Secrets of the City

Primero

Submitted for your approval: today is the 50th anniversary of “The Twilight Zone.”

Fav episode? Shatner vs Gremlin? Monsters on Maple Street?

I think mine is the one with Robert Readford as the Grim Reaper.

This morning I’m interviewing Wayne Brady- the new host of “Let’s Make A Deal” on CBS (it replaces Guiding Light – sorry Kevin).

Anyway, I want to do part of the interview like it’s the show. Any suggestions? Should I ask him for a hard boiled egg? A matchbook from a steakhouse?

Does anyone even get these references?

What happens if he doesn’t have a purse to rifle through?

Is “rifle through” redundant?

Be sure to wear a costume to catch Brady’s eye, Jason. I recommend the white stripper boots, or your light bulb costume from the Holidazzle. My good question for Brady: “Did Marcia have any ‘work’ done on her after the football incident?”

Oh, he’s not one of those Brady’s? Never mind then…

I know, the lack of the purse makes the joke a little lamer. Although Wayne Brady may carry a purse.

Originally I wanted to do the whole interview like a game show (it’s done via satellite) — and keep asking him if we wants to trade what he’s won for something else. I’m thinking that might only be funny to me.

I like the show about the Hitchiker who turns up again and again.

The great ending to my fav TZ episode, “Nothing in the Dark.”

I don’t think the Twins stand much of a chance of making it into the playoffs.

Here’s a scene from another good one, The Hunt,” about a man and his dog. The actor’s name is Arthur Hunnicutt. I don’t know the dog’s real name.

I listened that band called Red Pens on its myspace page.

I didn’t know why anyone would name a band Red Pens. I know now who would: a band that makes music like that.

I occurs to me that the chick-i-faction of rock ‘n’ roll ripped the guts out of the music.

Sure, it was sexist. But it was better.

Ooooh, there are so many good TZ episodes. The one with Billy Mumy as the terror child is very memorable. I was just thinking about The Hunt earlier this week, justpbob. Really. It came to mind as I was thinking some thoughts about the loyalty of pets. Hmmm. I wonder if a cat would’ve done the same as the dog in that episode?

For you consideration

Wasn’t Red Pens just Picked To Click by the City Pages? Heard of them, not heard anything by them.

Just a few more Clicks and you’ll find them.

JD ask him if his contract has a mystery compensation clause…if you hit these rating marks your get either an extra 700k or free tacos on Wednesdays between 2-3pm for life at most Kogi Taco Trucks?

A cat would have drowned the man, the dog and the raccoon, and then claimed to be the only survivor.

Cats are servants of Satan, and witches’ familiars. At least that what my dog thinks.

“A cat would have drowned the man, the dog and the raccoon, and then claimed to be the only survivor.”

They’re like Rahm Emanual in that way.

Emanual would have laughed, and then shouted loudly, “Okay, who’s next?!”

Every President needs someone like that in his inner circle. Makes for a more efficent and effective administration.

I like the subtle sales pitch in this Subaru ad, featuring the soabox derby’s smaller cousin, the Pinewood Derby.

On that note: Karl Rove was up Fargo/Moorhead way, this week.

Pinewood Derby: sounds like a Red Pens song.

I can’t believe the TV guy is making fun of me for watching an hour of programming on his station every single weekday.

“As Rove took the stage, one man yelled “You’re a great American, Karl.””

It is good to see that irony and snark can bloom on the prairie as well as in the city.

A Pinewood Derby is what Odd Job used until he upgraded to steel.

Garrison Keillor recommends cutting off medical care for John McCain, Colin Powell, and Olympia Snowe, among others:
http://bit.ly/1Pb1ta (links to Chicago Tribune op-ed).

Getting cold and nasty out there…

I tried to fix my lameness by deciding to see Tapes n Tapes at the Entry at the last minute last night. I know they’re several years behind cool now but they still rock, unlike that shoegaze crap that all the kids are listening too. But, I’m still lame, because I snuck out a little early so I could pedal my sorry ass home through the freezing rain and be in bed by 1.

Wanna rock, jeffk? leave the lame biking to the kids and get yourself a Thunderbird

Jeff your still young cause you think “coolness” is a fleeting concept that can be taken away by a third person.

Coolness can’t simply expire due to time past and/or what some person/s (all the kids)in a magazine or website says.

Cool is intrinsic. The only way it can be altered is by change from within.

Last day, last day, last day!!!!! It’s my last day of work!

dear minnesotans,

this is outdoor football weather.

-g rote

Cool is intrinsic. The only way it can be altered is by change from within.

Like buying a car with five doors.  That’s something no cool-minded adult should do.

Perhaps coolness can’t be taken away, ryanl, but it can be outlived. Does the name Billy Corgan ring a bell?

D*ck. Don’t rag on the only guy who can pull off wearing silver pants. Jealous f*cker.

Does hanging out with nubile porn starlets make Billy Corgan more or less cool?

Some would say “Yes!”

If Billy Corgan had died after Siamese Dream, he’d be a hero of Morrisonian or even Cobanian proportions. Now he’s just a weenie hasbeen.

Iggy Pop has more cool in his artificial hip than Corgan has in his whole being.

@grote: Crogan was cool for about 10 minutes. Then, everyone got wise to his Billy Mumy-ness. When you start to think of yourself as cool, or start to take yourself way, way too seriously, that’s when you lose the cool aura.

Oh, shit. I was thinking about buying a Saab.

Sting went through a similar cool-uncool period but emerged from it as an tantric sex god or something.

@noodleman…Miles Davis didn’t think he was cool? FAIL.

Clinton can wear just about anything and pull it off. No, not her. Not him, either. This guy:

All you Billy Corgan haters are jurks. Every last one of you.

Sun Ra > George Clinton.

Interplanetary Funksmanship never goes out of style.

I’m not a jerk, I’m a stooge. or an idiot.

there needs to be a symbol for “cooler than” because ” > ” just doesn’t quite convey the strength of the message. I wonder if that’s something Rex could invent. Or maybe Al Gore.

@grote

Well, then I’m glad that i’m playing in an outdoor football league! Our Monday game has been canceled due to Sconnies on the prowl but the Monday after that probably won’t be any warmer.

[weep]

Miles Davis didn’t think he was cool? FAIL.

Jazz “cool” is different than rock or hipster “cool.” Miles could walk the walk.

In other news, I’m still curious how one can administer a covert pregnancy test.

See here:
http://bit.ly/1ro1Cl

In regard to this:
http://wonkette.com/411382/sketchy-private-security-force-becoming-sketchier-by-the-minute

Re: Haters of Billy Corgan

Oh, Kwatt, despite all your rage you’re still just a rat in a cage.

Time to dust off the world’s worst album covers (some NSFW)

Same for you Rat.

Any of you geezers going to see Wilco in Shitbox Arena tonight?

Billy Corgan was never cool.

Probably true. But Butch Vig was way cool.

I think any sort of cooler than symbol would have to include some sort of cigarette iconography in it.

I’m going to see Wilco. Got a free ticket. The sound is typically so bad I might as well stay at home look at a picture of Wilco and listen to some songs though a tin can and string contraption.

Speaking of not cool, Chicgao just got the boot in the first round of Oly 2016 bidding. The IOC saw through their campaign. All hype, no infrastructure.

You’re all going to die a slow rock and roll death.

I assume Roy Wilkins is ever booked at all only because there’s not another similarly sized venue in the TCs. With commercial real estate prices at an all-time low, it sounds like a business opportunity to me. Who wants to get into the concert business with me?

Re; Chicago. If Gov. Blago was still in office, it would have been in the bag, I tells ya!

kwatt…rock and roll deaths are not slow or painful. they are fast and glamorous. Die pretty.

The IOC says no to the The Machine at their risk.

also, back upthread there was discussion of some Red Pens band. Problems:

1) inevitable White Stripes and/or Black Keys references. 2 pieces, color and noun name.
2) every time I read it I see “Red Penis”

Whoever suggested to Obama that he go to Copenhagen for this IOC meeting is cowering under his desk. The phone will ring to tell him about to get a transfer. Perhaps a job as assistant ambassador to one of those countries that ends in -stan…

I occurs to me that the chick-i-faction of rock ‘n’ roll ripped the guts out of the music.

Sorry Rat, I can’t let you get away with that one. The guts of rock ‘n’ roll were ripped out by someone, probably, but is certainly was not the women of the world. This “chick-i-fication,” as you call it, gave the world Sleater-Kinney, the Patti Smith Group, Bikini Kill, the Avengers, X-Ray Spex and a million other bands which were a million times gut-ripping than, uh, Crosby, Stills and Nash or whoever.

And where are they now?

@andyst @Rat: Let’s not forget some of rock’n'roll’s early chick rockers — Big Mama Thorton, Eartha Kitt, Ruth Brown, and others — who were there at the founding.

And what would rock today be without the likes of Janis Joplin, Chrissie Hynde, Dusty Springfield, etc.?

Oh, and every male rocker had a mother, too!

Those women are rockers, I’ll give you that. The corner was turned at Exile in Guyville, I think.

And where are they now?

Why does that matter? For all practical purposes the Beatles are dead but that doesn’t diminish the value of their contributions to music.

Where is Patti Smith now? Don’t turn around, Rat! She’s standing right behind you!

Point well-taken, Noodleman. If anyone wrecked rock and roll, it’s pasty, college-educated middle-class boys, operating sometime between 1989 and 2004.

Rat doesn’t wanna be a polyster bride.

If anyone wrecked rock and roll, it’s pasty, college-educated middle-class boys, operating sometime between 1989 and 2004.  Totally true.

I am not sure I ever knew what cool music was.

spent most of highschool listening to the same stuff my parents did (stones,zeppelin,santana etc) then I graduated to the damn jam bands….damn those hippies and their corduroy patchwork. I didn’t get out of the grasp of the likes of Phish, Panic, SCI, Galactic etc till damn near 2005.

@andyst: I blame Duran Duran.

And Reagan.

I was a part of the problem, Geoff. Now I’m part of the solution! Just like your hometown boys the MC5 used to say!

until you start rocking a Rob Tyner afro and I hear you advocate for guns, dope and fucking in the streets I fail to see any parallel.

I believe that deep fried pickles are stupid and unnecessary. Just had to get that off my chest.

…rock and roll deaths are not slow or painful. they are fast and glamorous…

How do you explain Keith Richards? His death is slow, glamorous and probably feels no pain.

Wait,

…rock and roll deaths are not slow or painful. they are fast and glamorous…

How do you explain Keith Richards? His death is slow, glamorous and probably feels no pain.

Wait, maybe

…rock and roll deaths are not slow or painful. they are fast and glamorous…

How do you explain Keith Richards? His death is slow, glamorous and probably feels no pain.

Wait, maybe he’s

…rock and roll deaths are not slow or painful. they are fast and glamorous…

How do you explain Keith Richards? His death is slow, glamorous and probably feels no pain.

Wait, maybe he’s not

damn it, how did I send that mid-sentence??

Ha! Wow. I think I broke a record. Okay, my work here is done. Bye!

WHO PUTS MUSHROOMS IN VEGETABLE SOUP? IT’S NOT A VEGETABLE – IT’S A GODDAMN FUNGUS!

A GODDAMN FUNGUS that can make you trip balls.

New Executive Order from the White House Soup Czar, kevin.

Just another freedom being taken from you. You’re welcome.

You know he takes it seriously when he says “GODDAMN” and not “GODD*MN” or maybe he’s just tripping.

Deep fried pickles are unnecessary grote. I agree. I’m hungry. Who wants a pickle lunch?

Anyone bought the new banjo album from steve martin?

Is it worth my 10 bucks?

Soon enough, we’ll read about the havoc wreaked on Kwatt’s innards thanks to that G-D fungus that was probably cultivated on a pile of sh*t, literally.

I for one, love mushrooms. Just the food-grade ones though, not the poisonous or hallucinogenic kind.

Who wants a pickle lunch?

That’s what he said!

i love all edible mushrooms. nature’s best meat substitute. also, mushrooms and trolls are the underworld equivalent of unicorns and rainbows.

also, back to Jazz cool…anyone have an extra ticket for the Tortoise show @ the Cedar tonight?

To finish my comment bombing, I’ll be on Drinking With Ian tonight at First Avenue, I appear around 10:15. The show starts at 9:30. If anyone wants to go – let me know.

Drinking With Ian doors open at 8, show starts at 8:30, Mustache Rangers will hit the stage at 8:45. And, of course, DeRusha will appear around 10:15. As stated.

@Jason: Does DwI cost, or is there some kind of guest list?

@Jason: I would tweet you, Jason, but you don’t follow me.

How is it possible I don’t follow you nood? What’s your Twitter URL?

Couldn’t help but laugh….

In today’s tribute to the old Metrodome on TV: when Kirby Puckett, Jr. took down the final number representing games left in the Dome, behind it was a Target Logo! As well placed as the Nike Swoosh on a Tiger Woods putt. Oh, well. That’s the way of the world.

How is it possible I don’t follow you nood? What’s your Twitter URL?

Looks like Bixby got it to you, Jason.

(My notebook got infected with a vicious rootkit last night and my net access has been hampered. Netbooks are an okay backup but far from perfect.)

I just remembered an anniversay on Oct. 1 — it’s now been two years plus since the entire state went smokefree.

Minneapolis went smokefree on March 31, 2005, so the air in many places has been clear for even longer.

How’d you get infected with a rootkid, Noodle?

@Bixby: By tunneling too deep into the depths of the Internet, I guess. It appears to be a very nasty one, and I’m not the only one who has found their computer infected by it by the looks of what I’ve found, info-wise, on the anti-virus boards.

AVG recognizes it but can’t do anything about it.