Secrets of the City

Jason, if this turns into another Diablo Cody homage, I’m cutting off the thread.

I’m with you, Jason. By the way, if you’re looking for a free lap dance, I have discovered that you can get one just by trying to use the bathrooms at the Double Deuce. There’s always someone getting their grind on in the narrow restroom entryway, and it’s easy enought to pretend to be having trouble getting around them. Instead, you are, in fact, engaging in frottage!

Frottage!

Censor!

Can I play, DeRusha?

Hooray for boobies! I wonder how crowded the court room is. This one would be a good to one to sit in on during a lunch break just for the comedy of hearing them negotiate a technical definition of a lap dance.

I wish I could think of something clever to post, but I’m laughing too hard to concentrate properly. Fact-finding mission?! That ROCKS, DeRusha.

Tom: Instead of lunch at the Local… maybe we need to do some research? And Alexis… I wouldn’t think of doing this research without you!

If Margaret can have her photoblog meetups to take pictures, we can have our fact-finding mission!

Flash mob!

Jason, I know what a lap dance is, and I’m also quite sure that no place that features them has as good a walleye sandwich as The Local does.

I must be older than I realize to have just said that.

That’s funny, Rex. Emphasis on the flash.

If we’re using the ‘CCO expense account, I’m in. Those $8 Cokes will bankrupt you!

Ho hum. Who cares? Politics is more interesting.

Corey, if you’re in, I’m there. We could get one coke and two straws and save our dollars for other stuff.

Finally. I was wondering when I’d be hitting the gentlemen’s establishments with DeRusha.

And here’s for the old guys: I’ll spring for your Cokes. It’s better to go where the Cokes are $8 than where they’re $3. Trust me.

I’m worried that I fit the category of “old guys.”

Of course, we’d need to set a date/time in some kind of code, so CJ doesn’t show up and write about it.

Let’s just invite her along Jason. In fact, can we just have all the TV types join us? It’s been too long since I was mentioned in the same article as you good looking people.

You’re right Jason, it’s totally the same thing.

I’ll see what I can do about pulling some sway and combining the two excursions for ya.

I think we should at least let C.J. know that we’re going:

NEWS… UNCOVERED!

C.J., Startribune

Some Twin Cities newhounds recently created a news-worthy story all their own.

Last Friday, a group local reporters and internet commentators — including WCCO reporter Jason DeRusha, The Rake publisher Tom Bartel, City Pages writer Corey Anderson, MSP Magazine Editor Steve Marsh, and internet advice columnist Alexis McKinnis, amongst others — were asked to leave Sheik’s Palace downtown because of their disruptive behavior.

“They said they were all doing research for a story on lap dances,” said one of the dancers, “but they were really just trying to get free dances and drinks.”

It turns out that DeRusha was trying for another angle. “A few of the younger guys kept buying him beers and egging him on, and he went behind the bar to get drinks for everybody. That’s when we asked them to leave.” said the Sheik’s manager.

No word yet on the the stories reported to the men’s wives.

Now that would provide some excellent photos for your blog.

I was at that hearing, and it was somewhat comical. Interestingly, after the prosecutor said that he assumed it was common knowledge, and therefore didn’t define it in the complaint, it was later learned that the alleged lap dance took place while Mo Williams was standing up. As any good stripper knows, good tips only come with a proper sit-down lap dance.

So, it was clear, neither the prosecutor or the judge had a good idea. The defense attorneys, however, seemed more than knowledgeable.

It’s not proper scientific method unless you do trials at all the local outlets to determine the overall community standard for lap dances.

Keep in mind if you go during the lunch hour they won’t be there. After being on a murder trial jury for two weeks this past spring they are only in the court room for about 3 hours a day.

That’s right only 3 hours a day, which means an hour morning break, 2 hour lunch, and multi hour afternoon breaks and you can still keep your tee time at 4:00 PM.

Government at it’s finest!

I’ll bring the camera.

The Deuce Deucehas a strictly enfocred no cameras policy. As I quite painfully discovered.

Hip, did they stuff it in your cleavage, so to speak?

When Deja Vu opened and wanted to advertise in City Pages way back when, my business manager and I went there to do some research. I paid a rather forlorn creature named “Secret” $20 NOT to give us a table dance. True story.

Nick Coleman, of all people, beat you to the field trials.

This “six-inch” rule truly puts a crimp in what I expected to be a delightful evening. Nick Coleman… I can’t believe it.

Nick Coleman!?! That’s gross!

Sidenote: I’m proud to be posting before 8:30am with Jason and Tom.

Impressive– or sad– Taylor. I’m up because little Seth thinks 6am is a great time to start the day. What’s your excuse?

6am is a great time to start the day. What are you, a college student? Get up and get to work! You could already be working on a story like this.

I sleep late because I am no longer a college student. And because I am lazy.

I’m sure the “six-inch” rule was more than enough to spoil Mr Coleman’s evening, but it will take a “lot-longer” rule than that to bother me!

Aloha Taylor is hawt (but married).
Mary Tan and her Gucci’d out look is also very fine. Although, she has like a different sounding voice in every story, so I don’t about that. But, still hawt regardless.
I am also an Amy Hockert fan. I wonder if she is still seeing that MN Wild player. Hmmm. Either way, what a hottie.
Well, enough day dreaming for me.
Who do you guys (or girls) think is hawt?

Hawt TV People? Raj, don’t ruin my nice thread on going to local strip clubs with your filthy thoughts.

Jason, I saw your myspace and you have friends with many hawt women. How do you know and then party with so many beautiful ones?

Also, do you know if Mary Tan is free to go to breakfast sometime? Just kidding. (…unless she is interested??)