Local stand-up comedy is high risk, high reward—just ask a local comedy scenester. That’s one of the reasons why we’re so fired up for a truly good stand-up event thanks to Andrew Cahak and his new full-length album of material, Dracula. Along with Cahak’s set and sexy fresh vinyl record to scoop up, every opener at the release party can kill, whether they’re a comic or ripping band or host.

Ahead of Friday’s party—which is early, a bonus for many of you risk adverse to shows with 10 PM start times—we quick check in with Cahak about the bash, the bar, his questionable fast food selections and even more questionable musical knowledge: 

Secrets of the City: The album release is, in fact, a party with goth punk comedy queen Courtney Baka, MJ Marsh (2018 Runner-Up in Acme’s Funniest Person in Minneapolis), funny person Chris Maddock, and riff lords Falcon Arrow. How and why did you assemble such a great show?

Andrew Cahak: Well, look, I don’t mean to toot my own but I am a 37-year old man and over the course of those 37 years I’ve managed to cultivate a friendship or two. MJ has been a pal since the day we met and a true talent from front to back. Courtney and I used to run a really fun comedy-bingo mash-up called Fresh Hell and I always love to work with her, and Chris Maddock, well, let’s just say the ol’ Mad Dogger owes me a favor or two and I fully intend to collect, in blood of necessary. Plus, Falcon Arrow rips so hard that I couldn’t not ask them. And let’s not forget Ian Rans hosting the whole thing like a goddamned boss. Any more killers on the show and we’d need to keep an ambulance on stand-by.

Why at Mort’s? We know why, we just want to hear you say it.

Mort’s was available. Just kidding, I love that space! I used to run around with bands back in my flaming youth so I’ve always loved doing comedy in places that usually have music acts. I think Mort’s stage is perfect for comedy, too. It’s big and open and has great sight lines. And, most importantly, I love getting groceries at The Wedge before the show.
You sing some Creed on your album. Talk more about that.

Look, I don’t like Creed. I’ve never liked Creed. I have friends that did back in 90s but I’ve always known they’re whack. The problem is, Creed is like a bad penny, I cannot get Creed out of my life, so, bregudingly, I’ve learned to accept that Creed will always be a part of my life.  With arms wide open.
Comedians often get so caught up in their craft that they have to dissect every little tactical nuance of humor. Do you even—can you even—laugh any more?

I laugh all the time, it’s my favorite thing to do. My girlfriend and I say silly things to each other constantly and it brings me so much joy.  And I love comedy as an art, too.  If you do stand up, eventually you can sort of see The Matrix code on how to a joke works before the comic even finishes saying it but I still watch a ton of comedy just for fun.  I think Michelle Wolf is an absolute beast and Roy Wood, Jr. is another comedian I can’t get enough of.  There are also comedians in town who just destroy me (three of them are on the release show).  So yeah, I’m a huge fan of stand up comedy.  I’m just not a fan of MY* stand up comedy.  It’s too dark and I don’t think it’s funny at all.
You’ve got not one, but two, existential bits about Arby’s that may or may not be real. What’s your Arby’s go to (Big Montana?) or pro tip for ordering?

I’m so glad you asked. For many, many years, maybe even decades, I was all about the Chicken Bacon Swiss (AKA The CBS), hold the honey mustard, add horsey, but in recent years, they’ve changed their buns in a way I think was ill-advised so I’ve found myself exploring the roast beef end of the spectrum. The French Dip with Swiss is a private joy but I think the secret champion of the Arby’s menu is the Arby Melt. For my money, you can’t beat it for complex flavor in a simple package.  All that having been said, the real beauty of Arby’s is their willingness to expand the possibilities of what you can and should do with meat sandwiches in the fast food space and, I think, they should be applauded for that.  The best pro-tip I can give you is everything is permitted, nothing is sacred.  Get nasty.
*That’s a lie, I’m my own biggest fan.

Dracula LP Release Party, Friday, February 1st, 6-9 PM. $5.

Mortimer’s, 2001 Lyndale Ave S, MPLS; facebook.com/mortimersmpls