Some publications save up their awards for special once a year blowout packages—but not us! We’re giving out awards whenever we want to, in whatever categories we want to, because that’s what we’re like.

We’re giving an award to an award, and everyone else should, too. It’s the single greatest piece of art produced in the North all year long: It’s this year’s incredible, enjoyable, emblematic Minnesota All Hockey Hair Team video. We should just post a transcript because every line is golden, but here’s just a taste: “You’ve heard of a rain dance? This is mane-dance.” “That A on his jersey is for arugula because that’s some spicy salad.” “Remember I was going to carve that butter sculpture? Well it cost $15,000, so instead I had my buddy do it.”