Secrets of the City

Carrot Top’s funnier and has more class.

“”I’m not Carrot Top”

As good a reason to elect someone to the U.S. Senate as any. Coming soon: “I’m not Carrot Top” bumper stickers and t-shirts.

Irritate the latte liberals in your neighborhood with this beautiful bumper sticker which is as colorful as Mr. Franken’s humor.

Maz: “Carrot Top’s funnier and has more class.”

And people say that Conservatives aren’t funny! Because you’re totally kidding, right?

Franken is just a total Statesman.

Al’s campain should sell beer mugs with his mug on them.

They would be called….(wait for it)….Farnken Steins!

er, only spelled correctly.

Damn you, ethanol!

So this is as good a place as any to tell the story of my disenchanting DFL senate district convention experience.

Someone started a “Franken/Energy” sub-caucus, and since I care about energy policy more than just about anything else, my friend and I joined it. I didn’t have strong feelings about Franken. Needless to say, there were a grand total of three of us, so we had to merge with “Franken/Environment”, where we had enough people to elect a delegate. Fine, we thought, we’ll elect the guy that started the “Energy” sub-caucus – he was a grad student working on renewable energy stuff and knew his shit.

Then Franken’s organizers came along and convinced the group to merge with two others so Franken could get an extra delegate. Now we were Franken/labor/education/realtors for a better minnesota/stop bombing somalia*/stop laughing at Will Ferrel/environment/energy subcaucus. Needless to say, our guy didn’t get elected, and out of 500 DFLers in the district representing the U, and 26 delegates, NOT A SINGLE scientist or person who was interested in energy went on to the state convention.

We’re fucked. And Franken sucks. Pallmeyer’s speech was better, too.

—–
* this is real. Are we bombing Somalia?

Jeff:

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
–H. L. Mencken

I wish I got it good and hard.

* this is real. Are we bombing Somalia?

Who would know? Certainly not the somalians, most of whom are now in Burnsville.

I would have joined the stop laughing at will ferrell subcaucus.

kevin…but you’d have to take it from a Democrat.

Are we bombing Somolia?

According to Mo Hassan at the AP, yes, we are.

The protesters – mainly women and children – took to the streets in Dobley shouting: “Down with the so-called superpower!”

I’m disappointed they didn’t use “alleged” instead of “so-called.”

A Canadian colleague called 9/11 a “so-called tragedy” this past week.

What does a guy say to that?

“So you’re a canuck moron, eh?”

The Rat can’t say that to a woman. He’s a gentleman.

Just mention in casual conversation that Lord Stanley’s Cup is in sunny California. That should shut her up.

For a Canadian, that’s probably an actual tragedy.

Our ministry of disinformation is working hard to make sure very few of us, even in a highly Somali populated area, know that we have been bombing spreading democracy in Somali with some regularity.

The only affect of bombing somalia would be to watch the debris bounce.

I think the 9 million people who live there would disagree, but they are probably too busy dodging bouncing debris.

And when you consider that just under half of their population is under the age of 15, your lack of compassion is utterly galling, if unsurprising.

You know, they used to say something similar about another ethnic group closer to home, maz. “The only good ________ is a dead ________.

You can fill in the blanks.

“smoker”?

*runs away*

Franken would be a terrible candidate to run against Coleman. Coleman is a motor-mouth that will beat Franken in volume, if not substance.

Franken wanders off topic, is occaisionally mush-mouthed, sometimes seems to end up confused and confusing to his audience.

Franken’s grasp of the subject matter seems to be limited as opposed to his rival, Pallmeyer. Pallmeyer could give Coleman a real run for his money in a debate.

And then there are the millions of words written and spoken by Franken in his career. A smart politician like Coleman will have Franken spending at least half of the time in any debate saying, “That’s not how I meant that…” over and over. Not a good way to win a debate.

Many of his supporters have never hear him in a debate. Find a recording of one and listen. Now realize that in the general election there will be a hostile atmosphere with intense pressure–can Franken effectively present his own views?

With Franken, the outside money issue against Coleman is unwinnable.

With Franken, the “Hollywood” money becomes an issue.

With Franken, there will be the “carpetbagger” issue.

With Franken, his initiall Iraq war support negates that issue to some degree against Coleman.

I would advise any Franken supporter to spend a couple hours researching Pallmeyer and his positions. You will find a more articulate, “cleaner” candidate that has fewer loose threads for Coleman to pull on.