Secrets of the City

Hey, I’m first!
Guess it’s the insomnia this morning. Obama’s speech and the looming RNC–which is bringing some old media friends of mine in town–kept playing over in my head. I’m so tired of politics!

What’s this thing about the Dutch and tiaras?

Oh man that’s brutal.

I don’t understand that blog.

And that wooden sceptre thing. What is that?
Course, the Germans have their own version.

Who else has a political hangover this morning? Anyone?

How do you know the difference between the political kind and the ordinary kind?

Yay! 3 day weekend! Woot.

In the ordinary kind, you feel sick to your stomach at the thought of food or drink.
In the political kind, you puke upon hearing phrases like “Change you can believe in” and “Country first.”

Obama did well. He even uttered ideas close to my heart, such as the idea that it takes more than just government and its programs to help children. It also takes parents.

Now that’s personal responsibility. Of course, some called his speech unabashedly liberal. I call bullocks on that one.

No political hangover for me. I watched Project Runway last night. The guy who got kicked off was a little bitch.

I think I went to homecoming with Jennifer 1989

Keith totally had it coming, KC.

I’m rooting for the Liberian girl. I decided right off to root for her, but it helps that she’s actually really good.

This really cheers me up on a sleep deprived morning.

I like a lot of them this year. Korto is beautiful and does amazing work. I assume she will be in the final. I also like Kenley and Leanne, they are my style, though I don’t think they will be in the finals. Jerell is someone who does good work, just not my style. I think he will be in the final too.

Keith totally had it coming, KC

You spoiler! I hadn’t had a chance to watch yet, what with all the political overindulgence and whatnot.

Man, that salmon croissant sandwich from French Meadow is extremely tasty even the next day for breakfast.

I’m embracing my inner old lady and crocheting an afghan. I’m half done and it’s real purty.

You better finish the last half before your stories come on.

Poor coal. It’s going to lose it’s job!

Kwatt, HA! I’ll put a kettle on and we can play canasta.

What is the deal with the Liberty Parade on Sunday?

I saw signs that Nicollet mall will be closed.

Obama had clean burning coal as part of his energy plan in the speech last night.

What do you think of Adam Newman? I think he’s trying to live up to what he thinks his father is, without really knowing him all that well. But I love his latest hire.

Anyone going to the Minneapolis Underground Film Festival this weekend? I just found out about it and I want to cancel all my plans to go. There is some amazing looking stuff being played.

I can’t see why a Republican would call a family-centric society “liberal.” I thought they believed in families, too. Oh, wait. This is the same party that espouses “smaller government” but which has, under two two-term administrations, greatly enlarged the size and reach of government.

Welcome to the MUFF. Indeed!

Obama had clean burning coal as part of his energy plan in the speech last night.

“Clean” coal is one reason why the air in the Land ‘o Lincoln is a stinkin!

Note this from the EPA report:

“Minnesota got some good news: The entire state meets air-quality standards for soot.”

Enough political talk! Is anyone going to do any type of happy hour thing next week? I could sure use a break, but the town is going to be a zoo!

Yes. Friday, September 5th, at Pyscho Suzi’s. 5 p.m. I’m going to meet with some former co-workers of mine. Any MNspeaker who wants to join in is always welcome.

I’m guessing DT mpls will be fairly quiet from 5:30 to 10:30 every night since that is when everyone will be over at the convention. Anyone know of any Bars having specials for locals with ID? Seems like a no-brainer deal. Show your MN ID and get happy hour prices from 6-10 pm.

Anyone see a “Bush drinks free with ID” sign yet?

Sarah Palin from Alaska for Buick McCain’s VP

so it’s officially official that pawlenty can stick with pissing off minnesotans

“Buick McCain.” Heh heh. Be my plane in the rain.

I think T-Paw as bigger aspirations and the Veep hasn’t been a very strong stepping stone as of late.

I bet McCain wins Alaska now.

Sarah Palin has a 4 1/2 month old baby. That’s crazy to me that she will want to put in that campaign schedule. She must be on some good post-partem meds, or something. Most moms I know just want to be at home hanging out with baby at that point.

Of course, most moms I know are only on baby #1, maybe baby #5 is different.

She’s younger and less experienced than Obama. What’s left for McCain?

I was really hoping he’d pick Joementum. Then, they’d act all like James Garner and Jack Lemmon in “My Fellow Americans.”

Sarah Palin has a 4 1/2 month old baby. That’s crazy to me that she will want to put in that campaign schedule.

How’s THAT going to play with the Focus on the Family crowd?

in other news david duchovny has turned himself into a rehab facility for sex addiction!

How come more celebrities don’t exploit this PR vein?

All I want to say in anyway political at this point is that Jack Bauer should be on full alert!

Focus on the Family crowd loves her. The child was tested as having Down Syndrome in utero, but she decided to have the child.

Of course, I love her for that too, and I’m pro-choice.

But that’s the only thing I love her for.

McCain McMilf 2008

Rep. Bachmann is headlining a fundraiser for Palin here in Minnesota. Bit of a coup for her, if the VP choice holds true…

While Palin has a reputation as a reformer, Alaska politics is a oily mess of Big Oil corruption scandals. Expect Gov. Palin to be portrayed as a pawn of the Big Oil Overlords….

All that said, selecting a female VP candidate shows some imagination I didn’t expect from Old Navy.

grote- she is totally a MILF.

I might get addicted to s*x if I were married to Tea Leoni, especially if it’s actually with Tea Leoni.

How’s THAT going to play with the Focus on the Family crowd?

Given the whole thing with the Downs Syndrome I don’t think they’ll put up a fuss.

I would have picked Chuck Norris, but nobody asked ME.

mcmilf?

she looks like the doc on the Sopranos

Thats what I am talking about kwatt…I guess you have to wait for the other hammer to drop (affair) but without that nugget….I just want to give the guy a high five.

is it me, or does mnblrmkr’s reflexive hating on every single thing the Repubs do seem a bit overdone? we get it, dave.

Palin’s husband is a champion snowmobile racer.

Well he had to go with someone younger thats a given…now we have super mom and father time…..it’s gonna get interesting.

She also vetoed a same sex partner benefit ban. Don’t think THAT is going to go over well. Seeing that the VA delegation had to cancel a guide book because it mentioned GLBT.

Her big experience before becoming Gov? Mayor of a town with 8,000 people. Not even 1/30th the people Obama represented in the Illinois State legislature.

bob, she also has a built in scandal: her sister is in the midst of a bitter custody battle. Palin had to admit that her aide pressured the State Patrol to fire her ex brother in law.

ryan- could he even find someone older if he wanted to?

well he does live in AZ…down there he’s probably considered a young whippersnapper.

she looks like the doc on the Sopranos

OMG she does! Domineering men with matriarcal psychosis finally have a candidate.

Palin’s husband is a champion snowmobile racer.

that ought to lock up MN and WI for McCain.

So are we looking at Alaska’s version of Michele Bachmann?

I wonder how long it’ll be before McCain/MILF bumper stickers show up on Cafe Press? I give it an hour.

No, I have seen her in interviews and she seems relatively lucid. This is as close to any other state having a Rep. Bachmann, and I’m not just playing possum.

Not political…

This is the most disturbing thing I’ve seen today. Elder abuse is just as heartbreaking as child abuse.

OMG DougieD you are correct; DT Mpls is going to be nice and quiet during the evenings next week, comparatively. I think a happy hour is a must. I’ll just toss out there Murray’s on Wednesday at 5:00.

DouglasG why should Jack Bauer be on full alert? I should understand the 24 reference, but I don’t!

This is the most disturbing thing I’ve seen today. Elder abuse is just as heartbreaking as child abuse.

And yet sometimes the penalties for elder abuse are less than those for animal abuse. wtf.

Well he had to go with someone younger thats a given…now we have super mom and father time…..it’s gonna get interesting.

How’s that going to look, 72 year old McCain standing in between 54 year old Cindy, and 44 year old Palin?

Maybe, if he could talk Condi into saying she’ll stay on as SoS, he can boast that he’ll have the top three spots at next year’s Miss Buffalo Chip pageant at Sturgis wrapped up.

Jane, I’m guessing he’s referring to the assassination plots of Sen/President Palmer?

Oh, duh.

Can we talk about tv instead of real life?

Will Jim ever marry Pam?

Is Jim going to demand Andy cough up the money for the fireworks?

Is Dwight going to slit Andy’s throat and stuff him in his freezer to win Angela back?

Are we EVER going to actually find out how he met their mother??

How will the 12th precinct carry on without Sgt. Yemana? Can Florida raise three kids on her own, in the face of temporary lay-offs and easy credit rip-offs? When will Mary Hartman finally just bed that sexy cop already?

And what about Big Love? Will I ever get to make out with Ginnifer Goodwin? And what will I do if my wife finds out?

in other news david duchovny has turned himself into a rehab facility for sex addiction!

How come more celebrities don’t exploit this PR vein?

Right-o! It’s perfectly timed, too – his TV series returns soon.

Abe Vigoda is still alive!!! And Generalissimo Fransisco Franco is still dead!

Oh, Fish.

That’s the nice thing about watching nothing but sitcoms of the 1970s. I already know the answers: they will, with exciting new detectives; yes, with help from Janet Jackson; and yes, towards the end of the first season. Thanks, Norman Lear!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ISLAND?

It turns out #6 was #2 the whole time, I’m pretty sure. No, wait, that’s not quite it…

Actually, I am dressed in chinos and a navy blazer with white piping and smoking a pipie at my desk today. Looking good, I might add.

Jerry Van Dyke’s mother was reincarnated as a car? How does that even make sense?

lol

Not tv, but is “burn after reading” going to be any good? casting looks good.

Wait – back to real-life politics for just a sec – did you see the video of freaking Pat Buchanan (of all people) swooning over Obama’s speech? (via Liberal Media Elite). His on-camera cohort actually had to cut him off and referred to it as “gushing.” I’m speechless. YAY Obama!

Wait – back to real-life politics for just a sec – did you see the video of freaking Pat Buchanan (of all people) swooning over Obama’s speech? (via Liberal Media Elite). His on-camera cohort actually had to cut him off and referred to it as “gushing.” I’m speechless. YAY Obama!

Seeing as he’s apparently blind as a bat, I think he mistook Obama for Alan Keyes.

I’m not surprised by Buchanan’s comments for some reason.

ACME just called, I advanced to semis in the Funniest Person In The Twin Cities contest and I’m performing next Friday at 1030 (ugh, that’s so late). I’m about the 12th seed out of 25. Yippie! Hit me up on email [my first name]040607 [at] gmail If you want tickets. I’ve got 20.

Andyst, hilarious refs to Good Times. I am wondering if Rerun is ever going to catch up to that truck he’s running behind.

BTW, did Ann Romano and Schneider ever hook up?

That’s awesome, Bix.

Wewt, good news, Bix! Congrats and good luck!

Good on ya’, Bix!

Whaddaya mean 10:30 is late? That’s you’re “just getting started” time.

Break both legs, Bix.

Here’s a political joke you can steal:

“So McCain has picked the Governor of Alaska as his running mate….Now we know the man is serious about winning the Black vote!”

Here’s a followup:

“Well, we knew he couldn’t pick our own Governor Pawlenty, because of the bridge that fell down….of course in Alaska, the bridges go nowhere, so its no big deal if they fall down…”

Andyst, hilarious refs to Good Times. I am wondering if Rerun is ever going to catch up to that truck he’s running behind.

Er, Rerun was on What’s Happening!! (exclamation points part of the show’s title, as I recall). Loved that show so much, I even watched What’s Happening Now.

I did too! Even though I could tell it was awful, and I was young with low standards. (I mean, I watched Apple’s Way, for crying out loud.)

Didn’t Dee have some catchphrase, like “Uh-UHhh” ?

1030 is late because a. I’ll be tired from work and b. everyone in the audience is drunk off their ass and will miss the subtle humor in my routine, sinking my chances of winning, unless I just get up and tell The Aristocrats because they’ll laugh at anything lewd. Nah, I’m too lazy to rewrite my routine. I added a few more jokes and that’s that.

I remember Dee saying “Ooooooh” a lot, as in I’m telling Mama unless you (Rog) give me a quarter/dollar, etc.

Favorite line: “Hi, I’m Roger Thomas, which Doobie you be?”

I really liked the ‘Fish’ show, too.

Bixby, maybe you could work MNSpeakers into ‘the Aristocrats’. “So Raindog, Maz and Marsh walk into a talent agent’s office…”

Nice day. The Rat my Ride His Bicycle this afternoon.

What you talkin’ ’bout Willis?

Congrats Bix, knock em ded.

@spells

Who says I haven’t already worked MNSpeakers into my routine?

I hear the judges like it when you say black people are like this and white people are like that. I don’t know that for certain, it is just what I hear…

Unrelated note, this could be interesting. I’m all for artists making stuff.

Oh god, I greased the dolphin. Sorry!!!!!!

I think “greasing the dolphin” sounds like a euphamism for wanking.

is anyone liveblogging critical mass tonight?

grote, if by ‘live blogging’ you mean ‘avoiding at all costs’ I’m doing the latter.

Kwatt: it totally does. But in MNspeakese it means “killed the thread.”

Where is critical mass? I am biking home today, was going to run an errand on the way, and nothing against critical mass specifically, but I don’t like crowds and want no part of this.

Huh?

Kwatt: it totally does. But in MNspeakese it means “killed the thread.”

Thanks for defining that expression. I was totally scratching my head. Still am a little, actually, but at least I know what it’s supposed to mean…

BTW, what was that link supposed to be, Jane?

O, please don’t let it be political art…

My delicate constitution can’t handle anymore. And it’s not even RNC time yet!

I was greasing the dolphin during the Palin speech. Wait, what? Oh. Who did? They have rehab for that? Good god, man, why?

That’s the nice thing about watching nothing but sitcoms of the 1970s. I already know the answers: they will, with exciting new detectives; yes, with help from Janet Jackson; and yes, towards the end of the first season. Thanks, Norman Lear!

Andyst, who are you trying to kid? You weren’t even alive in the 70s!

Here is what the link Jane posted (There is more, but this is the meat of it.):

WHAT:

Chambers, the award-winning luxury art hotel, will literally overflow with art as artists from Juxtaposition Arts use chalk and watercolors to transform the sidewalk in front of the hotel. Juxtaposition Arts student, Cateisha Pierson, will create the piece themed around a celebration of Minnesota with assistance from other members of the youth-focused visual arts organization.

In addition to the street art, the hotels Burnet Art gallery is showcasing politically inspired art in its latest exhibition, Important if True (Hootenanny in E).

VISUAL:

A colorful, fun, visual for print as well as early morning news broadcasts. Cameras can capture the artists in action as well as the street scene from the hotels 5th floor rooftop balcony or from the street level itself.

WHEN:

* Tuesday, Sept. 2, 2008
* Artists will create the piece between 6:30 and 10 a.m. (Set-up will begin at 5:30 a.m.)

WHERE:

Chambers, 901 Hennepin Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55438, 612-767-6900

I was alive for two months in the 1970s, thank you.

Funny, that’s not what came up on my computer.

I was alive for two months in the 1970s, thank you.

Oh, my mistake.
As you were…

Thanks DougG!

Andyst, for the record, I am vying for the Least Interested in Politics Award so I would never ever send some dumb political link.

Jane, you’re a hero.

Sometimes I think Andyst and Arthappy are in the same room, communicating only via MNspeak threads

Thanks, Andyst! Political stuff just angries up my blood, or it would if I paid attention to it. So I don’t.
Jane: 1, Politics: 0

Speaking of MUFF, did you guys know they’ve made a couple of documentary films of Mnspeakers in meetings? (Part 1, Part 2; tip o’ the nod to that window tosser guy for the link.)

Sometimes I think Andyst and Arthappy are in the same room, communicating only via MNspeak threads

Wait. What?

Oh shit, she’s on to us!

Oh dear, those are NSFW. I will look at them when I go home.

Yeah, sorry. I should have warned. Potty mouth city.
They’re funny though, and hit way too close to home…

What’s this room that Andy and I are in?

I left early for the long weekend, and am at home with all the ingredients for an aviation: Plymouth, Luxardo, lemon, cocktail cherries. I’ll have a report soon.

I think one of you mentioned you work together, but you are artists or art writers or something. So you work in a storefront somewhere doing that, and also check in with MNspeak throughout the day.

Kurtis: sounds great!

I think one of you mentioned you work together, but you are artists or art writers or something. So you work in a storefront somewhere doing that, and also check in with MNspeak throughout the day.

Ok, phew. Andy and I only work together virtually. I live and work by day in St. Paul, and since Andy’s never actually been to St. Paul I was very confused for awhile.

I left early for the long weekend, and am at home with all the ingredients for an aviation: Plymouth, Luxardo, lemon, cocktail cherries. I’ll have a report soon.

Nice, Kurtis! I will be expecting a full review, since I’ve gone out on a limb to proclaim that the Aviation is the universe’s best cocktail. You can be honest if I’ve set the bar too high, but I think the way the botanicals interact in this drink is astounding. And you’ve inspired me to make one tonight too! Cheers to you man, and happy weekend to all of you dialogue-loving sons of guns!

Ha! Were that only the case!

We “work” together only in the sense of being Rake bloggers.

But what a storefront we would have.

No doubt. Our storefront would be that Toots Maytal of storefronts!

Yo, I’m having an argument with some people on Jezebel who believe that Alaska is more diverse than Minnesota, this is what they said:

MN: 87% white, 4% black, 4% hispanic, 3% asian, 1% native American. [en.wikipedia.org]
AK: 69% white, 16% native american, 7% mixed race. [en.wikipedia.org]

And this is what I said.

St. Paul has the largest population of Hmong people in the country and Minneapolis has the largest population of Somalians. Additionally, there are ton of Liberians here, never mind other ethnic groups including Native Americans and Latinos. Alaska may have a larger percentage of the population that is not non-white but 16% of that comes from one ethnic group. I’m still going to contend that Minnesota is more diverse than Alaska.

Please confirm for me what I already know.

Actually, we both work together in this storefront, on the Lower East Side of St. Paul:

Oh that’s right, I forgot.
It’s a good place. The rent is a little ongapatchka, and the landlord he’s a kakameyme sheygets that gets a little shpilkes sometimes, but I can’t kvetsch.

Re: The Toots Maytal of…

Toots Hibbert is the name of the lead singer of Toots and the Maytals.

And the Maytals would go great with this aviator or lindbergh or whatever it’s called. Hic.

But hey, happy labor day mnspeak. This aviation is for you.

Well, really it’s for ME, but I’ll think about you while I’m sipping it.

:sip: Mmm. Kinda mediciney, but still…. :gulp: I can live with this. Or these.

I feel like I did when I met my wife. Like I’m meeting an old, dear friend for the first time.

There were two helicopters hovering over DT Mpls. I guess they are RNC-related and will be there for the next several days?
(Is there a MASH reference that can be made here? 70s tv and all.)

Kurtis that drink looks great and your description of it + your wife is very poetic.

Andyst: great, now I want a knish. Thanks a lot! Oh wait, I’m in SLP, I bet I can find one here, right?

Arthappy, that’s just meshuggeneh.

Yes, that’s a very poetic assessment, Kurtis.
I was just goofing on the Toots…
And on the Yiddish…
I want a knish too!

This is one of my favorite songs (of the many) by Toots & the Maytals.
I was riffing on Taj Mahal = Toots Maytal. Admittedly, a pisspoor witticism, at best. I’m no Andyst!
So, just to make sure, you do like the Aviation, Kurtis?
Happy Labor Day weekend everybody!

This is the record the Kingsmen heard but couldn’t make out the words and thus made history…

Oh, come on now, Kurtis, You could at least have linked to the Richard Berry version. He wrote it after all. It was inspired by “El Loco Cha Cha,” (originally a popular Cuban song called “Amarren Al Loco”), although lyrically he borrowed heavily from “Havana Moon” by Chuck Berry (not related.)

You should also shame me for not having Cream de Violette in my Aviation, Max.

I don’t even want to start on your Aviation cocktail.

You’re right, though. Wikipedia tells me the Regal People’s version was out before Mr. Hibbert’s. I read some damned lie on some damned liner notes on some damned import.

I don’t even want to start on your Aviation cocktail.

I think without the Creme de Violette it’s called a “Wallaby.”

Only if you substitute vodka for gin.

I was kidding, but now I find out there’s a drink called a Wallaby that’s made with peach brandy, lime juice, grenadine, and something called Dubonnet. Sounds disgusting.

In the same book, the proportions for the Aviation are: a lot more lemon, a lot less maraschino, and no creme de violette.

In mixing cocktails, my only truth is, if you like it, then it’s good. (I don’t think you need Creme de Violette in your Aviation.)

I don’t think you need Creme de Violette in your Aviation, but other people may disagree. I’m okay with that…

Hey, it strikes me that there should be some sort of mnspeak cocktail club gathering from time to time. A chance to show off and try each other’s self-touted recipes.

Strictly an academic exercise, of course… Non-cocktailians invited to buy in (purely to cover costs of alcohol)…