Secrets of the City

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There are still some of the real shirts available.

So the creators of the “I Got Laid At Al and Alma’s” t-shirt (mentioned earlier) didn’t just get cease and desisted — they got a full-blown restraining order. Strangely enough, the website that was selling the shirts hasn’t changed — the order form is still there. You guys need a lawyer? We happen to know a few… Meanwhile, we’ve found the video from Al & Alma’s boat cruise (ha-ha gotchya, it’s just a commercial).

The t-shirt industry lately seems to aspire to become an actual form of media — relevant, issue-based, and breaking. We already mentioned the Vikings boat tee, but this one’s even more current: I Hate Fox 9 News: The Snitch Station. Buy now before the KARE and WCCO employees snag them all up for Christmas gifts.

Forget that Oakland Raiders Randy Moss jersey you were going to prank your Vikings-loving dad with on Christmas — treat him to a I Got Laid At Al & Alma’s tee instead. “Everyone will think you got some lovin’ on Lake Minnetonka.” Um, yeah.

For the Christmas season, we are dropping the price on most of our t-shirts by over 20% to $14. If you’ve ever wanted to support this site, buying one of the few t-shirts that are left would be a good way to do so. Buy now.

Harry Shearer’s weekly radio program did a parody of Garrison Keillor (and us), inspired by our little t-shirt fracas. Click here to hear the show, and fast-forward your RealPlayer to 31:00 to get to the segment. Shearer (who, not that you need reminding, is the voice of several Simpson’s characters including Smithers, Principal Skinner, and Ned Flanders — and was also Derek Smalls in Spinal Tap) is not broadcast on MPR in the Twin Cities, but is heard in most major markets around the country, plus Mankato, Austin, and Duluth. It’s funny!

Garrison Keillor was on Al Franken’s show yesterday, and for the first time he seems to sorta publicly acknowledge the ‘Prairie Ho’ debacle, if only obliquely. Here’s a quick audio clip, wherein Keillor intones with the smugness we’ve all grown to love. If you care to hear more, you can download the whole episode here.

A Prairie Homeboy Companion

On a Tuesday night two weeks ago, the letter showed up in the mail. It is included below, so you can see for yourself the kind of verbal mastery it takes to make a legal document sound like Keillor’s forlorn nostalgic prose.

Let’s quickly review the situation: Garrison Keillor — a liberal comedian! — is threatening to sue MNspeak — some blog! — that uses a t-shirt to poke fun of his mega-gigantic media empire. You’d think we shot Guy Noir or something.

Man, this guy is getting old.

Fighting off the urge to tell everyone on the planet about the old guy’s folly, the first thing I decide to do is give him a second chance. I immediately call Keillor’s lawyer, and the brief conversation goes something like this:

Me: “Listen, you really don’t want to do this. I highly suggest you tell your client to revoke this cease and desist.”

Him: “Why?”

Me: “First off, your client has no legal basis for this, and it’s clear you’re just trying to bully me. Secondly, this is going to make your client look extremely out of touch. I’ll even write the headline for you: ‘Liberal Comedian Sues Blogger.’ Do you really want that?”

Him: “Is that a threat, Mr. Sorgatz?”

Me: “Dear god, no. I’m trying to be nice about this. I’m just telling you to let this go. I’ve made no real money off this, and there are only a handful of t-shirts left. If you let it go, I’ll let it go. This is just going to blow up in your client’s face.”

Him: “I’ll consult with my client.”

The lawyer disappears for 10 days, and I assume it’s over. Then he calls back late last week to say Keillor still wishes to pursue his cease and desist.

Woebegone Legalities

Exhibit A: This is the t-shirt page (with the “Buy” buttons removed and image redacted).

I have no doubt about where I stand legally. Parody typically falls under Fair Use (or sometimes, the First Amendment), and this is clearly an instance of parody. There are a series of factors involved in the definition of parody, including this: it is probably parody unless a “reasonable person” could mistake the new work [the t-shirt] as the work of the copyright owner [Prairie Home Companion]. To claim copyright infringement would involve arguing (as the cease and desist letter below implies) that some lost soul could find their way to MNspeak.com, click through to the t-shirt, and ignore the message in bold that clearly says “WARNING: This shirt is not associated in any way with Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keillor, MPR, The Fitzgerald, or, well, anything — it is PARODY.”

In other words, Garrison Keillor would have to prove in court that Minnesotans are stupid.

‘Liberal Comedian Sues Blogger’

So what now? I’ve temporarily honored the cease and desist, but haven’t decided how to proceed. Since there were only about 10 shirts left (and I had no plans on reprinting new ones), there’s no real economic reason to pursue this. And besides, let’s be clear about the scope of what we’re actually talking about: a fairly stupid t-shirt with four words on it. In an age of much bigger problems, is this really worth fighting for?

But here’s the thing: it annoys the living hell out of me that Garrison Keillor thinks he can bully me. And not only that, he incorrectly invokes our legal system to do it.

I am starting to talk to lawyers about my options, and am filing a report with the ACLU this week. But since this site makes minimal money, I have no plans to pay for legal assistance — if anyone knows a young sparky first amendment lawyer who wants to investigate a potentially high-profile case (on a pro bono basis), email me at rex@mnspeak.com.

Congratulations Garrison, you’ve won the round.

To be continued…

See Also:

PubLaw: Parody: Fair Use or Copyright Infringement

Supreme Court: Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc. (critical case in establishing fair use precedent)

The Rake: A Prairie Groan Companion (satire from 2002)

Ah ha! So we’re not the only ones pan handling our wears on our blog-sorta-local-media-website. The cats at Gawker started doing this as well. And they are asking for input, just like… us! Which website came first? OK, so it was Gawker. But who launched their totally sweet American Apparel t-shirt line first? That would be MNSpeak. We’re ground-breaking. Now buy a t-shirt so we can have a happy hour.

If you’re getting here via C.J.’s column today, here’s the link to the t-shirts. When she asks if I’m worried about the wrath of Keillor, she quotes me as saying, “Well, actually, if they are not OK with it, then it would be hilarious if Garrison Keillor would come talk to me. It would be the best thing that could happen to me.” What I actually said is that it would be hilarious if Garrison Keillor sued me — because that would be the best thing to ever happen to me. Get your “Prairie Ho” right here.