The daily digest of Twin Cities culture | Secrets of the City

Chanhassen has put down a ban on all lawn watering (except by permit for new sod). Can't there be some kind of low-maintenance ground cover that looks nice and is halfway usable for those two or three times every year when when people actually walk on their acreage lots to do anything but preen it?

Spent the weekend in Chicago. From the moment we landed @ O'Hare on Friday morning, it was just a constant crush of humanity. Makes you long for the wide open spaces of the Twin Cities.

Wood chips ... or so my neighbor thinks.

It looks odd, but he says he doesn't have to do anything to it. Says he is going to let the chips sit for a couple of years to build a solid foundation and then plant things.

Does anyone know if this is true? His reasoning seems off to me, but then I'm not a wood chip expert.

Cat: If he didn't use landscape fabric before we spead the wood chips, he is in for an unpleasent surprise, as weeds and grass will crop up as soon as the rain returns.

Yes, they do biodegrade into the soil. I use cyprus mulch. It lasts long, resists floating away in heavy rains and smells good when you spread a new layer, which you should do every couple of years or two.

Here's something: My iPod won't turn off. I have to let the fucker go completely dead as it won't even go into standby mode after 60 seconds on pause. Any theories as to why this is happening? The problem seems to right itself after a complete recharge, but this time it just won't turn off.

Some of the young techies on this site should be able to help. I am still draging around an Victrola to listen to my tunes.

Taylor is live blogging an event he isn't attending? That's cutting edge. Is there going to be a live stream so he has stuff to blog about?

Is anybody else seeing Erasure at First Ave this Friday? I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Hey all,
I'm performing at ACME a week from Friday (8/3) in the first round of the Funniest Person in the Twin Cities contest. The show starts at 1030pm and after the MC warms up the crowd I (along with 3-4) other people will be doing three minutes of material. After that, there's a regular comedy show [so even if we suck, there will be pros telling jokes later] I've got a bunch of free tickets, so let me know if you and yours might like to come. This is my fifth year doing it and I think that the material that I have for this set is easily some of my best evar! That is all.

Bixby - I'm in. I dropped you an email.

Maz - Just by asking that question I'm sure you won't find it funny because it's clear you don't get it in the first place. Just sayin. Wanna go? Let's go Maz, right now.

saxton, i know of that place. we actually stopped there the other nigth thinkingit was open...

Bixby: I think you need to test drive some material on us.

Grote: A couple of Christmases ago, I was in Chicago on business a few days before the holidays. I stayed at the Sheraton off of Michigan Ave. That retail area is absolutely gorgeous during the holidays. I remember walking through a light snow with all the white lights, and it felt like I was in a Dicken's story.

Ali: My iPod won't start a charge when I plug it into my Mac. I thought that was supposed to charge it because I can't find the regular charger. Am I wrong on this? (Also, I left you a joke...)

All: I'm sitting in Nina's Cafe across from W.A. Frost in St. Paul. Is this the nicest coffee shop in the Twin Cities? I think so.

Alie, did you try just holding down the play/pause button?

That busters looks like a nice menu. But I'll wait to eat there until they figure out where the f*** they are at.

I kinda have a headache today.

Woodchips...I want to find these people who like woodchips. And destroy them.

Yes, that is a Michele Bachmann keychain in my pocket. That makes 1 (one) Michele Bachmann, 1 (one) Budweiser frog bottle opener, and 1 (one) MSU,Mankato alumnus tag plus 10 (ten) keys all on my keychain. It's gettin' kinda heavy. My 5 (five) key-cards are stored separately.

Is there anything better than running on a hot, humid, polluted day until your lungs can't possibly take it anymore? No there isn't says this wide-eyed wonderer.

Went to Dick's the other day and bought a Big Stick.

aeklund - Are you using a firewire cable? Newer iPods do not support firewire-to-Mac connections.

Maybe the woodchips guy would change his mind if he knew about this.

I'm using an offbrand connector to USB which has always worked for synching. And I believe for power too. It's completely dead right now, and it seems to start to power up, as well as synch, and I'm assuming it's burning through what little power it's been given and powering down.

Me not too gud at this techie stuff...apparently. (For a web guy, I sure am not the gadget guy.)

nope, know nothing else about it, but if they have good burgers, I'll go there fairly regularly since it is pretty close to my house.

i went there when it was the river in a few times....

dodgeball is mean, it leaves people out and targets the weakest ones.

so yeah, minneapolis parks has one:
http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=932

Maz - Just by asking that question I'm sure you won't find it funny because it's clear you don't get it in the first place.

Actually, I couldn't care less. I was just being polite.

Actually, I couldn't care less. I was just being polite.

You're dishonest.

I know. I really do care. I hope she does well.

I don't really trust girls in bikinis to do work. I had a bunch of girls in bikinis wash my car once and they did a really crappy job. One of the girls on roller skates and wearing a cop hat straddled me, pushed her crotch into mine and shoved a hot dog down my mouth though (see last photo). It wasn't all bad.

Grote, sorry your weekend in Chicago was crushed by the sea of humanity. I totally know what you mean. Although, I think that we have that same crush of humanity here. Other than all the people, Chicago is fabulous. Dunkin' Donuts on every corner and all the wonderful shopping. Not to mention Lake Michigan. I miss Chicago. I grew up there and haven't been there in a year.

teucer- have you seen that music video? Heh.

what do you mean a slow news day ? lidsay lohan got arrested for coke again

Kevin- duh, of course I did, I've had it for a year and do know how to turn it on and off. I could hold down the button for an hour and it won't turn off.

Alie, what I think he means is to hold the play (center of dial) and pause (top center of dial) at the same time (I believe it's for 6 seconds or so) until you see the Apple logo appear on the screen. Of course, I have a pretty old iPod, so your mileage may vary.

Although you'd have the same problem with runoff that Wood Chip Man is going to have with his sheets of plastic.

Aliecat, try this:

1. Toggle the Hold switch on and off.
2. Press and hold the Menu and Select buttons until the Apple logo appears, about 6 to 10 seconds. You may need to repeat this step.
3. Play.

i got a letter from the city (mpls) saying i have to schedule an appt with a property assessor to let them inside my house so they could re-assess my property value. i know the city is broke and all, but this seems extreme, no? i'm just gonna blow it off and hope they forget.

apropos of nothing local, my brother's co-worker had his bachelor party on Friday night...his fiancee was (thank god) out of town, so he crashed @ her place, which was conveniently located on the bar-heavy street where much of the revelry took place.

Dude woke up Saturday morning and dragged himself to the bathroom, only to notice that his palm was coppery-orange. Once he was able to stand @ the toilet, he looked down only to notice that his man parts were also tinted a strange shade of copper-orange. With a little detective work, he realized that in his blacked-out state the night prior he had decided to pleasure himself with the aid of his fiancee's handcream...but had grabbed her self-tanning cream instead.

Alie, next time just buy a regular Mp3 player instead of a flashy designer one.

i'm just gonna blow it off ...

cubbie, that's what i did.

grote, that totally reminds me of an old joke involving Cheetos...

Alie, next time just buy a regular Mp3 player instead of a flashy designer one.

Pfft...you're just jealous! Heh...

Douglas, in the words of Rick Moranis..."What the hell am I looking at?!?!?!"

I'd like to buy a painting for my house. Not a print, but an actual original painting. I'm thinking of a local landscape or cityscape. Are there any good online resources to view paintings by local artists?

Miller, probably not what you had in mind, but there's always IKEA. They have huge pieces of art that are pretty cheap...otherwise I'm not sure where the good local art is...

Chocolate Covered spresso Beans + PC = Bad Idea

Tara, interesting site...I found this guy particularly cool, although the sci fi western girl a little bit scary...

Miller - if you're looking for local and reasonably priced, MCAD has it's annual art sale the first weekend in December. I know it's kinda far out, but I've found some really cool pieces there.

Aliecat, if you liked that site, you might also like Jay long. He's from Austin and one of my favorite artists. I have a couple of his Giclee reproductions.

http://www.jaylongstudio.com/

Alie, that's very disappointing to hear. I thought you were smarter than that.

Tib: disturbing is a tad of an understatement about Chris Mars' work. Couldn't imagine having one of his works in my house and walking by it - it would have that creepy eye following me feel to it in addition to thinking that the thing would climb out of the frame to eat my head.

Kevin...I know...I got all caught up in spending money...

Ross, that's awesome that you got to interview him. Which publication will it be running in? At least he was nice. I hate it when you meet someone you have liked for a while and they turn out to be a turd.

I was just at Caribou and in the card stand I saw a card featuring Ze Frank teaching people how to dance properly.

I never thought I would see Ze Frank on a greeting card. It was actually a pretty cool card.

"Ross, that's awesome that you got to interview him. Which publication will it be running in?"

I would assume that would be running in his employer's publication: PiPress

"Is there anything better than running on a hot, humid, polluted day until your lungs can't possibly take it anymore?"

Yeah. The first cigarette when you get back.

- (To the "Mpls Assessor wants to inspect inside my home!" guy - if you don't arrange a time and let them in, they get to "guess" at the value of your home. They will guess quite high, and your taxes will suck more hugely than they do now, and then it's your burden to ask for and schedule a re-inspection, and if you miss some tight deadlines, I think you're stuck with the inflated value for the year. Unless you're concerned that they'll see your 740 sinsemilla plants under the grow-lights downstairs, Let Them In! It's lots easier and cheaper in the long run.)

- And, finally, the heavy plastic in the yard'll be perfect. Once his chips rot (September, probably), he'll be able to just lift up the corners of the entire yard and carry it all away.

Tara_j: "I like work that is spooky and a little unsettling, but I want it to be pretty at the same time."

If you don't already know of him, you might like Mark Ryden, who can be both macabre and whimsical in his surrealism. Sometimes at the same time.

Tuecer, Mark Ryden is one of my favorites. I was just on his site today and saw that he just released a little package of prints that I plan to buy. I love Marion Peck too. Whenever she releases a new print, I always seem to miss it though.

Is anybody else going to the Cocktails with Preservationist thing tomorrow at the Water Power Park?

Mark Ryden, who can be both macabre and whimsical in his surrealism.

And who paints many females who resemble the young Christina Ricci: enormous eyes/foreheads. It's a thing.

Josie: "One thing I don't get about all these drunk girls and their DUIs: why don't they hire a driver, for crying out loud?"

Indeed. What's the point of having an entourage if you don't have someone who can drive your ass around when you've had a few too many?

Also, couldn't one person in your vast entourage carry your illegal drugs for you, so if you do get busted it's not in your pants pocket?

I love that Gawker uses the word Insaner in the headline.

Miller: " So, it may have been difficult to round up a sober driver to assist in the SUV chase."

That's why my entourage will include a teetotaller whose sole job is to pursue former employees/entourage members on my behalf. "Sober ex-employee retrieval guy - Sebastiane, is it? - this is where you earn your salary. I want that amended non-disclosure agreement signed. American Werewolf In London - you'd better go with him in case things get iffy."

Is it only convention that says "insane" can't have a comparative ending, rather than coming in the expected form "more insane"? I don't see why not, in which case I'm wondering what Heschian PR nightmare would warrant the superlative "insanest"?

My GOD, I love today in celeb gossip, even though it makes me feel like a shallow and useless person. I'll read some Jared Diamond or something tonight to stay balanced.

With that said: more on Britney.

Ooh, I really liked Guns, Germs, and Steel. It was a very intriguing book indeed. Which of his are you reading atm?

I've been working my way through Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed for (seriously) two years now. I'll read a chapter and be totally into it, but it's not exactly light bedtime reading, which makes it tough for me to stick with at times (see: addiction to Lohan gossip). Especially in the summer; it totally weighs down your beach bag.

It's worth it for the factoid that a common insult among Easter Islanders back in their cannibal days was "the flesh of your mother sticks between my teeth!"

Josie: "It's worth it for the factoid that a common insult among Easter Islanders back in their cannibal days was "the flesh of your mother sticks between my teeth!"

That's an awesome insult. It's interesting to see that mother disses are truly a universal meme, though (although probably not unexpected). It's hard to get more remote than Easter Island.

I haven't read Collapse yet. It's on my list of 'things I need to get around to doing'.

Collapse rocks. I finished it a few months back, but Josie is right, it isn't exactly Danielle Steele. I think it's oddly contradictory of some of the premises in Guns, Germs and Steel, but I find it somewhat comforting that even a brilliant scholar can undermine his own case.

Although the phrase "I cooked your mother and then I ate her" doesn't change meaning at all, strangely.

I used to read obnoxiously thick non-fiction books constantly; right around the time I started Collapse was when I started to burn out on them a little. I'll have to give it my devoted attention this winter, maybe: right now I'm either re-reading obsessively (hello, Harry Potter) or reading beach books (otherwise known as chick lit).

My taste runs either Velveeta or Brie, with no real in-between.

The last book I read was Diary by Chuck Palahniuk. It was deliciously weird and pretty short.

I really dislike Chuck Palahniuk as a writer, but he's a good idea guy. I think his writing style (particularly the dialogue) is immature and clunky, but his plot ideas would nearly all make for fun movies.

I was seriously shaking with excitement when I started reading it. Enjoy!!!

All I have read are the spoilers.

Ain't got time for no jibber jabber!

Einsteinian time dilation. It's basic general relativity. Mr T may be posting from somewhere near a seriously large and compressed mass that has significantly warped space/time.

So although it only took him a few moments to compose his post and hit "send", seven hours passed for us in our own temporal frame of reference.

Look, I know it's miserable outside and I lived for five years without central air, so I feel. I do. But I hate how fucking loud my central air is. It's like a damn jet engine in there.

It's not all gold and blow jobs in the high life, people. Don't forget that.

I really dislike Chuck Palahniuk as a writer, but he's a good idea guy. I think his writing style (particularly the dialogue) is immature and clunky, but his plot ideas would nearly all make for fun movies.

Tara, that's precisely why I do like his writing, puts me off center and gets me mentally wonky without chemicals...but I agree, his books are highly adaptable screenplays.

DouglasG: You're not late with your wishes! I have almost two weeks before I perform. However, thank you very much for the wishes.

Re: Reading. I've been reading an insane amount this summer. I just joined Librarything.com because I've decided that a. I want to keep track of what I managed to do with my many books (especially since they are in three different locations right now) and I have decided to keep track of everything I've read post-college. Let's see how long I can keep this up...

I just read The Overachievers by Alexandra Robbins, which is about how kids feel pushed to overachieve. I found it quite interesting in light of the indy study I did the past year on what happens when students at my college fail at things academically, socially, extracurricularly. I'm so glad I'm out of that pressure cooker. Anyway, I recommend it. It a fascinating look at why many millennials (1979-2001 birth year) are bat-shit crazy
(I'm looking at you Lohan and Spears..damn overachievers)

Anyway, right now I am in the midst of trying to read 10 books in 10 days. I'm reading a lot of non-fiction anthologies simulateously and I have until the morning of 8/1 to finish my quest. After that, I start my grown-up job. Sigh.

What else have you guys been reading this summer?

What else have you guys been reading this summer?

Terrorist by John Updike

The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl

Finishing Krakatoa, The Day the World Exploded, by Simon Winchester

Here's a thought why no one has spilled the beans about Harry but didn't keep the Sopranos finale "secret:" unlike the Sopranos, no one can be sure just when a critical mass of readers will complete the book. (E.g. a friend starting reading it Saturday morning and plans to be finished by this coming Monday.) On the other hand, there already was a critical mass of Sopranos viewers who witnessed the finale. So, do you spoil the Harry surprise for 98% of the readers who haven't yet finished the book, or do you complain because you were among the 2% who TiVoed the Sopranos and your friends couldn't keep their mouths shut?

I know, I'm just sayin the media seems to be selective about what it spoils and what it doesn't. Remember the kerfufu that developed during the last Olympics? As more and more people adopt linear television, it's going to be a bigger issue, and people are going to be pissed when they visit their favorite newssite and get their favorite TV show spoiled.

They're building a skyscraper on Discovery Channel right now. OMG, it's tall.

Change it from the inside, big dog. Exert some influence. Affect change.

In the spot light: BWFU welders fought to improve work safety conditions across the country.