Secrets of the City

Making up haikus
Is more fun than leaving work
Biking home now. Bye!

I posted a Pieku
Recipe for a fried pie.
In some thread last week.

Feeling like a God,

A cyclist glares through his Oakleys,

At beige minivans.

Take out the word “his.” That will make the middle verse 7 syllables and sufficiently elegant.

I peddle my life

@The Rat Sexist.

I peddle my life
forward towards the podium
yellow jersey days

Peddle could mean a seller of small items and trinkets.

With haiku you have to think lean and elegant. Make every word tell with no ambiguity.

And God’s spokes
shine brilliant in sunshine
on your left!

Get off my damn road
you stupid bicyclist!
I hope you get hit!

Put down the cell phone
Angry driver behind me
Smell flowers with me

please don’t honk at me
I have every right to bike
on the fucking road

gas prices too high
pedaling is free and fun
and stops climate change

wish i owned a bike
would peddle to second job
alas i do not

Poor little driver
Stuck behind a line of cars
While I pedal by

Running is hard enough
No bike in budget for now
blisters on my feet

take out is – shoot.

Biking to Blackbird
Sunday morning to have brunch
Who wants to join me?

Brunch sounds like a treat
But I wonder where to find
This here Blackbird place

Open Thread is up/
Brunch plans moving over there/
Bike haikus stay here

Running to Blackbird
Will not bail this time for reals
Might hurl on sidewalk

Off to work I go
Change of clothes and lunch in tow
Cedar Lake Trail beckons

beckons –> calls

my tight lycra shorts
careless whispers in the dark
two wheeled freedom reigns

Miller, you can’t plagerize Wham!.

All criticisms
Must be in haiku format
You air-head bimbo.

(jitterbug)

(jitterbug)

Teucer’s quick thinking
Posted his before I did
That old rat bastard!

lrt bike trail
sadly now has a detour
near shady oak bridge

My wheels on the street
Are better than yours, car boy.
Watch me run the red.

bite my ass teucer
need wham stickers for my bike
once i have a bike

That fucking song is
stuck in my head forever
Damn you miller. Ass.

tis hard to avoid
an artist so prolific
who’s used all the words

if you need a bike
check the curbs of the suburbs
on trash days, those fools

MB on a bike?
That’s all backwards; she takes the
Man Train like usual.

On June 26th
Bikes can be purchased at the
Police auction here

Wow Teucer sharp claws
must be grumpy do to bike
seat up his rear end

do / due

damn

you should try craigslist
lots of bikes for very cheap
hail the interwebs!

oh, but one short hour
until I may ride my bike
fuck y’all, it’s fun time

Loves ‘lectric trains
Yes, that’s our Waynes
Often complains

also on craigslist
is tiger Steve who sells bikes
I hardly trust him.

biking and fashion
can be quite tricky to mix
pencil skirts don’t work

Blackbird, pleasant ride
Down the Bryant Ave bike lane
Hill near 50th

pelted with hard rocks
alone on midtown greenway
asshole kids live near

oh please do mix them
pencil skirts and bikes, I mean
I would be happy

to the japanese
motorized two-wheeled rides
are spoken “bai-ku”

Andy, oh Andy
bikes anywhere in a suit
looking fabulous

I’m not ambitious
I opt for shorts and flip-flops
arriving sweaty

Girl on coaster bike
Clueless, stopped and turned mid-trail
Had to slam on brakes

Wool suit on bike date
Looking dapper with cravat
And spreading back stain

30-pack of Hamms
From Chi-Lake in side basket
Bike will tumble o’er

I live in Saint Paul
I can bike to Sunday Brunch
It ain’t so easy.

Wool suit on bike date
Looking dapper with cravat
And spreading back stain

andy hot on bike
looking for relief from sweat
use cleavage cooler

(jane that’s for you!)

Dark suits hide sweat stains
Musky exertion delights
Bike-riding ladies

“Hi ladies,” I cry
“I am not clad in spandex”
Sweat is a small price

Please give me a ride
I’ll climb on your handle bars
and ding your bell twice

I was thinking today
I should try cleavage cooler
might make bust lumpy

I’m glad to be bi,
No crisis at sight of taut,
Genderless lycra

Thoughts of lumpy breasts
Covered in taut blue lycra
It’s been a good day!

I’m glad to be bi,
No crisis at sight of taut,
Genderless lycra

and with that poem
i take back every word said
about teucer’s mom

Cyclist with grey beard
rubernecks at campus nymphs
pole, meet face!

the poem! he said
gives too much information
overshare in verse

Previous biaku
Not at all self-reveling
saw it yesterday

Oh whatevs, Miller,
Lycra confusion leaves you
Feeling derailleured.

Bob’s face-post Baiku
Is a clear benefit for
Working at the U

Not for grey beard
the impact was jarring
he was oK tho

checked thesaurus
to decipher last message
lack knowledge of gears

damn

“checked a thesaurus”

Does bi on a bike
Mean a freaky-three way ride
Or riding happy

Don’t worry Miller
Happens to the best of us
Get back on the bike

Last one in office
Spreading ethanol Cologne
Lights out soon

haiku can be hard
but much easier for Cat
for she is asian

Hats off to Miller
Nicely done except one thing
Raised by the Irish

it’s in the blood, Cat
although you’re not Japanese
the countries are close

To bad this is not
A limerick type of thread
Cat would do better.

I am Baiku judge
bring baikus to BIKE ON booth
by four on sunday

The whole of this thread
Counts as one awesome haiku
We’re all winners here

Challenged by dougnuts
I must veer off the haiku
End with limerick

There was a young man on a bike
Whose preference was neither a jill nor a mike
So he rode with great glee
At the thought that might he
Be able to ride both as he liked

Enjoy limericks
No talent for writing them
Cat shows real talent

Back on topic now?
Biking home from work I love
Sunshine on my face

With tight, gritted teeth

Eyes stung by the flying dust

Biker fights to beat storm

Superlatively,
done, are the baiku’s?
Great limerick Cat.

Jane and Doug on bikes
Cat and mb with bacon
Breakfast was deelish

A freaky four way
With Jane, Cat, MB and Me
I made it home safe!