Secrets of the City

’twas the night before christmas
in a lakeville cop’s house
not a creature was stirring
well, except for 2 underage girls.

I’m afraid there was more stirring than just the girls.

uh, since when are pictures of drunk teenage girls in their underwear child pornography?

LOOKOUT MYSPACE!

also, uh, can I get their number?

I just assumed that pics of drunk teenagers in underwear were just Calvin Klein ads.

That cop may find out what hard core porn is about real soon in prison, good luck pal they love cops inside.

also LOOKOUT 8/10 TEENAGE GIRLS!
You’re making porno and putting it on the internet!

Yes those underage 17 year olds are trouble.

The news story I saw had something along these lines:

“the cop bought them beers and then coerced them to make out and touch each other.”

Fairly comical.

Oh males….

hey let’s punish weak-willed men because little girls have been turned into whores by MTV. because there’s nothing natural in the least by older men being turned on by lithe young women and it’s not like 40 year olds used to marry teenagers back in the day before we somehow found our infallable modern morality.

While I disagree heartily with their choice in gender, I will defend to the death their right to do as they please with these girls!

Several more candidates to increase the national prison population. I think we are at about 1% of the US population.

Perhaps soon enough we will be able to reach the 2-3% or even 5-10% milestones. That will make the quality of life better.

Seriously? You think a cop supplying alcohol to minors and being sexual with them is ok?

Bill Roehl has the whole Lakeville police with girl report posted.

Its not ok in puritan-land, that’s for sure.

like you never drank when you were underage, Cat.

I’m sure you never had sex until you were 18 too.

Why do people seem to think that they can do these things when they’re young, but as soon as they get old it’s the most horrible thing imaginable?

Hypocrites.

Not trying to defend the bad cop, but I my thoughts were similar to wayne’s — I’ve seen racier things in an American Apparal ad.

Oh, and just saying — have you seeen MTV lately?

Wow. I can’t believe what I’m reading here.

Hypocrites? How about mature? There are most certainly things I regret doing at 17 that I would never do now.

An adult male authority figure has no place giving alcohol to underage persons. No matter what is on MTV or any other channel now.

just because you feel like you learned a lesson does not mean you can somehow convey that lesson to another generation without them making the same mistakes.

it’s so asinine the way every generation somehow thinks they can prevent the next from learning by making mistakes. do you really think they’re going to listen to you any more than you listened to your parents’ generation?

I imagine the “pornography” charge will be tough to prove. The providing alcohol to underage kids though: that’s inexcusable for a cop.

I didn’t have anybody teaching those lessons to me. You can bet your ass I will do everyhing in my power to educate my children in making smarter decisions than I did.

Moron.

The best part of all this, aside from pointing pistols at people, video taping underage girls and giving them 40s is the fact that at one point one of the girls was wearing a Lakeville PD t-shirt.

This officer obviously planned on passing this around later and showing how awesome he was for getting his little sluts to parade around in Lakeville PD attire.

The only way this could have been better is if they were handcuffing him while wearing his gun belt, badge and hat.

Ok, the alcohol giving is definitely illegal.

Not sure what is illeagal about taking pictures of girls in their bras kissing. Is that really pornography?

Also, they apparently pointed guns at each other. Is that illegal?

Man total nanny state here. Can’t even take a sweet pic of a Glock against my friends’ forehead.

Yeah, I’m in general agreement. Yes, 17 can be somewhat of a gray area when it comes to issues of personal maturity, but the law is pretty clear and ignorance is no defense. This is particularly true when someone is an authority figure.

So, no matter what the circumstances, this cop has to end up holding the can (figuratively speaking). I’m not sympathetic.

Sure I drank when I was in high school, Just Sayin’ and when I had sex is noneurbidness.

I never claimed it to be the “most horrible thing imaginable” and sure, shite like this goes on all of the time, but he’s a cop so it seems a little “do as I say, not as I do” for someone in his position.

they won’t listen to you. I promise you that. children, especially of that age, are naturally rebellious and want to find their own way. they resent authority figures telling them what to do, and often times do exactly what they’re told not to.

most of them will grow out of it if they have a decent home life, but no matter how much you think you’re going to be able to be the first parent ever to teach their children well enough to never make a mistake, it’s arrogant and foolish and just won’t happen.

one of my exes apparently used to party/drink/smokeyouknowwhat with her high school teacher. another apparently did more with one.

I think there’s a well-established young-girls-love-older-authority-figures fetish that’s deeply ingrained in a lot of women.

OFFENSES
COUNT I  USE OF A MINOR IN A PORNOGRAPHIC DEPICTION, PHOTOGRAPH OR VIDEO
COUNT II  POSSESSION OF A PORNOGRAPHIC DEPICTION, PHOTOGRAPH OR VIDEO INVOLVING MINORS
COUNT III  PERSONS UNDER AGE 21; ILLEGAL ACTS
COUNT IV  PERSONS UNDER AGE 21; ILLEGAL ACTS
COUNT V  RECKLESS USE OF A GUN (AIDING AND ABETTING)
COUNT VI  INTENTIONALLY POINTING A GUN AT ANOTHER (AIDING AND ABETTING)

I am not a lawyer, but are V and VI really illegal? LoL

Are the girls going to be charged with underage drinking? They should at least get some tickets.

Also, they apparently pointed guns at each other. Is that illegal?

COUNT VI INTENTIONALLY POINTING A GUN AT ANOTHER (AIDING AND ABETTING)

M.S. 609.66, Subd. 1(a)(2)(b)(2); 609.05, Subd. 1; 609.101 0-90 days and/or $300-$1000

That on or about December 23, 2007, in Dakota County, Minnesota, NICHOLAS ALBERT REITMEIER did intentionally aid, advise, counsel, conspire with, or otherwise procure another or others to intentionally point a gun of any kind, capable of injuring or killing a human being and whether loaded or unloaded, at or toward another.

I am all for this being illegal – what’s the problem?

> COUNT V  RECKLESS USE OF A GUN (AIDING AND ABETTING)

Ok, having a gun and conceal-carry permits is totally worthless, if it is illegal to point it at anyone.

Next thing, people will be getting charged for shooting a home invader, since they pointed a gun at them.

Ok, having a gun and conceal-carry permits is totally worthless, if it is illegal to point it at anyone.

You can never point it at someone, even in states that have sane conceal/carry laws. You must warn them that you are armed unless you feel that you are in imminent danger (e.g. they are pointing one at you)

Do us all a favor and move Vlad. You’ll be happier and so will we.

I know not pointing guns at others is just good common sense gun safety, but seriously, it’s illegal? when unloaded? no shit?
I didn’t know guns were “capable of injuring or killing a human being and whether loaded or unloaded“

no, I like vlad here. cyclonazi extremists unite!
I like having someone who’s almost as crazy about transportation and the environment as I am.

they won’t listen to you. I promise you that. children, especially of that age, are naturally rebellious and want to find their own way. they resent authority figures telling them what to do, and often times do exactly what they’re told not to.

Seems like most people are more upset with the cop, as he is an adult in a position of authority. He should have known better and definately should be punished. How would any of you guys have felt if it was your 17 year old daughter?

also, seriously stfu with the ‘move away then’ argument on mnspeak.

1) not always an option. no really, that whole ‘freedom to do as you please and live where ever you like’ thing is contingent on having MONEY or no commitments.
2) sometimes bitching about the way things are is because you care enough about a place to want to help improve it. sure, maybe some of the surly locals are deadset against change, and I guess if they resist long enough they eventually will drive everyone else out, while running their state/city/whatever into the ground. but they should give it a few moments of thought that maybe, just maybe, this person is trying to help.
3) it’s kind of a cop out and makes it seem like you’re arguing like mazapasaan

but if there are no adults to aid that sort of behaviour, how will the underage kids get their beer/pot/whatever? somebody has to be the bad guy alie!

mb21: Thanks for the suggestion, but I think I will stay. I welcome your personal attacks towards me and other people on the forum. So far you have called another a “moron” and told me to move.

Perhaps you should find another outlet for your childish name-calling amongst our adult discussion.

besides, I know people who are ostensibly adults who still act like this:

they resent authority figures telling them what to do, and often times do exactly what they’re told not to.

sometimes bitching about the way things are is because you care enough about a place to want to help improve it.

Yes, because whining on a site like this really changes things. Keep up the good work Wayno.

I’m pretty sure mb called me a whiney twat or something like that at one point or another too.

thanks! how’s being a bitch?

yup there it is, in fact.

and being a bitch on the internet accomplishes tons too. Keep up the good work and don’t forget to buy tampons.

that’s inexcusable for a cop.

Not sure what is illeagal about taking pictures of girls in their bras kissing. Is that really pornography?

Really? Is there a gray area morally about a cop (or any adult) who brings 17 year old girls to his house, gets them drunk, has them strip, and takes pics of them? I’m kind of surprised there’s a debate about this. Seems pretty clearly outside the realm of ethical adult behavior. I’m assuming those of you who are waffling on this issue don’t have 17 year old daughters.

Right on wayne.

mb21: “move away Vlad”

=

Maz: “your socialist parents raised you as a good commie”

Nice to see the level you have stooped to.

I am not surprised though, when one can’t come up with a sound argument, it makes them feel better to insult the opposing opinion.

The gun incident sounds like a separate incident. It involved the other man charged, and a third woman (unidentified). It seems pretty clear in the strib article that the gun stuff didn’t involve either of the 17 year olds.

Anyway, I am just surprised that comic laws like that exist.

USA, land of bizzare laws, where:

Buying an semi-auto AK-47 assault rifle without a background check at a gun show is legal

But pointing an unloaded gun to take a picture of someone is illegal.

Makes my head explode.

I find it appalling. But Kip sure doesn’t.

I think a lot of the contention is over which parts are actually illegal. Alcohol to minors is always illegal, even if it’s kind of a stupid law that leads to binge drinking and an unhealthy attitude towards alcohol consumption in america. While some may question the reasoning behind that, however, we all know it’s very illegal to give alcohol to a minor.

But the child pornography thing makes very little sense, given they were clothed and, honestly, you can see racier things as someone else said, in advertising everywhere.

although there was a good point about how you can’t protect your child forever. Seventeen and eighteen aren’t really that different. Less than a year and they’re a legal adult that can make their own decisions, and you really think you can still protect them from making mistakes?

It seems a bit hopeful and silly. Everyone’s a dumb kid at some point.

A little editing of that last post goes like this:

Buying a semi-auto AK-47 assault rifle without a background check at a gun show makes my head explode.

Hmm, if he wasn’t a police officer it would have been ok for him to have them strip and to have sex with one or both of them but not take pictures. Our laws sometimes don’t make a lot of sense.

Wayne: “Less than a year and they’re a legal adult that can make their own decisions, and you really think you can still protect them from making mistakes?”

No, but that doesn’t mean a cop shouldn’t be held accountable for his illegal actions; we should hold those responsible for making and enforcing laws to a higher standard.

I just realized how similar appalling and appealing are as words.

no, I know. he gave alcohol to minors. illegal.

although I’m questioning the double standard for police. obviously they need to obey the law, but they need to … more than obey it? set a positive example? they’re still people. if we expect so much of them, no wonder some of them turn into fascist asshole pigs (helloooooooo new york! CPR indeed!)

I know not pointing guns at others is just good common sense gun safety, but seriously, it’s illegal? when unloaded? no shit?

Don’t they call that brandishing? That’s usually illegal. It could also potentially fall under making a terroristic threat.

I don’t know how that would apply in this case though, with two willing (?) individuals posing for a picture. I suppose you could make a case for reckless disregard, or something along that line.

Our age laws are definitely messed up.

A 17 year old isn’t considered competent enough to drink, sign a contract, rent a car, rent a hotel room, have sex (true, the age of consent for sex varies from state to state), vote, etc.

But, a 14 year old can be considered competent enough to stand trial as an adult for crimes, and receive an adult sentence.

I think that this is an effort to make an example out of this particular officer. The charges against him won’t amount to much of a punishment if it even makes it to a trial but this is nothing more than the City of Lakeville trying to save face and flex their muscles saying “we only employ the best” even though they obviously don’t.

our law system likes the ‘have your cake and eat it too’ approach.

I think that this is an effort to make an example out of this particular officer.

Good! He should be held to a higher standard. If he can’t make sane decisions on his own, why should he be permitted to judge the actions of others?

because we don’t have robocop yet.

It seems like a balancing act as a parent – I would never want my kids doing what I did in high school, but also I realize kids are rebellious at that age. But, just because kids are rebellious doesn’t mean parenting stops.

Because I didn’t always listen to my parents, I shouldn’t make the effort to teach my kids right from wrong? Just because I drank in high school, I should just let my kids drink because someone says I’m a prude? Because I made some bad decisions when I was 17, I should just let my kid make bad decions without intervening?

It would piss me off to know that some older guy, a cop no less, was feeding my 17 year-old daughter alcohol and coercing her into compromising situations.

There seems to be an attitude of “Well, we see these images everywhere” so it should be ok. Well, I don’t think it’s ok so bring on the hate. We’re suppose to teach our kids right from wrong and protect them when we need to, not just shrug it off as “it’s the way the world is now, so go to it.”

Yes, Wayne, if cops are suppose to enforce the law, then they need to obey the law.

I never said they didn’t.
but we can’t expect them to be superhuman or you’ll have some recruiting problems.

I do not see how anyone can defend a cop that is in authority taking advantage of young girls. I hope the cop goes to jail. I do not care if 100 years ago old men married minor women, it is wrong. It is a means of taking advantage of girls. Rape was ok in the past too because didn’t you know she dressed provocatively, yea right. When people are in a position of power they will be held to a higher standard. Anyone out their want this jerk-off to take his or her drunk daughter, sister or wife to the cop shop. Hang this shit head and hang him with a short rope.

also, our empire is falling anyway. can’t we just accept it and collapse into an orgy of bread&circuses? and real debauched orgies, too.

it’s so asinine the way every generation somehow thinks they can prevent the next from learning by making mistakes. do you really think they’re going to listen to you any more than you listened to your parents’ generation?

That is why we have laws.

I guess that’s where we differ, Wayne, as I don’t think it’s an outrageous expectation for the cop to hang with females who are of age.

I am not surprised though, when one can’t come up with a sound argument, it makes them feel better to insult the opposing opinion.

I prefer people who recognize that don’t have a good argument and insult to people who can’t come up with a sound argument yet present unsound arguments anyway.

It’s more fun for the bystanders and spares us the stupidity of unsound diatribes presented under the guise of being correct, because those usually result in bystanders getting annoyed and, recognizing the stupidity they are about to respond to isn’t worth their analysis, going straight to insults.

Carry on, mb21 (and whoever else sometimes gets stabby on MNSpeak).

I totally hope my daughter behaves like I did in high school. Though I guess she can replace the Atari and the hair metal with a Wii and indie pop.

thanks! how’s being a bitch?

Keep up the good work and don’t forget to buy tampons.

I’m glad to see that the men of MNSpeak really know how to hit below the belt.

Yeah, let’s try to steer clear of those sorts of comments, shall we?

Ha! I just got back from lunch and am getting caught up on Wayno’s retorts. Awesome.

I buy my tampons in bulk. I’m good for now. Being a bitch is working out just fine too.

Also, insulting is bestest when its witty/creative.

For tips on creative insulting see on MNSpeak see here (at 5:19 pm).

Underage drinking and cavorting leads to photo displays of “the shocker” at upscale restaurants.

DeRusha, would you consider the teens behavior to be “slutty”?

Also, insulting is bestest when its witty/creative.

Telling me to move is witty/creative…. Hmmm

I don’t buy tamps. I find that it furthers the feminist cause to just bleed all over everything and stare down anyone who would dare question my biological rights.

I shall not be shamed!

Everyone calm down or no drinking and cavorting with 17 year old girls with hand guns this evening.

It wasn’t meant to be witty and creative. It was serious.

The arguments that the laws are dumb, unfair, don’t make sense… are a moot point. The fact is they are currently the laws in place and this guy (regardless of occupation) is a dirtbag who deserves to be in trouble.

I shall not be shamed!

Our cervici will not be held back!! I join you Aliecat in proud, feminist bleeding…

Perhaps, as a general rule, underage drinking, gun play, menstruation, and calling women “bitches” just isn’t the best comic fodder.

Our cervici will not be held back!! I join you Aliecat in proud, feminist bleeding…

Sweet! I’ll send you a pair of white pants.

dogdammit, that graph by teucer from the cross burning thread is even funnier in hindsight than it was originally. that, coupled with my cough medicine, is inducing bouts of giggly euphoria up in here.

Ew, nate said menstruation…

I bet you say “intercourse,” too, donttcha? Hee!

Reitmeier and Taniguchi had their shirts off when the girls arrived, and the teens eventually took off their shirts but not their bras. When the teens started kissing and one fondled the other’s breast on the kitchen floor, the two men took pictures and 60-second video clips with a cell phone.

Have people actually read the article? I hadn’t read it closely.

Here is a little recap.

The 25 yo cop’s buddy invites some 17 yo’s to his house. The two guys have their shirts off. Cop give girls beer. Drunk girls go wild. Guys take pics.

Do we know the cop knew how old these girls were? He made some bad judgements obviously but is he a child rapist? Hardly.

I call it menses. Or the shedding of the endometrium. Or the time when we send women to the huts.

Nobody likes an angry uterus…

It wasn’t meant to be witty and creative. It was serious.

The arguments that the laws are dumb, unfair, don’t make sense… are a moot point. The fact is they are currently the laws in place and this guy (regardless of occupation) is a dirtbag who deserves to be in trouble.

No doubt, but telling me to move is equivalent to telling an anti-war person to move to a different county which isn’t fighting Iraq.

If I disagree with something government/society does, should I always automatically move? WTF?

Should only people in full agreement with the status quo stick around?

WTF? Your argument is ridiculous.

Personally, I never have coitus with my spouse when she’s menstruating. Nor did I massage her pectorals when she was lactating.

I have to go urinate now out of my urethra.

I”m anti-war vlad. Let’s move away together and live happily ever after…

What kind of world do you live in, Wayne, where not buying 17-year-olds beer, not playing around with your police-issued guns, and not taking sexual pictures of teenagers = superhuman?

And you, Just Sayin’, where do you live that doing all the above crappy things is just being a “weak-willed man” and “natural”?

(Or did I miss your sarcasm?)

Personally, I never have coitus with my spouse when she’s menstruating.

I hear that causes insanity in men.

Nor did I massage her pectorals when she was lactating.

Big liar.

mb21, I wasn’t suggesting you were being witty or creative. I was commenting on why people tend to insult in general. Sorry about the confusion.

Total overshare, Nate.

I have a feeling that lactating pectoral massage is going to come up on Jpav’s Top 10 adult vids list.

As a side note, I have to say that’s it’s nice to participate in a MNSpeak thread after a long hiatus. Yesterday I turned in the first draft of the book I’ve been writing for the past year. So today is my first day “back at work,” which for me implies frequent visits to MNSpeak to learn the latest in pop culture, the arts, politics, and naked pics of teens taken by cops.

Damn! It’s good to be back!

Bixby- I was responding to vlad. Stop being so racist.

Nobody likes an angry uterus…

Especially after it’s been drinking. Damn drunken uteri…

my drunken uterus always gets me in trouble… hence the public shocking

Wait, since you took pictures of me shocking things, does that mean you could go to jail for pornography too???

That’s not porn, mb21, it’s art.

Speaking for myself, if I’m going to go to prison for pronography, I’m going to ask that you do more than flash the shocker, mb21.

@mb21:
Of course you weren’t responding to me. Clearly it’s because I’m black. I see how it is.

Wait, you’re black, Bixby?

Bix is black? Then who the hell was I burning those crosses with?

Wait, Nateek, what are you talking about long hiatus? You were in the thread about the house blowing up a few days ago. Or last week. Or something.

Bix is black? Then who the hell was I burning those crosses with?

Bixby in white face?

Jesus, next thing you know, you all will be telling me Max and Grote are Jewish.

Nate: So what’s the book about? Is it being published? Is it some racy romance novel or one of those boring educational text books?

Just when the thread was getting all heated and supa snarky, you gang of jokesters try to lighten the mood with your hilarity.

Stop it! my cheeks hurt from laughing.

Carry On.

It was Grote’s lawn we burned the cross on, so he’s something.

Alie, I think you should sit down…

The 25 yo cop’s buddy invites some 17 yo’s to his house. The two guys have their shirts off. Cop give girls beer. Drunk girls go wild. Guys take pics.

Do we know the cop knew how old these girls were? He made some bad judgements obviously but is he a child rapist? Hardly.

It’s the first thing that crossed my mind when I read it and the complaint further mentions:

….who was later determined to be Reitmeier. Witness #2 stated that the homeowner asked the females how old they were, but Taniguchi stated that it did not matter.

But that doesn’t excuse the brandishing of the weapon and unfortunately doesn’t give him any excuse to provide them with alcohol. Just because someone underage is in a bar doesn’t mean they can be served and all that.

I feel for the cop but he probably should have known just a tad bit better

God, my world is crumbling. CRUMBLING!

I am no radical liberal, but guys what the fuck. I have always told my little sisters most men are pieces of shit and that all they want to do is take your cloths off and fuck you. I guess I was totally correct. One more thing I have little sisters and nieces. Their is always a brother, dad or boyfriend who is just as willing to break the law i.e. assault if you fuck with someone they love. Keep that in mind.

CRUMBLING!

Like bacon?

And really, who did that cop think he was giving kids alcohol? A wrestling coach?

flash the shocker,

Can someone clarify for my poor uninformed self what this means? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term before.

Their is always a brother, dad or boyfriend who is just as willing to break the law i.e. assault if you fuck with someone they love. Keep that in mind.

I find an angry, drunken uterus is also effective.

Mnblrmkr:

See definition here.

Can someone clarify for my poor uninformed self what this means? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term before.

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

I don’t think I’ve heard the term before…

Are you being funny??

The shocker is the hand motion I gave the two zimmern look alikes. And achicks crotch, and the silver spoons pick, and teucer’s face… well you get the picture.

CRUMBLING!

Like bacon?

That bacon did not crumble.

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

You forgot the little boy in the canoe.

Wait, how many Andrew Zimmerns were there? 2 or 3. I only saw two but I kept hearing people say there were three.

From urban dictionary:

Two in the easy, one in the sleazy
Two in the rung, one in the dung
Two in the pounder, one in the rounder
Two in the cooter, one in the pooter
Two in the pump, one in the rump
Two in the grasshole, one in the asshole
Two in the rug, one in the plug
Two in the frollicks, one in the bollocks
Two in the punk, one in the bunk
Two in the pump, one in the rump
Two in the shooter, one in the tooter
Two in the fucker, one in the pucker
Two in the cha-cha, one in the ka-ka
Two in the choo-choo, one in the poo-poo
Two in the spunk, one in the bunk
Two in the funk, one in the stunk
Two in the ponanny, one in the shit cranny

Dear god, I’m crying inside.

Nate: So what’s the book about? Is it being published? Is it some racy romance novel or one of those boring educational text books?

How about something in the middle? Not middle. Definitely leaning toward “education book.” It’s basically about workplace environment for educators. Basically: if it’s a shitty place to teach it’s probably a shitty place to learn. I try to de-shit the staff climate.

Somehow I don’t think it’s going to sell a whole lot on Amazon. It will be published next November to much fanfare (from my mom).

And bixby is right – I’ve popped in every so often for study breaks. But this is the first day when I can really roll up my sleeves and finagle my way into the middle of something.

Nate, youre internet wife will purchase your book. Don’t you worry.

Your book sounds interesting. I’m in the process of trying to write an article on failure in college for the Chron. of Higher Ed based on some research I did. We should chat.

Your internet husband will autograph it.

Awesome. Then I’ll have my internet friend alie take a picture of me shocking it. Then we’ll post it on the internet.

We are such nerds.

Anyway, Nateek, welcome back to the shit show.

Two in the pump, one in the rump

I just love the word rump.

I don’t think I’ve heard the term before…

Are you being funny??

Wasn’t trying to be. I haven’t heard it before. I had a pretty good guess what it probably meant, but I wasn’t sure if there was some specific definition I was missing.

And seriously, if anyone has suggestions or advice on blog hosts, I’d like to hear them

I invented a version of the shocker-like gesture years ago in an entirely different direction.

The shocker = holding down ring finger with the thumb.

I invented “The Nest,” which is holding the middle finger down with the thumb. It’s given in an opposite fashion of “flipping the bird,” hence the name.

So if someone gives you a donut, you could flip them the Nest. Or if you drop your wallet and someone gives it to you, give them the Nest.

I didn’t invent it, but there’s the Boy Scout’s gesture: hold your pinkie down with your thumb, palm out.

And then, if you turn your hand around, you tell the other person to read between the lines.

Just replace “utube” with “shokr”.

Either way, it’s being done wrong.

But this is the first day when I can really roll up my sleeves and finagle my way into the middle of something.

great….now nate is fisting MNSpeak. gotta go, some clever mathematician lit a big plus-sign on my front lawn and we’re making smores with kosher marshmallows.

our law system likes the ‘have your cake and eat it too’ approach.

And our lawmakers love cake (as do their staffers)!

nom nom nom

Can anyone tell us how it’s “done right”?

Or if it’s done at all?

It may be just an “urban legend”.

I like how easy it is for people to miss the point here.

or to selectively read what someone writes and take it out of context.

god bless the internets!

Here’s your answer, bud.

I like how easy it is for people to miss the point here.

god bless the internets!

Seriously wayno. I hear you. At no point was I inferring that I was making my return to MNSpeak in order to fist it. Sheesh! That’s just gross and wrong.

And enjoy the s’mores grote. Hey, you weren’t the joker who threw the Ninja Throwing Star of David at my bike the other day over by the JCC were you?

ninja, puleese!

swandog, you shouldnt be lying to your little sisters bro–no one wants to get with them…They didn’t look that hot when I was peering in through the window the other night….

That was one of the monks of the Shalom Temple, nateek.

How does one selectively read “buy some tampons?”

Oh “buy some tampons“!

I just read it as “some”. That makes a bit more sense.

F- Wayno.

No kidding, teucer, my uterus was teh cornfused.

Yeah, I’m not sure what I read wrong. The first time he called me a bitch or the second.

swandog, you shouldnt be lying to your little sisters bro–no one wants to get with them…They didn’t look that hot when I was peering in through the window the other night

You definitely where not looking at my sister’s because dude they are hot. As far as that goes I wish they where not it is a pain in the ass keeping shit heads away from them when we go out.

my uterus was teh cornfused

Corn doesn’t go in your uterus alie.

Bob, what have you been up to???

Bix, I am with you. People spoke of three Zimmern lookalikes, but only two ever appeared at the same time. The weepy busboy had a full head of dark hair so he was clearly not one of the three.

lmao?

oh and mnblmkr, as probably the only non blogger here, I will reply to your blogging question: I have no idea. But I’m glad you are still gung-ho on the project!

The one manager dude was the 3rd Zimmern…

Why you gotta be such a bitch, mb? Gawd.

Bob, what have you been up to???

Ask him.

you gals are all biatches. i told my girlfriend yesterday that when we have kids, i keep my car and she drives the dodge caravan. she got all bitchy wit me, i just dooont get these hoes

Man! I wish all you bitches who were on the rag would stop being such bitches!

And in wayno’s defense: the first time he called you “bitch” was admittedly pretty lame. But the second time seemed really loving and sweet. Like, “Bitch. I love you so much. So much I’m going to give you the shocker.”

That sort of “bitch.”

PORNOCOP (nsfw) is just one more reason why we fled the scary, deranged, morally bankrupt suburbs for the safe, honorable, cozy confines of the city.

You definitely where not looking at my sister’s because dude they are hot.

You need to call me –STAT!

What the hell happened here?

And the thread has reached its inevitable punch line.

What the hell happened here?

The inevitable outcome of too much bacon.

We’re all on the rag, even the boys.

too much bacon and apparently I put my tampon in sideways.

Can anyone tell us how it’s “done right”?

Bud, see this.

No kidding, teucer, my uterus was teh cornfused.

So my dad was right: Corn bores are a bad thing.

aliecat, I’ll have what you’re drinking!

Inspired by this thread, I have written this story.

Your dad had a uterus? There’s a name for that sort of person, and that name is “mom”.

Mb21: “too much bacon and apparently I put my tampon in sideways.”

Don’t worry – possibly thanks to the work of the Human Genome Project, they found a cure for the misery of Periodic Homogametic Hormonal Disorder (PHHD).

Apparently, it was going to be called “Bitch-b-Gone” but it didn’t test well with the focus groups. They were so moody.

Max, hopefully you have access to modern male hygiene products. From what I hear, those pads with belts suck.

Oh, and the new name for my apartment is “The Menstrual Hut.”

~The Menstrual Hut is a little ol’ place where/
We cycle together… Menstrual baby…!~

Icky words for the lady bidness:

Menstrual/Menstruation
Menses
Shedding
Uterine Lining
Clots
Vulva

Your dad had a uterus?

it’s called a duderus

Jason, you asked what happened to this thread too early.

I blame myself…and my uterus.

I blame your uterus too.

It can’t help that it’s angry.

So angry that it is seeing red?

Ewww. Ladies!

LOL! We grossed out Max! What do we win?

I have one the championship officially. Max is grossed out and I embarrassed achick with my vagina talk.

For your prize I’ll buy your uterus a drink the next time I see you.

My uterus likes Bloody Marys.

Ewwww.

hee hee hee

I blame myself…and my uterus.

That’s what she said.

Reitmeier and Taniguchi had their shirts off when the girls arrived

Ewww! Were they listening to Skynard and working out with hand grips too? Those guys have no game. That’s why they have to go for children. A grown woman would burst into laughter at that site.

Grote: “it’s called a duderus”

Ha! I wish I had a duderus; what a great name!

And I would love it and hug it and I would call it George. And I certainly wouldn’t get all grumpy and complain when it was time for my monthlies, which is what I would call them. I think that’s sweet and old-fashioned.

I’d be sweetness and light and a joy to be with, no matter how much water I retained or how tender my nipples got.

I’d be sweetness and light and a joy to be with, no matter how much water I retained or how tender my nipples got.

lulz

I’m not sure which one of the half-dozen times you called me names I’m supposed to ignore and think you’re a lovely person, mb. oh and all those other times you shat on anyone else who disagreed.

but, uh, girl power I guess.

“3-13″ minutes?

I guess I need to triple my “endurance”.

Heh. This would make a great bit for DeRusha.