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We can be proud of our bad writing

submitted by Max Sparber

Aug 15 2008 — 2:00am

A Minnesota man has won a nod from a prominent contest that annually recognizes the worst in fiction writing.

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8 Reader Comments

msparber Aug 15 2008
1:38 pm

Here’s what he wrote:

“The hardened detective glanced at his rookie partner and mused that who ever had coined the term ‘white as a sheet’ had never envisioned a bed accessorized with a set of Hazelnut, 500-count Egyptian cotton linens from Ralph Lauren complimented by matching shams and a duvet cover nor the dismembered body of its current occupant.”

Which is pretty excellent.

aliecat Aug 15 2008
1:40 pm

That has got to be the longest sentence in the english language.

christin Aug 15 2008
1:41 pm

I’ve been having fun with this all day!

Here’s mine:

Tuscan Jake thought he had seen it all up until the point that hot and steamy August afternoon when he opened the door to apartment 3F on the Upper West Side when a young Jewess decided it would be a million dollar idea to lop off her husbands head with a rotto rooter and then hang herself with some chicken wire the kind used to restrain fighting birds in cock fights behind the Korean grocer down on the Bowry&

Ang Aug 15 2008
1:41 pm

That has got to be the longest sentence in the english language.

I thought you read Gawker.

aliecat Aug 15 2008
1:45 pm

Ang, touche! I’ve been skimming a lot lately, though. I think the gawker wad is spent for the time being.

DouglasG Aug 15 2008
1:52 pm

For those interested, the winning entries can be found here. Good stuff!

Bixby Aug 15 2008
2:35 pm


I thought you read Gawker.

Oh no you di’n't!

kurtis Aug 15 2008
7:55 pm

That contest isn’t really about bad writing, it’s about good writing within a really specialized genre.