Secrets of the City

You kind of have to wonder what he was doing with all that expensive jewelry in the first place. Were they gifts from lobbyists?

A $1000 belt? Now that’s just silly. I don’t feel bad for him at all.

Was that guy drunk in the video? He seemed really…off.

Ugh, now I wish I hadn’t watched the video. He was most definitely high on…something. Shifty eyed mofo.

I just have to LMAO at this poor, poor man’s predicament.

$120,000?!!! WTF. So, he’s carrying around on his person app. 12x the amount of cash/money/belongings any normal, sane convention-goer carries around for a 3-day soiree. Who’s he trying to impress?

Probably serves him right, when all is said and done. The only thing that would’ve made this more laugh-worthy was if he’d been a preacher.

Fairly certain he said “strategical” which I am fairly certain is in fact not a real word….nice.

That guy never had a 30k watch…he is the prototypical faux-lex wearer.

Fairly certain he said “strategical” which I am fairly certain is in fact not a real word….nice.

That guy never had a 30k watch…he is the prototypical faux-lex wearer.

Upon reviewing the video again, I’ve come to this conclusion:

Mr. Gabriel Schwartz is a 30-something 20-something-wannabe who still thinks life is one big Spring Break. “Bomb Iran, baby,” indeed. The lap dances begin in five minutes, Mr. Schwartz.

Sounds to me like in this one instance, the free market worked. I can’t think the cops are working too hard on this one.

That’s what happens when you go home with anonymous chicks you meet at bars or craigs list….

/incredibly amused by this…
//kicks boy who’s name i don’t remember out of bed

I think this guy is what Garrison Keillor had in mind when he talked about Republicans as “nihilists in golf pants.”

a fool and his $15,000 earrings are soon parted. he got bitchslapped by the invisible hand. he looks like a cross between Elvis and Benny Hinn. suck it, douchebag.

Why do I detect an odor of scam/hoax in the story? There’s just something about the truthiness of it that doesn’t seem right…

Might it be that he claims to own a $30k watch, but in the video he looks like a b-boy from Brooklyn circa 1984?

Hey, friend, I have a suggestion on how to get back the things you supposedly lost when some trollop “made” you drink:

Get a job.

I don’t even know why he called the cops. All she did was plant a flag and deserved to get reimbursed.

It gets even better:

Why do I detect an odor of scam/hoax in the story?

Maybe he was giddy from all the Rove Kool-Aid being served up at the X?

One thing’s for sure: the Grand Old Party regulars are probably shaking their collective heads at the douchebaggeryness of this a’hole’s plight. Call ‘em what you want — country-club Republicans, Oligarchs, whatever — but I’m of the belief the Party wealthy do not carry around $120k of currency and valuables with them wherever they travel. This guy is obviously a newbie and deserves whatever humiliation he receives from the publicity.

Sorry.

It gets even better.

What a surprise. He’s an ambulance chaser.

Priceless!!

per the article at twincities.com…

>>Aside from the watch, ring, necklace, earrings and belt, Schwartz also reported a $1,000 purse or wallet, a $1,500 cell phone, $500 in cash and a couple of rings worth $50 had been taken. < <

http://www.twincities.com/minneapolis/ci_10472581

i’m not sure how the “take” adds up to $120,000

Dude stole my jacket.

I have two theories:

1) It’s an insurance scam (make them see RED!)

2) The “woman” was really a dude (at least L. Craig kept his bling)

His name may be Schwartz, but he comes across as a big Schmuck.

One more:

3) “Obama Girl” did it.

Unless she took $60k in cash from him too, dude is bad at math and lying.

There’s nothing wrong with him that a testicle airstrike couldn’t solve.

Jesus, this is a Coen Brothers movie waiting to happen.

The lesson here — even in Minnesota, some of the prostitutes cannot be trusted.

I’m telling you, that dude looked like a lady!

If he doesn’t have receipts, he’s not getting close to that $120,000 figure. However, his insurance rates are going to skyrocket!

Axe Body Spray ain’t cheap.

MPR’s Bob Collins echos the outrage expressed by some PiPress commentors on this story.

So, MNspeakers, Do a crime victim’s political beliefs matter?

Blaming the victim/saying the victim deserved it is gross. I don’t mind the questioning of how much stuff costs, but no one deserves to be a victim of a crime.

Saying he deserved to be robbed for bringing someone he doesn’t know up to his room is very similar to saying that a woman who invites a man up deserves to be raped. No one deserves to be drugged and their personal items stolen.

Well, bob, since he went out of his way to be interviewed by the media at the Convention, also the reason he was even in Minnesota in the first place, I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with bringing up his political beliefs.

As to whether or not he deserved to get robbed…well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I agree that he deserved it, rather it’s not a surprize that it happened. When you take chances with your safety, like drinking and picking up a stranger in a strange city and bringing them home, you need to consider the possible ramifications of your actions.

You do have to admit that there’s a bit of irony in that he was advocating that WE “take the oil, take the money,” but it ends up being himself getting robbed.

I like his eyebrows. I’ve named the left one Dr. Chester and the right Theodore Stevens Bobbleton, Esq.

Alie- If I walk home by myself after dark I shouldn’t be surprised if I’m robbed? Or if I go to a protest with anarchists I shouldn’t be surprised if I’m pepper sprayed? I think that is a very dangerous attitude.

karma is a bitch.

No one deserves to be drugged and their personal items stolen.

I agree with kc; if the victim here were a female Republican delegate, even the permanent squatters at MNSpeak wouldn’t dare make light of it. Well, a few would.

That being said; the details of his complaint smell funny form here, and as a conservative, I wish this tool would get off my side.

Well, that’s a little simplistic, my point was he wasn’t taking proper precautions, such as, oh, I don’t know, hiding the alleged watch and money (or putting it in the hotel safe) while allowing a strange woman mix him a drink. That’s far and away more stupid than just walking alone at night.

And I’m really not that comfortable with the corollary between robbery and rape.

I think the corollary between robbery and rape is apt in this case because the man was drugged. Basically, a date rape drug was used to facilitate a robbery. Otherwise, I would probably agree.

So, MNspeakers, Do a crime victim’s political beliefs matter?

In questions of justice, no; in questions of irony, yes.

are you really equating the non-violent robbery of some rich and indiscreet attention-starved douchebag to rape? uptight much? where the fuck is Marsh?

I think where I stand is that I don’t believe his story. It sounds fishy. Who takes $120,000 worth of “bling” on vacation with them?

Secondly, it sounds completely like the hundreds of stories of people being “rolled by a prostitute.” In other words, from my perspective, it appears that he took a prostitute home, treated her rough, and then refused to pay. So, when he was asleep, she paid herself with what he had on him. Whether she helped him to sleep, or he passed out, or he simply rolled off and fell asleep is left to the imagination of the reader. When he awoke in the morning and found out some things were missing, he invented the cover story. IE, doesn’t mention she was a prostitute. Doesn’t mention the sex. Just talks about the robbery — like a good lawyer.

It doesn’t matter that he is a Republican Schmuck. He is a schmuck no matter his politics.

Please, someone Godwin this thread. It would make my Tuesday.

Yes, I’m equating drugging someone and having sex with them to drugging someone and stealing all their belonging. It is the same tactic to gain control over someone in each case.

I’m not a fan of this guy, but I don’t think he deserved this. It is equivalant to saying all the protestors and media who were pepper sprayed and arrested deserved it because that was the situation they put themselves in.

karma is a bitch.

Actually, destiny is a fickle bitch, according to Benjamin Linus.

When I RTFA, I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that this guy ended up in a luxury hotel with a woman he didn’t know who robbed him blind.

I don’t think he *deserved* it. I don’t think anyone deserves to be a victim of a crime. However, I am not going to feel sorry for him. There is a difference.

The guys last name is Schwartz and has a strong pro-Israel stance. Hence the perpetrator of the crime is as bad as the Nazis running the concentration camps! (There you go Joyride)

I think where I stand is that I don’t believe his story. It sounds fishy. Who takes $120,000 worth of “bling” on vacation with them?

He probably thought it would impress us rubes in flyover land…

He probably thought it would impress us rubes in flyover land…

He’s from Denver. The only way that’s not flyover land is because the planes are at ground level in flight there anyway.

Missed Connection:

We locked eyes at the Hotel Ivy. You were on a ladder behind the bar even though you clearly didn’t work there, I was dressed like a rapper even though I clearly was a different type of douchebag. I was sad because, I’d spent all my money on ice and really couldn’t afford the Ivy. You told me it was okay and that you loved a different type of ice because you’re a hockey mom. I missed your name and I miss my bling. Call me!

Calling Bixby.

Has anyone checked HotChicksWithDouchebags.com? Perhaps we can find the perpetrator there!

This guy used extremely poor judgment and based on meeting a woman and taking her back to his hotel room to knock boots, he also perpetuated a myth many have of Republicans and he’s a particularly bad liar who expressed a rather unpopular viewpoint in a TV interview. In short, he’s an asshat.

Yeah, I’m not of the opinion that he should have been robbed, and I wouldn’t tell the police not to do their job and try to solve this one and bring the perps to justice.

However, here we have an ambulance-chasing creep who dresses badly and smirkingly advocates our soldiers go to war with slingshots and drop bomb on civilians, but in the meanwhile demands less taxes, and, when pressed for how such a war might be paid, simply advocates stealing the natural resources of another country. Then he picks someone up, takes them back to his apartment, drinks an alcoholic beverage that they prepared for him, and passes out with his expensive possessions out and aout for them to steal. It is impossible for me to feel sorry for him.

t is equivalant to saying all the protestors and media who were pepper sprayed and arrested deserved it because that was the situation they put themselves in.

Maybe not the Mon. or Tues. protesters who got caught up in the anarchists’ ridiculousnes but the Thursday evening protesters had no permit allowing them to be marching toward the Xcel. A protest/march permit had expired at 5 p.m. that afternoon. So, yes, the Thurs. evening protesters got what they got because they put themselves in that position.

Sorry, but there are no absolute freedoms. The City of St. Paul requires that a permit be issued for public protests. And if a policeman tells you to move and you don’t move, then you are liable for arrest.

IMHO Mr. Schwartz, Esq. got what he got because he did put himself into a position to be robbed … or worse. Do you, as a man or woman, regularly allow strangers into your bedroom? If so, then you’re taking the same risk. No one *deserves* to have a crime committed upon them but there is a level of culpability involved.

I would estimate Mr. Schwartz, Esq. is 90% culpable due to other mitigating factors. LOL

Do you, as a man or woman, regularly allow strangers into your bedroom?

define stranger

Who doesn’t want a little strange now and again?

Next question: So, MNspeakers, does the criminal’s political views matter?

I ask because he’s back! Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Wife Beating Lawmaker from Big Lake, MN, back to make a run at the general election as a write-in candidate.

The next sound you hear is Kevin screaming…

“Men get date raped too”

Umm, dbag you didn’t get raped. You got rolled by a skank. BIG difference.

He also says his videotaped interview at the RNC was “a joke.”

Although this is a pretty seedy little affair all the way around, it’s nice to see there is a least one creepy trial lawyer in the Republican Party, too.

He also says his videotaped interview at the RNC was “a joke.”

Republicans and intentional irony don’t mix very well. I mean, would it be that hard to fathom one of the folks at the convention advocating more war and less taxes based on the last 8 years?

but no one deserves to be a victim of a crime.

I’d say his existence is criminal, if not in the literal sense, at least the karmic one. I don’t feel bad laughing at him.

I knew a former television comedian who used to say the most awful things possible, and then backtrack by sying it was a joke. “You know how you know I’m joking?” He asked me and Coco once: “My lips are moving.”

I told him I generally knew I was hearing a joke when I started laughing.

Republicans and intentional irony don’t mix very well.

Maybe he should have done those “quotation mark” guestures with hus fingers to indicate to the viewers he was being ironic.

I knew a former television comedian who used to say the most awful things possible, and then backtrack by sying it was a joke.

You know Al Franken!?!

Actualy, you do, don’t you…

I live next to Mr. Franken. But the guy I’m talking about I knew in the French Quarter.

err…I was just joking…

i’m not sure how the “take” adds up to $120,000

do you have any idea how much an 8-ball of pure Bolivian Marching Powder costs these days?

i’m not sure how the “take” adds up to $120,000

Maybe she absconded with his body hair, too.

if you have to explain it, then it wasn’t funny.

@wtfmn – I bet he was manscaped.

Is like that episode of Seinfield where George gets handcuffed to the hotel bed and the woman he met on the train robs him of $8.

Oh! That was a good one.

I think he borrowed some of his partner’s bling, but he’s trying to assure him

“No, no, Sandomore. I didn’t bring that with me to Minneapolis. What, do you think I’m stupid?” It’s all back in my…safe. Yeah, that’s it. I forgot the combination, but I assure your ice is not in the hands of a Minneapolitan Lady of the Night…”

I’m not sure how the “take” adds up to $120,000

The monetary value of the stolen items has been downsized to $50K.

Umm, dbag you didn’t get raped. You got rolled by a skank. BIG difference.

OMG, I cringed at that statement too. Is it rape, though, if you wanted to have sex, but was drugged out of the experience?

Test him for “her” DNA!

Wait…

alie- Is it reverse raped?

Is it rape, though, if you wanted to have sex, but was drugged out of the experience?

If being drunk counts, then that’s almost exclusively how I have had sex.

I was just thinking that.

Drugged…that guy didn’t get drugged he picked up a hooker decided to waltz with the white lady before he made the beast with two backs…when he passed out afterwards the lady robbed his ass.

sounds like your average tuesday to me….

Guess we know what Ryan and Ms. Parber are doing tonight.

alie- Is it reverse raped?

Only in Texas.

I’m gonna head over to Hy’s pawn shop and see if I can get me a deal on a $1000 belt.

1. There’s a difference between blaming the victim and holding the victim accountable for irresponsible actions that led to them becoming a victim. No one deserves to be raped but people shouldn’t go around accepting drinks from strangers or going home with people they don’t know etc. No, it’s not okay that someone robbed your house because you left the door open. It’s also irresponsible to leave the door open with a sign that says, “Please don’t jack my shit while I am gone”.

2. Re: laughing Hotel Ivy situation:
I think one Whitney Houston summed up my feelings when she said, “It’s not right but it’s OK.”

3. Everyone else: stop trying to justify your schadenfreude.

Also, I think the technical definition of rape involves being under the influence while having sex. At least that’s what it was in MA. Although, I think that it sexistly applied to women only. But we don’t know when he got drugged. Maybe they were having nightcap in bed after sex and she gave him “Alka-Seltzer”.

Show me a straight guy in a red sport jacket and I’ll show you a waiter.

Does any single part of this ring true to any single one of you?

1) How many people do you know who roll around with $50,000-120,000 in cash and prizes?

2) If you have close personal friends with that sort of bankroll, how many of them work at douchey Colorado plaintiffs’ firms?

3) When was the last time you heard of anyone being drugged and robbed at a Twin Cities bar?

Is it more likely that (a) this jagoff, of all people, really had all that loot with him and he met a lady in a bar with the drugs and inclination to drug him and she pulled it off? Or (b) he made the whole thing up?

The thing that really offending me about his date rape comment is that I have a friend that was actually raped after being slipped a roofie while on a date with a man she had no intention of sleeping with. Yes, being drugged an robbed is terrible and sad, but comparing it with date rape is beyond offensive to me.

I think journalists get into trouble by trying to be funny about things that happen to real people, as opposed to people in the public eye. This guy is a douche, he shouldn’t have been carrying so much expensive stuff, but he’s still just a guy. Whatever he said about taxes and war has nothing to do with him being drugged and robbed… it’s just a reporter making fun of him. Which is fine if he were famous… but he’s just a dude. It’s fine for all of us to mock him here, but maybe reporters should leave the comedy to Sheletta.

Jason

a douche is always a douche – no need to differentiate among the classes of celebrity. this guy in his own way thinks he is a already a celebrity, why would you bring your bling everywhere if you didn’t already have this demented guido douche mentality? have you seen his ads? SEE RED? the way he was speaking alone was a strong single of how self-important he felt he was.

if you don’t know how stupid it is to bring 120,000 dollars worth of diamonds into a hotel you have never been in, you more than likely already have a bad judgment into what you bring into your hotel room period. for all we know, this man could be affiliated with some underground money that he owed money to, who knew he was bringing this stuff in and wanted to get paid back. why is he the one, of all the broke, or smart douches out there, to get robbed.

think about that for a second. with that being said:

look at this tan, look at this suit, look at this belt baby!! amna go out and get some chicks tonight!!

Whatever he said about taxes and war has nothing to do with him being drugged and robbed

And Larry Craig was practicing his Riverdance.

And once again, I salute Bob Collins: Staunch defender of the rich, white, shriveled, limp penis.

So heroic.

Raindog66, if you’d taken the time to even read the piece, let alone think about it, you would realize that not once did I defend the actions the guy, nor his political beliefs.

If you had bothered to read the piece, you would see that it focused on the role of the journalist.

I wouldn’t have a problem with people on a bulletin board deciding who is worthy of legitimate news coverage and who is worthy of ridicule. I mean, what other purpose do boards serve if not to provide such a platform. My point is simply the newsrooms should serve it up straight, and let folks like you take it from there.

Reporters don’t need to be doing your job and, thank God, you’re not doing theirs.

Bob, it’s ok, you obviously are not familiar with our litte raindoggie. It’s not about facts or truth or ideas. It’s all about the outrage. No need to respond to anything raindog says. Just nod your head with gravitas and move on like you would if you spotted a homeless person taking a dump in a garbage can on Nicollet Mall.

Raindog has the bonus of being, from time to time, hillarious.

Usually at the expense of someone here.

Tru dat, but we all have earned that rap at some point.

From the PiPress:

The man, convention delegate Gabriel Nathan Schwartz, said in a written statement Tuesday that the items taken had a value of about $50,000, “not the inflated number that the media is reporting from an inaccurate police report.”

“It comes from him,” Minneapolis Police spokesman Sgt. William Palmer said of the higher figure. “We didn’t make that up.”

And:

In his written statement, Schwartz said the interview was a joke on a “little-known Internet outlet.”

“If Mr. Schwartz wants to joke, that’s his prerogative,” said Hamilton. “But I don’t think the right time to do it is while serving as a delegate on the floor of the RNC. Certainly, he had an off-the-cuff attitude about the interview, but the interview was on the camera, on the record and on the floor of the Xcel Center.”

Which is fine if he were famous… but he’s just a dude. It’s fine for all of us to mock him here, but maybe reporters should leave the comedy to Sheletta.

But…
Um…
Wait..
Er..
But I…
What the…

Nevermind.

Which is fine if he were famous

He has now achieved microcelebrity status. Cry havoc, and let slip the bloggers and snarkmasters. Tear ‘em up, boys.

every time an MSMer defends their honor on a discussion board on some far flung corner of the websphere, an angel gets his wings. or a kitten dies. i’ve never been good with cliches.

I just think somone @ the Pi Press saw the Nielsen ratings for Jon Stewart and the circ numbers for The Onion and decided that this story was just too juicy to allow it to trickle down. It wrote its own damn self.

Has anyone noticed that the BBC is getting kind of snarky (specifically BBC World News on MPR and BBC news on PBS/BBC America)?

The Brits do snark well, Ms. B.

I miss tuecer (sigh)

I think journalists get into trouble by trying to be funny about things that happen to real people, as opposed to people in the public eye. This guy is a douche, he shouldn’t have been carrying so much expensive stuff, but he’s still just a guy. Whatever he said about taxes and war has nothing to do with him being drugged and robbed… it’s just a reporter making fun of him. Which is fine if he were famous… but he’s just a dude. It’s fine for all of us to mock him here, but maybe reporters should leave the comedy to Sheletta.
»» Submitted by »»» jderusha at 9:57 PM on September 16

but he wasn’t just a guy. he was a delegate and representative of his political party who expressed extreme and incendiary ideas to the news media on the convention floor. it’s a minor story in and of itself and deserved to be included in the overall narrative. and I dont think the author of the pipress story really made fun of the guy (he didn’t, you know, call him a douche). the guy went out of his way to make a fool of himself.

I really like this story. And as much as I dont want to like this guy for what he said in that video or that he compared what happened to him to rape, or his decadence, or his total lack of judgment, he is someone so ridiculous that I cannot help but smile at his big dumb face.