Secrets of the City

For the record. Go Johnny. She’s smokin!

For the love of Christ taulpaul…I think this whole DC thing is just way to played out for anyone with half a life to give a fuck. Blah blah blah Diablo Cody fires golden chocolate eggs out of her cunt blah blah blah…

The fact that DC didn’t take slovenhero’s lame joke for what it was – a lame joke- shows just how sold out and out of touch with her own humanity she’s already become.

And Johny? Do we call him Mr. Trixie now?

Happy Easter!

I guess I’m the friggin Cadbury Bunny.

Johnny, touch humanity. Trixie, touch nice hands. D.C., touch the world. Steve, touch it. TaulPaul, touching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Diablo stuff is played out. I know a lot of you think so, and that’s fair enough. I would suggest staying out of this thread. There were a few others posted today; they may be more to your taste.

Why can’t we talk about Steve causing a divorce in peace.

Marsh is a homewrecker.

It’s so lame that I’m a virtual homewrecker.

Well, at least your guilt is assuaged. You’re just a tender little guy!

Deep down, Max. Deep down. I guess it’s my “Juno” side (i.e. vagina) showing a little.

So why all the Marshian fuss over DC not getting her propers from the Twin Cities media? It sounds like there might be a little sand in there or something.

NO MORE TALK ABOUT MARSH’S VAJAYJAY!

I just didn’t dig the Juno backlash. For a first script, I thought it was better than Goodwill Hunting, and Matt and Ben were worshipped in their hometown when they won.

But I guess that was before the internets.

I’m not really of the opinion that either deserved Oscars. And William Goldman is supposed to have script doctored Good Will Hunting.

Rumor has it someone did doctored “Juno” as well and pretty much rewrote everything after the first 30 minutes…

I think most real people think it’s cool that Diablo’s from the Twin Cities, but most of those who live on the internet have the most fun tearing people down. So that’s what happened.

I bet if there were a SouthieSpeak.com, people would be tearing Matt Damon a new one.

You are one humorless, coldhearted bastard, Max. You don’t think the ex-stripper or the Beantown best buddies should’ve won? Why? Even if you, say, thought “Lars and the Real Girl” deserved it more than Juno, don’t you root for the story behind the story a little?

Yeah, filmster, I bet there is. Did you hear Barack is a dirty muslim?

He won’t say the pledge of allegiance either!

stevemarsh: “Even if you, say, thought “Lars and the Real Girl” deserved it more than Juno, don’t you root for the story behind the story a little?”

Damn your fairytale post-modernism, Steve!

Now my vajayjay is painin’.

Even if you, say, thought “Lars and the Real Girl” deserved it more than Juno, don’t you root for the story behind the story a little?

Not really. I have nothing against Diablo, and she seems like an okay cat, but Tony Gilroy and Tamara Jenkins simply wrote better screenplays. I didn’t see Lars, so I can’t comment on that.

Okay, I know you guys like your Oscars by the book, but you know what, I’m just going to come out and say it.

Jonny Greenwood got screwed.

jderusha: “I bet if there were a SouthieSpeak.com, people would be tearing Matt Damon a new one.”

I bet much less savagely because Matt Damon is not a woman.

There. I said it.

I bet much less savagely because Matt Damon is not a woman.

I’m going to assume that’s a joke. Nobody gave Tamara Jenkins any grief because she’s a woman.

So true. I mean seriously, how many times did you hear, “I just didn’t find Juno believable. Teenage girls aren’t that smart” at the office this Oscar season?

And this is coming from somebody that hates Hillary, mind.

11 people saw The Savages.

Awards for excellence aren’t a popularity contest.

I’m going to assume that’s a joke.

And I’m just saying, The Savages didn’t make $140 million or whatever. Less backlash on something that only smart people went to.

I just think the whole backlash argument tends to just sweep aside legitimate criticisms people have about Juno. Steve Perry said he’s never seen such animosity toward a writer as there is toward Diablo, and some of that i undoubtedly true, but I’ve never seen so many people respond to honest criticisms with “you’re just jealous,” “you wouldn’t say that if she were a male writer,” “you wouldn’t be saying that is she hadn’t been a stripper,” and other rebuttals that are the equivalent of telling critics to just shut up.

Max has a point.

Ha! I’m not actually sure why I won that award. But I plan to win a regional Emmy this year.

I was going to make a regional emmy joke, but I’m too tired.

I hear you, max. But I really do think a lot of the backlash has to do with the fact that Diablo is a woman, and that she wrote a movie about a young woman. A criticism like, “I just don’t think teenaged girls are capable of being that witty” should be closely examined. Maybe not just dismissed with “You’re jealous!” But maybe we should think about why nobody asks if Holden Caufield’s wit is plausible. Or the rat-a-tat-tat back-in-forth in Superbad. I mean, you’ve met Diablo Cody. She’s actually that quick. There are plenty of girls who are.

Well, maybe not plenty.

I wasn’t crazy about the dialogue, but that’s not the lone criticism people have of the film. And Holden Caufield is an antihero, and deeply, essentially flawed. He’s a far more complex character than Juno.

Msparber: “I’m going to assume that’s a joke. “

No, Matt Damon really isn’t a woman.

But it’s actually not – I think Diablo Cody got given a rather harder time than most, partly because she set herself up that way because the media persona she’s awarded/been cultivating and partly because there’s no vindictiveness than that directed towards a lot of successful women.

Don’t get me wrong here, though. I wasn’t keen on Juno and there are a lot of legitimate reasons to criticize it. But still, I think that a lot of the vitriol (not criticism) flung her way was disproportionately vicious.

“Nobody gave Tamara Jenkins any grief because she’s a woman.”

Yeah, but that’s because she has psychic powers and lives inside a well.

Yeah, but that’s because she has psychic powers and lives inside a well.

That’s true. She gets grief mostly for being a troll.

Anti-hero? Deeply, essentially flawed? You never got knocked up in high school and decided to give away your baby, I guess.

Or splashed around naked in the Ridgedale Mall.

I have too.

You fucking liar.

Hey, if Juno can have a fictional baby, so can I.

Juno is this years “American Beauty.”

A few years from now people will be embarrassed it was given such undeserved hype. All this for a Pro-Life propaganda flick.

DC is one and Brooks & Dunn I say. Played her self out out damn spot.
Honest to blog.

There’s a vast chasm between “legitimate criticisms” and the freakish stuff that goes on here. This is the first Diablo post in a year that has anything resembling “legitimate criticisms” — and I’m sure it will turn ugly by morning.

Also noted: I’m curious if anyone in the national blog press picks up this story tomorrow.

Here’s my criticism of Juno:

It fucking sucked and I hated it.

Bingo.

Yeah, that’s one of the reasons I don’t do Diablo posts here.

Yep. You have cornered the market on legitimate criticism, rex.

All together now: “One of us…one of us…”

It’s so strange to me that you don’t post your comments about Diablo under your own name, weinerdog. Why is that?

fear of snoop bloggy blog featuring nate blog

Weird. But unsurprising.

supple yet firm

In all fairness to Diablo, I saw 10,000 BC tonight, and that movie made Juno look like Citizen Kane. Hell, it made Road House look like Citizen Kane.

How dare you impugn Road House!? American cinema at its finest, I tell ya.

Though it’s arguably second only to the Bikini Car Wash 8. Or possibly all of Shannon Tweed’s work from 1990-1997.

Did it make Ben Hur seem like an epic, max? Did it have dinosaurs? ‘Cause if it don’t have dinosaurs, I don’t want any part of it.

If MnSpeak isn’t going to force people to register, which as moderator Max knows is the case, then why is “you post anonymously!” considered a valid attack? Get a better comeback or stop wasting our time with the same tired argument.

Besides, half the clowns who post on a diablo thread give you enough valid ammunition without having to resort to “use your real name!”

Did I stumble into moviepoopshoot.com by accident?

“If MnSpeak isn’t going to force people to register, which as moderator Max knows is the case, then why is “you post anonymously!” considered a valid attack? Get a better comeback or stop wasting our time with the same tired argument.”

Melinda Jacobs, is that you???

I hear you, max. But I really do think a lot of the backlash has to do with the fact that Diablo is a woman, and that she wrote a movie about a young woman. A criticism like, “I just don’t think teenaged girls are capable of being that witty” should be closely examined.

I’ll be honest, I use a similar (but carefully worded) criticism because I liked the story and thought the movie finally discovered the reality it was striving for in the last 40 minutes or so… only I’m very clear about two things:

1) I found the dialogue jarring because I remember high school clearly. I knew some incredibly cool, incredibly intelligent kids, and none of them, girls or boys, were that spot-on all the time. Notch that all-too-clever verbiage back 50%, and I think we’ve got something comparable to reality.

2) I found that the adults in Juno had the same voice as the teens, and that struck me as a narrow vision.

And I absolutely agree with your point about Superbad, Steve – but Superbad was marketed toward the American Pie crowd, and I would never in a million years pay to see something like that. Juno was marketed differently, and therefore I went in with different expectations.

Leigha obviously hates womyn.

And use your fake name.

We all know you are grote in drag.

We all know you are grote in drag.

HAHAHAHAHA! Geoff – help!

I’m a little surprised that marsh felt guilty about having asked the question. I mean, it’s not like he was asking Lena if she was going to leave Ole.

Trying to be insightful and instrospective here, not judgemental. So, personally, I wouldn’t have the testicular fortitude to watch my wife spread her junk all over the stage and then spill it all over the internets…and I would hope that I also have the foresight not to expose my insecure self by marrying a gal who’d want to do that. As for marriage in general, it’s not for everyone…if you don’t have faith in the sanctity of marriage, then why enter into a marriage? Boundaries people…boundaries.

I’d pay to see grote in drag…

weinerdog is sounding an awful lot like raindog. And I don’t do drag…though I have been known to emulate Freddie Mercury on the weekend.

alie…my legs are smoking hot, but I’d be loathe to shave them. I think that after this long winter I’d be about a size 16.

“If MnSpeak isn’t going to force people to register, which as moderator Max knows is the case, then why is “you post anonymously!” considered a valid attack? Get a better comeback or stop wasting our time with the same tired argument.”

That wasn’t my point. Weinerdog is a regular poster with a consistent username, except when he/she goes on a tear against Diablo Cody, at which point he/she switches the a variety of other pseudonyms. I’m puzzled about why.

Which is not to say that “you post anonymously” isn’t a valid criticism. Just because we allow it on MnSpeak doesn’t mean that it is a great act of moral courage to say obnoxious things and then not sign your name to it, or at least a consistent username.

Even if you, say, thought “Lars and the Real Girl” deserved it more than Juno, don’t you root for the story behind the story a little?

Lars and the Real Girl is Mannequin for the Indie crowd.

The fact that DC didn’t take slovenhero’s lame joke for what it was – a lame joke- shows just how sold out and out of touch with her own humanity she’s already become.

If I had been in Diablo’s (or Jonny’s) shoes, I would’ve been taken by surprise by such a question. Their separation/divorce was probably already in progress and they were doing it quietly, i.e. away from the media spotlight. Marsh didn’t have any inkling that the scenario was happening (am I right?) and asked his question in jest. Diablo was obviously taken aback by the question. (”How did he find out?” she wondered.) So you can’t rightly consider it to be a “lame joke” on her part if the couple’s intent had been to quietly go their separate ways. Nothing certain has been said “why” they parted ways; it’s all, otherwise, pure speculation on our part.

I found the dialogue jarring because I remember high school clearly. I knew some incredibly cool, incredibly intelligent kids, and none of them, girls or boys, were that spot-on all the time.

It’s HOLLYWOOD, ladies and gentlemen. Or does all other Hollywood dialogue strike you as honest and real? Did “The Breakfast Club” strike you as being an honest-to-goodness retelling of the ’80s high school experience? Was the dialogue factual in any of John Hughes’ high school trilogy?

When did we forget that fiction is FICTION?

P.S. For those who might wonder, Iron Man (the comic book) was modeled on a real-life persona: Howard Hughes. Pure fantasy, yes, but a billionaire recluse connected umbilically with the military-industrial complex could inspire any writer to imagine many bizarre, over-the-top stories. But that doesn’t mean any of it really happened.

I’ve heard that argument before, noodleman, but I just don’t buy it. Juno was not Iron Man. It did not exist in a fantasy universe. It was rooted in, and promoted, as being an indie take on an actual experience that people have. One of my criticisms of Juno, and it’s a criticism I have of a lot of Hollywood movies, is that there doesn’t seem to have been any research that went into it.

A lot of Hollywood writers use “it’s just a movie; it’s just fiction” to excuse the most unbelievable or ignorant things that go into their film, but it is a weak excuse. Police movies aren’t set on Venus, and should bear at least a reasonable relationship with real policework. This isn’t a story about teen pregnancy and adoption that takes place in Middle Earth, it’s set in Minnesota.

Anyone else notice the similarities between Juno and Knocked Up?

The Jason Bateman character was nearly a carbon copy of the Paul Rudd character. One was a musician trapped in a marriage where he didn’t share the same interests as his wife. One was a A&R rep that was trapped in a marriage where he didn’t share the same leisure time interests as his wife.

Girl gets pregnant after having sex once with a person. Decides to have the baby.

I thought Knocked up might have been a better movie or at least more realistic with the characters actually growing. The characters in Juno were rather stagnant.

I am kind of tired of character development. I want to put archtypal characters in both mundane and ridiculous situations. I want a revival of the picaresque.

Police movies aren’t set on Venus

That’s a shame, though, isn’t it?

Knocked Up sucked. Superbad was funny, but Knocked Up had long stretches of boring and unfunny. Juno didn’t have that. So, yeah, probably not as realistic.

Alexis, we have to write a script together. Venus Police!

Same goes for a story about pregnancy and adoption in Middle Earth.

I think a realistic police movie being set on Venus would be great. You could set it up so that a hard-charging cop is transferred to the Venusian precinct after running afoul of his superiors in Manhattan. And then there is a long sequence where he is transported to Venus over the course of ten years, alone, and he dies en route because he was not prepared for the rigors of space travel, and there is no NYPD precinct on Venus anyway. The whole thing stinks a little bit in fact, and a young D.A. finds himself increasingly troubled the deeper he looks into it. So then in the next three-quarters of the movie there is a Congressional investigation into the rogue cop’s possible murder at the hands of the NYPD and crooked NASA officials. And Venus looms large in the earthling sky, and the people fear her power. So it’s kind of a procedural, and it asks hard-hitting questions like “Is it OK to send rogue cops to their deaths in space using taxpayer money?”

It could be called The Venusian. And the young D.A. is played by Ryan Gosling. And there is a kickass flashback scene when the cop is dying on the spaceship, where he thinks about things he will miss on Earth, like riding motorcycles. The cop is played by Ryan Gosling, too, because it turns out the D.A. is his twin brother.

Also, there is a crooked Senator played by Tom Wilkinson.

Knocked Up had long stretches of boring and unfunny. Juno didn’t have that.

Both had long stretches of unfunny. Juno was great fun for about 1/2 hour, and then it just dragged.

Well, that was easy. Now we need actors!

Chasing Windmills team, assemble!

Andy’s story sounds like Beverly Hills Cop unstuck in time and rewritten by Vonnegut.

Wow! Brilliant. Can’t we have some streetfighting scenes on Venus though?

There have to be a lot of scenes where people are looking at each other and saying “Why would they send a cop…into space?“

You could use that as sort of the anchor for the trailer.

You guys are right. Fuck all these pregnant bitches–the future is all about The Venusian.

It was rooted in, and promoted, as being an indie take on an actual experience that people have.

Really? I don’t remember reading one review that ever stated Juno was any more based on “fact” than is any episode of “CSI” or “The Wire.” Heck, even “Cops,” a so-called reality show, doesn’t truthfully represent the day-to-day experiences of every police department around the country or even, for that matter, the Brevard County Sheriff’s Department.

If I wrote a story or screenplay based on my own high school experience, I would certainly cast myself now in a far more creative light than was factually true … if only because I’ve now had 30+ years now to think of more witty comebacks.

Don’t forget the ground temperature of Venus is about 400 degrees centigrade, so they’ll probably have to dress like Crockett & Tubbs on Miami Vice to stay cool. Dunno what they’ll do about the hideous Sulphuric Acid rain; probably just stick to wearing dark colors?

All right, I’ve started a script for it on Zhura. Get cracking, MnSpeakers. I expect a complete shooting script by the end of the weekend.

venus is bs, it’s all about the moons offa jupiter:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082869/

So they’d have to be like, pregnant bloody acid zombie cops.

Really? I don’t remember reading one review that ever stated Juno was any more based on “fact” than is any episode of “CSI” or “The Wire.” Heck, even “Cops,” a so-called reality show, doesn’t truthfully represent the day-to-day experiences of every police department around the country or even, for that matter, the Brevard County Sheriff’s Department.

As I’ve said, it’s a complaint I have about a lot of what comes out of Hollywood.

omg, stop stop stop! I’m laughing so loud everyone in my office is glaring at me.

Not sure why you included The Wire on that list, though. It’s based in actual policework, draws from real stories from Baltimore, was created by an ex-cop and an ex-newspaperman, and is the best show television has ever produced.

Stevemarsh: “…Knocked Up had long stretches of boring and unfunny. Juno didn’t have that.”

See, I disagree. I just didn’t find Juno funny hardly at all; instead it put my teeth on edge a number of times.

Although I do that humor is largely subjective and I’m oh-so-familiar with often being in the minority over what I think is funny. Often, I’m a minority of one. Still, Knocked Up made me laugh out loud more regularly than Juno; but Juno was a much smarter premise than Knocked Up.

My beeper just went off…did someone call for the Chasing Windmills to assemble, or is it like that last false alarm, where Alexis needed dating advice?

I’m just bummed this thread turned into another “Juno” thread and not a “Jonny is an amoral serial monogamist” thread like the last one. Sigh. My ego will never recover.

My take on Knocked Up vs. Juno: in Knocked Up, as in all Apatow movies, the female characters exist only to be unfunny shrews that piss off the male characters into hanging out solely with each other, creating yet another moment for tearful, repressed-gay male bonding.

Paul, we want you to play a Venusian drug dealer named Hickory, who sells a drug called Vibe that makes people dangerously psychotic, and kills other drug dealers by scalping them.

Thank goodness….I’ll take the role without reading the script. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk about pubic hair sculpting.

Oh, good, Jonny’s here. Jonny, we’re going to need you to play an amoral serial killer who is pretending to be a robot to avoid detection by the Venusian police department.

female characters exist only to be unfunny shrews that piss off the male characters

sounds like my dinner plans for tonight.

>>> Oh, good, Jonny’s here. Jonny, we’re going to need you to play an amoral serial killer who is pretending to be a robot to avoid detection by the Venusian police department.

God, I am SO THERE. I’m gonna method-act that all the way. I demand that you call me “Blorg” in my trailer and at craft services. And I’m gonna need some hookers to kill.

How realistic are we being? Because pretty much everyone would be dead within moments on the frigid, inhospitable Venusian surface — and that is the sort of cleareyed gritty realism I am interested. I expect the bulk of the action plays out as death-coma fantasies, basically?

I want hookers! I want hookers!

(I just wrote myself into the script.)

And I’m gonna need some hookers to kill.

I understand that’s a standard rider in the new SAG contract.

Not if we reuse the suits from Dune and Children of Dune.

Andy get with it… at some point a scientist has invented a human anti-freeze that allows us to make this dream a reality. I would like to play said scientist.

Police movies aren’t set on Venus

No, the good ones are set on a moon of Jupiter.

andy…venus is hot and inhospitable. minnesota is frigid and inhospitable. maybe we set it in MN…somebody call Frances McDormand.

I’d like to be an extra.

Who needs realism? Read the comments here and people come off about as real as characters in the Sunday night lineup of Fox cartoons.

There’s even a guy who speaks about himself in the Third Person.

Not sure why you included The Wire on that list, though. It’s based in actual policework, draws from real stories from Baltimore, was created by an ex-cop and an ex-newspaperman, and is the best show television has ever produced.

I won’t quibble about the relative entertainment value the series has.

However, it The Wire “based on …” just like “All The President’s Men” was “based on” fact? Truly, have you gone through life believing that every journalist’s career will be like Woodward-Bernstein? That every newspaper has a Kathleen Graham or Ben Bradley at the helm?

Re: The Wire

Does the Baltimore Sun really have a reporter on staff who fakes stories to further his career?

David Simon: The Wire Exit Interview

Jonny’s a serial monogamist? I thought he was a Presbyterian!

I see ow that geoff beat me to that joke. But Outland was actually a good movie.

They’re related denominations. There was a split at the Mississippi synod of 1931.

* Space Western
* Drugs
* Mining
* Space
* Corruption
* Futuristic
* Io
* Jupiter
* Marshal
* Moon
* Racquetball
* Violence
* Hologram
* Exploding Body
* Explosive Decompression

^^^ how fucking awesome is that?? was there Explosive Decompression in Juno?? nooooo there was not!

“Okay, how many of you kids would like Itchy & Scratchy to deal with real-life problems, like the ones you face every day? (the kids all cheer and agree) And who would like to see them do just the opposite – getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers? (more cheering) So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show… that’s completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots? (The kids agree)”

“remember to recycle!”

was there Explosive Decompression in Juno??

There was is Snakes on a Plane. Therefore, despite what the idiotic critics had to say, Snakes on a Plane=Awesome.

“how fucking awesome is that?? was there Explosive Decompression in Juno?? nooooo there was not!”

I tend to overeat when I get bored, so there was where I was sitting.

was there Explosive Decompression in Juno??

nearly…in that basement dancing scene.

not very many films had moon raquetball violence holograms either. not even le regle de jeu

Andyst: “Because pretty much everyone would be dead within moments on the frigid, inhospitable Venusian surface — and that is the sort of cleareyed gritty realism I am interested.”

I see potential: Frigid icy wastes instead of firey high-pressure deserts? This isnt Venus  this is Titan! Those stuffed suits at Space City Hall set me up!

Also, I think there needs to be something that inspires sympathy in the audience. Maybe one of the cops could discover one of the old Russian Venera probes only to contract some kind of disease from it?

You have to be wary of those Venus Probes.

Also, I would request we absolutely “Carmina Burana” the living shit out of this thing. Wall-to-wall, seriously.

We must not forget to end the movie with the Bait and Switch: the Big Reveal that it all took place in the mind of an autistic midget child.

Oh, and the only clues are that she shows up in background mirrors.

I would like to play said autistic midget child.

If there is going to be a midget in this movie, I think we all know who would be cast.

I’d like to play the background mirrors.

I’m picturing this as the theme song:

you may think that shatner is the driving force in that song…but you understimate the power of the Moog. as such, this should be the theme song.

I think DC took the easy route when she had Juno hit on the aging married dude in a midlife crisis. I mean, I could see that coming for a mile away but other than that the movie was pretty good. C+

My only worry is now that Diablo Cody is an Oscar winner, she may feel that she has outgrown her fellow Chasing Windmills alums, and will refuse to appear in Venus Police. And we have such a good role for her, as the last surviving member of an alien race that once colonized Venus, but has been forced to go underground, where they mutated into crab-like creatures with human heads and giant brains, who can control people’s thoughts at will.

That’s not a theme, that’s the whole movie!

I can’t wait to review this on Rate My Cop.

Max, you are saying The Wire is better than Arrested Development?

Boy, I wish my browser at work could support the script editor on Zhura. I’d already be halfway through the scene in the spacecraft where Dugan’s suspended animation is broken by hypnotic scenes of his childhood and his long-dead father, being broadcast from the surface of Venus by the reanimated remains of the Mariner 2, which the crab women have rebuilt and pointed towards Dugan’s Venus-bound craft.

His father is riding atop a magnificent white stallion and imploring him to re-open the Callahan case. Dugan responds by shouting “CALLAHAN IS DEAD, DAD! CALLAHAN IS DEAD AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT!”

But actually, it’s not. The crab women know this. The crab women know this one goes all the way to the top.

The theme music for this scene is “Pictures of Matchstick Men,” by Status Quo.

Oh, wait, there’s only one crab woman. Sorry. Continuity error.

Fake hair.

Fake boobs.

Heavy thighs.

From Chicago, not “here”.

Poor taste in shoes.

Let’s move on.

I assure you that bud jr. will not be invited to the premiere party @ the Heights Theater.

But look what all that stuff did for you, bud.

Poor taste in shoes.

Bud is such a gay.

I don’t think we should toss around “gay” as an epithet.

Although bud is the only person I know who reads Withering Glances.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I don’t think she wore those million dollar shoes if that’s what he’s talking about. I think there’s some political resentment running around bud’s head like a rat in a red-hot maze.

But she might not even be liberal

Nothing wrong at all.

And I, for one, am in favor of fake boobs and chunky thighs.

Everything in bud’s head runs out like a scalded rodent…

I, for one, am in favor of fake boobs and chunky thighs.

Puts the D in Diablo.

i suppose it’s better than fake thighs and chunky boobs. who died and made bud jr. Richard Blackwell?

Bud is such a gay.

I’m sorry. I don’t get this insult. What is “a gay”. Is this a negative thing?

If Alexis is playing a hooker, we have to cast Johnny. Now what intergalactic language will we have them speak? hmm….

Duh: Klingon. The only intergalactic language we could probably both fake a few lines in.

One of my fav Star Trek lines is “..I saw fear in the Klingon’s eye.”

Damned if I know why…

Do I sense another sex scene brewing? This time they have to incorporate a Bat’leth or maybe a d’k tahg

Tallpaul: “If Alexis is playing a hooker, we have to cast Johnny. Now what intergalactic language will we have them speak? hmm….”

I thought that love was the only true intergalactic language (cf. William Shatner, 1965) that unites every being from the poorest man in the universe to the mightiest king, etc, etc.

Bud Jr: “Fake hair.

Fake boobs.

Heavy thighs.

From Chicago, not “here”.

Poor taste in shoes.

Let’s move on.”

Once again, Bud is not afraid to tackle the substantive issues head on.

God forbid a woman has heavy thighs…

May be true teucer, but if love is the only true intergalactic language….does that mean divorce is the only true intergalactic bitch slap?

To bring this conversation full circle, of course…

Is it me, or is the fascination of aliens from outer space greater here than in the population as a whole?

Let me check comScore and I’ll get back to you on that “?”

God forbid a woman has heavy thighs…

Well, Led Zeppelin warns us that big legged-women have no souls…

I d’k tahg’d your mom.

Care to guess how many times did those chunky thighs wrapped around Rob Nelson’s big head?

The over/under is 15.

Theywrapped around his head 15 times? Weird.

The Rat: “Is it me, or is the fascination of aliens from outer space greater here than in the population as a whole?”

You will pay for your insolence, puny terran!

No no, not you Jonny. Other Johnny. Although I’m sure you could fake a sex scene just as well.

“Is it me, or is the fascination of aliens from outer space greater here than in the population as a whole?”

Whoa, my primary interest with this project has always been in the gritty street poetry of cops and their no-holds-barred world.

Just in, like, a Venusian context.

I so didn’t know that episode existed, and was ALREADY IN KLINGON.

FUCK. I’m like two steps behind, but I’m *clever*. That will do me no good in life.

You have the soothsayer abilities of a Steve Marsh.

with the exception of a brief visit by raindog, this has been a rather civil DC-centric thread. someone might wanna tell Rex that MNSpeak went kinda old-school this afternoon.

Yeah, where’s the usual array of “Just Sayin’”’s?

Don’t temp fate, Jonny.

It’s usually better to work with fate full-time because the insurance benefits are so great.

I temped fate for a year, and it just doesn’t look good on the resume.

The faster they rise the faster they fall.

I temped fate for a year, and it just doesn’t look good on the resume.
Seriously? Was it because you only listed one year’s experience?

Diablo Cody is hot.

Am I?

Wow Kev. The unkindest cut of all.

Once a Republican deems you “hot” it’s just a quick descent into Sea Hag territory.

(See Ann Coulter, Michelle Bachman, and Cindy McCain et. al.)

I actually had spend six months as Clotho while she was on maternity leave, thanks to a temp gig I landed via Kelly Services.

Even though I didn’t do so well in Kelly’s touch typing test, the Sisters decided that my sure hand in drafting thread from a distaff plus with my experience in writing Visual Basic macros for Microsoft Access pretty much clinched the deal.

Jewno:

It seems like that actually is JK Simmons as the father.

@bud jr. for future reference