Secrets of the City

shooting fish in a barrel.

At least a D-bag for the most part accepts what he is, its the American Apparel hipsters that really get me.

What?! There are douchebags at Drink SHUT UP I HAD NO IDEA!

I mean, at least they acknowledge that this isn’t new at all, but still. That was a lot to read about bedazzled people and the stupid stuff they say.

I bet those guys get the chicks.

If it didn’t work, they’d be trying something else.

Dumb girls need to get laid too…

…and STDs.

“Get the chicks” = “Drag drunk girls home and have sex with them after they pass out, pretend later it was a conquest.”

I…am not one of these guys.

THe assumption seems to be that d-bags are only men. Hardly. And the assumption seems to be that they can only mate if their date is drunk and/or rufied. Hardly. There are plenty of women (heareafter referred to as “chicks”) who find it exciting to go home with a backwards-hat wearing broker’s assistant in the hopes that she’ll look good riding in his car. But show no envy, non-douchebag men, always remember that arm candy loses its sweetness quickly and when left out too long begins to spoil. Add 20 years and she’s a cougar with two ex-husbands paying the bills. Thankfully, Uptown has a zone for Chicks-to-Cougars and the Douchebags they seek out in the one block radius that is Drink and Cowboy Slim’s so the rest of us can easily avoid it.

Spot on, “rickblank.”

Isn’t Vita.mn written for douchebags? Why are they alienating their readers?

A douchebag is so douchey they love reading about their own bad behavior?

The D-bag is a unique creature that is oblivious of their own d-baggery. The prevailing attitude is “Why do I hang out at these places with so many D-bags” or “Damn me and my friends are like the only non-D-Bags in this place, dude you spilled your MGD light on my Affliction”

Douchebags don’t read.

But they love all the pictures.