Secrets of the City

Too bad the pizza tastes like soggy, blood-soaked cardboard.

Heh.

Never eaten there, even though it’s in the neighborhood. But the level of criticism for the place seems to draw me there.

Rat, the pizza’s quite good, but it’s different. I like the thin crust Italian wood-fired pizza. In Raindog’s silliness, there’s a kernel of truth (there always is), if you let the pizza sit, it can get soggy. The curse of the almost tortilla-thin crust.

This feels like advertising.

Silliness? Damn, DeRusha, you’re either a diplomat or a suicide.

@—

This is advertising, just like the rest of the internet.

Punch Pizza = meh. Very overrated and doesnt’ live up to the hype. I love thin crust pizza, but this is too soggy. You basically have to eat it all in one sitting because it’s not good the next day.

I’d rather have Papa Murphys…

Very overrated and doesnt’ live up to the hype.

Are you confusing hype with just good marketing?

Damn those regular customers! They keep coming back. Don’t they know any better?

I’d rather have Pizza Nea.

Punch pizza is just way too trendy and hipster for me.

I’ve been there once and I was very underwhelmed. The way my buddy talked about it, I was expecting the second coming of Christ in pizza form or something. Cardboard crust and cheese with an option of getting some trendy toppings. Whoop-de-freakin-do.

The Freshcetta in my oven tastes better.

Where does one get purchase “trendy toppings”? Mm, sounds delicious.

I’ve only had the greek salad at Punch and it was really good. I’m not really a fan of thin crust, though. I prefer Luce…

A pizza Margarita is my favorite.

Tomatoes, basil, olive oil, mozzerella and maybe some olives. All of them have to be fresh. The crust should be thin and cooked on a stone. Works great.

Punch pizza hits my throat’s g-spot.

Every time.

Punch Pizza and Diablo Cody should do an ad campaign together.

Every time I think about going to Punch, I remember that Pizza Nea is right up the street. Nea is less crowded, offers actual service, and, IMO, the pizza’s better. YMMV on that one, of course.

That’s not to say Punch is bad–their pizza is pretty damn good. But Punch is just a little full of itself, and their old “NEIN! NO PICTURES OF ZE OVEN!” policy really rubbed me the wrong way. I’m glad they changed the policy, though.

This is where I mention Red’s Savoy pizza.

“I’d rather have Papa Murphys…”

Sorry, what? Pizza that isn’t and was never meant to be cooked in a proper pizza oven?

As for thin crust not being good the next day, try heating it up in a pan on the stove instead of in the oven.

This is where I mention Red’s Savoy pizza.

Damn straight Bud, gimme a Savoy or a Pizza Luce pizza. Mmmm, The Luce. Garlic. Mmmm.

Kevin: Does the “g” stand for “gag”?

Where does one get purchase “trendy toppings”?

Urban Outfitters, duh.

Good grief, people are now pretentious about pizza, of all things? I’ve heard it all now.

“Sorry, what? Pizza that isn’t and was never meant to be cooked in a proper pizza oven?”

Oh please. How is Papa Murphy’s not pizza? Just because it’s not cooked on a pile of rocks?

It all started with Raindog. She gnawed through the restraints again and got to a computer.

people are now pretentious about pizza

one man’s refinement of taste is another gal’s pretension. If you like flavorless flash-frozen dough, shelf-stabilized metallic-tinged sauce, and “cheese” that’s a member of the plastic family…be my guest. I was in college once, too. But I like real honest fresh flavor.

Ohhh, a pronouncement from the Czar of Pizza!

Not the Pope, then?

Actually, it’s the Cavaliere di Gran Croce di Pizza. But thanks.

Pope, king, cavaliere? None of these are democratically-accountable positions. I’m skeptical.

The Punch on E. Hennepin is weird. Nea is much more comfortable. The place to go is the original Highland Village Punch. Service and really cute waitstaff and I swear I’ve only dated one of them.

Savoy’s great too, but you can’t even think of the Savoy and Punch pizza as being in the same food group. They may both be called pizza, but that is about all that’s similar about them.

I’m thinking it should be more of a lifetime appointed position so the Czar of Pizza would free of political influence.

It lacks a certain Italian-ness. How about Doge?

Here’s Eye-talian for ya: Il Pappone del pizza.

I’m sure I’ve bastardized it, but it means: “The Pimp of Pizza”

Frankly, I am more comfortable with the title of Presidente del Consiglio dei Ministri del Pizza. To paraphrase Wikipedia, his or her activity would consist more in mediating between the various pizza chefs in the majority coalition.

That’s-a democratically accountable-a meat-a-ball!

Mama mia, here we go again…

If we’re going to talk about overly hipster hyped pizza, Luce needs to be on the table. Apart from the place’s late close time, there is virtually nothing to recommend that place.

Punch and Pizza Nea are quite tasty, but all pale and quake like the puling and craven purveyors of inferior dough they are in the face of Famous Ray’s on Lexington in Midtown Manhattan.

Punch is the best pizza in town! FRESH mozzarella makes a world of difference. CRUSHED tomotoes beat any cooked sauce.

I took a friend there shortly after his return from Italy, and he was impressed by how close it was to the pizza he bought on the street there.

Most pizza in these parts is just an excuse to make a meal of low-grade cheez-food. Barf.

Famous Ray’s in Manhattan? Do they do delivery?

They do. Just not here. ‘Tis sad.

We had Punch on Sunday and I’ve got to be honest and say it was a big disappointment. I was fine with the soggyness as we picked up and ate at home (even though it is less than 5 mins door-to-door). But the flavor was blah and my crust was burnt all the way around and on the bottom. I like me some toasty crust, but this was bad. My husband’s salad was brown too.

No pizza ever will compare to walk-up pizza places in Italy.

Does anyone of us contemplating pizza here realize how much suffering and sadness there is in the world?

Does anyone of us contemplating pizza here realize how much suffering and sadness there is in the world?

Yep. We’re supposed to think of “serious issues” 24/7 and not have any fun.

Of course we do, Rat. We’re currently focusing on the suffering and sadness caused by pizza of less than stellar quality. Our compassion knows no bounds.

Here’s something for you The Rat.

This thread is a testament to how exciting those photos are.

=|

I like the pictures.

I also like pretentious hipster ingredients. mmm.

Rat: Of course we realize it, but today I choose contemplating Pizza while listening to Keb Mo’ and bad 70’s songs.

bad 70’s songs

No such thing. Billy, don’t be a hero. My baby loves lovin’. Can you hear the drums, Fernando! Bam-a-lam.

So what constitutes “trendy” or “pretentious hipster” ingredients?

Obviously not bacon.

Avocado? Parma ham? Organic spinach hand-plucked from a Zapatista Commune?

It would be nice if somebody could like something that wasn’t widely available in Minnesota 20 years ago without being called a trendy fucking hipster.

It would be nice if somebody could like something that wasn’t widely available in Minnesota 20 years ago without being called a trendy fucking hipster.

Give meth a shot?

But then if you like something that WAS available 20 years ago, does that make you unhip-to-the-ster?
Bacon is classic and always in style.

mmm… bacon

I thought hipsters were proud to be hipsters.

I thought hipsters were proud to be hipsters.

Please! That is soooooo 2006…

mb: is there some sort of bacon signal that goes up to you every time bacon is mentioned? You’re on it. It’s impressive.

If bacon isn’t trendy I don’t know what is. I seriously don’t get why everybody is suddenly in love with it.

Jason, what can I say? I love pork. In all forms with the exception of ham.

Oh, Paulie. You are so wrong. We’ve loved bacon since we were small children so it’s not sudden. We’re just now confident enough to talk about it publicly.

Paulie: “If bacon isn’t trendy I don’t know what is. “

Bacon isn’t trendy. It’s timeless. Truly classic, bacon transcends genres and mere fads. It will not be pigeonholed. But it will be eaten.

Bacon – the smoked meat beyond compare.

What 200 calories of bacon looks like

Doesn’t look like much to me.

Shit, bacon is so hipster trendy right now. Or, at least talking about a love of bacon is trendy. But Cat is right…any smart person has loved it for a long time.

…seriously though, the hipsterisms have even taken over our eating habits! Can’t we eat what we please without fear of being labeled!

Last week when I was on jury duty a group of us were talking about what is trendy right now. I mentioned bacon and no one believed me. It became quite the running joke. I think that is how they will remember me. Bacon girl.

Best delivered pizza in St. Paul Red’s Savoy and Saripino’s. Your lucky if your in delivery range of Sarpino’s. There regular pizza’s are good but there specialty pizza’s are very very good.

Anyone try the Billionaire’s Bacon at the 112? Pure arterial-plaque inducing heaven.

the bacon side dish at manny’s is quite literally to-die-for. 3 lb. slab of Neuske’s Applewood Smoked Bacon roasted in Manny’s 900 degree oven and sliced so that each piece is the approximate size of a twix candy bar, but with the unmistakably glistening mahogany finish that is bacon.

MNspeak Bacon Crawl. I’m serious.

Rat in a moment of ignorance, “I thought hipsters were proud to be hipsters.

Douglas Please! That is soooooo 2006…”

You mean in post 2006 they don’t take lots of pictures of each other doing hip/geeky things like going to proms dressed as twits or hitting each other with pillows or drinking cheap ass beer?

Can’t be!

You just described about sixteen different Internet using demographics, Rat. You’ll need to be more specific.

MNspeak Bacon Crawl. I’m serious.

Yes please.

Awesome! So who else is with us?

Note to other MNSpeakers: Although eating bacon is strongly encouraged, you should perhaps see this endeavor more as a restaurant/pub crawl.

Bacon wrestling, teucer?

I’m in, although, of course, I will eat no filthy swine.

All this talk of bacon – I won’t be able to sleep.

I rarely order bacon at a restaurant as many seem to think bacon needs to be burned or of leather consistency. Yuck!

I’m in.

So when and where? Is this Saturday too short notice? People always complain about short lead times for MNspeak events. Maybe the day before Easter won’t work for some of you?

If not this Saturday, what about next Saturday?

So far, we have the 112 and Manny’s on the b-list.

Any local sources for artisan bacon?

I rarely order bacon at a restaurant as many seem to think bacon needs to be burned or of leather consistency. Yuck!

Huh, I’ve had just the opposite experience. I rarely order bacon because they seem to think it needs to be chewy, rubbery, and translucent. Yuck!

I like it crispy. My timer for frying bacon is the smoke detector.

Next week is better for me. I could do this Saturday, but would have to meet the group later in the evening.

Anyone complaining about Punch has obviously never been to Italy and had true Italian pizza.

Now I’m not saying it’s nearly as good, but still. Complaining that Punch isn’t any good left over? No shit sherlock, that’s why their pizza’s are single serving sized, they aren’t meant for takeout either. I’ve only ever been to the one by Calhoun and in Eden Prairie, but have never had a soggy one out of probably a dozen visits.

And yes, Pizza Nea is better than Punch.

As for Luce being overrated, well it depends… Their traditional topping pizzas are certainly nothing to write home about, but the garlic mashed and baked potato ones are awesome.

Never been a huge fan of NY style pizza myself, and I’ve tried what are supposedly the best in NYC.

Chicago deep dish is great sometimes, but I can’t eat it too often. The best place in Chicago is the Oven Grinder, not exactly pizza per se, but amazing.

shouldn’t the Triple Rock be on the list?

The Nook over on Hamline in St. Paul has a BLT that has SO much bacon, you gotta pull some out and have a side dish of bacon.

But since if that is the only St. Paul place, maybe we could just make that a separate event. A field trip. You could all pile into my station wagon. This Saturday could work.

I’ve found that the easiest way to avoid Limp Bacon Syndrome (LBS) and setting off your smoke detector, is to cook bacon with a dry paper towel in the pan (off to the side). This also helps you avoid third degree grease burns.

Bacon cooks crisp in my palm — another benefit of being the spawn of Satan. That, and the free parking.

Yeah, but your BLT’s always smell of sulfur, bob.

True dat. I stunk up Jason’s Station this morning, in more ways than one.

Scroll to the scene of a cityscape hidden by sulfur fumes, “New Air Standards May Result in More Air Advisory Days>”

Speaking of culinary treasures, I’m enjoying a Mexican pop right now — a Jarritos pina.

But the chefs at Muffuletta in the Park are absolutely in love with it. There’s bacon in everything! Try the tartiflette at a Sunday brunch if you love bacon so much – there’s a half ton of bacon fat in it on top of the chunks.

Oh, and does anyone remember Rio Pizza in Maple Grove from about ten years ago? I swear it was the absolute best pizza on the planet – and I’ve been to Italy twice for you snobs who think reinventions can’t surpass the original product.

I guess I’m using the word “absolute” a lot today… hmm.

Absolutely.

Derailing onto the bacon topic even further, was anybody at Letterbox (Cupcake Saturday!) a few weeks ago when they were sampling chocolate bars with bacon bits?

I really, really wanted to like it, but I think I almost barfed a little. Bacon’s great, as is dark chocolate, but not together. One of those things you just gotta try though.

The bacon chocolate bar is fairly good, but I wouldn’t seek it out again.

As has been shown, two wonderful items put together don’t always double the deliciousness.

It used to be politics hijacking every thread, now it’s bacon. Could we maybe have a daily bacon thread?

Pawlenty: NO NEW BACONS

Keep your red pen away from my bacon Tpaw.

We have enough bacon, it’s time to cut back on eggs.

9th & Baconin
… And no one brings anything small into a bacon bar around here
They all started out with bacon directions
And the girl behind the counter has a tattooed tail
One for every year he’s away she said
Such a crumbling bacon

Ah, there’s nothing wrong with her a hundred dollars won’t fix
She has that razor bacon craving that only gets worse
With the sizzle and the frying of the skillet going by
And the clock ticks out like dripping bacon
Till you’re full of hot lard and bitters and blue spoon
And you spill out over the side to anyone who’ll listen

And I’ve seen it all
I’ve seen it all through the yellowed fingers of the evening bacon

Weird. Usually when I check on a thread over 24 hours later it’s beyond dead but you all are still talking about bacon.

I like the bacon at Hell’s Kitchen. mmm.

Weird. Usually when I check on a thread over 24 hours later it’s beyond dead but you all are still talking about bacon.

Because that’s what MNSpeak has become. It’s about nothing. Bacon is about as interesting as it gets here now.

I’m not gonna fry you some bacon
cause you asked for it
cause you need it, you see
I’m not gonna fry you some bacon
cause you tell me
it’s make or break in this
If you’re on your way
I’m not gonna make bacon so you’ll stay
If all you have is leavin’ I’m gonna need a better
reason to fry bacon… today

Weird. Usually when I check on a thread over 24 hours later it’s beyond dead but you all are still talking about bacon.

Because that’s what MNSpeak has become. It’s about nothing. Bacon is about as interesting as it gets here now.

Don’t be bitter, Jerry. Be Better. Embrace bacon, have some fun. You lost you’re sense of humor when you left the small screen.

Seinfeld: “Because that’s what MNSpeak has become. It’s about nothing. Bacon is about as interesting as it gets here now.”

Right, that’s it! I’m starting a Diablo Cody thread.

Go ahead and try, Oliver. I’ll just turn it into another discussion of Star Trek.

NUESKE’S

“I’ve done more than beat you, Kirk, I’ve eaten your bacon. And I intend to keep on eating your bacon.”

I’m not gonna fry you some bacon
cause you asked for it
cause you need it, you see
I’m not gonna fry you some bacon
cause you tell me
it’s make or break in this
If you’re on your way
I’m not gonna make bacon so you’ll stay
If all you have is leavin’ I’m gonna need a better
reason to fry bacon… today

ftw