Secrets of the City

Early? I went to an NYE party last Saturday. The theme was obnoxious Christmas sweaters. People got drunk. A guy was asked to leave. Good times.

I’ll be safely esconced in my living room, trying to mix the perfect cocktail & discussing the conspiracy theories du jour…at some point we’ll put the kids to bed & I’ll chase wifey around the house in an effort to get her to play the newlywed game…per usual, I’ll be passed out by 11pm.

The last 2 years I’ve to Mark Mallman’s midnight show at the Entry (this year he’s playing at the Varsity on New Year’s Eve). I think 2 years ago I went to the mainroom afterwards for some dancing. It was fine–it’s not like it was the best time I’ve ever had on NYE, but it was enjoyable.

I think I’m finally old enough to realize that NYE is universally disappointing if I go in with expectations. Any night entirely predicated on the notion that people are out because they’re SUPPOSED to be having fun and partying HARD seem to spiral into awkward and often depressing evenings. The only NYEs I can remember that I truly enjoyed were when we’ve holed up in a cabin with our friends, with no need to drive anywhere, and we’ve gotten very drunk. I would also suggest the Beastie Boys’ “Root Down” as the most wonderful of all NYE midnight songs.

NYE as they say is amatuer night..
I think the better question is.. Has anyone been to a NYE Party that was wicked awesome? They all seem to be the same~ Any creative ideas?
You always have more fun when you go out get a lil cranked on some random wkend night. Cheers!

Mallman’s the only way to go on New Year’s Eve. With Brother Ali at the Varsity? Now, that’s what I call a no-brainer.

I found out that I have the 1st off, which I was unaware of, so I am looking for somewhere to drink myself silly. Mostly because I doubt the coming year will be any better.

Worst….holiday….ever.

I’ll be at home. Possibly drinking myself into a stupor while camped out in front of the Sci-Fi channel’s annual New Year’s “Twilight Zone Marathon”….making me slightly less cool than the Comic Book Store guy character from the Simpsons whose usual quote I mangled at the beginning of this post.

I’ll probably smoke a doobie too. You got a problem with that?

Go to Vegas and catch the 9pm television celebration for the folks on the east coast. Then you can go to bed for a few hours until the fireworks.

Or, you can come home with me and celebrate the 50th anniversary of my mom’s birthday.

I’m going to NYNY. We’re going to see some bands and bar crawl in Williamsburg.

May 2007 suck less than 2006….

Haven’t been to First Ave.

I don’t know if it’s already sold out or not, but I’d like to go to Brave New Workshop’s late show, followed by midnight celebratory moment, followed by improv.

I haven’t ever really been big on the NYE thing, I just thought this year I might go out. No expectations on it being “the biggest party of the year” im just looking for a decent activity, and preferably one that doesn’t involve projectile vomiting across someone’s living room.

I’ll probably smoke a doobie too. You got a problem with that? – Dizzy

Everything is illuminated!

you mean people actually do things on NYE? i always thought you were supposed to set the VCR for Dick Clark’s ball drop and then watch it in the morning. then you get on your knees and pray that this new year sucks just a little less than the one before.

aaaaand cut! Great! That was byfar the best impersonation of whiny, cynical gen-xers I’ve seen in quite some time! Now, this time, can I see even more resentment for people who enjoy fun? The air of superiority may be too slight. Just pretend to be cooler than everyone else, ESPECIALLY those who want to have so-called “good times.”

aaaaaand Action!

I’ve spent a few with my head between my legs watching my ball drop.

“I’ll probably smoke a doobie too. You got a problem with that? – Dizzy

Everything is illuminated!”

Mpls Simpleton-
your lame attempt at humor reminds me of a line from the Simpsons, from stoned-out bus driver Otto:

“Man, what am I SMOKING? Oh yeah, that’s right….pot.”

The whole “what were these people smoking?” line of argument, that posits that in order to do something stupid, one had to have been high, has always really ticked me off. Any artist (and many a writer) knows that pot might actually make you a little more creative sometimes. You should look into it, even if you are a simpleton.

the “Gen-Xer” argument is so 1991, dude.

A couple years ago I went to the Cities 97 party at the Hyatt downtown. It was pretty fun. 2 rooms with live music. And a great place to be if you’re a single guy into the Jetta girl (you know, the Cities 97 kind of girl). There were hot women EVERYWHERE. A fact my wife appreciated me noticing. Or didn’t appreciate. I don’t really remember.

Frankly, listening to the lucid ramblings of really drunk people at parties (such as NYE) more than justifies mockery of people who smoke pot. Just think you evil stoner – if you just had five shots a Jaeger, six beers, and eight glasses of champagne you could be just as smart as me!

Last year about 20 of us went to the Landmark Center’s event. We took cabs from St. Paul then hit The Otter after it. The Otter lest us cash in the drink tickets we didn’t use at the event. Awesome.

Dizzy…Weed is for kids, wannabe gangstas & aging hippies. Try some real drugs. NYE is a great time to roll on e (what isn’t??). Who’s holdin’?

Jetta girls are, by and large, hot.

Funny I have noticed that too!

Although I picture Jeanette Trompetter in a small Mercedes.

“Dizzy…Weed is for kids, wannabe gangstas & aging hippies.”

Sadly, “aging hippies” is probably closest to my demographic – how depressing.

Oh, I’ve TRIED some real drugs – luckily I’m not around them very often, or my life would probably be a shambles. Stoners can be very functional – smack addicts, on the other hand, usually not so much.

Although I picture Jeanette Trompetter in a small Mercedes.

The only thing that gets me more excited than this thought is when people post statute in their comments. Actually, maybe it’s even.

The annual Scrimshaw Show at the Bryant Lake Bowl! There’s two shows, one at 7 p.m., one at 10:30 p.m.. There’s complimentary champagne and party favors at both shows, it’s damn fine comedy, and I have yet to be disappointed in spending some of my New Year’s evening with the boys.

If you have yet to see any of the comedians mentioned in the following blurb, you should. We’re lucky to be in the same town with these people.

-Featuring special guest DC Comics Artist Chris Jones challenging the
Scrimshaws to an Iron Artist literal quick draw competition!
-Special comedy guests Shanan Wexler, Tim Uren and Dan Hetzel!
-The naughty dance of Hidden Pudenda!
-The naughtier music of Pablo!
-And of course, more smart, manic comedy (City Pages) than you can shake a Scrimshaw at!

http://www.scrimshawbrothers.com/

This NYE will be my 12th year in a row at the Cities 97 party at the Hyatt.

And as a single guy I look forward to it every year.

Dizzy…Weed is for kids, wannabe gangstas & aging hippies. Try some real drugs. NYE is a great time to roll on e (what isn’t??). Who’s holdin’?

Eh, weed is for kids?

did you purchase your glowing light sticks and pacifiers yet?

I always leave town for NYE.
It helps me forget stuff.

Last year was Denver, this year San Diego.

I will be searching for available make-out partners at the Mallman show – those selected can come to this private lingerie NYE after party I’m going to hit. Can anyone recommend talented and sexy strippers to hire? I’m new at this and want to find one that probably exfoliates.

Now I’ll betcha the Mallman show will be rife with lonely MN-Speak stalkermen seeking Gretchen. Nice work. That gives a whole new meaning to trolling.

I went to the Mallman show last year with Melodious Owl. It was a good show. It wasn’t the best NYE ever, but it was far from the worst I’ve ever had. I might try to catch Mallman this year again. As for the rest of 1st Ave, from what I could tell, it sucked.

is it too late to make the obvious joke about Jetta girls being like the vehicles they own?

(nice to look at, but common and high maintenence)

Eagles Club, 2507 E. 25th St., Mpls.
Willie Murphy plus band, R&B, Funk, Rock
Like really good R&B (remember Willie and the Bees?)
Plenty of room to dance.
Champagne at midnight and some free food (at least there was last year)
$12 advance, $15 at the door

NEW YEAR’S EVE GALA CELEBRATING VINTAGE LAS VEGAS
Date: Sunday, December 31, 2006
Time: Prix Fixe Dinner at 6:00 pm; Gala Opens at 8:00 p
Location: St. Anthony Main Event Centre 219 SE Main Street Minneapolis, MN 55414 (612) 874-0880

Vintage Vegas Celebrating the Timeless Glamour of Vintage Vegas at this Black Tie Affair. Featuring Live Performances Psychic Readings VIP lounges Texas Hold ‘em tournament, and Four-Course Dinner and Wine Pairing Keep watching for more details to come…

Gala Featuring:
Live Performances by Stockcar Named Desire
Psychic Readings
Incredible Drink Specials All Night
Gaming Tables and Karaoke
The Best Fireworks in the Twin Cities
Complimentary Moscato d’Asti Toast at Midnight
Prix Fixe Dinner with Wine Pairings featuring:

A Five-Course Dinner
Wine Pairings at each Course
Live Acoustical Jazz Music
Gala Tickets are $65 each, but order before December 15th and get them for only $50 each!!

Parking: You can choose to park in
either the ramp on the north side of
2nd Avenue or the surface lot on
the south side of 2nd Avenue. The
surface lot has a prepay slot for you
to use credit cards or cash. The fee
for the parking ramp varies, but it is
very reasonable.
http://threesonskitchen.com/events
- Click link to order tickets.
Event fee:
USD50.00 per person

Love that Jetta girl / car comparison!

Never too late for that kind of comedy, too late.

And bixby: love your profile.

Fuck you, old people!!!!111

Here’s an excerpt from our most recent bi-weekly mailing, just the portion focusing on the events of NYE 2006/2007. I hope this is helpful.

(BTW, you can order tickets for any of these events on our website or feel free to give us a call at (888) 690-9875 and we’ll take your order over the phone.)

###############################
NEW YEAR’S EVE EVENTS 2006/2007
###############################

NEW YEAR’S EVE @ THE TURF CLUB
WITH SEAN NA NA + SEAWHORES + SPIDER FIGHTER + THE EVENING RIG

Sean Na Na returns to the stage in the Twin Cities fresh off of playing two sold out main room shows during their tour with The Hold Steady in October. Local hero Sean Tillman (aka Har Mar Superstar in another life) revisits his old stomping grounds in the Midway area of Saint Paul in what will surely make this New Year’s Eve memorable and probably a little bit over the top. Friendly familiar faces, laid back Turf Club atmosphere and the best party in Saint Paul make this show a no-brainer.

[The Turf Club]
December 31, 2006 (Sunday)
9 PM | $10.00 | 21+

—

CRYSTAL BALL NEW YEAR’S EVE 2006
WITH OVATION + THE NEW CONGRESS + BRIAN DAVID + CAPITAL SONS
PLUS 3 DJs, FASHION SHOW, ART GALLERY AND MUCH MORE

Last year’s most glamorous party, the Crystal Ball, returns for New Year’s Eve 2006 at International Market Square! This year features extra bars (no waiting for drinks), 3 rooms on 2 levels of the venue and tons of awesome entertainment including 4 Bands, 3 DJ’s, a four part fashion show, an Art Gallery, Dance Room and much more!!! VIP tickets are available for options including all-inclusive open bar and valet parking, hors d’oeuvres buffet, balcony seating, champagne toast at midnight and much more.

Headlining in the main room is Ovation, led by Tom Chase who had worked with Prince as his double in the movie Purple Rain and has formed this band as a tribute to the music of the movie. He will be performing the ENTIRE album “PURPLE RAIN” live!

[International Market Square]
December 31, 2006 (Sunday)
8 PM | $40.00 / $100.00 (VIP) / $200.00 (VIP) | 21+

—

NEW YEAR’S EVE @ THE VARSITY
WITH MARK MALLMAN + VICIOUS VICIOUS + SOLID GOLD + DJ JAKE RUDH

Mark Mallman moves his legendary New Year’s Eve event to the Varsity Theater this year and asks some good friends to join him in the fun. Vicious Vicious will be making a relatively rare appearance and DJ Jake Rudh will be providing the evening’s soundtrack. In a interesting twist, the Varsity has decided to open this night to all attendees who are 18 and up, which makes this one of the few options for the 18-20 crowd on New Year’s Eve. And what a great option it is, ringing in the Midnight hour with the mad genius of Mr. Mallman himself.

[The Varsity Theater]
December 31, 2006 (Sunday)
8 PM | $10.00 | 18+

—

NEW YEAR’S EVE @ THE NOMAD
WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE + SO IT GOES + THE TV SOUND + MERCURIAL RAGE

The Nomad is going all out this year with a great lineup of bands who have brought the party all year long and are now combining forces to put this one over the top. Like the super twins (but twice as nice), four great bands to help you ring in the new year plus a complimentary Champagne toast at midnight! Go mad at the Nomad!

[Nomad World Pub]
December 31, 2006 (Sunday)
8 PM | $7.00 | 21+

—

NEW YEAR’S EVE @ O’GARA’S
WITH G.B. LEIGHTON + LOVE SONGS FOR ANGRY MEN + THE CAREYS

Enjoy New Year’s Eve with the sensational GB Leighton, Love Songs For Angry Men and The Careys! VIP ticket options are available for a package which includes an early VIP Show featuring GB Leighton performing an Acoustic Show “In The Round”, open bar, appetizers and of course admission to the later show as well. The early show (from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm) will feature GB Leighton in an intimate “Storytellers” style atmosphere where you can enjoy an up close personal set with them taking your requests! And, of course, free party favors and champagne at midnight!

[O'Gara's Bar & Grill]
December 31, 2006 (Sunday)
9 PM | $25.00 / $70.00 (VIP) | 21+

—

And that’s the wrap-up for New Year’s Eve. We hope to see you out at one or more of these shows. If you run into us, please say hello.

And of course the Triple Rock has their kick ass show. Here’s the description from their website:

NEW YEARS AT THE TRIPLE ROCK!!! FREE SHOW !!! FEATURING…
TOYS THAT KILL (SAN PEDRO, CA…EX FYP)
SUPERHOPPER (ST. PAUL HEART-THROBS)
THE GODDAMN DOO WOP BAND (ROCK OUT LIKE IT’S THE EISENHOWER ERA ALL OVER AGAIN!)
THE STRAIGHT A’S
THE FUCK YEAHS

THIS SHOW IS SO KICKASS, WE COULD CHARGE MONEY FOR IT…BUT WE’RE NOT! FREE ROCK FOR THE PEOPLE!

8 PM | FREE | 21+

God the sheer hipness of it all is mind numbing…

Rock on, white belters!