Secrets of the City

Who soiled office buildings with poop?

Police officer: Where were during this time, Jeremy?
Jeremy: I was at home playing Mario Party 8.
Police officer: Was anyone with you who can verify that?
Jeremy: Uhhhh…

For some reason, I really like the word “defecated.” So scientific.

I bet Mario and Luigi would vouch for your alibi, Jeremy.

“He no make-a the boom boom! Mahhh-rio see him!”

Donkey Kong was gone for a suspiciously long time though.

Not that I give a shit about children, but can anybody explain how this is not inconsistent with laws about movies?

What I can’t figure out is this… “a man who entered a Minnesota government office building Sunday and defecated in several rooms will be caught.”

Most people, I venture to suggest, could only manage pooping in one room. The guy may have dosed up on ex-lax and figs, or he has supreme sphincter control. Either way, this is not a man to be trifled with.

How’d you miss the one where Methodist Hospital has essentially killed a patient by removing the non-cancerous kidney?

Glad to see someone finally gives a shit about government.

How’d you miss the one where Methodist Hospital has essentially killed a patient by removing the non-cancerous kidney?

There’s a Methodist to their madness, David. Please, no more “surgery mistake” stories! I go under the knife next month….

The sad thing about the hospital case is that any procedures to prevent surgery on the wrong site (having the patient mark which side or area is to be prepped) wouldn’t work in this case, as the chart was wrong and there would be no way to tell from the outside which kidney was cancerous.

Max knows better than to cross the Methodists.

Does anyone else find it extremely ironic that the un-authorized pooper gained entrance thru an unsecured door, at the building that houses the Minnesota office of Homeland Security?

What a great play of irony, thanks pooper!

In other news not posted here:

The Twin Cities made Forbes list of “Ten Cleanest Cities in America.” Check the slide show for more.

Today is the birthday of Dr. Rudolf Diesel, inventor of the engine that bears his name. Watch WCCO-TV tonight at 10 p.m. for an interesting story on a local effort to make the engines cleaner. Also tune in the WCCO morning news Wednesday for live commentary from Just Plain Me.

“Your standards of security are the best… for me to poop on!“

Does anyone else find it extremely ironic that the un-authorized pooper gained entrance thru an unsecured door, at the building that houses the Minnesota office of Homeland Security?

But not surprising. This just seems to be par for the course, where once competent government agencies have been turned into jokes.

Although this instance was a state office building, there was a report released recently highlighting how the Federal Protective Service has become the new FEMA since being moved form the GAO to Homeland Security.

Private contractors even watched as an FBI surveillance trailer was stolen from a Federal building in Los Angeles.

Miami might have clean air from the winds off the ocean, but the city is filthy. Never seen so much litter. Because of sewer leaks, they occasionally have to close South Beach to swimming. Two blocks off the scrubbed Ocean Drive and it’s nasty. Downtown is icky-icky.

Private contractors even watched as an FBI surveillance trailer was stolen from a Federal building in Los Angeles.

That’s very similar to something that happens in season 2 of The Wire.

Does Reebok’s $1 million fine seem, well, like a small tap on the wrist?
I think Reebok handled the aftermath well, but where was the forethought when thinking about giving away the charm bracelet w/shoe purchase?

It’s a banner day when a poop thread is actually based on real news. YAY!

You are right, Rat, weather patterns and geography make all the difference. I have been to Miami, too. Never stuck me as a clean city.

When we moved from Miami, and made our first trip to downtown Minneapolis, the city looked immaculate.

Wanna see a city that is scrubbed clean every morning? Nice, France.

Wanna see a city that is scrubbed clean every morning? Nice, France.

No wonder they call it that, Rat. Certainly can’t say the same of Paris.

I was greatly impressed by how clean Geneva, Switzerland was.

Dude was just copying THE OFFICE.

Ok, ok, I got it.

We need to organize a Sturgis-style bike rally, but for hipsters on fixed-gears. When all of the residents of Portland go to it, then we march there and burn it to the ground, after looting the place for their trains. Who’s with me?

Paris is grimy, but it’s historical grime.

The grime is historic, but the urine is recent…

Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

“Deadly charm draws $1M fine”?

How can they fine Jeanette Trompeter like that?

It’s not fair!

Strib:
“Surveillance cameras did capture images of the suspect, but the description rendered from the images is so broad that an arrest is unlikely”.

Discuss.

The grime is historic, but the urine is recent…

As is the dog shit. It’s a great way to catch tourists–they’re so busy looking at their surroundings that they don’t watch where they’re stepping (speaking from experience here).

I like the grime of Paris. Although in August, beware of the sneaky “round-the-corner-stench-assault.” It caught me off guard a few times and triggered the hurl reflex.

I thought Lausanne, Switzerland was one of the prettiest cities in Europe. It’s on the lake, it’s mountainy, and the people were so unbelievably nice to us. The streets are really steep so I would (try) to run them every morning and the locals thought I was insane. I guess when you live there, walking the hills multiple times a day is exercise enough for them. I think I left parts of my lungs there.

Not that I give a shit about children, but can anybody explain how this is not inconsistent with laws about movies?

To answer your question, there are no laws regarding children’s ages and the movies they can be allowed to view. The system is strictly voluntary by theater, and probably enforced by contract with the MPAA.

The Twin Cities made Forbes list of “Ten Cleanest Cities in America.”

Except inside the buildings,
poopy damn things.

We can’t stop the kids from playing violent video games. We need them trained for our impending invasion of Iran!

Let’s worry about potty training them first.

How about a video game of shut the f*ck up you twirp.

Sorry I spilled the beans, I thought it was public knowledge after Fallon quit!

Not to start a political thread, but I saw this on the Monitor and just had to LOL. Add McCain’s famious jowls and you really got a Political Animal!

Strib:
“Surveillance cameras did capture images of the suspect, but the description rendered from the images is so broad that an arrest is unlikely”.

Discuss.

squatters’ rights, bud.

Grote is doubleplusgood

“Surveillance cameras did capture images of the suspect, but the description rendered from the images is so broad that an arrest is unlikely”.

Was it the bridge? All of those bridges look alike and I hear one was carrying a “630-ton load”.