Secrets of the City

At least they didn’t buty the lede.

I think there’s a typo there.

I think it’s spelled BOOTY.

Would it be in bad taste if I mentioned cat bacon? Perhaps it would be. Never mind.

I notice they don’t allow comments. That’s disappointing, since I so look forward to the first ten commenters on any story either denying global warming or complaining about Al Franken.

They don’t allow comments on this story, but allow it on stories about domestic violence? Awesome priorities Strib.

How crowded was this trailer? Well you couldn’t swing a dead cat around without hitting a cat. (My brain is having all kinds of inappropriate thoughts. I apologize.)

this is sad. . . as someone who works with animal rescue groups, this is the kind of situation we volunteers absolutely dread.
if you’ve ever dealt with hoarders of any kind you know how difficult it is to change the behavior. I know a house where we could go and get more than 1m000 plastic ice cream buckets. . .

They mentioned that this isn’t the first time they’ve dealt with this woman.

Sample Strib comment, for those who are missing them, typos and all:

“Leave it up to the liberals to think cat whoreding is a bad thing. You libs think its bad but its not because these cats are out there anyway. You libs car so much about your cats and your dogs but you don’t care about the babys you kill.

You know who needs to be spaid? I’ll tell you. All those welfare moms having babys. That’s what we need to be caring about. Their the ones who are having too many babys.”

And the featured comment probably would have found a way to blame some/everything in the article on Muslims or Obama.

MollyP, that’s a little too dead-on for comfort. I bet you are one of their regular commenters.

Molly, that is classic.
It’s almost as if it were faked, it’s so perfect.

OK, here’s mine:

I bet the Pravda Tribune won’t even report on this story because it’s how typical ObamaLibs thinks they ought to be treated let the government take care of everyone like there all housecats I mean I wonder if he’s smoking right now in the oval office and tapping ashes on the preisdental seal.

Oh, I forgot to blame Obama! Now weaving that in there, too, would’ve made it perfect. And I also forgot “the myth that is global warming.” Next time…next time.

It was well done Molly. My only complaint is that “they’re” would always be misspelled as “there” rather than “their.” If you would have used “thier” that would have been bonus points however.

Ha! You’re totally right! Or as “Shelley” would say: Your totally right.

Don’t forget to pepper the post with rants against “nanny-state” legislation, ad hominem attacks against “libtards” and a few gratuitous, misspelled insults like “get a life, moran.”

But the postings on the Pioneer-Press site are even funnier. Different crowd over there.

Maybe for the Friday open thread we can pick a StarTribune article that is accepting comments and add our best stuff. Max could select something that would make it interesting. It could be like a contest. Or a group humor writing exercise. Or, it could be digital artwork.

@Miller, that is a hilarious idea. And @Ebn-Ozn, “moran” is one of my favorite misspelled insults! It so tops “you are dum!”

What are you, some kind of muslin?

My offering:

“What to you expect from the Socialist Nanny State of Minnesota? First they pushed that corn etonol in our cars, then they ban snoking ON PRIVATE PROBARTY!!!!

Now two patriotic citizens — not demcrat libtard illegal allens stealing votes for ACORN — cant keep a few pets in a 50 ft. PRIVATE mobile home. I;ll bet comrade AL Franken thinks this realy funny.

Slippery slobes. I warned you, but you didnt listen.”

You people are hilarious. It takes extra smarts to imitate dummies. Seriousl!

Ha! Didn’t mean to misspell that.

I admit, it was me. I’d have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you libtards and that d*mn dog.