Secrets of the City

Wedding Day Jewlers, hands down, because of the commercials…Shane Co. is a close second.

I find Tom Shane’s voice oddly soothing.

But I can’t stand Yumi and Dean from Wedding Day Jewelers.

The Hopkins SuperTarget grocery layout bugs me. All the cold stuff is way in the back, miles from the registers – it really should be closer to the end of the shopping trip, especially since I always forget I needed something over in kitchenware, and end up running around the store with rapidly melting ice cream in my cart.

Plus I couldn’t find any placemats there yesterday. Where the hell are the kitchen linens in that place?

That Catherine Nogei chick is annoying too…can’t remember the name of the jewlery store, though.

Walker Art Center. Reasons well known.

Can’t think of anything other local business that annoys me.

They’re down by the bedding and picture frames, Josie…

I’m annoyed by all of the clubs and bars along First Avenue that send out scantily clad snaggletoothed tartlets flyer the street over the weekend, leaving tons of litter up and down the street Monday morning.

Microcenter. The way that place is managed is a freakin joke.
YEah, you heard me RON

I probably would have found them if I hadn’t gotten so irritated with the slow-cart-pushing suburbanites and the melting ice cream in my cart.

can i be annoyed that dunkin donuts isn’t a local business? i bought their coffee at target this weekend (per a mnspeaker’s recommendation..thx!) but it’s just not the same.

I get distracted by the clearence stuff on the end caps and always forget to buy what I was originally there for…yeah, I end up going to SuperTarget about 3 times a week…

“Dave … the mortgage doctor” offers to lance that painful boil filling with credit-card debt and anxiety. Sweet, sweet image.

That Dave the Mortgage Doctor is a shady guy.

Don’t like him. He’s as smooth as Norm Coleman.

Three that come to mind after debating brunch this weekend:

1. Hell’s Kitchen: Strollers + conventioneers + long lines = Hell, even if they have tasty peanut butter.

2. French Meadow: Counter service + stollers + yuppies = Someone should burn this place down. Every time I walk out of the CC, I want to spit on the mofos who eat here.

3. Highland Grill / Longfellow Grill / Edina Grill: They’re a chain. Can we not eat at chains? Thnx.

I’ll come up with more.

Every time I walk out of the CC, I want to spit on the mofos who eat here.

A few denizens of the CC Club probably do just that.

I’m annoyed by all of the clubs and bars along First Avenue that send out scantily clad snaggletoothed tartlets flyer the street over the weekend, leaving tons of litter up and down the street Monday morning.

Ditto, and I’d also like to add the clubs and businesses that send people through the city parking ramps to stick fliers on cars. I actually contacted one business (a shoe store, I think) to tell them that I would specifically avoid their business due to that method of advertising.

I love the sweet corn cakes at French Meadow and they have some tasty vegan desserts, so they’re OK in my book.

What would be an example of a “tasty vegan dessert?”

i could never ban longfellow grill – those sweet potato fries are too damn good.

i have, however, banned uncle franky’s in NE. they never have red sauce for my italian sausage. what the hell? and i’m tired of that mexican guy screeching out the orders all the time.

A very inspired, hilarious rant….

I think the Shane Company rant should prompt a larger, more animated discussion about local radio and TV owner/pitchmen in general.

Ron Tryzynski (sp?) of the Original Mattress Factory really bugs the crap out of me, but Tom Shane and Dick Enrico (2nd Wind Exercise Equipment) are a close second.
And hey, Dick Enrico, dude, might want to use your own product sometime….sheesh, you seen that guy?

By the way, the I-94/Dale thing is Lucky Rosenbloom’s doing….Google his name for more info. I agree, it’s funny.

They have 2 kinds vegan cupcakes that are really good, and I’ve had a German chocolate vegan cake there that was wonderful. They’re not all good though. I had a tart that was nearly inedible. It tasted like chocolate chalk.

Oh, and an even better example of a tasty vegan dessert is the vegan cheesecake at Muddy Paws. It’s wonderful. (It’s made with Tofutti cream cheese if you were wondering.)

SuperTarget, eww, eww, eww disgusting giant big box store. Ewww. What tools shop there anyway?

I prefer proper groceries such as Kowalski’s, Lunds, Wedge, etc.

Been to Uncle Franky’s only once, and it’s just down the street. Better to get the places’ hot dogs at the Home Depot.

I refuse to eat at French Meadow after I had a breakfast burrito and a smoothie…for the bargain price of $17!

And I hate the Wedge for other reasons.

Don’t care much for The Wedge, either. Finally got tired of the attitude.

I love the Wedge. Their deli food is delicious. I’m about to head there now to pick up some lunch.

I like the coffee at FM…yeah, that’s about it…oh and the muffins are good.

Used to go to the Meadow when we lived for six months on 26th and Garfield (shudders to think of it). The muffins were heavy as hockey pucks.

Yesterday I waited for fifteen minutes at the wedge for a latte. And then I was sneered at and told I needed to move out of the way of the register.

On the other hand, their crescents contain crack, and I can’t get enough.

I just read the entire original list. The guy hates the Xcel Energy Center because Rush played there? He shops at Sam Goody? Idiot.

I forgot to mention how much the Fine Line annoys me. Never really had feelings for it either way until I was refused entry to the ladies room during the encore at the Zero 7 show…oh, and their beer cooler NEVER works.

I just had the Sirloin and Sweet Potato Hash at the Longfellow Grill the other day. I can’t remember the last time I had something that won over my tongue like that hash did. I could have eaten an entire child’s weight in hash, instead, I ate a child’s hand’s weight in hash. Not enough.

can i be annoyed that dunkin donuts isn’t a local business

Yeah, join the club. Someone, please, open a franchise. In my neighborhood. I’d keep you in business single-handedly.

French Meadow is INSANELY overpriced for food that really isn’t fantastic (I mean, it’s good, but not great). I’ve learned my lesson about that place.

Yesterday I waited for fifteen minutes at the wedge for a latte.

If The Rat had his way, EVERYONE would have to wait 15 minutes for a latte.

I’d second-handedly keep Dunkin Donuts open.

And, just so I fit into the thread, I’ll say that I hate the SLP Costco.

Tires Plus. The clean front-of-house ones are reading from cue cards and the dirty ones under the cars are simians at best. And none of them know cars or tires.

Denny Hecker’s auto-man empire; it’s like that ‘Boiler Room’ movie only with cars.

Minnesota Vikings. When does that Get Out of Town issue come out?

easiest way to clean up a bad corner in the city is to build a chipotle/dunkin donuts on a corner with some condos above. the cops would hang out there constantly and the yuppies in the condos would call them anytime they weren’t hanging out.

“I think the Shane Company rant should prompt a larger, more animated discussion about local radio and TV owner/pitchmen in general.“

Aw. c’mon, he’s way better than that Marilyn Nogai (sp?) who shills for another local jewelry store/chain/pit. The Shane Company ads remind me of what Tom Poston would have been like on ‘ludes. Ms. Marilyn just sounds . . . . stilted and weird.

I get kinda creeped out that Tom Shane is always talking about going to Bangkok or Amsterdam to check out rubies and diamonds

er, yeah, and what ELSE did you check out in Bangkok and Amsterdam, Mr. Shane?

“Tires Plus. The clean front-of-house ones are reading from cue cards and the dirty ones under the cars are simians at best. And none of them know cars or tires.“

Beg to differ. I’ve been going there for a bit, (two different stores, actually, so it’s not an outlier sort of thing), and I’ve had some very educational conversations about rubber compound choices, belt geometry, custom alignment items, and troubleshooting of a nasty wheelhop, and I’ve bought some tires at decent prices that have made me happy.

Yeah, isn’t it odd that both Amsterdam and Bangkok are centers of both the international gem trade and sex tourism?

Bobby: Thanks for reminding me about guys on the radio who sound like they’re on quaaludes.

How could I have forgotten Paul Rubin at the White Bear Lake Superstore?

That guy makes me want to scream.

er, yeah, and what ELSE did you check out in Bangkok and Amsterdam, Mr. Shane?

A thriving art scene and a growing family-friendly travel industry. Rest assured of it.

Why are olives that big of a deal anyway? And why would he expect a grocery store to have any sort of decent selection? If you want good olives, go to the Midtown Market. If you want cheap stuff made in China, go to SuperTarget.

Oh, and the Wedge still sucks.

I’m annoyed by Cossetta’s on seventh in Saint Paul. I always think it’s going to be good and it’s never as tasty as I was hoping. Also, the lines are too long.

They have the city’s best canoli, however.

“They have the city’s best canoli, however.”

True.

If you want good olives, go to the Midtown Market. If you want cheap stuff made in China, go to SuperTarget.

Chinese olives are the worst. So much lead paint.

Okay, not exactly “local” but one of the many reasons I can’t stomach Chili’s is because of that horrible “I want my babyback babyback ribs” jingle.

Bad things need to happen to the person who wrote that.

Well, if you’re sinking those green olives into a mug of cold Miller Lite, you don’t really need to go after quality.

Why are olives that big of a deal anyway? And why would he expect a grocery store to have any sort of decent selection?

someone’s been shopping at lunds, I guess.

Best Local Pitchmen: Those dudes from the old Plywood Minnesota ads (”You betcha, Ken!”)

Adding to my list, from above. Now turning to bars:

4. The Fine Line: Why do they need to hire all these juiceheads for security when most of the bands they book are straight outta Cities 97?

5. The 400 Bar: Fuck these guys. Why couldn’t the entire building have collapsed, so I don’t have to go back there to support cool bands who happened to book the wrong venue?

6. Anyplace within staggering distance of Dinkytown.

7. Anyplace in Downtown Minneapolis (except First Ave and Grumpy’s)

8. Anyplace on Lagoon.

9. The Independent: The filthiest mall restaurant I’ve ever had the misfortune to visit. How about wiping off those tables in the bar sometime?

10. The Groveland Tap: Everything I hate about families, Frat Boys, and St. Paul — in one convenient location!!!

(To defend myself against possible accusations of being a negative nancy, I will note that I just had an excellent cup of soup from the Turtle Bread in Downtown Minneapolis. Mmmmmmm, was that good Tomato & Squash Soup.)

“er, yeah, and what ELSE did you check out in Bangkok and Amsterdam, Mr. Shane?”

lol. our weddings are subsidizing shane’s sexcapades.

i get annoyed with caribou’s awful aspirin-flavored coffee and rainbow foods’ annoying “hi, it’s your grocery bag!” radio commercials

Dave Lee (WCCO radio) has to be the worst and most annoying radio ‘personality’ in town. He needs to stick to announcing celebrity birthdays and leave the rest to capable professionals….

I was at Whole Foods yesterday (usually can’t afford it, but go there now and then for specialty items). I hate to buy essentials like coffee there, but wasn’t up for multiple grocery store runs, so, as I was browsing the coffee selection, some typcially self-righteous Whole Foods busybody customer suggested I buy whole bean coffee. I replied that I didn’t own a grinder, and she responded with a condescendingly disappointed “ohhhh.”

That’s why I hate Whole Foods. No Cub or SuperTarget fellow customer will ever be so presumptuous as to know what’s good for you and inform you to your face what you SHOULD buy.

And anybody who can afford paying $6+ for a sixpack of sodapop (like they had at Whole Foods) needs to find a good charity to donate to.

That’s what kills me at Whole Foods – people who shop there can afford $5 for a dozen special organic eggs but want to tell me how to live my life, when I make like 1/10 of what they make. Screw them!

oh, you mean “whole pocket?”

The Groveland Tap is a nice place for a beer and a sandwich you can take your wife and kids. It’s in a residential neighborhood dense with families and colleges. What did you expect the second coming of CBGB? They know their audience.

An added bonus is that they have the full summit lineup on tap. No one else has that.

No way. i love the Groveland Tap, especially Taco night on Thursdays. Cheap beer. Snarky waitresses. Greasy food. What good be better?

she-she: Someplace that doesn’t allow screaming kids and St. Thomas students?

Seriously, one of the things I always liked about Lyle’s (a bar with cheap beer, snarky waitresses, and greasy food) was the sight of a family with small children being turned away by security. Lyle’s is a problematic bar, but it won a place in my heart that day….

Mike: You hate kids, I get it. Do not ever reproduce. Thanks.

I never go there before 10pm, so I haven’t seen the kids there. i agree that would be annoying.

“ . . . . the sight of a family with small children being turned away by security. Lyle’s is a problematic bar, but it won a place in my heart that day….“

There was room?

unknown if it’s just local

the NAU’s advertisement on TV and their
alma mater jingle.

“ERRRRGH, ARRRGH”

she-she: Are you saying that kids should not eat there? They have a kids menu, they obviously want families.

also get annoyed with the Fine Line. weakest and way overpriced drinks, and zero character.

Not sure how many of you are familiar with Brainerd businesses, but if I’m rather pleased to not have to hear DJ Dondelinger’s voice these days.

No, I’m just saying it works out perfect: the screaming kids can throw their food at the screaming kids time, and I can go there and get sloshed at the getting sloshed time.

“Getting Sloshed Time” is my new name for happy hour.

soon it will be too cold for happy hours. it’s just not the same if you’re not sitting on a patio chainsmoking while drinking $2 stellas.

it’s just not the same if you’re not sitting on a patio chainsmoking while drinking $2 stellas.

Since I never do that, it will be the same.

I never do that either. Stella Artois beer is considered bellywash in Europe.

And patios are overrated.

Re: jewelry store radio ads

There’s an ad for a place called Jared Galleria. It has the unfortunate effect of making me think about Subway every time I hear it. Drives me nuts.

I’ve never been to French Meadow, but all I’ve ever heard about it is the one vegan who loves it and that the food is merely okay while relative expensive (both corroborated here). So I don’t ever intend to go.

Did go to Hell’s Kitchen on Saturday and encounter those same conventioneers. I thought the 30-minute wait was worth it. We went to Dunn Bros for coffee in the mean time.

I can’t for the life of me think of the company name right now, but there’s some whirlpool/sauna/spa company that has a really obnoxious pair in their commercials. Blech.

Much like cigarettes and White Castles, Stella is a good option when I’m already drunk.

is sheletta’s website considered a business? if so, count that as a local business that annoys the crap out of me.

Erica, I know what commercials you’re talking about. The girl is always just a little overdresses for advertising spas and waaay too chipper for curmudgeonly ways.

Watson’s!

Erica, is it Watson’s spas? They’re the commercials that have the young, blonde busty girl with the old mustachioed dude. I always wonder if they are a couple or a father/daughter pair. I couldn’t quickly find anything about them on the web, but I always think of them as swingers. He’s got that 70’s swinger look about him.

(overdressed)

Read an article about that one time. Everyone assumes that Watson’s is local. This happens all over the country. Probably because their ads are so amateurish. The Watson’s girl has been named “best looking local celebrity” in about 12 different cities.

The Watson’s girl

“Erica, I know what commercials you’re talking about. The girl is always just a little overdresses for advertising spas and waaay too chipper for curmudgeonly ways.“

It’s dad and daughter. You think she’d be hired for swimsuit slots if she wasn’t related?

Any sit-down restaurant that doesn’t have those flashing-LED coaster pagers for when your table is ready.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve given my name to the host/ess, and warned them that they’ll have to come and get me (and point out where I’ll be) when the table is ready, as I won’t hear them call my name. Then, after seeing people that came in long after I did getting seated. going up to find out why, being told, “Oh, we called for you, but crossed your off when you didn’t respond.”

buncha haters

the irish interns made jokes about stella too, but they still drank it with me.

I’d rather avoid any sit-down restaurant in the middle of a strip-mall parking lot.

the irish interns made jokes about stella too, but they still drank it with me.

I could choke it down if you were buying, Wayne

It is never too cold for happy hour. Happy hours are year-round.

The Tea Garden. I hate them for selling Star Fruit shakes. God, those are sick.

Well, wayno, you go where you can get service.

Oh, another one: Crystal Pierz Marines. I HATE that jingle.

josie, stumbling home after happy hour when there’s a chill in the air and ice on the sidewalk is not nearly as satisfying as biking home while the sun’s still up.

also, re: restaurants, I don’t remember the last time I had to wait for a table. but then I don’t go out to eat much, and when I do it’s often at odd hours.

That Catherine Nogei chick is annoying too…can’t remember the name of the jewlery store, though.

“Arthur’s Jewelers, the king of diamooooooooonnnnds”

Not to be confused with King Of Diamonds in Inver Grove Heights…

Not sure it matters much in this thread anymore, but I was pretty surprised when Tom Shane spoke to me from the car radio in Portland, OR, as I assumed he was local. The Shane Company is based in Denver.

I knew the Watson’s girl would come up in this thread!!!!

Does anyone remember when she wore a pentagram on the commercial?

Is she a Satan-worshiping polygamist or what?

mnblrmkr- Broders Pasta Bar is your friend. Super good food and those electric things to tell you when they are ready to seat you.

The last time Daddy was at Broders Pasta Bar, Daddy waited 2 hours and 45 minutes for a table.

Good food though.

Comcast – not the people at the counter in Jerry Trooien’s preview building of what Bridges could become – the people who take my calls; I mean, the annoying recordings instead of the people I need to talk to, and then the annoying under-trained people I finally get to talk to who can never transfer me to a supervisor but do offer to have someone write me a letter….

Loathe Comcast – Loathe them.

Yes! Watson’s!

Yeah, I assumed they were local on account of the low budget-ness of the commercial. I will, however, be much more entertained by the thought of the dad/daughter pair as swingers.

*squick*

And now I have the “That’s Jared” theme in my head. Thanks.

(thank god they didnt mention us)

Yess … I’m glad someone said it.
I’m thinking .. isn’t anyone going to point out that Shane Co isn’t local.
I too remember .. across from the Washington Square Mall off Sholls Ferry Road in Tigard .. aahhh.
When I heard him I thought of home.
But then again the sound of Art Bell’s voice makes me thing of home and he’s west of the Rockies [or at least he used to be]

Marilyn Nogai is creepy. I used to date a guy whose family was good friends with her and they were creepy. Why are insanely rich people always so f***ing weird???

Here’s the watson’s poop: from strib:
The Watson Pool Girl The Watson Pool Girl. Real name: Jennifer Eichler. You think she’s a local, don’t you? Well, so do people in
Nashville, Memphis and Indianapolis. Eichler, better known as the
Watson’s Girl, has been named Best Eligible Bachelorette in
Nashville, Best Female Local Sex Symbol in Indianapolis,
Memphian-you’d-most-like-to-go-out-with, and best pitch person in
Indianapolis. Indianapolis got it right. That’s where she lives,
and that’s where she does commercials for her stepfather’s company. Here’s a shocker: There are Web pages devoted to Jennifer. One is
sponsored by Watson’s, which sells above-ground pools, hot tubs and
numerous other home products, and includes everything from
Jennifer’s astrological sign (Sagittarius) to her favorite
pastimes: (shopping, sleeping and partying). Like, kewl! Another Web page (http://www.geocities.com/abovegroundpool/) is a
bit of a spoof, which includes a Jennifer timeline and a virtual
date, beginning with a game of pool, a little romp in the hot tub,
and some quality time in front of a fake fireplace. Who is Jennifer
Eichler? “In three words, Jennifer Eichler, better known as the
Watson’s Girl, is our White Trash fantasy,” the site says.
“Jennifer Eichler is to above-ground pools what Claudia Schiffer is
to lingerie.” Indeed. In a phone interview, Eichler was as nonstop Katie-Couric perky
as her television self. “I’m just an everyday girl,” said Eichler,
“I don’t run around like this celebrity girl, but at the same time
I love it. I guess I have a split personality.” Over the past seven years, she’s done about 12 commercials a
year, she reports. “You do the math. I can talk your head off, but
I can’t do math.” Tidbit: Eichler was Grand Marshal for the Elvis Parade, sponsored
by a radio station in Kansas City.

I think the Shane Company rant should prompt a larger, more animated discussion about local radio and TV owner/pitchmen in general.

ShaneCo isn’t a local chain. IIRC, they were founded in Cleveland, OH, and have a couple of dozen stores now across the country. They may still be HQed in the state even though they no longer have a store there. Their radio spots, at least, are still produced in Ohio.

I depise Costco and its leaky, airplane hanger stores that offend smell as bad. They actually make people pay to experience this joy. Scumco has even gotten sued for sexual discrimation and to pay up. Hopefully this trashy joint will go under soon.

Oh, another one: Crystal Pierz Marines. I HATE that jingle.

Sacre bleu!

How can you not like “THIS WAY TO THE LAKE!” ?

So shitty it’s not shitty.

YA!

And Tara, stop it with your sacchrine little blowjobs about loving what everyone else hates! This THREAD is dedicated to what businesses people HATE, so stay the fuck on topic or get out!

Anyone remember the super-scary CHEF CAFE commercials late at night?