Secrets of the City

There once was a plant in Saint Paul,
that made pickup trucks for y’all.
Coleman cried foul, the mayor said “ow!”
and now its not closing after all!

PS: Expect Norm’s new “He saved the Ford plant” commercial in 5, 4, 3, 2…

This one’s ’bout the mother of Teucer
Who squeezes balls like she’s a juicer
She’ll do it any way
And she’s into roll play
And the best part is anyone can use ‘er

There was an old farmer who sat on a rock…drinking his whiskey and stroking his…
guitar with songs of the old days of yore…along came a woman who looked like a…
lovely young woman and walked like a duck…said she discovered a new way to…
vote for her candidate, Norm, Jesse, or Al. If you think any of them will help…you fucking sick, Pal.

If I’d used the correct spelling of role it would have been better. Actually, it works either way.

Unfortunate news from Denver…cops there will not be using goo guns or the rumored “brown note” device to control protestors during the DNC.

Expect Norm’s new “He saved the Ford plant” commercial in 5, 4, 3, 2…

God knows it’d be more legitimate than the “I saved the Ford plant” commercial from the mayor or the other senator.

My grandma just called me at work and was talking to me about the MNSpeakers she met last night.

She refers to Teucer as “Your Little Gun Shooting Friend” (who she thought was very nice and helpful. They talked about MNSpeak for a while last night!)

She also refers to Max as “Your Other Little Gun Shooting Friend” (because she wanted to know where he was).

Please use these nicknames liberally, I know my family will.

How influencial the first-term senator from Minnesota actually was in Ford’s decision may be a matter of debate, but your point is well taken.

He was very focal and public about saving the plant and it’s 1,000 jobs, more so than Al or Amy.

However, the other Coleman has been very vocal and active on this front too, so I think your criticism misses the mark, octane. It’s a win for both. Bipartisan agreement — can you dig it?

God knows it’d be more legitimate than the “I saved the Ford plant” commercial from the mayor or the other senator.

Our democrat mayor and city council had already promised that land to their condo developer friends. And the environmentalists had been promised they’d be able to open their candle and t-shirt shops with small business grants from the city.

But Norm said, “No, we need to replace those 1500 jobs.”

The dems said “Why? they can get government jobs!”

Norm rolled his eyes and flew to Detroit.

Is Grandma Bixby implying that Teucer and Max are little, or that their guns are little?

Bixby’s grandma reminded me of this little limerk, which I heard in basic training (it is recited in public by the first poor SOB who calls his weapon a “gun”):

This is my rifle (presents arms)
This is my gun (grabs and holds croutch area)
One is for fighting
the other’s for fun..

The guy I saw had to stand at attention, shouting that phrase over and over, doing the gestures every time. Two drills hovered nearby to make sure he did it right.

To this day, I always call it a “rifle.”

I don’t know what my grandma was referring to, especially since Teucer had to awkwardly lean over to talk to her while they were walking, since she’s about 4′11.

Bipartisan agreement — can you dig it?

NO.

Kevie no can haz bipartizanships.

Well, then dig this, Iowa boy. Yesterday, I visited my first Hy-Vee in Marshall, MN and had lunch at the deli. It was both great and inexpensive. Thanks for the tip, MNspeakers!

Good for you!

Who broke twitter?

Not really Minnesota news, but interesting. Billionaires Band To Ban Butts.

A nice social worker who’s named Mother Bixby
Makes super desserts and I asked if she’d fix me
Up with a recipe for what I call Cake-Pie
Next day, you know that I surely did make my
Fruit filling, cake topping, too-buttery mix-y

I first heard this on Jason’s Station. Fox News thought the quote was funny, too.

I expect to be at the Bulldog by 5 pm. Anyone who knows the secret handshake can join my wife and me for burgers and beer.

Does anyone know where I can get good mac and cheese downtown? I really want it for lunch.

Can’t make it, unfortunately. Have fun!

How about that apron place in the Lumber Exchange, across the hall from Trieste? What is it called? The Kitchen Table, the Baker’s Apron? Anyway, I know they have a good grilled cheese, so maybe also mac & cheese.

Do they have a Noodles & Co? I like their Wisconsin Mac & Cheese.

Why is CJ on Gawker?

New York Media and/or Important Media: FAIL.

@Jane: Good call!

@Bixby – 8th Street Grill has good mac & cheese. Cavatappi noodles, too. Mmmm.

agreed…8th street is great for M&C, and you can get ham & broccoli in it as well. plus VG draft beer selection and a really good cheap barber across the hall…if that’s your sort of lunch thing.

Fisher kits! Who doesn’t like Fisher kits?

@Jane Nevermind, no mac and cheese there.

In times as tense as these,
We all need some levity, please!
Grab a bike (and a Burley)
And a case of cold Surly,
And add extra butter to the mac-n-cheese.

The world is almost too serious to have room for seriousness…

Amen, Brother Nateek.

Hey are there any decent flea markets or tag sales in the Metro Area this weekend or next? I’d do thrift stores, but I’m kind of in a bargaining mood.

So, is anyone going to the Bulldog after work?

There’s a MNSpeaker named DouglasG
At the Bulldog tonight will we see?
I say with a sigh
Not going — FYI
I’m just to much a busy bee.

Angela and I are going. Angela being my mrs. who’s posted exactly once to mnspeak and met exactly two mnspeakers so far (Bix and Nateek)

Ahem…. How soon they forget!

At 4:00 I do have a meeting
At the Bulldog I soon will be eating,
An ale or to two later,
And smelling of ‘tater,
My own pub advice I’ll be heeding.

I might be gone before MNspeakers arrive, but if not, see you in a bit.

Oh, right! We’ve both met DouglasG, but that was a different context… the kind of context where CIOs use words like “advantagement.”

there once was a gal named hilary
I asked if her face hurt, then i said “well it’s killing me”
she lost to Barack
it left her in shock
and now she might need plastic surgery

Well, if no one I’ve met yet is there, I won’t know who to look for.

I’ll be there probably around 5:15-5:30. I’ll have a black/gold/purple messenger bag, so if you see it, grab me.

There was a young woman named Bixby
Who said to her gun-totin’ friends” “Please fix me”
So the armed themselves with care
The guns they were to bare
And shot her in the ass quite quickly

Dang, mnblrmkr. I don’t know how many times I’m gonna miss meeting you, but I’m out for this eve.

I have an AA meeting. No bulldog for me tonight.

g rote is a limmerick genius.

Christine I’m flattered but keep this between us
but g rote’s not a limerick genius
though he’d buy you some drinks
if he were to think
there’s a chance you might play with his

A failed limericist name Kurtis,
Never knows what the right word is.
Critics do opine
that he doesn’t quite rhyme
and the scansion, they said, it does hurt us.

I pulled out a word.