Secrets of the City

Judy Grundstrom launched a new column on her blog yesterday called “Single Twin Cities” — and with it a new twitter account, of course.  “What this will be,” she writes, “is a column written anonymously by a few of my single friends who are on the dating scene in the Twin Cities.”

Interesting. Interesting.

Her first column is basically a rant against male presumptuousness — as in… don’t presume I want more than sex from you, mista’.

Here’s the thing and I don’t mean to be harsh but this guy wasn’t even a contender to date me.  It was casual and fun, no strings attached hook-ups. There were no dates, no Happy Hours, no dinners, no movies, nothing but 2am calls to meet up. So what’s the dramatic, “I’m interested but I’m not interested in it going beyond sex” line? Dude, you’re not a Cassanova and I’m not a Juliet who sits at home hoping and praying you’re going to ask me out on dates.  I’ve already called a Spade a Spade, haven’t you?

And I think singer Ke$ha sums it nicely by saying, “Quit being a bitch with your chit-chat. Just show me where your dick’s at…”

And seriously….

Dude. I don’t want to date you.

Earlier this week, Kristine Vruno, @Vruno, tweeted, “Single guys, here’s advice: 1) get decent sheets 2) get mattresses off floors 3) Get top sheets 4) Have extra pillow for your lady guests,” followed by, “Single guy advice II: 1) Upgrade comforter from dorm days 2) Clean bathrooms 3) Promo mugs aren’t wine glasses 4) Pizza boxes not decorative.”

So, of course, I had to chime in. “I think you’re onto something here, @Vruno. No “used” socks under bed. #singleguyadvice“

What a great idea for a hashtag, I thought. But, @judypdi already had something else in mind; she was busy collecting data for her Twin Cities Not-So-Sexy List.

It’s the time of year when Valentines is close and love is in the air.  People are talking about romance and many Twin Cities publications are making lists of sexy things to do, even lists of the Sexiest Twin Citians. The problem is, here in Minnesota, we are not particularly very sexy up in here.  We are really not sexy this time of year in the throws of winter with snow up to our eyeballs and bad fashion choices all around.  Our population is known for being passive aggressive, hard to get to know, and likewise really hard to date.  There is a reason we ended up as #46 on the Best & Worst Cities to Find Love list with a “D” for singles and an “F” for marriage.  So, instead of doing a Valentines list about how “sexy” we are and what the “sexy things” are to do around town are, I thought I would give you a Twin Cities Not-So-Sexy-List.

No dirty apartments. Sorry, @stephenhero. @judypdi doesn’t think it’s sexy. “Yeah, that’s not so sexy.  Sometimes when you think you win you really loose.” Interesting misspelling, though. I like.

No dating for tickets to sports events.

No poopy picnic food.

No drunk to the point of passing out.

No footsie pjs.

And most definitely, above and beyond all that, none of this! (@emilysaysso chimed in with this tweet: “@judypdi Too long to tweet, but this is my worst date. http://bit.ly/dy5IMr Ended in the hospital.”)

What else? What else? Bad date stories? Not-so-sexy ideas? Help the brothers out.

Yes, according to The Daily Beast: The Land of 10,000 Lakes might safely be renamed the Land of 10,000 Dates. The Twin Cities’ chilly climes gave us Al Franken, Jesse Ventura, and Thomas Friedman—a comedian/legislator, a wrestler, and a well-known intellectual—which says something about their ability to produce desirable men of all types. Minneapolis ranked high in all our criteria.

A blogger responds to men who stare at her: I know you’re looking at my butt, and I don’t find it flattering. You are the reason I want to wear nothing but extremely baggy sweatpants and sweatshirts, like I did in high school, for that reason. I also don’t think it is an effective way to hit on me. If you think by looking me up and down and winking or licking your lips I’m going to go weak in the knees and instantly fall in love with you, you are extremely mistaken.

What are some of the worst failed seductions you’ve experienced in the Twin Cities?

Tomorrow is the first day of spring, traditionally a time in Minnesota when everyone who got together to merge body heat for the coming winter finally calls it quits. Anyone else notice this historical seasonal break-up trend? And where are all the singles heading for new meat? (This Citypages blog post http://blogs.citypages.com/food/2009/03/surly_makes_cra.php hints at some food-related locales).

My wife has a good friend struggling to find Mr. Right back in her regressive home state, and we’re convinced she’d do well to move and start dating up here in the TC.  But here’s the problem: I look around my friendship group, and it’s like I don’t know any single guys anymore.  (Seriously, when did that happen?)  Today, Katherine Kersten’s interview subject writes that good men are hard to find because they are playing Warcraft, reading Maxim and mistrusting the feminism-addled self-centered sluts of their generation.

What would a gal looking for a single late 20s-early 30s dude who listens to NPR on his way to church on Sunday do to start dating in the TC?

Mac Weekly knows: Trust me, there are some serious hunks elsewhere in this city and they are just begging you to ask them out. Some great places to scout for men of all sorts are the downtown Minneapolis library, First Ave (Too Much Love, a band you like), Dinkytown (Kitty Kat Club, Starlight Coffee)-the list goes on. Check out City Pages or Vita.mn for other ideas. (Via)

The 25 US Cities with the Highest Percentage of Singles #11. Minneapolis, MN. Population: 372,833 — Single Percentage: 46.3% If you think the mind is the sexiest part of the body, head to Minneapolis, which routinely captures the title of most literate city in the United States.

Hi all, What local online dating sites are there for singles in MN? Are there sites that are better than others in your opinion and if so, why?

Thanks for any links/referrals.

It’s Twin Cities Pride this weekend! Fun for gays, lesbians, transgender, bisexuals, and boring old heterosexuals alike. Who’s going this year? I’ll definitely be at the parade with my gay boyfriend Sunday ogling unattainable hotties.