Secrets of the City

Were you polite, Mr. Metroblogging? Or did you match attitude with attitude?

couch sectional

Is this some leather monstrosity about the size of an airport?

Answer if you want. I don’t have the inclination to log in to your site.

Maybe it’s because I’m in a disgustingly good mood, but the Rat seems particularly acerbic and crabby today.

The Rat is filling a niche.

That’s the word of the day: niche.

Niche = A Hole?

It’s a nice word, Rat.

Niche. Natch! Nice…

@The Rat: Definitely started things politely, and about the third time I had to argue the merits of left vs. right, turned up the tonal intensity.

Re: couch: It’s actually a smallish sectional chosen because our apartment living room is approximately the size of a small rodents’ brain.

I think The Rat needs a hug…

/god help me with this mood…

Maybe it’s because I’m in a disgustingly good mood, but the Rat seems particularly acerbic and crabby today.

Well, he was commenting early in the AM. Maybe he was grumpy at being up so late.

I think we’re going to need a Monday Crabby Pants thread where Max finds the most annoying news articles of that day and we just piss and moan and get it off our collective chests.

It’s called “The Case of the Mondays Thread”, Alie.

*groan*

I dunno, I like the image that “Crabby Pants” casts.

Would you like to argue about this in a thread, Alie?

Only if it involves hair pulling, Bix.

Would it be a Monday thread if it didn’t?

In other news, Johnny Northside seems to go a bit overboard.

I have no idea if Johnny Northside reads mnspeak or not, but if he does I strongly recommend he read this web page if he intends to keep going with his social campaign.

It’s a nice practical site that focuses on the psychology of violence and is written for people who choose to put themselves in potentially risky situations. It might save him a beating.

I think Johnny Northside is ex-military. He certainly writes like it.
Name that film:
Most people spend their lives trying to avoid tense situations; Johnny Northside spends his getting into tense situations. Johnny Northside is always intense.

Teucer, I too was thinking he’s coming rather close to a beat down. I hope not but I wouldn’t be surprised.

Name that film:
Most people spend their lives trying to avoid tense situations; Johnny Northside spends his getting into tense situations. Johnny Northside is always intense.

The Legend of Billy Jack?

I don’t want crabs in my pants.

-Sally Sunshine

I think Johnny Northside is ex-military. He certainly writes like it.

Yeah, those people are all crazy, violent wackos…

Oh, wait.

…plate of shrimp. No point in lookin’ for one neither.

The chief export of Johnny Northside is PAIN.

Can our crabby pants Monday post stream the Boomtown rats?

That would make me crabby even if I was in a good mood.

Clicked on that link Teucer:

This came up

The page cannot be found

Either relink the page or I’m going to go out today and find you and kick your ass.

I too was thinking he’s coming rather close to a beat down. I hope not but I wouldn’t be surprised

Swandog prediction, Johny norhside is shot or stabbed by the end of the year. I hope the guy packs.

Teucer, you better put a piece of cheese in your pocket in case of emergency. It may be your only hope…

Most people spend their lives trying to avoid tense situations; Johnny Northside spends his getting into tense situations. Johnny Northside is always intense.

Harry Dean Stanton in “Repo Man.”

I heard that Teucer keeps an ill-tempered cat in his pockets in case of emergencies.

It’s the weirdly-broken linking on mnspeak that is the problem here:

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/

There, try that.

Aliecat: *gasp* who told you about my “pocket pussy”? Why must I be publicly humiliated in this way?

Oh I think I smell a rat
oh I think I smell a rat
all you little kids
seem to think you know
just where it’s at
oh I think I smell a rat
walking down the street
carrying a baseball bat
oh I think I smell a rat

Oh I think I smell a rat
oh I think I smell a rat
all you little kids
seem to think you know
just where it’s at
oh I think I smell a rat
using your mother and father
for a welcome mat
oh I think I smell a rat

Those nononsenseselfdefense people are not going to save anyone through stellar web design.

You know how girls talk, Teuce. Hee!

Jonny northside is non-other than John Hoff of the MN Daily.

He is one of the fairly retarded columnists who has written tons of trash. Each of his column received about 100 letters from people pissed about it. Among his masterpieces:

1. North Dakota Sucks
2. Bikers should bike on the sidewalk
3. My bike was stolen, Part 1, 2, 3

and my favorite:

4. Build a cage over washington ave bridge in order to prevent suicides. Oh man!

The dude is indeed ex-military and he is living in his own world. His ideas are fairly asinine, yet comically entertaining.

Vlad, links please.

I have a feeling this will provide my morning dose of hilarity.

You wanna know what going on with The Ol’ Rat?

Here’s the story. My wife picked me up at the airport with one of the neighbors cars.

It seems some punks on dope in this Grand City of Ours were driving backwards down our street, hit our car and ran like cowardly cockroaches. The tow truck in on the way.

I just got back from Singapore. You know what they do to kids who pull things like that over there: They beat them with rattan canes until their skin is raw and bloody.

They’re know something we don’t.

He is one of the fairly retarded columnists who has written tons of trash.

outside of this guy plus marsh and nick coleman, just how many fairly retarted columnists do our fine cities boast? list, please?

Well, there is a reason the streets are so clean in Singapore: they are not a real democracy. Nice amazing life-changing food, good efficient single party rule, very little corruption, but a definite oligarchy. It’s kind of a wash in my book.

It sucks what happened to your car.

I hope nothing bad happens to Johnny Northside. He is trying to put his money where his mouth is. That’s something I definitely would not do at this point. But I think having dependents and being a cautious person are part and parcel.

Johnny Northside is to crime what Aaron is to pizza.

Here is a full list of his stuff:

My favorite:

1. Bridge Cage

2. Bike on Sidewalk

3. North Dakota sucks

Each of these generated a huger uproar on campus.

I never understood the placement of his cell phone either?? Is that supposed to make him look like a cool journalist?

outside of this guy plus marsh and nick coleman, just how many fairly retarted columnists do our fine cities boast? list, please?

Don’t forget Kersten!

i dunno, vlad. seems you would agree with his “bike on the sidewalk as a means of civil disobedience” piece.

I hadn’t realized that Johnny Northside was the same guy from the Daily. My impression is that his editorials in the Daily are shoddy, though I don’t remember specific examples (because they are also forgettable). Now, I wrote shoddy columns for my student paper, so I’m not one to judge… except that I was lot younger at the time than Johnny appears to be.

Umm, I never bike on the sidewalk. More dangerous, slow and just plain dumb.

It’s kind of a wash in my book.

Maybe Singaporeans are just very obedient out of a shared concern for the common good.

That’s liberal utopia, isn’t it?

Wow, if only he was called Johnny Nodak!

Alie, can we start calling you a Sodak?

Also, I wonder how much 5-0 on the North Side hates him already.

Bix- sure! Besides everyone knows that South Dakota is the better Dakota, cuz it’s about 5 degrees warmer on average.

Huzzah!

Maybe Singaporeans are just very obedient out of a shared concern for the common good.

Or, like most authoritarian countries, they’re simply trying to avoid this:
They beat them with rattan canes until their skin is raw and bloody.

Also, his suicide piece wasn’t that bad and actually incorporates some of the stuff that’s done at other bridges.

I bet you wouldn’t have to beat too many people with rattan canes to get a little more order in our society.

It seems some punks on dope in this Grand City of Ours were driving backwards down our street, hit our car and ran like cowardly cockroaches. The tow truck in on the way.

They’re know something we don’t

Baseball bat would be better, it would slow the shit heads down longer.

From the editorial on the Washington Avenue Bridge, in reference to The Sorrows of Young Werther, “This book, by Goethe, is reportedly a moving masterpiece.” Ha ha ha. I just wish he’d said, “This book, reportedly by Goethe, is a moving masterpiece.”

He omitted to mention the most famous suicide off the bridge, that of poet John Berryman.

Also, didn’t someone try to jump off the Hennepin bridge a few years ago (but lived)?

I heard he loved the Golden Gophers but he hated all the drawn out winters.

Who could blame him.

Order as an end in itself? No thanks.
But with that many people living on top of each other order would be more necessary. You have your choices for motivation. They could either behave out of fear of punishment (Singapore) our out of sense of social connection (Japan). I prefer the soft power approach. But I fear the hard power probably works better in non-homogenized countries.

No that was the Washington Ave bridge.

The barriers on Washington are high enough. Putting a chain-link fence would make the beautiful view super ugly.

Come on people, are we supposed to child-proof every singe piece of sidewalk???

If people want to commit suicide so much, well…. let them exercise their free will!

I don’t think you’d die from a jump off the Hennepin Ave. Bridge. But St. Anthony Falls would likely finish you off.

I do remember an incident a few years ago where a distraught man was seen swimming down river, toward the falls. He may have jumped in at Hennepin Ave. I can’t remember if he went over the falls, or if they pulled him out just before.

No, someone definitely jumped off the hennepin bridge and broke an ankle or something.