Secrets of the City

“That resolutions should the Twin Cities make for the coming year?”

To fire the consultant who told them they should refer to themselves as “Minneapolis-St. Paul.”

My resolution is to not buy any books until/unless I read all the books I’ve already bought and not read yet.

As for Twincitians, I just want them to stop littering, especially in my lawn; to hang up their cell phone until they’re off the road; and to use indoor voices at their many stores and restaurants.

So how about some MnSpeak resolutions?

Metro Resolutions:

1. Re-think playing opera music outside Block E as a crowd control measure. It’s insulting to opera music and the crowd. We can be smarter than that.

2. Shovel our sidewalks.

3. Offer free parking at the library.

4. Resolve to sell liquor on Sundays.

5. Walk and bike more. Drive less.

Personal:
1. Walk and bike more. Drive less.
2. Be nicer to grote.
3. Make tons and tons of money in any way possible. Spend it all on myself.
4. Drink less. Which is different from “drinkless.”

Be safe out there, y’all.

Nate

Nate, I totally back #4.

(On the first list, I mean. To hell with #4 on the second list!)

Right on for the Sunday liquor. No question about that.

Other Metro Resolutions:

1. Compromise: It’s not a dirty word. Can we get something figured out for roads/bridges?
2. Let me in! Learn to merge, people.
3. Grow downtown retail: Gaviidae Has some cool new stores. Keep that going.

My resolutions:
1. Get my 2.5-year-old Potty Trained
2. Work out more
3. Lose less hair

Them:
1. Fund more usable public tranportation.
2. People turning right onto N. 100 off of Excelsior Blvd. read the road signs and stop cutting across two lanes to get to the on ramp.

Me:
1. Use more public transportation.
2. Lose 25 pounds.
3. Be neater.

and to use indoor voices at their many stores and restaurants. We wish for different things.

Them:
1. Stop doing all of the things that annoy me while behind the wheel of your car. In fact, just stop driving so I can have the road to myself.
2. Stop bringing your babies to work.
3. Be more attractive.

Me:
1. Eat healthier.
2. Walk more.
3. Stay childless.
4. Be more attractive.

For growing downtown retail … better watch out for Lyn Druskin – I heard from a little bird – former employee their sales are tanking at the dt location. Go whilst u can!

1. Eat healthier.
2. Walk, run, and lift weights more.
3. Stay childless.
4. Remain unapproachably attractive.

1) more books, fewer blogs
2) more wine, less beer
3) more exercise, less loafing
4) more water, less coffee
5) more lean protein, fewer empty carbs

yep…I’m getting old.

1) Eat more of this, less of that
2) Visit more places, but steer clear of others
3) Don’t do that anymore
4) Have a doctor look at that other thing
5) Try the other thing at least one more time, and, if I still don’t like it, don’t do it again
6) Never hit that guy like that again
7) Get more clothes of that one color, and get rid of others that have a less flattering color

I like to keep my resolutions as general as possible.

Fix the MNSpeak timestamp.

Fix the MNSpeak timestamp.

Says Jason from the future! THE FUTURE PEOPLE!

You know those states that refuse to accept Daylight Saving Time? We refuse to accept that there is any time other than Daylight Saving Time.

Will it be 2 hours off when we spring forward?

Daylight Savings Time is dumb. I think if some people want to set their clocks ahead and pretend they slept in, let ‘em, but don’t make everyone else do it.

I love daylight savings time.

Who needs it to be light at 4 in the morning during the summer?

Nothing better than having a nice Boodles and Diet Tonic as the sun sets on a warm late spring night at 9:45 pm.

City of Minneapolis: properly plow my neighborhood, for crying out loud.

My resolution is pretty much a variation on the same theme every year: Don’t be a dumb bitch, be a smart bitch (about love life, finances, career, etc).

Also, continue going to gym regularly on quest to obtain rockin’ body.

1. Drink less beer, more wine
2. Continue with yoga
3. Read more fun books.
4. Be less cynical about being single.
5. Cut out refined sugar and flour.

Daylight savings is infuriating. Change your work schedule, change it for everybody at your company if you think it will save on the electricity bill, but why would you ever want to pretend that time itself had changed?

At least its a little more uniform. Although I agree it makes no sense to change the time twice a year.

When this dumb idea first came out, there were big fights. Some states had several time zones. They couldn’t count on train arrivals and departures. Supposedly it was a mess.

1) start smoking
2) gain 50 pounds
3) try meth
4) join the Republican party
5) hit on Carol Molnau
6) become the editor of the Star Tribune
7) invest in ethanol
move to Rhode Island
9) bikini wax
10) my resolutions were better when rex was here

check, check, check, check, check…

I don’t smoke, but I probably should cut down to a couple butts a month, if you know what I mean…

Once we get moved in and get our fence built:

1). Rescue one more dog and maybe one more cat from the shelter.
2). Finally finish my book and start submitting it.
3). Get active in the local community.
4). Finally finish my degree.
5). Finally finish getting my private pilot’s license.

Anyone notice all of the “finallys” in there? Damn I gotta get my shit together.

6). Finally get my shit together.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL YOU MNSPEAKERS

Happy New Year, kids.

I resolve to play enough videos in the morning for my kids to make up for staying up until 3:00. 2008 is off to a great start.

Happy 2008, MnSpeak friends. And there will be photos from this past evening that will leak onto the Internet, I’m sure. It’s me in none of them.

Happy New Years, y’all. I’m just getting ready to make the black eyed peas. I’ve got the peas all sorted and ready to parboil, and now I’m going to trim the ham hocks.