Secrets of the City

Congratulations!

Don’t let the cynics fool you; being married is awesomely outrageous.

This is one of the last places I would want to live if I were single….you have chosen wisely.

And remember an important lesson…The fun times don’t have to end just because you’re married.

Hey! Congratulations! I’m not married, but I think weddings are the best reason to party. Have a ton of fun with the guests – they’ll appreciate it.

My wife and I just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. It’s been wonderful. Watch out for neighbors who will start pressuring you, “When are you going to have kids?” We were married for years before we had a son. Enjoy each other. Travel. Unless this is a shotgun wedding. In which case, enjoy your bastard child. (I joke!)

In Minnesota the divorce rate is among the lowest in the nation! 2.8 divorces for every 1,000 married people. 47th lowest!

After having the wedding, you quickly realize how boring it is to hear about people’s weddings. Congrats.

When you’re married to a Minnesotan, you quickly realize what passive aggressive sex talk is.

Congrats Aaron!

I’m getting married next weekend, and I just hope we have decent weather!

In Minnesota the divorce rate is among the lowest in the nation! 2.8 divorces for every 1,000 married people. 47th lowest!

Yes, it’s nice to know that, as a recent divorcee, I have been reduced to a statistic. Ahsum. I would only recommend marriage if you can guarantee you’ll never be divorced. And never EVER change your name. /moral of the story

Mazel tov! My congratulations, Aaron (you too, Moe!). Just Plain Bob has been married to Mrs. JPB for 23 years, and I have never been more happy. I wish you and yours the same. Jason is right — married life is great.

We adopted our first this year — a beagle-Jack Russel mix — and we couldn’t be happier.

May blessings flow upon your new life together.

Congrats… I’ve been married three years and love it. Remember date night, go out once a week and forget the house, bills etc (kids). Enjoy, and one last thing. Have some food in the room for after the wedding. The bride and groom never get to eat at the wedding and ordering pizza at 2am is just a mood breaker:)

I’m divorced. And bitter. Good luck.

I would only recommend marriage if you can guarantee you’ll never be divorced.

I think the wisest piece of advice I ever received was this: Never marry someone that you wouldn’t want to get divorced from. If you can realistically envision that any divorce from that person would be nasty, avoid getting married. Everyone I’ve met who is divorced agrees with that.

I am getting married in May. I am pretty stoked. I truly did not want to get sucked into the wedding planning vortex, but I am weakening and I fear it’s pull will overcome me.

I keep chanting, “It’s just a party, it’s just 1 day of your life, it’s just a party, it’s just 1 day of your life.”

Well here’s some advice: If you can’t envision yourself or your spouse keeping your wedding vows, don’t get married. Contrary to the fraudulent post above, tatemani’s been married to the same chick for 36 years.

Just remember to give your toilet seat hugs nightly and to always put down the husband.

Being married is awesome! Today was my 3rd wedding anniversary!

Wow. 36 years of self hate, bad sex, and bigotry.

Please give that chick my sympathies…and my phone number!

You’re a fool, marriage is a scam, any guy who voluntarily signs up for a life of exploitation, slavery and abuse is out of his freakin’ mind. The rest of your life will be filled with taking care of other people’s fuck-ups and you will never know peace and quiet again, and there’s a one-in-five chance that the womb droppings won’t even be yours.

tatemani: one of the great advantages of being registered is that nobody can spoof your independent-minded views.

I met the girl who is now Haley Champion on 6/3/03, and after exactly three years and three months, we were married on 9/3/06. As a duo, we’re tighter than Hall & Oates. We got the cover art and track list worked out, so these days we’re just working out the tunes.

marriage tip: don’t marry “two-time loser”

Congrats. I’m not married, so I’ll offer no advice…

Uh, I’m still available.

Must support concealed carry, though.

(Hi, Carrie!)

what it’s like to be a married Minnesotan?

like being in your early twenties.

being a married minnesotan will get you invited to more potlucks, which means you would do well to hone your cooking skills. good cook = more potlucks. more potlucks = more fun in the winter. more fun in the winter = happier outlook on life.

I love potlucks. When is the mnspeak potluck?

Have two things totally figured out between each other before you walk down that aisle:

1. Money

2. Kids

It never ceases to amaze me how many of my friends (or people I just hear about) are popping the question and planning weddings with only a vague idea about having kids. “Oh, maybe someday” or “we’ll get a dog first” or “I want kids, but she’s not sure,” “maybe in a couple of years” are NOT acceptable. Either you BOTH do or your BOTH don’t. Set that shit in STONE before you take the vows.

Money is the dumbest thing to fight about with anyone, anywhere, ever. So make sure you’re both solid on that too, who’s got what, who’s gonna pay what, who makes what, how do we spend it, who’s gonna be in charge. No secrets. Your credit ratings are practically shared once you sign the marriage certificate. No bullshitting around.

My last piece of advice is DON’T buy into/fall victim to the wedding industry saying you have to have some multi-thousand dollar day with centerpieces and bubbles and dollar dances. It’s such a waste of money, and really only serves the purpose of forcing your friends and family to spend money they likely don’t have, and NOT be themselves. We took a day off work and went to the courthouse, had dinner at our favorite Chinese joint after, and celebrated with a dinner party at home with only close friends and family a few months later. We blew money on our honeymoon trip to Europe, not on a groom’s dinner or white satin shoes.

If your betrothed is insisting on all the ridiculous fairy tale wedding crap I would have serious reservations about marrying her.

Being married is so good. For me, the love and security to love without reservation is the best thing that ever happened to me… I know this isn’t the case for some couples, but if you are one of the lucky ones…. congrats!!!

I just got married on August 26th, and it was the best day of my life. Oh, wait. Maybe I mean the most expensive. I think it was both.

I better stay out of this. I don’t have many positive things to say about this one.

Wait! acalhoun is getting married?

My timing is always so terrible!

(Calls jewerly store to find out about returning engagement ring.)

Congratulations. If you are half as happy as I am, you’ll be great. Don’t have any children, though. Especially ones that run web sites.

Marriage=pro.

Children, aka womb droppings=con.

Congratulations. My only bit of advice is to arrange your finances in such a way that whatever each of you spends money on doesn’t irritate the other person. My bride and I each have our own accounts and we have set up a joint account for common bills. We each pay in an equal amount to cover the bills and a like amount into savings. When the bride buys $400 shoes it’s on her dime. Likewise on my irrational spending

funny stuff here

All I ask is that you remember all your gay friends in commited long term relationships that don’t have the chance to enjoy a wedding or the other 1000+ legal benefits of marriage.

Do you have matching green eyeshades too?

Definitely, Simpleton. My wife gave our priest specific directions not to go off on any kind of anti-gay marriage screed. We’d seen a minister nearly ruin my cousin’s wedding with a similar rant, and we were NOT interested in offending our gay friends who were good enough to stand up for us.

More advice: shop for cheaper insurance.

Marriage is a sickness. I can’t think of a worse idea.

Just sayin’.

Just in case…wedding day emergency kit.

I wish everyone could get married.

Nuptials are great parties, and love is a cool thing to celebrate, but after growing up very cynical about it and never desiring a marriage scenario for my own life –realizing that it’s not even a legal option for me now that I’m older and in a ten year-long love affair with my best friend and partner kinda bums me out. It’d be cool to declare our love in front of everyone, and to participate in some of the cheesey rituals. We are married, as far as we’re concerned. But the legal issue is a crock of shit. I’ve seen a lot more bad marriages than good in my life, but I’d put my long-term lesbian relationship in first place among the most stable, loving, synergistic and successful ones of all.
The people who say marriage ought to be only between one man and one woman are so ignorant and mean. I feel sorry for them.

How about any married MNSpeakers share what it’s like to be a married Minnesotan?

Welcome to the club, such as it is. Unfortunately in Minnesota it is still an exclusive club, but once we get rid of the Michelle Bachman types we hope to make it more inclusive. One thing you’ll notice (or you may have already; I don’t know how old you are) is that past a certain age (approximately 22), nearly EVERY Minnesotan is married.

I grew up in Minnesota, then lived away for many years, and have been back for 14 years. I was too young when I left to know or care that there seems to be a requirement in Minnesota to get married by the time you can legally drink alcohol (maybe these things are related?). In other parts of the US, I had many single friends in their 20s and 30s. Here, not so much. Divorced people seem to jump right back in, and anyone caught single over the age of 25 is assumed to be either gay or insane. (For the record, I’m only one of those two things.)

Anyway, congratulations and good luck. Now you look like everyone else.

“what it’s like to be a married Minnesotan?“

It’s very similar to being a married Iowan, but you’re further North.

I was too young when I left to know or care that there seems to be a requirement in Minnesota to get married by the time you can legally drink alcohol (maybe these things are related?). In other parts of the US, I had many single friends in their 20s and 30s. Here, not so much.

Do you think this is still true? I feel like in my little life in Minneapolis it is not as true anymore. I just got engaged to a fellow never-been-married Twin Cities native and I am 27 and he is 35. I do not have any friends who were married before age 25, most were married at age 30.

How old are you other getting married MNspeakers?

I know of people who live in more rural areas or who have less schooling who were married young.

I wonder what the stats really are.

Sorry for not responding sooner. I’ve been busy. Thanks for all the advice. I don’t think I’m “signing up for slavery” as one fellow put it. I am proud of my inclination.

And I certainly will remember those who are legally unable to marry. It’s a shame that the Christian Right’s own hang ups are projected onto the populace. It’s also a shame that Democrats in tough districts tend to get wishy-washy on the issue (Wetterling, *cough*).

We aren’t really into kids (certainly not of our own biology), but maybe down the road this sentiment could change. We’re both 24 now and couldn’t fathom dealing with children until at least 30. If we are to adopt, we’ll need to be more financially sound, which is a status we will likely hold later and certainly not sooner.

30 is the new 21.

Let me comment on your assertion that it’s the Christian Right that’s keeping gay people from getting married. I realize that democrats like to use this as convenient cover for their politicians who also oppose gay marriage … and the fact is they need that cover because a majority of people who call themselves democrats oppose gay marriage.

Were you people just born yesterday? You act as if gay marriage has always been the norm and now, right wing politicians are taking it away! Gay marriage hasn’t been the law since the beginning of civilized man, from what I can tell, so quit pretending that it’s something that’s been taken away. You’re scaring the children.

Look, I’m not a member of the christian right and I know and have known gay couples, both as friends and family. The gay couples I know have experienced legal inconveniences regarding shared property ownership and the sad and humilating incident of not being able to visit a dying partner in the hospital because the rule says “family only.” It sucks.

But those things can be remedied by changes in the law and hospital procedure. It doesn’t translate into overturning the centuries-old tradition of marriage being between a man and a woman. Smart gay people will lobby to create legal domestic partnership that eliminate the problems they have in these situations. But the more the gay marriage movement pushes that agenda, the more people will push back … and it’s not just the christian right but self-described democrats too. At least they’re democrats today. Tomorrow they may be new republicans.

Another political science lesson I shouldn’t have shared with you.

I am afraid of change.

You can come out of the closet now max. We won’t mind. Because, well, we already know.

ps: max, call me. please?

Or republicans might find themselves once again on the wrong side of a historic inevitability, as they did with civil rights. According to my data, it’s mostly old people who are opposed to gay marriage — young people overwhelmingly don’t really mind the idea. And you know what old people do.

They die.

Old people and Michelle Bachmann. (why o why is gay marriage so g-damned important to that woman??? What’s with the obsession?)

Well, you know, I think it’s because she’s a decent christian woman.

Yes, generally speaking, decency is lost on liberals.

Michelle Bachman raised 23 foster children.

The woman radiates decency and credibility.

Those that would disparage her should be ashamed of themselves.

This from MnSpeak most egregious pig! Have you no sense of irony?

See previous post.

Case closed.

“LOVED your “mental illness” screed, btw.)

Well, you would, lunatic.

“BWaaaaaaaaaaaaah, don’t shoot the criminal who is tryting to take away the cop’s gun…he has “mental illness”…bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

No wonder you like wooden puppets.

Now, liberalism, THERE’s a mental disease you may want to learn more about!

My puppet happens to be made from plexiglass.

Fiberglass, rather.

Cool.

My wood is also made of fiberglass.

Uh, tmi.

I love how these bizarro freepers who love to troll MNSpeak can somehow try to blame liberals for gay marriage not being legal.

buh-wha?

I’m about to get remarried to the real “ONE” and it’ll be worth it!
Don’t give up just because it didn’t work out the first time.