Secrets of the City

We’re doing the Tunnel of Love dinner at Underwater Adventures, where the fiance works. But I also had a couple dozen sent there in the morning and the greatest thing ever, a group of people to sing her a couple songs and embarrass the hell out of her hehe.

Here’s one thing I’ve done before that I’ll throw out there to you all – go buy a bag or two of fortune cookies. At least every other one will have a big enough of a gap that you can take the fortune out. Write your own, and put it in there. Or, just make your own fortune cookies. She’ll love it – I swear!

As is usual for basically every other Valentine’s Day ever, I’m spending this one as a single woman. I’m going out to dinner with a group of other single gals to be filled with much alcohol and mocking of couples.

No offense to the happily paired off, but as much as I try not to let it get to me, the Vday sucks ass when you’re single, and you have to do what you can to keep your spirits up.

It’s my policy to invite people who are single over to our house for cocktails on Valentine’s day, and then have sex with them, so they don’t feel left out.

Don’t tell Coco.

Don’t forget the Valentine’s Day Suggestions from Captain Capitalism!

My mom sends me Vday cards when I’m single with little notes like: “well, at least you don’t have to wash a man’s dirty underwear!”

Max, that’s very kind of you.

Wait, max, if she doesn’t know, then you’re the only…oh.

I’ll just stay home and watch LOST, like I did last year.

It’s nice that LOST moved its timeslot for you, Kevin.

I just got home from Regina’s. The DA loves their milk chocolate hearts.
10 oz. $8

I’m going to serenade my wife with this little ditty.

Haha suckers. I’m going to be doing mountains of homework. So much homework, I won’t even notice what day it is! Awesome!

You give chocolate hearts to the District Attourney, Maz?

I ain’t in jail for a reason.

Smart.

I should send chocolates to the DA and police departments too I think. My one Power Abuse website is slowly gaining speed and I best grease all the wheels when I can heh

Like every year since High School, I am totally ignoring Valentines Day. Hear that V-Day? You are dead to me!

Amber kills romance.

Amber’s got issues.

My bf and I are making enchiladas and margaritas and watching Lost. FUN! Then one of my single friends is having a big group dinner at Azia on Friday. Cranberry curry, here I come!

After paying retail for anything, going out for a date on Valentine’s Day is right at the top of my list of things that suckers do.

Mrs. Champs has a class activity that night, and I’m working on a new side project. Instead, we went to Cat Power and traded innuendos over Famous Dave’s two meat combo last night…

jpavleck – you sound like an awesome boyfriend.

I just bought a card at Lunalux that says “Happy Fucking Valentines Day.” I’m really not that bitter, I just think it’s funny.

I’m going to a cupcake and cocktails party (emphasis on the cocktails)

going out for a date on Valentine’s Day is right at the top of my list of things that suckers do.

“It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow, than to spend tonight like there’s no money,”

– PJ O’Rourke

What’s wrong with me that I’d be more interested in the cupcake side of the cupcake and cocktails party?

OK, that’s a total lie. Sorry.

Mmmmmm Yummy cupcakes….

It’s nice that LOST moved its timeslot for you, Kevin.

Providing a convenient VD excuse for two years running.

Funny, I’m having a cocktails and cupcakes party soon…now that my baking curse has been lifted.

It’s my policy to invite people who are single over to our house for cocktails on Valentine’s day, and then have sex with them, so they don’t feel left out.

Don’t tell msparber.

It’s my policy to invite people who are single over to my barber shop for cocktails on Valentine’s day, and then make cupcakes with them.

Okay, meat pies, but on Valentines Day we add pink frosting!

So basically Coco and Max give each other an orgy for Valentine’s Day every year, which is kind of awesome.

That us all over.

We do the meat-pie thing, too. That’s what we call it anyway.

They put the VD in Valentine’s Day!

Valentines you say….hrmphh…

**marches aimlessly toward the nearest Coach store.

Thanks for reminder — need to get something for the long-suffering Mrs. L, who doesn’t dig my new whiskers too much.

Coco and Max,

You each invited me to your respective parties. I’m not sure what to do!

Oh man – while I get a good kick out of reading Amber’s blog, I couldn’t disagree more with just about everything she claims girls/women actually like. Aside from the guy-clothing thing – she’s spot on with that – pleated pants are never okay.

So, um, guys – want to know what a girl likes? Ask her. ‘Cause they’re all different.

I didn’t realize Valentines Day could generate so much venom.

need to get something for the long-suffering Mrs. L, who doesn’t dig my new whiskers too much

Vaseline?

oh no you di-int.

“Creative and homemade gestures mean so much more than anything store-bought or phancy-pants.”

I guess it’s settled. I’m taking back the phancy-pants and giving the wife a homemade gesture.

I don’t know what Amber said that got everyone so fired up. She said “I don’t love the traditional Valentines Day stuff.” and “I’m a fan of smaller, more meaningful gestures.”

She told guys to send roses to work, personalize Hershey’s kisses, and/or put together a gift basket.

She said don’t make a mix CD, give lingerie unless you know what you’re doing, or cook her dinner.

Other than the not cooking dinner thing– where is this controversial? I’m confused.

If my husband decides to buy me underpants for Valentine’s Day it darn well better be a nice comfy pair of Hanes. I don’t need a thong as a “gift”.

That said, I bought Wild tickets for him.

Her ideas sounded pretty mainstream to me. I was a little confused too.

Derusha – what kind of slutty things do you have planned for V-Day?

I can’t really answer that because I’ve given up the word “slutty” for Lent.

Damn it. I said it again.

I’m not riled up – I just respectfully disagree – here’s why:

1) Flowers to work: I don’t want anyone buying me flowers on V-day – a dozen roses are $60 at minimum. You can get a dozen for less than half that the rest of the year…and while I love flowers, it just seems so wasteful to get them on a particular day when you’ll get gouged.

2) Personalize Hershey’s Kisses: That was adorable, and frankly, brilliant (but someone else’s idea).

3) Mix CD: I think that entirely depends on the girl, and entirely on the time and thought the boy put into it.

4) Lingerie: Agreed with Amber whole-heartedly on this one.

5) Dinner: I think that is one of the most romantic things a guy can do. A well-thought-out meal, some nice wine, music, and some candles, and this girl is in heaven.

6) I also think there was talk of a limo in there. A limo? Really? Meh. Especially for this girl who gets crazy car sick. Riding around in a fancy car is boring and puke-inducing.

I like Amber, I think she’s funny – we just like different things in our relationships. Which is great, ’cause we’ll never fight over a dude.

Wanna go out, Leigha?

Har har.

I don’t think Amber would disagree with you leigha… but it’s pretty dull to write a blog entry that dispenses Valentine’s advice by saying, “every woman’s different, so you should ask.” Sometimes you have to cut a broad swath.

Well, its still the political season, I’m booked for Valentines day. That night I have quite a few poles to take…

I’ll console stupid high school students who will bitch and moan about not getting a valentine during one of my classes, and I will try to break up fights between “sweethearts” when a man buys the wrong thing (or forgets to buy something).
Valentine’s Day in high schools is my version of Hell. I keep waiting for Dante to show up and starting writing….

It’s clear the Honorable Senator has the floor.

Ironic: Are you saying that Valentine’s Day is the Tenth Circle?

I agree with Josie that for the single gal, Val Day can be the All Sucks Day, but my big gay boyfriend is buying me a wrist corsage and takin’ me outs on the town. Plus, this year my guy friends have been sending me personalize m & m’s – ahhhh!

A wrist corsage?

Now that is old school romance.

I know – it’s very cheezy and funny. All we need is bad prom wear and 80’s slow dance ballads.

but it’s pretty dull to write a blog entry that dispenses Valentine’s advice by saying, “every woman’s different, so you should ask.” Sometimes you have to cut a broad swath.

I agree, Jason, but the point I was subtly trying to make is this: a lot of guys might be going to Amber’s site for advice – Amber’s advice obviously works for Amber, but it doesn’t work for me; hence there are all-different kinds of girls, hence there is no clear-cut answer, hence talk to your ladies to find out what they dig and then deliver.

Just trying to provide the public service of an alternate point-of-view, is all.

So no puppies for everyone?

I’m taking my wife and kids to the Red Stag for dinner, then heading to Max and Courtney’s because “single” means “alone,” right?

You wear us out, Andrew. That’s, like, the fifth time this week. And it’s Tuesday.

Just helping a friend out, I guess.

Rat: I take that as a compliment.

Maz: It takes one to know one.

Jason: THANK YOU. I have to say I was absolutely flabbergasted by the venomous reaction to the post, since I only intended it in the same light you described.

Leigha, I adore you, and as always, respect your opinion. I do appreciate your alternate-point-of-view. Yes, you couldn’t be more right…every girl is different, so if a guy wants to make sure his Valentines Day is keen, he should ask her what kind of day she would like. I did actually state this in my post.

Please allow me to also be clear on two points:

1. I mentioned “limo” in the context of the “traditional” game that you can do on Valentines Day. Previous to that, as Jason pointed out, I had stated that I didn’t care for the traditional stuff on Valentines Day.

2. I specifically asked the ladies to also contribute their tips.

3. We basically said the same thing about the mix CD. It can be a great gift, provided that the right kind of thought goes into it. This is true for all the tips I mentioned in that category…all of them can be great, but I wanted to alert the giver to a few danger zones that could potentially turn that gift into a disaster.

This post was not in any way meant to be the Be-All & End-All of Valentines Day suggestions. I merely tried to offer some off-beat tips that some might not have thought of and to also point out some of the pit-falls of the standard stuff. No absolutism intended.

And femine-deaf men everywhere appreciate it, Miss Amber.

I can’t really answer that because I’ve given up the word “slutty” for Lent.

Damn it. I said it again.

It seems so simple, yet it is so difficult, eh?

Amber: “Yes, you couldn’t be more right…every girl is different, so if a guy wants to make sure his Valentines Day is keen, he should ask her what kind of day she would like. I did actually state this in my post.”

But you also stated that many women might not give you legit information because they don’t want to look like they’re high maintenance. Not that you promised navigating across the feminine psyche would be easy, or anything.

Other than that your post seemed like common sense to me.

Valentine’s Day is a touchy subject. Amber’s post is definitely non-offensive but I think some people get so rankled by its very commercialized and high-expectationed existence that they forgot their dadgum manners. She makes lovely and reasonable suggestions. Like not buying girls lingerie. That’s so transparently not a present for her, it’s a present for you.

Taking your lady shopping for lingerie is much more fun anyway.

It seems like every discussion of relationships boils down to one thing: communication.

So, get communicating.

I’m guessing flowers are a pain to take home from the office. Any my wife takes the bus or rides a bicycle.

And isn’t it just to show off to co-workers? “Hey you losers, look at what my man is doing for me.”

We’re going to White Castle! They take reservations that night, and have servers and candlelight. AND you get to have sliders and onion chips. What could be more romantic? Last year, with tip, our total dinner was less than $14.

I’m the cheapest Valentines’ Day date in history.

valentine’s day is ridiculous. the Mr and i aren’t doing anything on the account that it’s a ridiculous holiday and he’s working all night long. ok, well, i will probably make him some heart shaped rice krispie treats because they are his favorite and i don’t make them that often. but that’s it.

i can’t wait til the 15th. that’s when all the valentine’s day chocolate goes on sale so retailers can make room for Easter crap. Score!

oh, and of course, we’ll be watching/recording LOST! i almost forgot!

I’ll be happy if one of them just says hello.

The only thing worthwhile about Valentine’s Day is the sale at The Electric Fetus.

I have no money to treat my lady right ):

I am a loser. I’m still going to try to scrounge up some romantic things in the spirit of “it’s the thought that counts!”

but I’m not even sure I’ve enough money to pursue my arts&craft gift. Or enough time.

In this post-feminist era, I am shocked, SHOCKED by the pining and ennui women suffer on Valentine’s Day.

Go out and get that man:

Just walk up and tell him you are celebrating “Steak and BJ Day”!

(That’s Bud Jr day you ninnies!)

pavleck, any chance your wife can get a discount for tunnel of love?
i’m a cheapskate.

related: are there any decent art/modeling supply stores near wayne’s world? (near NE or SE)

related: are there any decent art/modeling supply stores near wayne’s world? (near NE or SE)

The only one I know of is down on Lyndale and 28th.

Yes wayne, the framing shop across the street from you sells art supplies, although they have a limited inventory.

Penco Artists Supply Warehouse – 718 Washington Ave

Yes, Penco is great. There’s also that art supply store across from the Basilica…Utrecht, I think it’s called.

thanks everyone!
I knew about that framing shop, bob, but I don’t think they’ll carry what I’m looking for.

I knew about the one on 28th and lyndale (I’ve shopped there before), but it’s further than I’d like to go tonight since time is short.

I’ll look into that place on washington. If it doesn’t work I’ll probably end up running down lyndale.

or does anyone know if the art shop on hennepin by loring park carries much in the way of modeling supplies/ carving foam?

They seem to have a pretty wide selection of stuff…

Utrecht doesn’t always have a wide breadth of choices, but they usually have one or two items for each medium. I’m sure they’ll at least have Sculpey.
Also, they tend to be cheap or always have sales going on.

Wayno, you want Sculpey or something, probably — that’s the best way to create a good-looking, cheap-ish, fast and sturdy memento. It bakes in your oven, and it’s about two bucks for a package. My roommate in college once made a V-Day sculpture for one my professors out of the stuff, and they had sex on the couch…at like 9:30 PM!

I say this, too, as an impeccably-credentialed artist who spent six years working art retail and became a true specialist in recommending hysterical people solid, cheap, good-looking materials for creating expressions of desire. People like you, Wayno.

Sculpey kicks ass.