Secrets of the City

I feel bad for diehard Vikes fans that think they have a chance. Thankfully, my beloved Detroit Lions never give me a reason to get my hopes up. With the minor exception of 1991, they haven’t given me anything but comedic relief for the 25 years that I’ve followed them.

Admittedly, I’m not a Vikings fan, but I’m quite impressed with the team this year. The press reports about thuggery are down, and their defense shows a lot of potential. They just have to keep improving.

It’s bad to be up but trending down (the Vikings of the last few seasons). It’s good to be down but trending up (these Vikings).

I like it when they lose. I feel bad, because I generally root for everything Minnesota, but I can’t help it. And it’s not even that I don’t like football. I just can’t get my self to like the Vikes.

It’s not that they suck, it’s that fans have unreasonable expectations.

umm yeah, that’s what people say when their team sucks.

It’s not that they suck, it’s that they are really good at not winning.

It’s not that they suck, it’s that fans have unreasonable expectations.

umm yeah, that’s what people say when their team sucks.

I was wondering why I was hearing that phrase echoing across the St Croix from Wisconsin for the last couple of months.

After years of losing, the only thing that pisses off Vikings fans is the fact that the Childress game plan is one of offensive futility. As much as they control the ball, they can’t seem to do a god damn thing with it.

The Vikings do have a chance. They have a new owner. That owner wants a new STADIUM. Putting out losing teams and having thugs for players is not going to get it done.

The Lions have a new stadium. AND the same old Ford family. Detroit is the only place in America where Matt Millen and his gaudy 23-70 record would continue to draw a paycheck.

Well duh! Look at the Love Boat scandal a year ago. Maybe that’s why people are ticked off by them.

the boat scandal is the only reason that I like the vikings

I always root against the Vikes. It’s a lot of fun to see them invent new ways to lose and to watch Childress cover his mouth with that laminated playbook (some call it a Perkin’s Menu). I love how Childress tries to employ mindless gamesmanship by not announcing who his QB will be in an effort to catch the other team off-guard (seriously, do we need to use these tactics in order to beat the Lions??). I enjoy watching the football bounce off of their wide receivers’ helmets. I enjoy the soap opera much more than actually watching them play. The boat scandal was a riot.

I like to pick teams that are doing great and adopt them as my favorite team. The Patriots have been my fave team for a few years now, because they’re a brilliantly coached team with a QB who means business and a whole lot of unselfish players who understand the team concept real well(strangely they just got beat 21-0 by the freaking Dolphins, but I bet they’ll be there when the chips are down in the play-offs).

I also love the Bears, Chargers and Saints. Now those teams are fun to watch!

Da Bears rule.

Vikings are simply a sad excuse for an NFL franchise.

Their fans are drunken neanderthals. And their male fans are idiots, too.

I hated the St Louis Cardinals until October. Now I love them.
I used to love the Texas Longhorns, now, I love the Ohio St. Buckeyes.
I hate the Cubs and I hate the Blackhawks
I love Florida Gator basketball
I love the Miami Heat
I used to love the Wisconsin hockey team , now I love the Minnesota hockey team.
I love the Colorado ski team
I love Minnesota wrestling
I loved Warren Buffet, now I love Bill Gates
I love the Carolina Hurricanes
I used to love the Pittsburgh Steelers, now i love the Baltimore Ravens.
I used to love Kevin Mc hale the basketball player, but i hate Kevin the slacker the GM.

Now I can talk smack to rest of the world.

until futher notice.

The Vikings were supposed to be one of the original AFL teams in 1960, but the team’s owners left the AFL in the lurch when a chance to join the NFL came along.

That’s why they’ve never won a championship — Lamar Hunt (RIP) put a hex on them for jilting the AFL. It’s right up there with the Cubs’ goat thing among sports-team curses.