Secrets of the City

Maybe on your birthday!

Sweet. Saw this on Autoblog Green yesterday. Make mine flex-fuel and turbo-powered, please.

Oh, and an “Ironman” suit for flying around later….

That is so Marvel Comics! I can be a super-villain and fight Spiderman!

I’m already a supervillian in too many comic book minds in these parts. Like Tony Stark, I need to re-invent myself into a new persona.

Perhaps I can start by saving Minnesota of the menace of Renegade Ethanol!

does that thing have to stop @ stop signs?

I just want this sweatshirt.

Someone from the IRS should jerk this church’s tax free status. It’s campaigning for Obama

The Rat hopes that before the end of the season the Chicago Cubs fold like a cheap accordion.

Huh? I thought Obama was a muslim?

Any church that participates in politics should lose the tax free status, but that ain’t gonna happen. Every once in a while you see someone put out as a scapegoat so the rest can say, “See, the rest of us are clean, it’s just those bad apples.”

And I”m not saying all churches do it. But many of them do.

Um, let’s save this discussion for a political thread, hmmmm, okay?

flight of the bumble bee

“, let’s save this discussion for a political thread, hmmmm, okay?“

Ok, sorry.

I want a wearable motorcycle, and I want it NOW!

Here ya go, yoder.

“Here ya go, yoder.”

I don’t know about those things. They just seem too unstable.

Huh? I thought Obama was a muslim?
»» Submitted by mazasa at 7:55 AM on May 30

God you’re an idiot, dennis tester.

I opened up the napkin drawer this morning and all that was in it was a hot pad. I was like, is this some kind of sick joke?

They just seem too unstable.

So am I, but that hasn’t prevented me from having a productive life and career.

The Rat hopes that before the end of the season the Chicago Cubs fold like a cheap accordion.

why would you say something like that, rat?

A giant robot in space. Little robots vacuuming houses all over. Now this? The Robapocalypse is nigh! All that has to happen to cinch it is for the Cubs to win the World Series. That is a sure sign the end is upon us!

Chicago Cubs? Don’t they play soccer or something?

I want a solar-powered robot that will mow my lawn. But I could buy a baby for that much, so I’ll just have to settle for converting my regular push mower to solar and actually walking behind it. NO!!!

The Rat seems to dislike things to do with Chicago.

1. Obama
2. The Cubs

I expect future comments to take on deep dish pizza, Sears Roebuck, and Wilco.

I guess wearing a robot suit would be a nice change of pace from what I usually wear, which is Oliver’s mom.

Comcast domain p0wnage:

“Both say they’ve been raided by law enforcement before. ‘I slept in my clothes, because the last time they came, I was in my underwear with my dong hanging out and shit,’ says Defiant.”

I want this shirt. Although I think there are a number of people I may gift it to who would appreciate/deserve it more than I do.

I think Obama is south side Chicago. Wouldn’t that put him with the Sox?

ok, kurtis … no.
that was yesterday.

erica, I saw a girl wearing that shirt a few weeks ago.
I really want one.

I expect future comments to take on deep dish pizza, Sears Roebuck, and Wilco.

The founder of Sears was from Minnesota.

I want to share with everyone that I just figured out how to set tabs in In Design, a few weeks after I figured them out in Word.

re: Comcast domain p0wnage

“I wish I was a minor right now because this is going to be really bad.”

Understatement? Nah.

wayne, please clarify. do you want that shirt or do you want a girl?

I guess wearing a robot suit would be a nice change of pace from what I usually wear, which is Oliver’s mom.

Too bad Oliver’s the robot suit isn’t as fast as Teucer’s mom though.

I think Obama is south side Chicago. Wouldn’t that put him with the Sox?

meh. obama’s not *from* chicago. just moved there for a job.

It’s not the Cubs I hate, it’s their ^%#*$)^(^(*^#@# fans.

Remove Oliver from that sentence.

Where’s my coffee???

I want a tee shirt that says “Hi, I’m a total douchebag.” Oh, cool, here’s one that says just that.

oh hell I just went and ordered that shirt.

but I’ve already got a girl, geoff.

the bike one, not the obama one.

I don’t think Osama loves Obama.

See: I can be fair.

I’ll say it again – poor Tuecer’s mom. It’s hard to get so much action and not even know about it. Sheesh.

I’m guessing that said T’s mom is not a fan of MNspeak?? Cuz’ if she is, I
think everyone is grounded.

My lungs hurt just looking at that bong hit Defiant’s about to consume. ouch………..

Why don’t they show the back of that bike shirt, where it says “I’m A Wimp”

So Wayne, are you going to tell us more about this “girl”?

Also, how’s your grandma?

In that case, there are a boat load of churches that should lose their status for campaigning. A fair number of them campaigning for Team Conservative.

I’ll say it again – poor Tuecer’s mom. It’s hard to get so much action and not even know about it. Sheesh.

There’s a joke in there, somewhere, but I’m just not sure how to word it.

OMG! Wayne’s dating Oliver’s mom!!!

Hey, you keep your religion and politics out of my open thread damn it. I keep my bacon out of your politics.

Let’s give teucer’s mom a break today, shall we? I know she’s well broke in and open threads naturally remind us of how easy she disrobes, but there have to be better topics to talk about.

Like LOST and how KSTP’s digital signal help up solid through the rain and clouds so I could watch all those great breast and cleavage shots in HD.

no … no I’m not.

Shite – I see a whole buncha jokes in my one statement – dang! It’s too early for me to be participating so I can’t be held responsible.

Is it one of these girls, Wayne?

Jus’ joshin’ ya know.

In the spirit of an Open Thread, here’s a link that made me laugh.

dennis, you’re a fucking idiot. just leave us alone.

cat, grandma was moved home to finish her days. she hasn’t had anything to eat or drink in days so it’s going to be very soon.

and no, I’m not sharing the details of my dating life on mnspeak. that would be … stupid.

did that “Osama loves Obama” t-shirt really need to get stamped with “Made in the USA”. I mean, really, does anyone have less clever rednecks than we do?

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my life. I love you.’ Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s house for the night when my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, ‘What’s for dinner, Batman?’

This post at Whistleblower doesn’t conjur up that many feelings in me one way or the other, but I do wonder how some of those homeowners might react if I brought my family out there for a picnic in what does really look like somebody’s backyard. Maybe I’ll go out there to tan. It looks pretty quiet.

Kevin, I could talk about Lost, but I bet there’s a buncha people who haven’t seen it yet, so maybe it will be fun to make up fake stuff about what didn’t happen on Lost. Like how now Locke can walk, but only on his hands.

Here’s a synopsis of the entire series. They nailed it!

I’m almost finished with disk 3 of season 2. So, no lost talk!!

Psst, Doug — they get lost.

Wayne: That’s a rough go – I’m sorry to hear. Hopefully it will be as peaceful and painless as possible… for everyone. I’ll be thinking of ya’.

Not a lot of info on “The Girl” – it must be going well?

Uh, Jane & Mb, my “Friend” was wondering if you’re doing the slacker yoga class this eve?

“Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, “

Just sent that one to my wife. She’ll get a kick out of it.

Others? (link safe for work and LOST)

I was conversing about the show yesterday, talking about how the ratings have steadily declined since the first season, but I wonder how many people there are like Douglas who are catching up with the show. I probably know as many people doing that as I do who watch it week to week.

IM Conversation:

[09:22] JACC: Rachel Ray kills kittens
[09:22] Seanh: Republican christian kittens
[09:24] JACC: Nods, the cutest kind

Regarding this

Kevs: Or do like I do with friends – someone buys the season and then watch marathon episodes – it’s the best way to watch it. I hate waiting every week for a new episode.

We will watch this season when it come out on DVD. We cannot commit to watching Lost on a weekly basis, we have a life and no DVR. I know we can watch on the internet, but that sucks too. I’d rather watch the whole season in a weekend or two.

Cat: I forgot, I have a (non-yoga) class tonight until 9:00pm. The class is great, but I was sad when I realized I can’t go to lazy yoga tonight. I have class the next 3 Fridays, so wouldn’t be available until Friday, June 20 at the earliest.

I could go to the 9:00 am class tomorrow morning, if anyone is interested.

we have a life and no DVR

Not sure about the “having a life” part, but we too don’t have a DVR.

But we do watch LOST every week thanks to this, the poor man’s DVR.

Kids, you ever seen one of these?

I tried to get into Lost, but it bored me to tears. How many times do they have to show the same scene from a different camera angle? How about moving the story along?

It was like reading “Alley Oop” where the first two panels every day retell what happened the day before.

I want this shirt. Although I think there are a number of people I may gift it to who would appreciate/deserve it more than I do.

In Lakeville the other day, I saw a sailboat with a For Sale sign on it with the note “1,000 MPG!!!”

I still may do the lazy yoga class this eve – it’s in the dark – my fave!
What’s tomorrow’s class like? I need supa lazy as I’ve been trying to pick up my running schedule and bendability is not at its peak.

Where’s the 9am tomorrow? Yoga Center or Core?

I’m not ashamed to say I became a little tearful a few times during the LOST episode last night.

In homage to the link in last week’s open thread, more dancing at Best Buy.

I think I know the scene you’re talking about, and I did too. I also fuond myself tensing my own muslces during the scene with the frozen donkey wheel.

huh?

lazy yoga in the dark…is that like “lights-out missionary”?

We have a VCR, but I don’t know how to use it. Sad, I know. My cjc has everything hooked up goofy. It took three months to learn how to turn the TV sound on if it was off.

We have a VCR, but I don’t know how to use it. Sad, I know. My cjc has everything hooked up goofy. It took three months to learn how to turn the TV sound on if it was off.

please log off immediately.

Cat- I have a last minute birthday dinner at Laredo’s tonight. Sorry! I”m not sure how lazy this class is based on a comment from an instructor this week. I won’t be able to check it out for a few weeks either…

Grote, its a little early to be in the gutter no? Wait, what am I saying.

@kc! your cjc needs this (as do I):

I’ve been trying to pick up my running schedule and bendability is not at its peak.

No doubt. I’m about as limber as a piece of burnt bacon these days.

I’m doing my first triathlon this Sunday. I’m thinking I’ll wear my tight-fitting, sweat wicking, “I’m bringing bixby black” running shirt.

In honor of MNspeak, I plan to:

A. Swim like maz: ruthless, me-first, entitled swimming
B. Bike like aeklund: successfully under 40 (minutes)
C. run like MNspeak’s favorite mom: fast, panting, and sweaty

I like my bacon extra crispy nateek…

No worries, but just for the record, I did at least “try” to show up to something.
I have to look at the description again, cuz’ it made it sound all valium dreamy. But a good work out by candle light sounds kinda cool.

Grote: I plan on blending the two at some point.

Cat, I’m super sad not to join you. I’ve really been looking forward to that class. I never have plans on Fridays and suddenly I’m booked for a month.

Ugh, it feels like a sauna in my office today. Gross.

A. Swim like maz: ruthless, entitled  earned swimming

I don’t think you have it in you. You’ll probably want a trophy just for finishing, right?

Geez maz. As my grandma would say, you’re full of piss and vinegar aren’t you?

I don’t think you have it in you. You’ll probably want a trophy just for finishing, right?

I’ll be pretty happy if I finish since this is my first one. But for each ensuing tri I plan on getting a team of people to let the air out of other competitor’s tires while we’re out swimming. heh. That will show ‘em. Interested?

You’ll probably want a trophy just for finishing, right?

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

The Saturday 9:00 am one is medium-difficult. I’d only go if you wanted to, and maybe we could convince mb?

Lost gets that sad music swelling, and it gets me every time. Also, Kate’s shirt kept nearly blowing open.

you’ll never guess who finished first in the crusty troglodytic guy in a rolling chair over-60 chained-to-a-keyboard lumbago-ed division. and all he got for his trouble was whacked in the face with a John Wayne statue.

dirty old man to-do list:
1) Grocery shopping with Jane
2) Yoga with Cat
3) anything with mb

I’m out on the med-difficult. My muscles are screaming so I need gentle yoga. I need to work up to med-dif yoga so maybe it’s not the best event for me to join.

Plus, now I may try to up my distance and run in the morning.

grote, you and I share the same dreams.

Cool. Let’s plan to go to a lazy yoga class some other time!

Grote: thanks for thinking of me! You’re the best.

Kevin: good one! I like the all caps especially.

You guys need to buy me that motorcycle because today is my one-year anniversary of editing MnSpeak.

I’m aiming for a 4 plater day at the Chinese buffet in EP mall. Oh god it is going to be AWESOME.

I got your anniversary present right here Sparber…

Hope you like shocking surprises.

You already know the answer to that.

You guys need to buy me that motorcycle because today is my one-year anniversary of editing MnSpeak.

In Soviet Russia, the motorcycle buys you for MNspeak’s anniversary.

The Rat sometimes dreams he has a motorcycle. Drives it around the little town he grew up in. He looks pretty cool, but, then he always did.

Where’s a really cheap place for me to grab a good lunch today?

Harbor Light…the lines tend to be pretty short on Friday because everybody’s spending their gov’t checks @ Burger King.

McDonald’s

Max the motorcycle mouse?

Read that book when I was little.

Gonna start cryin’

Let me rephrase that. Where is a good place for me to grab a moderately healthy, cheap lunch in the Minneapolis skyway system.

Does Harbor Light have a skyway outpost to feed the working poor? That would be nice if they did, someone should really look into doing that.

I kid. actually, the Checkered Apron in the Lumber Exchange bldg…right across the hall from Cafe Trieste…good homecooked food @ reasonable prices.

I could totally go for lunch @ Krmarczuck (sp?), but I have a prior engagement.

five dollar foot long?

I didn’t know Max was that expensive.

dirty old man to-do list:
1) Jane
2) Cat
3) mb

Whoa, one foot long?

Cat – please stop toying with jane and mb. It’s become obvious that no one will ever actually meet you in the flesh. Because you’re not real. And if you are real, you’re a 60 year old insurance agent from St. Boni with a wife, 3 kids, an upside down mortgage and a wicked internet porn addiction.

Please. Spare their feelings.

Whoa, one foot long?

That’s what she said!

Fell out over that, Miller. But who doesn’t have a wicked internet porn addiction?

Well, there is one MNspeaker who can now vouch that I do indeed exist. I don’t know if he’ll confirm that I’m not a 60 year-old St. Boni insurance agent with a wife & 3 kids though.

I’m still operating under the assumption that Cat = Max until I see proof otherwise.

There have been Cat sightings but she doesn’t show up in photos or on vid.

Okay, I just learned that you can rent-to-own rims. WTF?!

I predict the renting rims market will cause a rise in my economy, rim away.

Let me rephrase that. Where is a good place for me to grab a moderately healthy, cheap lunch in the Minneapolis skyway system.

Zen-Box, for inexpensive, moderately-healthy Japanese lunches.

It’s on the skyway level at 6 Quebec, the building just north of the Northstar.

I used my stimulus check to rent rims.

I’m thinking Zen Box, although I eat there entirely too much.

Rent rims? I get mine for free from O…

Oh, wait. That’s yesterday’s joke.

@mb: My email is getting bounced back for some reason because Hotmail considers it spam. This is strange since it’s not like I’ve never emailed you and vice versa.

more graph humor and song chart memes

Bix, I’m thinking of going to Zen Box, if you want to go. Meet out in front of your building in 10 minutes? At 12:50?

I probably should have put this one in the Marsh thread.

Just got fish tacos from Baja. Zen Box next week?

omg, I love that movie! So horrible…

@bix – not sure what’s going on as you’re listed in my contacts. Weird. Are you sending it from your gmail?

I’m pretty sure I have overdosed on msg.

Sure!

Max: Happy Editing Anniversary! I can donate whatever Mickey Mouse has in his belly to your motorcycle – it could be a lot – I have yet to count.

Or I can teach you the Yoga poses I learn this evening.

Alls I gots.

Are you hitting on me?

If I were to make a t-shirt in honor of today, it would be:

THINGS ARE BETTER NOW THAT MAX IS HERE.

Nateek,

you’re doing the Buffalo tri on Sunday? I was supposed to do it but apparently these things fill up so I missed out. I’m doing one in August. I’ll be there Sunday as a few friends of mine are doing it.

Plus, I was going to do the olympic and am not a strong swimmer, so was a little nervous about the whole drowning and dying thing.

I happen to know for a fact that Nate is hitting on me.

Are you the one who has the circle bed, guns and booze?

But, really, if I offered these lessons, I would definitely be hitting on you – So NSFW:

mb, you missed my birthday.

@ MAX: of course I’m hitting on you. I mean, look at you!

@ Saloth: Yup. Doing the Buffalo Tri – sprint course. I haven’t found anything on the website that explicitly says I can’t wear floaties and an intertube, so that’s the plan.

Which one are you doing in August? I’m doing the St. Paul Tri in August.

@mb: it seems that a lot of gmail people are having their emails blocked by hotmail. Strange.

Uploaded a new screenplay to my site today, by the way. Indiana Moans and the Kingdom of the Crystal Whang.

I know some of you were looking forward to that.

I see this and I wonder – what if these are the people who have it figured out?

I like that they’re shooting arrows at the helicopters.

Uploaded a new screenplay to my site today, by the way. Indiana Moans and the Kingdom of the Crystal Whang.

The Queen’s spelling of Wang with an ‘h’ gives it extra class.

The h is not silent, either.

The h is not silent, either.

I just made a mess on my chair.

I’m giddy with excitement to read this at home tonight. Too bad you don’t give author lectures in person Max.

Something can be arranged.

(Rearranges something.)

Nateek,

I have no idea which one. Maybe it is the St. Paul, but since people have been giving me grief about missing this one they are telling me I have to do “the one in August”. So we’ll see which one that ends up being.

I think you should wear the floaties – your bulk will frighten the other swimmers. You should also continue to wear them biking and running for crash protection and the aforementioned “scare” factor.

Max just rearranged his whang in front of the whole crowd.

WHO THE FUCK SCHEDULED FOUR MEETINGS FOR ME ON FRIDAY, DAMMIT???

I like that they’re shooting arrows at the helicopters.

How would they know it won’t work? This calls for a reviewing of The Gods Must Be Crazy.

It seems like mnspeak is a grouchy place today. I blame the toxic presence of the New York Yankees.

Anyway, I’m going to buy a tie to wear to tomorrow’s gala and eat at Origami.

Yeah, I’m going out to the sunshine now.

Then off to my class.

Who the fuck scheduled a class until 9 pm on three Fridays in a row?????????

Bought my first pair of prescription sunglasses for vacation next week.

They’re great. Now if we could just get some sunshine

…and horny. Back on the farm, that’s what we call fortunate.

Another Forbes accolade for Minneapolis

Number 7 in best cities for the outdoors.

Days with unhealthy air. Average 2.3 per year.

If you listen to Bob and a few others, you’d think we were choking to death.

Alie – Were you home when the hail came through? That was pretty wicked for a while (we’re just on the other side of Aquila Park from you).

Miller, no doubt! It was pretty wicked!

I just got home and there is still a ton of hail on my deck!

I was at a party in S Mpls and we all stood in the doorway and watched the hail. Wow. They live on a hill and there was a river of hail going down the street & sidewalks.

I ate some hail. It tasted… icy.

just got home. our hostas look like cole slaw, the plastic covers over our basement window wells were blown to smithereens, and there is still a pile of hail in the corner of our deck about 9″ deep. WTF?

I was wondering what the scene must have been like at the Edina Art Fair (or any other large, outdoor gathering). I suppose everyone packed into that one large parking garage. Or didn’t the hail go that far south?

That hail was hella wicked. We were coming back from Minnetrista when the storm was just starting and luckily made it inside my friend’s house when the hail came.

Our cars got pelted – did anyone have hail damage to their car(s)/property?

Alie/Miller: I think my friend lives really close to both of you. She’s just on the east side of the Minneapolis Club golf course. Miller, I think you know her… from a past work life.

Cat – I know who you’re talking about. We actually used to live on the same street as your friend, but moved a mile south a couple of years ago. Our cars were in the garage. I haven’t had a chance to take a good look at siding & shingles yet.

Miller: Now that you mention it, I think someone said that you had moved. It’s interesting how so many “formers” live so close in that area.

“If you listen to Bob and a few others, you’d think we were choking to death.”

(The Rat falls to ground. gasping and grabing throat)

Apology acceped.

@Cat: I can think of 7 “formers” who lived within a few blocks of the Mpls Golf Club. I didn’t really know anyone from the 3rd floor. Probably quite a few of them in that area as well.

I took a ton of pictures of the hail. It looked like winter here in Excelsior and Grand area. We went for a walk tonight and a lot of our trees were stripped absolutely bare of leaves and a lot of branches. Pretty crazy storm.

Miller: I was at the art fair.. people were starting to leave when the winds kicked up, prior to the hail. But the business owners at 50th/France were cool, and started telling people to get inside. Then the hail started to dump. It was pretty nutty.

I was at the art fair.

And you didn’t have a camera man with you?! You totally could have done the “Tom Brokaw vs. the hurricane” thing!

I know, sadly, I don’t go with a camera everywhere.

I know, sadly, I don’t go with a camera everywhere.

Which is why you should let Google streetview cars follow you wherever you go.