Secrets of the City

I, for one, am eagerly anticipating future updates on the prank phone calls by the “hipster” who lives with her parents in Stillwater, yo.

Don’t we hear enough from Marsh already!

Marsh.

This should be interesting

Yeah! What could be more captivating than the public adventures of a self-important journo and a “hot” rich white girl who appropriates ebonics to appear interesting and street?

sweet, and we get to see Marsh’s huge noggin too!

it’s like an orange on the head of a toothpick!

Kinda like Fozzie the Bear?

Hola. Hola. Hola.

Fozzie! That is sweet. My head is big. Size 8. Just like Oprah and David Letterman.

But why am I self-important, Marc? I don’t spell my name “Mark” with a fucking “c.” Douchebag.

Now that I got the ad hominem out of my system, let me just say that I’m supposed to post three times a week, and I don’t want to post about features that I’m working on–for all kinds of reasons–so I’m left writing about my tuesday. And I left a lot of stuff out, you know? I didn’t talk about the reuben soup I had for lunch at the Lone Doughnut, for instance, or the argument I got into at work over my big head photo, or the afterbar Kelly and I went to with the pit bulls. I just pulled out a couple things. I don’t know if my blog is any more self important than any other blog.

reuben soup? marsh is obviously good to go. good luck, big-headed fella. but dude, what happened to the pricey frustrated-poet-douchebag glasses, like rex’s?

jane haugen olsen? ugh, what drivel. I Love To Shop! Me! Shopping is ME! Me=Shopping. Have you seen this thing called Lucky magazine? OMFG!

that’ll be a real winner.

zimmie’s cool, tho. still can’t get over that big bald, gibbous head. gentlemen without hair, baldness is not your only option. he should wear a hoodie or a beanie and be all street like marsh.

Incredible.

You must admit: your melon is impressive.

MNSPEAK CONSPIRACY THEORY!

Yo, Matt, why was this link moved off the homepage? We know, we know. Awesome, man.

did i spot that large noggin at the Black Angels gig last night at the Entry or was that someone else?

Yeah. I was there. Actually blogged about it today. Of course, right? Why didn’t you show yourself? There was plenty enough repetitive droning to introduce yourself. I’m very approachable for a self-important blogger.

Aw, leave Jayne alone. She’s one of the friendliest folks at MSP.

And Steve, m’boy, pay the haters no mind. Oh, shit — that was like ebonics, and I’m white. My bad. Fuck! I did it again.

It’s not ebonics. Just rolling street, like me.

i wasn’t sure, just saw you standing near the right side of the stage for a bit.

what’d you think? i dug them a lot musically, but vocally they could stand a bit of improvement. the singer reminded me of Morrison meets Ian Curtis, sadly a bit too Morrison for my taste (albeit not nearly as low of register as Jim).

that drummer was a cutie tho, that’s for sure

I thought Oasis on ‘luudes. Or longhorn shoegazing. And I said so on http://msp.blogs.com/unlimitedcity/

their myspace page lists:

The Velvet Underground, Brian Jonestown Massacre, The Warlocks, BRMC, Oasis, the Pink Floyd, Jesus & Mary Chain, Clinic, Verve, Joy Division, Spacemen 3, Suicide, Syd Barrett, The Stooges, Bob Dylan, The Doors, The Beatles, 13th Floor Elevators, LOVE

as influences

and i honestly heard bits and pieces of everybody listed there besides Dylan, LOVE, and Verve

hmm… i only show the latest post being from 2/15 entitled CC V-day

showing up now

showing up now

It should be up there now, solace. Yeah, the guitarist told me that they’ve all been listening to Arthur Lee’s Love in the van almost exclusively. They were headed to Cincinnatti at 5 in the morning, poor bastards.

we are trudging through the marsh here, folks. it’s scary stuff. i recommend an end to the self-involved thread. only to protect those involved, including the marsh. too many footprints cannot be good.

Couldn’t have said it better, franchesca. Although there’s something amusing about observing marsh as he hovers over the thread, snapping in reaction to other people’s comments about his blog while redundantly promoting it. So sensitive!
And apologies to those xenophobes out there who can’t hack anything but solid Midwestern names. Like Steve. Marsh.
In any case Steve… I’m sure your blog will be tops.

Who’s franchesca? Is she cute? Does she read my new blog on mspmag.com?

Why would I post anywhere else, btw? From now on, this is the exclusive stevemarsh mnspeak thread.

oh yes, marsh, very cute indeed. but a great lover of humility as well.

Oh, you’re from Hopkins or something, then?

Marsh: I tried to leave a comment on one of your posts in Unlimited Pity, but I don’t see it yet. Are we practicing censorship on the comments, or are we having technical difficulties? Maybe my lowbrow commenting will have to rise a few notches to meet qualifications and standards over there.

i’m usually not this bad with what i assume to be snide humour, but i’m afraid this one is over my head. or is it just that unamusing? please explain, marsh — if you can do so in one column inch

Maybe Fridley, then? Or Maple Grove? You just seem like a nice, humble Minnesota girl, despite the mannered spelling and the dour European internet handle. But I still see a sweet, suburban kid, the kind that affirms she’s “very cute indeed” in one sentence and then swears that she loves “humility” in the next. Raised normally, is what I’m saying. Wait, I know: Inver Grove Heights. Are you from Inver Grove Heights?

Unless “franchesca” is another Tom Bartel messageboard plant, you devil.

as I crawled out of the water, i turned to see the light through the trees of the marsh. it was high tide and the normally narrow shallow channel was no where to be found. i continued south about a mile and then cut back into the marsh.

sorry, love, i figured a man like you might recognize a touch of irony. i must have overestimated.

try new york. it demands a little more bite.

Get a room, you two.

okay, that’s just cruel. i’m hurt, mcgeary

Oh you are not. Admit it. You’re all atwitter, fresca. You’re flirting on stevemarsh’s exclusive mnspeak thread, and you’re not embarrassing yourself too badly yet.

And it’s spelled “irouny,” btw. Like in NY.

wow, that was almost amusing, marsh. you’re making progress.

I’m not going any further without protection. Jpeg or flickr or something.

I really like the idea of Marsh having his own thread for talking sh*t on MNSpeak. I also like the idea of having more pictures of the wonderful women that comment on this blog. But Steve, what happened to the two categories on Unlimited City?

now that’s funny!

what happened to the link? it’s linking to an entirely different photo now. oh, well. now others will not be able to enjoy it.

Ladies, I am HOME. What do you say we all slip into something more comfortable and move this conversation over to smarsh@mspmag.com. We can file this conversation under “internet predator.”

Damnit. Now they’re both totally different pictures. I thought you two were both super hot black chicks.

This thread has taken a delightful turn! Pictures of the sexy ladies of the MNSpeak comments! Way better than Marsh’s gynormous head… and my TV reporter-dork smile. More pictures please!

i’m still intact, but the marsh seems to have transformed into a bog

sorry love. not ready to home with you yet. need a little more inspiration. but i’m all for filing this self-promoting thread away in the dark recesses of disillusionment

I hear you, fresca. I still have some questions too, you know, bouncing around the dark recesses of my delusions of grandeueueur. Now that I’ve been able to check you out on a clear-eyed Daytona 500 Sunday, I have three issues. 1. Together with all the diary-level poetry, the photo makes you seem awfully fresh faced. Legal? 2. You seem to have pretty eyes, etc., but it’s one of those internet photos where I can’t tell if you’re fat or not. Can you zoom out? 3. Yo, I get the marsh/swamp/bog metaphor. Seriously. I had the same name in grade school. Can you flip it somehow?

If you can provide a satisfactory response, maybe I can sweeten the deal. You, me, derusha and a gym bag full of glass figurines? We can post the whole thing on channel4000 aftewards. Everybody wins.

Why don’t all of you just come to my party on saturday and join the orgy?

don’t tease me rex. i’m just playing here, but unlike the murky marshes, i take you much too seriously. when and where?

From the email invite that Marsh and everyone else whose email I have got:

Like America in Iraq (or Paris Hilton on the internet), I should be long gone by now. But after what seems like the worst exit strategy since you-know-what, I am finally packing up the chateau and moving to the great northwest. Yes, the home of Courtney Love. And Frasier and Starbuck’s. And some software company I heard about on the MySpace.

But anyway, we should have a party — a good riddance party!

When: 9:00 p.m., Saturday, February 25
Where: 1345 Lincoln Ave, Minneapolis
Directions: Get to the corner of Franklin & Hennepin. Go five blocks toward Lake of the Isles. Take a right onto Girard. One block in is Lincoln. Big house on the corner. Enter on the Lincoln side of the street.

Don’t bring anything. There will be enough drink to kill everyone. Food will be provided by D’Amico, but you might have to get there early to enjoy it.

Invite your friends!

I look forward to finally being told off by you, as this may be your last chance,
-Rex

I might rename it the “get-Marsh-laid party” though.

almost everything about him — the four-foot-long jaw, the six-inch-long teeth, and the huge thigh bones — bespeaks the enormous power of tyrannosaurus rex

The Get Marsh Laid Party? I don’t need your charity! Necessarily! Anymore than any other guy! Who posts on mnspeak regularly!

Fuck.

This is wonderful. Really. Perhaps even better than the photo of Marsh on his blog. Thank you for this. I think, if only so this continues in its meta format, we come up with a contest in this post to determine our favorite (or do I mean “favourite?”) comment. I’ll start:

Hola. Hola. Hola.

Fozzie! That is sweet. My head is big. Size 8. Just like Oprah and David Letterman.

yeah, ok marsh, don’t bog down the site with so much bullcrap. i’m 13, weigh 360 lbs, and love the smell of wetlands in the morning. oh, yeah, and an iq of 43. let’s just leave it at that for now. i’m not into glass anymore, not since i was 12.

My favorite post was by WCCO anchor Jason DeRusha! LOL! And Steve really does look like Fozzie!

Hopped up on goofballs has my vote for MVP. That guy brings it.

He should wear a hoodie or a beanie and be all street like marsh

I’m so over franchesca. Priesmeyer, wanna fluegle? Don’t think I’ve ever met you, but you write skinny.

Yeah, hopped up on goofballs always surprises. This one takes the number two spot (and DeRusha’s is a close third):

reuben soup? marsh is obviously good to go. good luck, big-headed fella. but dude, what happened to the pricey frustrated-poet-douchebag glasses, like rex’s?

Funny. I always thought HUOG was a girl.

Marsh, get some frustrated-poet-douchebag glasses and we have a deal.

Oh, I’m straight on the douchebag glasses. Serious Alain Mikli shit. Are you going to go to Rex’s party?

Is goofballs a girl? That would be hot. HUOG: photo?

Some magic happening here…

More like “black magic”, taylor.

Dropped a new Unlimited City today. It was President’s Day yesterday, so I’m a day off schedule.

http://msp.blogs.com/unlimitedcity/

I hate to get this thread fired up again: but Marsh has a new “rugged” non-Fozzie looking picture on his blog. I miss the bear. He looks like he’s doing some hard-core brooding.

You don’t like the rugged look? It’s totally Papa. I’m going to shave when I get back from Peru.

That’s a little too brooding of a photo, really.

What do you guys think about a latino-style mustache? Would that be “fun”?

Marsh: Hold a contest on your blog. Make a poll and give some options for your next facial hair(less) design.

Winner gets 3 drinks and one hour at a local establishment.

Staches are coming back in a big way. Just ask Chuck T.

I’m seeing Terhark on Saturday afternoon for my fantasy baseball auction. I think I need to lose ten pounds for mine to be effective though.

Marsh, by Latino are you talking handlebar or something else?
My favorite recent look for you was the full-on professorial/Grizzly Adams look. There were no compromises being made with that one.

It’s my 30th birthday party at the Hexagon on Friday night. Friends Like These are headlining. It starts at 9.

What should we bring for presents?

It’s now the day after my birthday. Taylor, I need a hyperbaric chamber and a total blood transfusion. That would be nice.

I returned from Peru yesterday and I just got mugged in front of Kowalskis last night. It was horrible. It will be in my blog tomorrow.