Secrets of the City

Well, not with my tongue….

I had a drunk friend do that once on the way home from the bar in college. As he yelled for “hewp” we told him he had 2 choices. Ripped tongue or “the only available warm liquid”…he left the tip of his tongue on the pole. The flag pole, you sicko.

It was a sad day. My grandfather, who was very sick after two failed kidney transplants, had dropped my brother, my grandma, and my aunt off at Kmart. He was to return in a couple hours to pick us up.

My grandpa went home and fell asleep. The phone didn’t wake him as my grandma called and called. Standing outside of a closed Kmart, waiting for a taxi, my brother decided to lick the bicycle rack.

Yep, his tounge stuck. I don’t really remember how he got it off, I think he just got up enough saliva for it to sort of melt off. But I’ll never forget that night. Shortly after my dad forbade my grandfather from driving us anywhere and made my grandma get a driver’s liscense.

Wow. That’s some hard hitting reporting by Fox9.

Someone must have double-dog dared him.

It’s usually the triple-dog dare that sparks such a bold action, maz.

Yeah, a childhood “friend” talked me into trying it on the chrome headlight bezel of his mom’s Plymouth Valiant. Obviously, that movie hadn’t come out yet.

Only a weenie liberal needs three double-dog dares.

I did it once when I was a tot. Learnt my lesson good.

Were you guys dropped on your heads babies?

I fell off my bike and hit my head on a fire hydrant necessitating a bunch of stitches to sew my scalp back together does that count?

I am growing bored with MNSpeak. It could really use some fresh meat. Is it possible to have seen everything worth seeing on the internet? Because I think I’m getting fairly close.

I hope FOX9 follows up on this story. In the past, Trish Van Pilsum has shown us how to survive a car crash, and Jeff Passolt demonstrated how to survive a plunge into icy water. Who will teach us how to unstick our frozen tongues??

Have you been to the Park Center website? That’s the exciting place the internet brought me to today.

I seem to remember some cable TV show over Christmas doing something with a pig’s tongue and a metal pole.

No more late nite Cinemax for you!

No Cinemax. It was on Discovery, or TLC, or HGTV or something like that.

Mythbusters? Sounds like dem guys…

dems = mythmakers

Maybe one of those Foodie Fear Factor shows with Bourdain or Zimmern?

In other news, I couldn’t get my Mazda to start this morning. I called FOX 9 in a panic, but it started by the time the excited news crew arrived, as evident from this image they shot of the would-be harrowing tale.

You should have called KARE-11. Because they care about you.

In other news, my cat couldn’t go out in the rear entry of the house and look out the window because It Was Too Cold.

Maz: “dems = mythmakers”

Well many democrats are nothing short of legendary that is true but as Steven Colbert observed, “reality has a known liberal bias”.

heh

Mythbusters?

Oh look, frost!