On a Tuesday night two weeks ago, the letter showed up in the mail. It is included below, so you can see for yourself the kind of verbal mastery it takes to make a legal document sound like Keillor’s forlorn nostalgic prose.

Let’s quickly review the situation: Garrison Keillor — a liberal comedian! — is threatening to sue MNspeak — some blog! — that uses a t-shirt to poke fun of his mega-gigantic media empire. You’d think we shot Guy Noir or something.

Man, this guy is getting old.

Fighting off the urge to tell everyone on the planet about the old guy’s folly, the first thing I decide to do is give him a second chance. I immediately call Keillor’s lawyer, and the brief conversation goes something like this:

Me: “Listen, you really don’t want to do this. I highly suggest you tell your client to revoke this cease and desist.”

Him: “Why?”

Me: “First off, your client has no legal basis for this, and it’s clear you’re just trying to bully me. Secondly, this is going to make your client look extremely out of touch. I’ll even write the headline for you: ‘Liberal Comedian Sues Blogger.’ Do you really want that?”

Him: “Is that a threat, Mr. Sorgatz?”

Me: “Dear god, no. I’m trying to be nice about this. I’m just telling you to let this go. I’ve made no real money off this, and there are only a handful of t-shirts left. If you let it go, I’ll let it go. This is just going to blow up in your client’s face.”

Him: “I’ll consult with my client.”

The lawyer disappears for 10 days, and I assume it’s over. Then he calls back late last week to say Keillor still wishes to pursue his cease and desist.

Woebegone Legalities

Exhibit A: This is the t-shirt page (with the “Buy” buttons removed and image redacted).

I have no doubt about where I stand legally. Parody typically falls under Fair Use (or sometimes, the First Amendment), and this is clearly an instance of parody. There are a series of factors involved in the definition of parody, including this: it is probably parody unless a “reasonable person” could mistake the new work [the t-shirt] as the work of the copyright owner [Prairie Home Companion]. To claim copyright infringement would involve arguing (as the cease and desist letter below implies) that some lost soul could find their way to MNspeak.com, click through to the t-shirt, and ignore the message in bold that clearly says “WARNING: This shirt is not associated in any way with Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keillor, MPR, The Fitzgerald, or, well, anything — it is PARODY.”

In other words, Garrison Keillor would have to prove in court that Minnesotans are stupid.

‘Liberal Comedian Sues Blogger’

So what now? I’ve temporarily honored the cease and desist, but haven’t decided how to proceed. Since there were only about 10 shirts left (and I had no plans on reprinting new ones), there’s no real economic reason to pursue this. And besides, let’s be clear about the scope of what we’re actually talking about: a fairly stupid t-shirt with four words on it. In an age of much bigger problems, is this really worth fighting for?

But here’s the thing: it annoys the living hell out of me that Garrison Keillor thinks he can bully me. And not only that, he incorrectly invokes our legal system to do it.

I am starting to talk to lawyers about my options, and am filing a report with the ACLU this week. But since this site makes minimal money, I have no plans to pay for legal assistance — if anyone knows a young sparky first amendment lawyer who wants to investigate a potentially high-profile case (on a pro bono basis), email me at rex@mnspeak.com.

Congratulations Garrison, you’ve won the round.

To be continued…

See Also:

PubLaw: Parody: Fair Use or Copyright Infringement

Supreme Court: Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc. (critical case in establishing fair use precedent)

The Rake: A Prairie Groan Companion (satire from 2002)