Secrets of the City

I really need to make a new category for “vampires”.

Bars will never hold him. He can just turn into a bat tonight, and he’ll be back in my arms.

Stalking in itself isn’t funny, but why does the idea of the Vampyre stalking someone make me laugh, just a little? I think it’s the long hair, and of course the cloak.

quick–someone make a t-shirt!

Damn. There goes his credibility.

stalking… that’s not considered an impalable offense, is it?

T-shirt Offering:

***
Front –
I was stalked by The Impaler…

Back –
and all I got was this lousy VD
***

Oh wait – is that slander? Is slander an impaleable offense?

Stalking? That’s what vampires do!

I wanted to say something funny, but it’s just to damn easy to make fun of this butt hole. I laughed when I read he had been arrested for stalking. It’s also hilarious that he used to wrestle and call himself “Rocky Flash.” This whole ordeal kind of inspires me to play a Truman Capote sort of role and make an effort an reach out to him. I want to know his side of the story and how the hell he got so loony.

Don’t you mean a new category for vampyres?

Well, thank god they got him when he was still stalking, rather than lunging, chewing, or swallowing blood.

shit! he was supposed to be at the Ave. tonight for the big wrestling match!