Secrets of the City

I took him on some time ago, for singing the praises of Scott Goldberg’s hatchet job on ethanol fuel.

Then, as usual, I praised and pandered the teevee star. I find using both the carrot and the stick works best.

Or what about the fact that the Rake took my photo of AZ off of flickr (cc licensed for non-commerical use), photoshopped and cropped it, and posted it without credit? The original is here.

Actually, I didn’t pull it from Flickr, smcgee. I pulled it from another site that apparently is not crediting you either. My bad, though. I will gladly give you credit or pull the photo altogether. Please let me know what you prefer.

omg NO! They took a photo off your flickr page? there is no god.

Maybe The Rake is just admitting that they don’t make any money, and so they may as well be considered non-commercial.

Or, like most media orgs, they pay no attention to Creative Commons. They’ve essentially stolen your pic, and should compensate you for it.

Well, I think Cristina made it clear they weren’t stealing the image, Jason.

I have, however, made an error in judgment. Image is down, though. Smcgee, if you give me the go-ahead, I’ll repost with a credit to you. Otherwise, we’ll just leave it to the imagination.

Cristina, I’ve sent you an email. Thank you for fixing it!

Sorry max and cristina: my comment posted before I saw cristina’s explanation. Totally understandable on her part, and legit explanation.

So lets get back to that blog: holy crap! Hilarious read. I don’t agree with all he says, and I think he gives Andrew too much credit (I think of him as one voice among many), but it sure was entertaining. I’m digging The Rake’s guest blogs…

“You all but got down on your knees and sucked the gastronomic dick of Aquavit”

Oh my, so true, but oh my.

OK, Mitch. I’m game. Zimmern may suffer from an overinflated ego, but mine’s in check. Here’s a thumbnail review of Hell’s Kitchen, even though you don’t do dinner:

Inventive & pricey breakfast food–granted, the menu is essentially unchanged for the past 5 years (I can only do the Mahnomen Porridge & Bison Sausage Bread so many times, bro), but as we always have new conventioneers who quickly catch on to the idea that you are the Alpha and Omega of Convention Center area breakfast options and are usually on expense accounts, you fill it up on a regular basis. Good Coffee.

Lunch–Meh

Shitty slow service, all the time–a floor manager might help

Fun games for teh kids.

Carry on.

All also add “virtually non-existent vegan selection” to the above review.

also, The Rake panning all things MSP Mag, Strib and PiPress related is getting into serious dead horse territory. we get it…they are bloated, vacuuous and overly-self-important. move on.

Oh lord I love crap like this. This whole thing is silly since Mitch Omer is a humongous sycophant himself. Much the same way Zimmern makes note of his past troubles with having any self control when it comes to drugs and alcohol and how “wild” he was (implying how awesome he is for overcoming it), Omer has a 2 page story all about himself and his own lack of self control on the back of his menu. Granted it is a fun enough story to read while waiting for your sausage bread but seriously; if you read that masterbatory, faux modest, story and don’t roll your eyes, you’ve succomb to some weak charm.

In the end, I enjoy Mitch’s product much more than Andrew’s, but only slightly

“Much more but only slightly?” Rake…give me a job!

grote typed out “bro”.

he he

“You all but got down on your knees and sucked the gastronomic dick of Aquavit”

Definitely the quote of the year…

Yeah, I was slightly shocked when I read that. Omer seems equally full of himself and slightly off his rocker.

I do love his lemon ricotta pancakes though.

I don’t understand breakfast places with no unlimited coffee or that you end up spending $15 and you leave hungry.

Somebody needs to leg-cuff Ol’ Mitch to the radiator in the kitchen.

We could cuff him to the way alternative septum rings of the staff his so quick to point out the piercedness of! They’re totally alternative with piercings!

I get his point, but methinks 4eyes took a liquid lunch

he’s a poor messenger appropriate criticism.

I’m finishing off America’s leftover eggnog.

I can’t help but be vexed by what the missing modifier in this sentence could be?

“he’s a poor messenger appropriate criticism. “

Is it “of”? Perhaps “bringing”? It could be, “, with an angel’s face citing”. I’m dizzy with the possibilities.

“Gastronomic fatalism”?

AZ’s elitist?

Isn’t there artisanal buffalo sausage on the Hell’s Kitchen menu?

Doesn’t dude make his own ketchup?

Chillax, Mitch. You’re not Hunter S., yourself.

this message brought to you by MSP Publications.

Whatever, Bizarro steve. Look, AZ is my guy, just like Mitch is Ann Bauer’s best friend. Here’s the thing, the piece is called “Ode to a Sychophant” and it’s basically accusing Andrew of being too mean.

And halfway down, Mitch rants about AZ’s skepticism about a press release. Okay. Cool. Let’s not be so nasty to the press releases. Got it. Give the PR girls a little time for their message to sink in; they’re just making sure you know that you can get a steak at the tittie bar. They’re just trying to help.

I think the titties would distract me from the steak and vice versa. And I do mean vice.

Whatever your personal feelings, kurt, the release is just trying to raise awareness. Let’s try not to pre-judge.

I think most tv food celebs short of Bourdain must have very poor tv q’s for my demo (18-35 male). I don’t care for Andrew Zimmern….probably the cheesy fox 9 appearances, Rachel Ray is the pure spawn of satan, smiling with her fake little smile while she slowly feasts on your soul. The only on air person that I despise more than RR is Katie Couric.

I think the titties would distract me from the steak and vice versa.

Count me out…not kosher to have meat & milk @ the same meal.

RR and I have a complicated relationship. I hate her but feel compelled to watch her and scream at her through the TV. She just keeps smiling and gesturing in her exaggerated way, pretending she can’t hear me. She just keeps on making her iceberg salad with ketchup dressing, but I know she’s really crying on the inside…crying little boxed chicken stock tears.

ketchup dressing

Ugh, her ketchup dressings gross me out. Blech. Ketchup is a beautiful thing on its own; don’t ruin it.

I hate RR as a person, but some of her recipes are pretty tasty and live in my never-fail arsenal.

RR belongs in the beaver thread. That’s exactly what she reminds me of when she chews food. She only uses her front teeth and it weirds me out. I wish somebody would brain her with a bottle of EVOO.

Oh, God, the EVVO and the “yummo!” and “sammies” and “I always burn the bread!” even though I’ve never SEEN her burn the bread and you know what, she deserves to have her head put under the broiler.

After she writes down her recipe for her vodka cream sauce, because that shit is good, bless her annoying heart.

Josie, you are so right about that damn bread! I’ve never seen her burn it either, but everytime she even thinks about bread, she feels the need to warn us all that she will probably burn it! Oh, and did she mention that she can’t bake?

RR is the hottest.

nom nom nom

wow, just imagine the vitriol for RR if she was skinny, too.

I like a lot of things about Rachael Ray – the awesomeness of the kitchen set (I want that oven with that cute little broiler!), the ease of the recipes, the spirit behind the thirty minute meal – if only it didn’t have Rachael Ray.

I don’t get what people don’t like about her.

I’d prefer to watch Rachael Ray than read one paragraph from this Professional Eater, Andrew Zimmern.

best thing about Rachel Ray…there are 100’s of other channels.

But Rat, you’re totally in Rachel’s demographic.

I likes me some Rachel Ray, but then, I’m a lesbian.

So the Mnspeak community prefers R.Ray to AZ by 2-1. Proud moment. Proud moment.

at times like these I prefer C.J. to Steve Marsh.

I’m not convinced that Rachel Ray isn’t Zimmern in drag, so I’ll take neither.

He’s no Colonel Mustard.

Put it this way: I would not do Andrew Zimmern to do Rachel Ray.

it’s a banner day @ MNSpeak for irarelycommenthere…perhaps a name change is in order? registration, even?

Ya know, I used to like watching RR’s show, but got burned out on her perkiness and that goddamn EVOO thing. Paula Deen’s another one I CANNOT STAND. Also, I find it hilarious that AZ dispises Sandra Lee’s Semi-homeade show because she uses mixes and pre-made items. How very bourgeois.

Alie I feel the oposite. I wish Paula Deen was my mother. Sandra Lee is annoying, but I like how she always works a booze filled drink into her “tablescape”.

I would not do Andrew Zimmern to do Rachel Ray.

But who do you want me to do to make you sleep with me?

I just hate PD’s exaggerated southern drawl…I have relatives from the South and they don’t talk like that (annoying and nasally), but maybe she’s just from a different area.

Oh, and I stopped watching that Sandra Lee show because of the tablescape thing. Who has time for all that?

oposite = opposite

Don’t yell at me spellsgood. I’m all hyped up on Hershey Kisses. Sugar gots me typing all goofy like.

I don’t follow cooking shows. It’s better to improv in the kitchen anywho.

Also, I think everyone should work sometime in their life in food service. I personally was the outdoor gazebo “chef” at Winfield Potters in the ’80s. It gives you a life lesson in appreciating good service and good ingredients.

But Rat, you’re totally in Rachel’s demographic.

Whatthehell do you know about me?

I’ll take Julia Child’s reruns everytime over any of the aforementioned.

Whatthehell do you know about me?
I know you made a great new word with “Whatthehell” and from what I read here RR loves to make great new words.

so when is andrew zimmern opening his restaurant in the old grain elevator on St. Paul’s Upper landing, anyway?
and if he doesn’t do that, can we seal that freaking Rachael Ray inside of the old grain elevator and wait for the next flood? She’s annoying to the point of needing a good kick in the butt

Whatthehell do you know about me?

I’ll take “you’ve become a crabby old lady” for $400, Alex.

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

I read andrew’s blog weekly. I think its generally insightful and a valuable local forum on food.

Mitch’s blod was certainly quotable, but I had trouble following the logic behind many of his conclusions.

Also, how many times are you gonna quote Rattatouile? Once was cute. Twice?

I have my own filter for every food critic in town (also for the national film critics). I read their stuff and when they start to get going on their pet themes (local produce, etc.) I tune them out. Not b/c they are wrong, just b/c I’ve read it before. Critic A appreciates seasonal menus of locally raised ingredients. Got it.

Overall, I don’t see where all mitch’s venom is coming from. AZ is just not that mean.

RR and I have a complicated relationship. I hate her but feel compelled to watch her and scream at her through the TV. She just keeps smiling and gesturing in her exaggerated way, pretending she can’t hear me. She just keeps on making her iceberg salad with ketchup dressing, but I know she’s really crying on the inside…crying little boxed chicken stock tears.

I feel EXACTLY the same way, Tara. I love her, I hate her, I love her, I hate her, I want to be there when she finally snaps. I’m compelled to watch her because I can hear her silently screaming. It’s great entertainment because her act is so forced and contrived at this point.

I can’t really diss her too much because I can’t diss anyone who actually does ANYTHING to get people back in their kitchens cooking food. So what if the food she cooks is sometimes a little garbagey and not very swish – it’s still food cooked at home and not procured at a drive-thru.

I think she’s miserable half the time, and probably a great chick to drink with. I would not be surprised if she reveals these two things in some tell-all autobio after her divorce and trip thru rehab.

Bx, I have missed you! MNspeak gets awfully quiet these days.

That’s so true about a RR tell-all biography! I would read that in a single sitting.

…but I know she’s really crying on the inside…crying little boxed chicken stock tears.

But she’s doing that crying all the way to the bank.

Holy shit, I just read the whole Mitch bitch.

SNAP!

I personally can’t stand Zimmern. Actual food knowledge that he may or may not have as a basis for solid critic status aside, the guy just comes off as an irritating, fake-ass, bloated, middle-brow, milquetoast asshole who seems resentful that his money is tied up in the Midwest food scene. Cafe Un Deux Trois closed so long ago that his involvement with it became moot the minute he pulled his ‘roly-poly chef’ act out of his ass, shucking and jiving with his fellow honky Keith Marler on Fox 9. So I don’t know why Mitch even gives him the satisfaction of mentioning it.

All niceties aside, I do think Zimmern keeps chefs and kitchen monkeys here talking – as in, gives them something to bitch about besides amateur diners while they’re prepping for the evening rush. Other than that, the man wasting his true calling as a cage dancer at a gay bear’s club.