Secrets of the City

If anyone’s wondering, these weren’t leaked to me… they showed up in referal stats. I’ve got no idea when (or if) they will be officially announced.

(I also like that the two categories on Marsh’s blog are “Arts” and “Parties”.)

i can never resist a good food blog.

Ay yi yi. Another hipster reference. Run for the hills.

If it’s ok with you guys, I’m not giving up Powerlineblog for Marsh, even if the only foreign films Hindraper watches are those old VHS copies of I Am Curious: Yellow. I do have a suggestion though: that Marsh rename the blog Unlimited Namedropping.

Steve, where’s the link to your amazon.com wishlist?

ugh. marsh’s blog will sure be a big hit with all those suburban blue hairs in the express lane at byerly’s.

Thanks for the harryshearer.com/leshow link, Steve! I forgot all about that show.

Goofballs: You obviously don’t know Steve Marsh. I suspect this thing will make Gawker look like Better Homes & Garden.

You’re too late to catch the blog previews. They’ve been stashed behind a password. Unless Rex has the password for us all, of course. Maybe we could guess at what the password is. I’m gonna try “hipster”. I’ll let you all know if it works.

I bet Steve Marsh makes Better Homes & Gardens look like Swank.

Dammit. I guess they were still a secret.

see, if i was some kinda secret blog marketing consultant — this is exactly how i’d build some buzz. drop a few strategic links, await discovery, then yank it just as mouths started to froth. genius!

I think Chuck is on to something. We didn’t know we wanted Steve’s blog until we were told we couldn’t have it — brilliant!

What? Why are these so secretive? Fuckin’ MSP!

If this means that we’ll have fewer snarky Marsh comments on MNSpeak… I object! I’m cancelling my MSP Mag subscription right now. Oh wait… today I’ve admitted subscribing to the “Hipster” magazine, and admitting killing two “trophy wives” in Maple Grove.

I’ve lost my street cred.

Jason, easy to get it back. Just say you read The Rake for the stories and MSP for the recipes. As for the trophy wives, you are on your own.

Actually, Tom, that pretty much sums it up.

Good call Tom. And I do read The Rake. I’m not above repurposing stories from wherever I can find them. Although I’m not about to go inside the world of nudists.

But Jason, think of all the money you’d save on suits.

I’m a little nervous about this blogging thing. Who cares about what I do on a daily basis. Isn’t the whole point of writing to sit on your “experiences” for a few years and then “enhance” them after your memory gets gnarly?

And I can’t believe you guys haven’t made fun of the name “Unlimited City” yet. It sounds like a Brooke Shields sitcom to me.

BTW, why does Tbartel have to be such a jagoff all the time? My stories are okay. His best writer Jen Vogel used to edit me at CP and she never told me I should go back to writing recipes.

Here’s a recipe though.

Bartel’s Rump Roast:

1 Large Ass
2 short responses to a fascinating post on “My economic professor’s cat at Carelton”
2 medium-sized disgruntled, underpaid Rake Asst. Editors that roll their eyes every time they’re instructed to comb through Mpls.St.Paul magazine for “funny typos and/or malaprops.”

Now, cook slowly under hot air until the other cooks fold so you can sell the whole thing to Village Voice Media.

no shizzle, marsh. make sure those doofs pay you the big bucks like lileks gets. serious bloggers today get ten dollars a word and live in gated communities and marry lawyers and wet their beds every time they hear the word “bin laden.” none of this drooling-on-pillows-at-the-Varsity.

and “front burner” sounds like a bad william gibson novel, and looks like a Mr Clean production

Steve, I think Slim got you at 2:24 above.

I’m pretty sure that the mockery of the name Unlimited City was too easy for us.

“unlimited city” sounds circa 1996, like some sort of web log, a personal diary, self-published on the Internet, a worldwide network of computers.

dude writes a blog at thousands of words per. who you tryna kid, marsh? you ARE trying out for the rake, arent you.

That Mr. Clean shit is funny. I don’t know who William Gibson is though. Is he on Good Morning America?

C’mon, man. That drooling thing was a practice blog. It was too long, huh? Why can’t we be constructive here. I’ll give the people what they want. I’m eager to please. How many words can you read at one go, goofy? Let’s say, if I’m posting three times a week. You tell me. And they might pay for my expenses, so if you have any high class shit you want me to write about, go crazy with the suggestions.

naw, it was pretty good, Hawaii Five Oh. don’t sweat it. but too long for my mountain-dew attention span (maybe the goofballs? nah.) had to scan the thing twice to get it into the mental shredder, you know, only one page at a time.

Marsh: Excellent recipe. Very funny.
Does Bartel really have a huge ass? Or is he a huge ass?
Just looking for clarity.
Personally, I have no ass… yet I am a moderate ass.

Warning: Don’t try that recipe. It is very difficult and dangerous to disgruntle an associate editor. A lot like boning a chicken or deglazing a goose. Please consult an expert.

That recipe post is hilarious, Marsh! Also, I must say that it’s nice to find you being slightly self-deprecating instead of the one with the knee-jerk attacks here (that recipe post is totally fair, however).

Ladies and gentlemen, this has been your crazy (and occasionally bitter, though strangely entertaining) meta-meta-meta-media thread of the day. Good night.

And… end scene.

Hey, Steve Marsh, can I request a blog entry? Why did you write about those rich sisters who own a condo? And why did MSP devote 2 pages to the article?

Right after that Steve, maybe you can explain your fawning piece on Chuck Olson and mnstories.com in this month’s MSP, and then why you slagged Matt Bartel for posting a link to today’s featured video…on mnstories.com. Which is it, do you like Olson’s choices or don’t you? Or do you like them only if the Bartels don’t? Or is it just that you’re not a cat person?

I say that a huge ass is as a huge ass does, Steve. Your maturity impresses me…

i’m only going to say this once.

the most you dis cat videos, the more of them you’re going to get.

and yes, i will personally tie you to a chair and tape your eyes open. also, for some reason i’ll be in the corner touching myself.

steve i hope your boss doesn’t make you stop posting here. i can see why MSP hates the rakers, they make MSP look pretty dumb. but this aint the rake, this is us! so, keep it coming dude. (i don;t want to read you at mspmag.com, any more than i want to read tbartel at rakemag.com. you’re both better where we can see ya and make a jab for yur nards!)

i love videos of kitties.

Alright people, I’m gonna try to play arbitrator for a moment. Hear me out.

Each and everyone one of us is more than the sum of the companies we work for. Steve is more than MSP Mag, Tom is more than The Rake, and I hope I’m more than the mega-media corporations I work for. I know it’s easy to use rhetorical synecdoche to reduce everyone down to A Representative Of Local Media Outlet, but everyone is here representing themselves and only themselves.

So how about everyone just cut the random bashing. Everyone here does good work and believes in mostly the same principles.

We should be critical, but we shouldn’t be dickheads.

I also want to point out that derusha liked the cat video, too.

i have so many cat videos, i was going to have an “all pussy week” on MNstories. get it? a week with nothing but pussy videos. ha ha! pussy videos.

p.s. rex – whatever “Mr. Seattlepants”

Chuck, nothing against your cat stories. I’m down for all pussy week. Really. You’re Kay Corleone in this thing. You just got caught between Bartel and me, in this Sicilian thing that’s been going on for 2000 years. But Rex told Tommy to quit it, so he’s going to be super cool from now on and stop the random unfunny cheap shots at MSP. Right, T? I mean, I know there’s nothing you can do about the unfunny, but you can at least work on controlling the random and the cheap.

I know it’s easy to use rhetorical synecdoche to reduce everyone down to A Representative Of Local Media Outlet, but everyone is here representing themselves and only themselves.

True story: Last time I heard anyone use the word “synecdoche” was in a magazine publishing class at the U. The word was written on the board by the teacher, Kris Henning, co-publisher of the Rake and wife of none other than Mr. Tom Bartel.

Synchronicity, dude.

Rex: Each and everyone one of us is more than the sum of the companies we work for. Steve is more than MSP Mag …. So how about everyone just cut the random bashing. Everyone here does good work and believes in mostly the same principles.

Did you read Steve’s article on those rich white girls who own a condo? (Yes, that was the gist of the article.) I just want to know what was up with that.

Actually, a few local news organizations wrote about them before Marsh did.

That does it. I’m taking away Kris’s metonymy.

And it was an interesting article: I did not know we had that kind of Hilton-esque party-girl scene here.

You say “rich white girls” I say “potato farm heiresses.” Why do you think I di that story, synecdouche? I first read about the Bogestads in that McKenzie piece in the DTJ — I read Mac every week, btw — and I was like, I need to go party with these rich white girls. I owe it to my readership.

Yeah, that was the weird thing about the article — notwithstanding the fact they are rich (or at least nouveau riche), and notwithstanding the fact the readership of DTJ lost its collective shit over that article, they still came across as vapid and uninteresting.

I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why they were in the magazine — let alone why standard, doughy examples of Minnesotan esthetic mediocrity would warrant a full-page spread. Did you at least get to party with them at their VIP table at Bellanotte?

JDerusha, if those Bogestad girls are the closest Minnesnowta can come to the Hilton sisters, we are in sorry straights indeed.

I’m trying to think if them have been over to our place before. Hmmm…

Unlimited city like some sort of web log, a personal diary, self-published on the Internet, a worldwide network of computer.I know there’s nothing you can do about the unfunny, but you can at least work on controlling the random and the cheap.

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