Secrets of the City

Those cities say “where the fuck am I?” and “Why is it so lonely out here? so … very … lonely ….”

And let the outstate bashing begin.

Is this the first thread ever with no embedded link?

hey I’m equal opportunity: I bash rural/nowhere places in every state where I’ve lived! and even a few where I haven’t!

also please say “St. Hotdish” is a real place??

Bemidji says, “Don’t be caught DWI: Driving While Indian.”

It also says, “Now that the snow’s melted, the whole town smells like dogshit left by the strays.”

Duluth – Bring a sweatshirt

Embarrass – Wear a sweatshirt

And it’s spelled Moorhead, but way to tee it up.

Since it’s teed up…

Moorhead — “I’m not as slutty as I sound…except maybe on campus.”

I lived in Mankato for nearly five years. Nice place. It told me two things.

“We don’t understand urban planning.” and “Go to the cities.”

Afton: “Stay the F**K out!”

Hey, what about me? You always forget me.

right on, Kevin. i grew up in Mankato. and that is absolutely what that city says, over and over and over again. such a beautiful place, so brilliantly fucked up.

Moorhead: We’re next to Fargo.

And let the outstate bashing begin.

Oh, I’ll bash you right off the bat: It’s more correct to call it “greater Minnesota” rather than “outstate Minnesota.” Have some politeness, will ya?

Please forgive me, “greater Minnesota.” (Moorhead spelling corrected.)

Thanks, Matt. Freudian slip I guess.

Moorhead: Party college. Dumpy border town that Fargo kicks around.

Greater is capitalized. Greater Minnesota.

Hans, Mankato – what’s with that whole area out by River Hills Mall? the whole are north and east of MSU looks like it was laid out by four year olds.

But seriously, is St. Hotdish a real place?

Bemidji – Come for the REAL Paul Bunyan statue, stay for the Corner Bar Burgers.

kevin, it’s everywhere. i was thinking more of the downtown/west corridor, but yes–it’s like the city tries to start over every ten years, and find a new patch of undeveloped land, where they proceed to hire whoever flunked MSU’s civic planning course most recently. i swear, it started in “Old Town” and worked in every direction. Never was there a more impressive resume of failure– a whole century’s worth of bad ideas brought to bitter fruition. (”Mankato Mall,” the dike system, River Front Drive, Riverview Hills all just being the most recent debacles.)

my friends in North Mankato used to joke that their town was there first, their “downtown” has stayed in one place, and it was called simply “North.”

And on the Mankato thing…ever tried to turn left to get to the Best Buy on a weekend? Not. Going. To. Happen. It’s almost as bad as Sioux Falls’ entire main drag.

Worthington says nothing, it just watches with teary eyes you zip past on I-90.

Then it spends the rest of its day trying to figure out how to keep those annoying ass clowns from Fulda out…

Once again, I’m agreeing with KfM. “What’s Up!” with that?

Did you ever have that feeling where you think: “What the fuck, why didn’t anyone tell me about this before?” I was a shade nervous about moving to Minneapolis from Mankato. I lived on Riverfront Drive in Old Town, right between The Still and The Oleander for nearly two years of my life that I’ll never get back.

That city deserves every one of the criticisms leveled at it and then some. I’d like to slam the city’s nightlife, which includes some awful university-area joints, “Barmuda”, the brighter-than-daylight BW-3 (maybe they’re Buffalo Wild Wings now, too), then you’ve got Mac’s, plus the grill-and-bar scene all along the Madison strip. The only place(s) worth patronizing there are Jazz Club, and maybe Blue Bricks. I barely remember the latter, since I’ve only been there once, they opened after I moved out, and I was quite drunk by the time I’d arrived there. The only thing I remember with certainty is that they served beer from the Mantorville Brewing Company, which was run by a friend’s brother at the time.

Speaking of obscure local beers, is St. Croix Maple Ale around anymore?

Ever notice how people from towns call them “cities” and people from cities call them “towns?”

Duluth says come up for a weekend and enjoy unmatched views of Lake Superior, the lakewalk, the Aerial Lift Bridge, and many other things, Plus enjoy a weekend away from the traffic problems and hectic life in the Cities.

Actually, the few times I’ve partied in Mankato I don’t actually remember partying in Mankato the following day.

Can we just turn this into a thread about Kato?
I’m still not over the loss of Hamburger Heaven.

Is this the first thread ever with no embedded link?

This isn’t the first post without a link — MNSpeak2.0 apparently got rid of the link requirement.

And after thinking about it, Minneapolis says, “I know you, so you must not be too important.”

Duluth doesn’t say anything, they just hang out up there, chillin’ and doing their own thing. And that’s why they’re cool.

Mankato– Smart small town
Duluth– We’ve actually got a good music scene and everyone knows your name.
Embarrass– You think you’re cold now?
Moorhead– Fargo’s spooning partner for over 150 years.
Bemidji– Curling Capital of the World
Worthington– Where am I?
St. Hotdish– St. Hotdish.

Duluth tells me that being away from “the cities” can be pretty hip and cool. Wi-fi is there if i need it – and the North Shore is right there WHEN i need it. [map]

hamburger heaven?! old school=hilltop tavern. and yes, the loss still cuts to the quick.

convention grill is a weak but reminiscent proxy.

Duluth has made some sort of major transformation over the past decade. I think it says: “Oh, you city people think you’re so authentic and unpretentious…until you’ve visited Duluth.”

I get up there nearly every weekend in the summer on the way up to the big lake, and I’ll tell ya, Duluth’s got it going on. Great beers at Sir Benedicts. The best “drop in” view coming down the hill on 35. A good local alt-paper. Pizza Luce. One of my favorite all-time restaurants, The New Scenic Cafe. And a surpringly good music scene. It’s all there, with the best outdoor enthusiast playground right out your back door. Like Boulder without the traffic.

Andrew – Actually, a thread about ‘Kato wouldn’t be a terrible idea.

It’d be kinda cool if, every so often, there was an open thread about a specific city in Greater Minnesota (Duluth, Mankato, etc…) where people could share what they know about people and places. I’m willing to bet there are a lot of us who visit some of these places more than we admit. Wouldn’t it be great, the next time you’re swinging through, you can hit up some hidden local gem that you found out about right here?

Man, I forgot it was called Hilltop Tavern. Drinking Root Beer out of Ball Jars, I sure miss that. Lewis is gone too. They had a rockin’ candy selection and we used to swap price tags on merchandise in the basement toy department. 99 cents for a huge set of Legos? What a deal! There’s a sports bar there now, I think. Soooo many damn sports bars in Kato now.

Oh, I’m proud to admit I visit International Falls all the time to see family. Somebody could write a great novel about that place.

As a former Mankato resident, I assure you that sleepy St. Peter has a lot more going for it.

Rochester says, “I’ll anesthetize you before you know what’s happening. Also, I eat babies.”

Don’t forget, Rochester would claim a clinic worth more than all of South Dakota.

Minneapolis says “I’m world-class” as other cities snicker openly.

Saint Paul starts to say “Back in the day…” but stops when it realizes that no one is there to listen.

>>Is this the first thread ever with no embedded link?

>This isn’t the first post without a link — MNSpeak2.0 apparently got rid of the link requirement.

Yes, we must not forget the Red’s Savoy Pizza Post Controversy here on mnspeak. We must not.

Downtown St. Paul after 6PM is best known as a place where the blind can jaywalk with impunity.

To me, Duluth says, “I’d love to love you in the summer, but just try to navigate my voluptous icy curves in the winter and I’ll kill you.”

As a sidenote, I love how people from the Twin Cities are always so astounded that there could actually be quality music, art, and/or atmospheres outside the metro area.

Moorhead says to me, “Please tell me another “more head” joke. I love them, and they’re always so original.”

I also think we should talk about Red Wing. It has a Menards now, you know. And a Target. Plus the drummer of Husker Du now lives there, but don’t ask me how I know that.

Red Wing– We’re pretty and we’ve got a lot of good trout fishing nearby.

Might sound boring, but I’m saying it as a compliment.

I grew up in St. Paul and lived in Mankato for about five years. I thought St. Paul was the most poorly laid out city in the world until I lived there. I still got “lost” about once a month when my time was almost up there. It seemed like them re-routing streets for stadiums, Old Navies, etc. “up the hill”, as we called it, was somehow affecting road travel in the downtown area, I could never understand it.

“Red Wing– We’re pretty and we’ve got a lot of good trout fishing nearby”.

Let’s not overestimate the value of the trout fishing. It’s better in, ahem, Wisconsin.

Everybody knows that Greg Norton (actually the bassist) from Hüsker Dü has a restaurant or two down there. My friends and I actually made a point of going to the Stag Head for lunch when we were camping at Frontenac, and had the good fortune of seeing him, in all his handlebar-mustachioed glory. The blackened chicken sandwich was pretty damn good, too — and I washed it down with the ever-so-rare Summit IPA *on tap*.

Oh, EVERYBODY knows that, huh, Champs? Well, apparently I didn’t, since I didn’t know it was the “bassist” and not the drummer, probably because I always hated Husker Du (that’s right. I said it) and therefore just didn’t care all that much.

But I did know about the Stag Head, probably because I grew up in Red Wing and thus went there way before it was ever cool, which would also mean I was going there way before you ever did. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Love ya!

Yours, etc.,
Amber

Wow.

Minneapolis says “Hey, look at ME! I’m really a big important city like New York or Chicago! Puuuhhlleeze believe me, I am, really! Huh? Aren’t I? I’m not? Why can’t I be?” Uh huh, while other cities snicker openly.

Minneapolis says “Hey, look at ME! I’m really a big important city like New York or Chicago! Puuuhhlleeze believe me, I am, really! Huh? Aren’t I? I’m not? Why can’t I be?” Uh huh, while other cities snicker openly.

What’s your point clicker? Does it make you feel better to knock Mpls with ridiculous statements like we actually think we’re big like New York and Chicago? Has Mpls alienated you that much? Dork.

Oh my god. I’m responding to a trout fishing flame.

I have found no evidence that Trout fishing is better in WI. I just fished Hay Creek near Red Wing last week. And I have to say that driving further south to fish – say the Whitewater or Trout run is better. Both of those rivers have treated me much more kindly than the Rush or the Kinny (in WI). And they’re less crowded.

MnSpeak: Oh my god. I’m responding to a trout fishing flame.

right now, MN Speak is telling me they don’t have a good spam filter. make it stop?

i don’t think anyone argues that Minneapolis is a New York or a San Francisco or even a Chicago, although while I love Chi-town (I mean love it), I’ll take the Minneapolis arts scene anyday. What does bother me is how peeps in those other cities literally think nothing is here. I took a pre-opening tour of the new Guthrie on Thursday, and with its 11 (count them…) public, non-ticket holding bars, I’ll put it up against MOMA/SF anyday.

Let the hipster bashing begin… Hey, at least I called it!!!! Like a sweet-ass bank shot.

Big cities…Chicago, NY, SF…all nice places to visit, but to live…I’ll take Minneapolis any day.

…although I’d even like Minitropolis better if we had a few mountains and possibly an ocean (while still having 10,000 lakes)…

…in a perfect world I guess…

Everybody knows that Greg Norton (actually the bassist) from Hüsker Dü has a restaurant or two down there. My friends and I actually made a point of going to the Stag Head for lunch when we were camping at Frontenac, and had the good fortune of seeing him, in all his handlebar-mustachioed glory. The blackened chicken sandwich was pretty damn good, too — and I washed it down with the ever-so-rare Summit IPA *on tap*.

first of all, Champs, could you be more of a pretentious douche? So you saw a guy who used to be in a band who now owns a restaurant, so what.? You’re one of those people who goes to those places and says things like “oh, this is so quaint” or “isn’t this just Americana?” causing me to want to vomit.

You’re an idiot.

we’re on track to have an ocean sometime around 2150. Stick around! And buy real estate somewhere around Afton.

Hey Pat…chill pill. not sure what champs did other than assume we all know who greg norton is. i know him: that skinny dude on Honeymooners who sings “Masochism World“. Duh!!!!!

No. Seriously. You pounced. Like a hopped up cheetah.

Do you know that a cheeta takes half an hour to catch its breath after running? A half-hour!

that means Pat has four minutes to unleash his next fury upon Champs.

Brace yourself, brother….

Afton eeh…thanks for the tip.

Now I just have to find the fountain of youth, where to begin…

Besides, douche is a hygenic product, so it’s like a compliment.

Besides, douche is a hygenic product, so it’s like a compliment.

I feel fresh as a summer’s eve now.

But I will give Pat props for calling that comment as he – and I – saw it.

For fuck’s sake, there’s no reason to go ad hominem. As a Huskers fan, camper, picky eater, and a beer snob, it was awesome to see Greg Norton, get a good sit-down dinner, and wash it down with the excellent-but-unpopular Summit IPA, which is hard to find in the Twin Cities proper, let alone outside the metro.

daytona beach, spring break 1984: my husband told some chick he was in hüsker dü (he was wearing their t-shirt) and she was so impressed she put out right away.

best story ever. especially since in ‘84 my husband looked more like robert smith than anyone in hüsker dü.

just thought i’d share. i’m good like that.

I have bad news for your husband. I was that chick, and I wasn’t a chick.

I’m going to have to try that phrase out at a bar sometime: “Don’t make me go all ad hominem on your ass.”

she was so impressed she put out right away.

I must say, you’re quite the understanding wife. So, like, did you watch?

dtester:

taking into consideration that it happened in 1984, the year i turned NINE, it would have taken a lot for me to get to florida to watch my husband hump a chick who was dumb enough to believe the “i’m in a band” line.

of course i’m understanding. everything he did prior to meeting me is his own business. it doesn’t bother me at all.

Well, that ruins my joke.

Oh my god, Champs.

You went camping. You ate something. You cream your jeans over Summit IPA. You saw a guy who used to be in a band.

We get it.

Summit IPA is a *rare* brew? that’s odd. every restaurant and bar we’ve been to since we’ve moved here has served it. my hubby loves it.

honeybun: it was Summit India Pale Ale (the purplish tap handle), not the original, very common Extra Pale Ale (light wood tap handle) that’s generally synonymous with the brand name.

And once more, less nuanced and “pretentious” for some of the posters here:
Grunt. Grunt grunt GRUNT grunt. Grunt Grunt!

Awww. That’s better, Champs.

champs, if there was a movie about beer snobs and they asked me who would play you (and your infinate wisdom), i’d have to go with toby radloff.

hi y’all,
wow, what a conversation. aelund – yes. champs – yes. honeybun and amber, yes. born n raised in mpls lake harriet – up from queen beach. lived in israel on kibbutz sarid in 1985 near afula near haifa (coastal harbor town similar to SF, lived in poconos near honesdale, pa near scranton, pa, on an ashram every summer since I was 15 – hence the sanskrit name Aruna. married the decatur, il boy i met working in mpls in 1983. long good story. his folks and mine still in mpls. just there for my u. mike’s funeral. still the best city for growing up. love the Greater Minnesota areas; including, bemidji, brainard, fargo, duluth, lutzen, and on and on. fishing, yes. need good place in MN for walleye, suggestions? love to fish. lived in SF now for 17 years. love it but will never forget or give up on dream to live again in Mpls. love st. paul. mom and many relatives grew up there.

duluth…great chinese on the way to or from lutzen/mpls at bottom of hill. bear lake? anyone know it? not white bear lake, bear lake. up north. boundary waters? anyone? duluth also says I stink from paper companies (still?). unfortunate cuz such a nice town otherwise

IPA can be found locally on tap at The New Dehli on Nicollet.

Aruna–

Walleye fishing is good all over. If you’re in the cities, I say go to Lake Minnetonka or the Mississippi. If you’ve got the time and a boat, go up to Lake of the Woods, Rainy Lake or Mille Lacs. Those are the big ‘uns.

Duluth only stinks like paper companies when the wind is just right, and it wafts in from Cloquet.

Or at least that’s who we always used to blame it on.

Thanks for the good tips MLH and MunsingW. Appreciate your comments and advice.

Embarrass = Duane’s Outfitters, last step before the BWCA.
Duluth = We wish we were the capitol. (it’s not too late to move it from St. Paul is it?)

Duluth = Move to the cities so you can afford to visit all our hip, fun, great places.

Apparently, lots of prescription drugs are required to make live bearable outstate!!

Good colors? You are a comment spamming idiot!

Where the fuck is Jack? Did he and Mary go somewhere together?

I love it how you respond to the spammers, max.

Spammers? I thought they were posters.

I liked the depressed spammer yesterday who posted,like, 19 posts that all said “I don’t really have much to say — there’s not too much going on with my life … I’m really boring today. MAKE YOUR PENIS LARGE.”

Spam cleanup in aisle 9 please.

All good things are three? Show me your friends and I legend you who you are?

What the fuck are you Germans talking about?

Sprechen zie spam?

It’s the International Language.

You’re staggering.

This same business can be Health insurance plan selling e-cards or cards sold in stores. http://xack.somegood.tv/