Secrets of the City

What is Aveda Congress? In a (sustainably-harvested Brazillian) nutshell, it is an “educational event” held every two years for Aveda-ites since the mid ’80s. And even though Aveda was purchased by Estee Lauder in the late ’90s, they have been allowed to function as the earth-friendly salon brand that Austrian-turned-local-visionary Horst Rechelbacher founded in the ’70s. Congress’ purpose: To educate and provide advanced training to Aveda stylists. What goes down? Salon education book-ended by some pretty kick-ass hair, fashion, and partying.

Aveda partnered with eco-conscience clothing designers such as Keenan Duffty, Bruce and Deborah Milner. What follows is a run-down of events in pictures and words from one that has never held a scissors to anyone. Well, except for my sister when she was four.

Day One: Sunday, October 16, 9 a.m.

The hairstylists, about 90 percent dressed in head-to-toe black, arrived and took their seats. I noticed a few that seemed hung over, but it was 9 a.m. so I certainly can’t blame them for staying out past midnight on a Saturday night. (And, okay, so I was one of them.)

Opening Ceremony: Aveda Congress kicks off and my camera powers down. But I can tell you what happened: didgeridoos, real life tribe people, gorgeous models, and Aveda’s humble and handsome president, Dominique Conseil, welcomed the crowd: “Is everybody having a great day at Aveda?” The crowd cheers in agreement. Everyone wins — air kisses!

Hair: Part 1

We get introduced to our host, Lizz Winstead, a Minneapolis native who made a name for herself as one of the original Daily Show co-creators (during the Kilborn years), and this summer, fundraising for Mayor R.T. Rybak. Her style is Kathy Griffin-esque (or is Griffin Winstead-esque?) and she sure loooooves her new hair cut-n-color!

Lizz introduces us to some mini-extreme makeover candidates who have stories of career and life changes that require a new look. They even managed to find a newly relocated Katrina evacuee. The candidates get sent back to the magical makeover fairies.

A big name stylist, Dennis, comes on stage and chops a model’s hair in under 10 minutes. It looks great.

Then we get a treat — Aveda has come out with a line of colorful cartoon characters, and they give one to each participant. They are called T-Hugs (short for Tree-Hugger?) and look like the characters on the latest Gorillaz album. Stylists are encouraged to take them home and use them at work. I found an extra T-Hug and have been playing with them at my home:

Hair: Part 2 & 3

Suddenly, the lights go down, an amazing DJ plays remixes of Queen and Gwen Stefani as models strut out.

I’m excited and inspired and want their hair, clothes, make-up and fabulous lives all at once. Someone does a demonstration about “textured hair” making a comeback and models showcasing this look sashay down the catwalk.

It looks suspiciously like a “perm” to me. And then, OMG! Two buff guys in kilts and chain saws emerge from the shadows and start cutting up ice sculptures on stage. I have no idea how this relates to hair or Aveda or the cosmos, but I am mesmerized.

Lunch Break.

Participants are urged to eat at local restaurants that have special “green” Aveda menu selections and use reusable dishes.

Part 4

I arrive late to find a woman, Amanda Gore, in bunny ears leading a session on customer service or having a good attitude or something like that. Yes, bunny ears.

Next up: Face Color. Make-up is applied to already gorgeous models that don’t need make-up in the first place. The mini-extreme makeover real people are brought back. They look great. Happy. This reminds me of an Oprah show. The Katrina hurricane victim gets a standing ovation. I’m a bit verklempt.

Then Horst, Aveda’s founder, takes the stage.

He gets a standing ovation befitting a rock star. He speaks about leading a sustainable lifestyle. He plugs his book, Alivelihood, then he cuts about eight inches off someone’s hair.

The day sessions are done. Sunday evening was the Award Celebration, and as much as I wanted to know who won “Texture Stylist of the Year” I had no idea who was even up for the award so I opted out and saved my energy for the Quest where the after party was taking place.

I’m not sure what you were doing Sunday night, but if you are a straight guy you should have been at the Quest. Of the Aveda attendees, over 75 percent of them were women. Sweet smelling, great hair, manicured women looking for a good time. The biggest buzz at the Quest was the huge disappointment regarding the time it took to get a drink — the bar was three deep all night long and a friend of mine made $10 and a shot of tequila by letting a coifed cutie cut in front of him. The other tragedy: the Quest ran out of well vodka. The masses were forced to pay premium or switch their vice. Both were done in spades.

A yamaka wearing dude enjoys the scene:

At which salon did you say you worked?

Day Two: Monday, October 17

Prior to the introduction of Antoinette Beenders, the 2004 British Stylist of the Year and the newly appointed Aveda Creative Director, comes an act straight out of Circe de Soleil, with flexible creatures walking around the stage in larger-than-life bubbles. Did they have fabulous hair? Probably — but who noticed? They were in BUBBLES!

Antoinette came out and was cutting hair and talking up a storm. Here’s what you need to know:

The ’60s beehive styles are coming back — stock up on hair spray.

The 1860s are also back — here’s Nelly from Little House on the Prairie:

A hair model that looked like Donatella Versace was in the house showcasing the latest style: crystal tips. Donatella has the most adorned eyebrows around — and you should too.

When her stylin’ was done, “Donatella” donned a “Marilyn Monroe” pose — now that’s an upwind!

Enter two henchwomen and she turns into the Material Girl.

Throw in a bit of erotica and we have a Madonna-Britney-Christina Redux. This made me tinkle with delight.

It was a great show and I couldn’t believe I was in Minneapolis watching these theatrics. I kept scanning the crowd expecting to see J. Lo sitting a few seats away.

Had enough? One more area to cover: MEN. At the suggestion: “How about some hot guys at the end of the day?” the crowd erupted into hoots and hollers. One by one a genetically-pleasing guy would come out, get a hair cut and dance down the catwalk (in fabulous Keenan Duffty designs) flirting with the crowd. I couldn’t tell who enjoyed the show more, the women and the guy-lovin’ men in the crowd or the models who clearly basked in the attention. And what did these guys get for simply sitting still for a haircut and dancing a little jig? A standing ovation. (And I’m sure if it were allowed they could have walked away with a few bills as well.)

Congress Dismissed

All is said and done. And worth mentioning were the stories of how Aveda sustainably sources their products from developing cultures across the world. True, I just spent two solid days getting their product and trade philosophy shoved down my throat, but it tasted good — and no toxins!

Cue the bubbles!