Secrets of the City

Count me in as a convert to electric. I’ve never understood the fixation on a gas range.

My parents have it at home, and it takes – literally – ten times longer to boil water in the kettle. Tonight I made a rice dish on the stove, and the water was bubbling away within two minutes.

What’s the big deal about cooking on a gas range? Methinks the gas fetishists are full of hot air.

Um, is that a entry in the non sequitur awards?

Maybe he cracked under the strain of being alone and unloved on Valentine’s Day.

Hell, let’s go with it.

I love a gas range, it allows you better control and visual feedback. But an electric burner would be great for boiling water and stuff like that.

I think it’s time for a love/heating-device haiku!

Jaded valentine,
your heat is unsteady. So…
I went electric.

Thankyou! Thankyouverymuch!

So…um…that was weird.

I guess I should add that I don’t like gas ranges for the simple fact that it makes my apartment smell funky. Kind of like a stale robot fart or something.

Yellow winter melts.
A fluttering stanza wilts.
Perfumed gases burn.

My new condo will have gas and I really depend on being able to boil water, is this going to be a problem?

I’ll acknowledge one thing, which is that firing up the burner – the click-click-click of the igniter, the spurt of the blue flame, the steady hissing sound – doesn’t have an analogue on the electric side of things.

So Kevin, yeah – you’ll wait longer for your water to boil. But there’s a kind of anticipation as you sit there, with the faint sound of the burner and the glow of the flame across the room. You’ll pick up and page through a magazine you might otherwise have ignored, your ears attuned to the first sounds of the steam escaping from the kettle. You’ll savor the moment and probably learn to like that waiting time, as many do. It’s a kind of zen-like experience.

Meanwhile, people like me will be drinking our tea, but we’ll have missed out on the above. Which is fine.

Am I being punked?

I just spit out my wine!

I didn’t see any that said “I Hate You, Scumbag.” Did I miss it? I’m tired, so it’s possible. I should get started on my feminist Valentine’s Day cards now, I suppose…

—–HA————HA—
–HA—HA—–HA–HA–
HA———HA——–HA
–HA—————-HA–
—-HA————HA—-
——-HA——-HA——
———-HA–HA——–
————-HA———-

Speaking of VD, does anyone know if White Castle is doing the white table cloth dinners this year? If so, I’m tempted to go.

need a date?

Kevin, put a lid on it.

White Castle is doing the tablecloth dinner again. But they were booked up weeks ago.

White Castle is for lovers.

i prefer gas to electric.

ps. these cards are great!

I have terrible gas today.

Wait — what are you guys talking about?

Nothing says “I heart you” more than stinky gas. What about electric cars?