Secrets of the City

Plus! Chuck’s review of Comcast broadband

Curse you Max!!! (It’s funny, but I must still curse you for it!)

I also want you all to see what Max found at a thrift store the other day. I promise this is not a Rick Roll or any other type of roll. It’s toward the bottom of the post. Warning: It’s DISGUSTING!!!. Even I gagged.

OMG! That is so gross! I can’t believe they had that in the store. And who would turn it in without washing it?

I need to go outside and get some fresh air.

I apologize. Ingrid summed up just how horrifying it is. It still makes me ill.

How about someone tell me what it is since I am eating breakfast.

I’ll give you a hint. Human fluids are involved.

Male, female or either?

Bixby, I would finish your cereal first before looking at the photos.

The pictures are really, really gross. (Are we driving up your traffic with all these cautions about the grossness?)

I just checked, and yes, apparently we are.

My wife, incidentally, apologizes for not completely cleaning those things out.

HUNGHGHBLAAAAGGGHHH! I need some Listerine over here!

eww eww eww wrong wrong wrong

Sorry, that’s all I got.

I wish I was the kind of person wasn’t curious about anything.

Nothing about my hyperbole yet? I said it’s the best Atmosphere record! I said it’s the best Tapes ‘n Tapes record! CONTROVERSY, PEOPLE.

Linkbaiting is an uncertain science.

Don’t worry, good music usually eclipses rotting body fluids in the long term. But the initial shock… *shudder*

I wish I was the kind of person (who) wasn’t curious about anything.

I forgot who. I can’t believe I forgot who.

You keep bringing back to that day, Jeremy. That awful, awful day, when we dicsovered the …

(Flees room gibbering.)

At least we didn’t find one of these little fellers in the bag.

The difference is that I would actually eat a chocolate newborn

Damn it, I refuse to look. Won’t someone look and then tell me about it?

It’s little naked chocolate newborns.

I used to go see the “Little Naked Chocolate Newborns” play live back when I was in college.

Oooh, they are too life-like. I couldn’t – well, the one that’s curled up and looks more blobby I could I guess.

Wait, if they were wrapped in bacon? Then of course.

Yeah. I felt bad when they split up after their first album.

Is that racial Max? Because my grandma, and I’m not joking about this, used to call me her Little Hershey Bar Without No Nuts. Because I enjoyed eating the chocolate bars when I was little, but did not want the bars with peanuts. Also because I’m black and lack balls.

Wow! My grandma also called me Little Hershey Bar Without No Nuts. Because she was blind and crazy.

I feel like I just walked into one of those new Facebook chat rooms.

Also because I’m black and lack balls.

Oh, like Colin Powell when he was SOS?

You have to look. It is required looking.

Great. Now I’m hooked on reading Pravda online. Not always clear on what they are trying to say though:

In premodern times a husband was supposed to protect and support not his wife, children and also servants and animals of his domain. Whats more, the father (as the patron) was awarded with much authority, differing from that of his wife. Nothing seems to have changed since that time, but wives feel much oppressed.

Lost in translation, No? It’s the opening paragraph to a story about how husbands create 7 more hours/week of housework for their wives.

K, sorry – back to baby snackin’ and dried up body fluids.

Chocolate baby body fluid.

[In earnest teenaged girl voice] I wonder if anybody else is going to write about how political the Tapes n Tapes record is. I really do wonder about that.