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Here Comes A Regular
"Best Dive Bars in 16 U.S. Cities" promises a link next to my Hotmail inbox. I actually loathe the squalid hole-in-the-wall atmosphere of the "dive bar," but I simply must let Citysearch have its way with me. #1 in the Twin Cities is... Liquor Lyle's! Following behind is Lucy-licious Matt's Bar, and in the #3 spot we have Psycho Suzi's, which is clean and newly decorated and therefor, I must argue, does not qualify as a "dive." To hell with Citysearch -- where do you go when you want to keep it real?
54 Reader Comments
The Red Dragon.
Bar Lurcat. That place is a fucking dive.
I, for one, must also voice an objection to the #1 pick on the list. Liquor Lyle's kicked someone I know out several weeks ago for having her dog with her. How you gonna say you're a dive bar, if you're that uptight? Huh, Liquor Lyle's?
the Cardinal has got to be the best dive bar on my side of town
Are they the ones who boast, "We patty our burgers fresh daily?"
Some of these places (Red Dragon) are way too trendy to be a dive bar. Try Erick's Bar on East 7th in St. Paul if you really wanna get your hands dirty.
I also hope Stand-Up Frank's and Palmer's are on that list.
Shmarah, both you and your dog-loving friends deserve to be kicked out of Lyle's and every other bar in town!
Mr. Hormann knows his dives. Stand Up Frank's and Palmer's are the real deal. Want proof? Go to either place with seven bucks in your pocket, and I promise you'll be drunk by the time you leave. Can you do that at the Dragon?
Yannarelly's. Corner of Payne and Maryland in St. Paul. Karaoke, $2 pints of Hamms in frosty mugs, and more people than teeth.
A few years ago we used to frequent the Vegas Lounge. That is until some old lady yelled a friend for dancing too much, saying that "she's the hostess with the mostess."
A little off the beaten path...the Brown Derby Lounge, on Stryker Avenue, on St. Paul's West Side. I recall spending many an underage Sunday afternoon...pulling pulltabs there with the family. Oh, those were the days. Drove by recently. They seem to have more windows now. I think that makes it slightly less dive-y, but it still looks like quite the dive.
red dragon and mortimers
I'm confused now. Is the best dive bar like a good one or like a really bad one?
If good, I would vote for Matt's Bar on cedar.
i agree that the dragon is getting too trendy, but it still has all the good dive bar features like shady characters and cheap strong booze. but the number guys with their collars up has increased over the past few years. I vote for the viking bar to.
Palmers. West Bank. Cheap drinks ... and, well, cheap drinks.
All Uptown bars should be excluded from this list. Not to start a neighborhood debate again, but Lyle's, Red Dragon, CC, they're all basically in Uptown and whereas Uptown itself is trend, so are its bars.
Sorry.
Mpls: When I lived here a few years ago, it was definitely Lyle's and the Dragon. Now, I gravitate toward the Triple Rock, the Hexagon, and the bowling alley at 40th and Bloomington.
NYNY: Duff's. Not as good (IMHO) as the old Bellevue Bar, but a much more convenient destination when you are boozing it up downtown.
The Spot Bar on Randolph in St. Paul. It's the oldest bar in the city and the sign out front is for Pig's Eye beer.
the Red Dragon is starting to become trendy? it's been trendy for a certain revolving hipster segment for at least 15 years. i think a bar can be simultaneously be a dive and be trendy, though i'd say the truer specimen is full of locals instead of people that look like you.
The Terminal Bar has remained the same shithole during the past 17 years I've been frequenting it (showing my age here) even whilst the former St. Anthony East across the street was gentrified as it became the ironically named "Whitey's."
Sure, the Hexagon Bar is still a dive because other than the music folks, the management (especially Rosie) remain unaffected by the bar's new-found trendiness. (Okay, I guess bartenders wearing MM7 [Mallman Marathon] t-shirts disqualifies that last comment.)
Either bar is going to be a pretty good dive at 3PM on a weekday. But let's see, it's Wednesday at nearly 11PM, which means Jake Rudh's transmission is at the Hex, so I think that tips the dive scales in favor of the Terminal.
I once spent an unforgettable night in Cocoran, MN (just outside the ever-growing Maple Grove). Now THOSE are dive bars, but that's not what the locals would call them.
I love the bars where when you (read: someone under 40 without a mullet or blistered, dirty hands or bangs like the Great Wall) walk in and everyone stars at you. Al's on Excelsior is like that.
eh im sure you're right chuck, i wouldnt know the true history of the place, 15 years ago i was only 9.
O'Donnovan's is a dive bar?!?
Stand Up Frank's definitely deserves a place on this list. No doubt about it. I'd also nominate the Terminal Bar and Al's Bar in SLP.
hooha, you mean al's on excelsior and france? oh my, i didn't think i'd see it in here, but that's the place. that is the place to dive in if you don't want to go up t stand up franks for a freakishly strong drink. love al's, and it's centrally located.
what about chatterbox?
So many dives, so little time! My votes go to the Otter Stop Inn, Dick's in Columbia Heights (urberdive!). the seedy little Little Jack's, Duffy's. Let's not forget Sue's joint, Stub & Herbs.
Also for the list, a couple of post-dive Cinderellas: the 331 Bar and the Sample Room (formerly Polish Palace), both recut gems in NE Mpls.
All blissfully smokefree, all still great dive bars!
A "dive" is any bar you go to with no regard for the condition of its rest rooms.
Al's on Excelsior is so authentic it would be right at home here on the Iron Range. I cona't put it much better than that.
Just a few for consideration. Cloggy's and the Sunrise down by the airport. Cloggy's was a 3.2 bar until several years ago. At 1 am they used to ask whoever wanted to leave to leave now and then lock the door and continue to serve 3.2 suds to who ever was left, but no one could leave until everyone decided to leave.
It's been a while since I was there so not sure the current state of them.
I would second The Spot in St Paul. It's right across the street from one of my friend's house and its a nice place.
Other St Paul places I would say for music, Big "V"'s is still retaining street cred. No polo shirts in there. Until its me I guess.
Cuzzy's.
I think this one circled the drain and finally went down, but the Goal Line on hennepin...a classic! RIP.
As a Cuzzy's fan...I don't think it is really a dive bar. The night the sink fell off the wall in the men's room and no one noticed until i turned off the water and informed our waitress or the building held together with metal rods or the sloping floor. Wait...Is Cuzzy's just the most expensive dive bar? $14 pitchers and no happy hour. Also I think daily food specials with portobella mushrooms preclude dive status. They are potentially moving to the Hardware store spot nextdoor so a developer can build much needed condos in the North Loop neighborhood.
Slim pickings in my part of south Minneapolis, but the Sunrise Inn should qualify as dive-y.
Also, afterbar fights at the 331 bar back in the day was a common occurance. Funny that a polo-shirted frat boy acquaintance should've "introduced" me to the NE bar 15+ years ago.
Good nominations, all.
I miss the window-less Jimmy's Steaks and Spirits on Minnehaha.
I need a drink.
country bar on lyndale/lake...the antler candelabras are amazing.
vfw on lyndale....thursdays salty dog queer sailors, old biddies with amaretto sours, tall cool one's karoake
19 bar in loring park...best gay bar in the cities
inn kahoots in hamel
Patrick's Lounge - Larpenter & Hamline in St. Paul. Nothing says dive bar like sticky red carpet.
The Uptown Bar takes the cake for best dive in Minneapolis (although Liquor Lyles is definitly a good one). Jason is the mackenist pimp I know that serves drinks. Hit me with another quicky you sly, cherry-blond, dog.
Tracy's (Seward), The Knightcap (NE), Casey's (on Nicollet south of Lake), Goby's (Highland), Skarda's (West 7th).
Nothing beats a meat raffle to impart Dive Cred! I always had slight reservations about the Knightcap but the place rocks and the pull tab happy hour is my favorite. Everytime you buy a drink during happy hour you get a pulltab that when opened is either full price, 50 cent off, half price or FREE!
O'Donovan's?!!! Pints are at least $6 there, aren't they? Fuck that noise.
I've seen no mention of Richfield's Frenchman's. The lack of any sign telling you that the bar is called Frenchman's (or even that it is open) is a good clue as to the quality of the bar.
I'm not going to tell you where my favorite dive bar is. I don't want you all to show up and ruin it for me.
As it currently stands, I'm just an anomoly, but if you all find out about it, the gig is up: trendy, no longer a dive bar, and I'll have to start looking again.
Sorry.
I second that Goby's vote. The Regulars love to mingle with Outsiders (esp. on Thursdays when the drinks really start flowing). On any given night you're guaranteed to see at least one glossy lipped fashionista laughing with a middle aged ponytailer over cheap brews...Priceless.
I saw a brawl break out between about 13-14 women at a bar once (this was a bar in a strip-mall somewhere between East St. Paul and Maplewood), and one of the women put out her ciagerette on one of the other women's head. It was absolutely crazy. I've never seen bouncers look that unsure of how to break up a fight.
"Bottles and Cans" in Chicago's Uptown neighborhood -- the name speaks for itself.
I lived in Mpls for 15 yrs, and never went to Mortimer's until a visit last year....great dive, with loooooong 2-for-1 specials (at least when I went there).
I also second the Terminal, Al's, and the Lyndale VFW.
I used to love the Polish Palace, which I know doesn't exist anymore, and Tony Jaros' River Garden...does that still exist? Also, I used to love the Roadhouse, which was a dive and is now Grumpy's, which I'm not sure if it's a dive or not, as I haven't been there in ages.
Not sure if Mayslack's or Nye's count as dives, but if they do, great!
Tony Jaro's is still there and making a fine Greeny and bachorette party destination. Grumpy's has three locations, the downtown one is dive-ish. The do host live wrestling and music now and again. Grumpy's NE sucks and no one should ever go there! Actually they have opened a smoking patio out back and Pat was working on heating options last time I was there. Grumpy's in Cooooooon Rapids (or Crapids as my friend from there has a wont to say) might as well be a Spectators.
Palmers, it's true they serve the stiffest drinks you can handle for cheap, and noone mentioned but they have a great jukebox and very eclectic, interesting crowd. I've recently learned bartender on Sunday and Monday's makes the best dirty Beefeater martini anywhere, for only 3.50! The legendary Viking, with its plethora of legendary musicians who play there to this day (Willie Murphy, Koerner . . . ), r and new good-time bands (Parr, Liquor Pigs) relaxed vibe, and a great place to shoot pool,. Of course the Hexagon, which remains a cool neighborhood dive regardless of fantastic music from all over and new clientele.
It's obviously my duty to add Stasiu's to this list. Though still fairly clean in comparison to its neighboring establishments, it's probably considered by most to be a dive bar.
Stand Up Frank's wins by a landslide. Yannarelly's: good call. I drank there almost nightly when I was 20. No one has mentioned the Washington/Broadway triangle of Johnny A's, Irv's, and BJs.
I would have to agree with Kevin that there are no dive bars in Uptown.
Stand Up Frank's is a top notch selection, but don't forget Halek's, its neighbor. All liquor in plastic cups, all beer by the can.
My friend Mike was there for a pool game, and hungry -- looking at the limited "menu", he asked the bartender for a hot dog. The bartender said: "you don't want a hot dog." Mike worked his way down to asking for nachos. The bartender replied: "You don't want the nachos..."
Honorable mention goes to the Terminal and Cardinal bars...
City Search is always trying to post the best ofs... whatever, check out Local Hipster or ThriftyHipster if you want to access every single bar in Minneapolis and their Happy Hours. Find all the dives in your neighborhood (and venture to South, thats the real divey area).
Sorry, Here is the link for that bar and happy hour site:
Localhipster.com
Tony Jaros rules! 100% dive but worth going to over and over again, same with Dusty's right down the street
Irv's, now gone. 3-for-1 early bird special, starting at 8:30AM! Nuff said.
Frenchman's in Richfield is definately the best dive...... I travel all over for a living, and it is the best local dive joint I have ever been too..... I can be called high maintenance, but they dont care, they still accepted me, and include me in everything....66th in Richfield
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