Secrets of the City

Very sad thread…. everything ok MNspeak?

Now turkeys not only provide the fertilizer used to grow the side dishes they get served with but they also help power the ovens they get baked in.

O turkey, most haplessly selfless of the birds.

People were missing the lost poop thread. I just don’t even know what to say, Rod.

…and the help make the Shakers martini you enjoyed before dinner.

Once more, MNSpeakers go Back In Time for more info..

Uh oh. LOLcats containment field failure. LOLcats containment field failure.

*whoop whoop whoop*

Funny you should mention poop. As we speak, there is a plumber in my basement fixing a sewage problem.

What’s the going rate for rent reduction if you clean up poop and only 1/4 of it is your poop?

You cannot contain the LOLcats. They are the lifeblood of teh intarwebz.

Do I want to ask whose poop the other 3/4 is?

3 neighbors. Don’t know if I’m being generous or stingy in assigning equal proportions.

wait, and you live in the basement with the poop or what?

“People were missing the lost poop thread.“

“People” also watch American Idol fervently. At the end of the day, the only person who needs to be satisfied with your level of poop coverage is you.

OMG thinking about cleaning up my neighbors poop is making me a little sick.

I have basement access, and it’s right under my place, and I’m working from home this week. Consequently, if I want the poop dealt with ASAP, gotta do it myself. There more smell than substance down there.

Anybody want a pair of crutches with poop water on the bottom? Didn’t think so.

I made you a poops.

But the dog eated it. ):

I bet you could get something for them on ebay.

If you do it yourself by hand, you develop a lovely halo when you’re done. I think that was mandated in the Papal Encyclical of 1485, Nimbi Excrementis.

Mind you, it sounds like you’re dealing with what the sewage trade euphemistically call “gray water”, which may only qualify you to express an Odor of Sanctity such as sandalwood at the time of your death.

Well, if it gets me closer to god, that’s reward enough. I guess.

Time to bake something that smells good, to cover the funk. Nothing high-fiber, though.

The waste water treatment folks may call it ‘gray water’ but I’m on yepnope’s side. It’s poop.

1000 gallons of fine wine + 1 drop of poop = 1000 gallons of poop.

Heck, gray water is still very gross because it’s basically just untreated toilet water. But I’m not the one who makes the rules regarding Signs of Sanctity. Take it up with Pope Sixtus IV.

Wasn’t this all addressed during Vatican 2?

No. That was POPE. Not POOP.

Sublte difference.

I thought gray water was the non-toilet component of our liquid drainage spectrum.

Ok, that wasn’t even funny.

Back to the poop, sorry guys.

So I wiki-ed gray water and it looks like you’re right Bobby. I apparently meant “black water”. My apologies to any Catholic theologians I may have inadvertently offended.

I was trying to make a jokme with Vatican 2. Sigh. I guess you can’t recapture the poop magic.

Well, I built me a raft and shes ready for floatin
Ol basement apartment, shes callin my name
Silverfish are jumpin
That busted pipe is thumpin
Black water keeps rollin on past just the same

Old black water, keep on rollin
Upstairs’ neighbor’s moon, wont you keep on shinin on me

T’weren’t thunder they heard, ’twas nothing but a big old bathtub afloat in the cellar. As Huck and Tom peered superstitiously down the steps, a big loaf of freshly baked bread was thrown from the side of the bathtub.

“I know now!” exclaimed Huck. “Someone’s drownded. They bake bread to cover the smell and then Yepnope puts quicksilver in them and throws ‘em over the side to make the dead man come up to the top.”

Something called “manure management technology” is mentioned in the article. I hope I hope I hope I see a class for this in my upcoming Community Classes mailer.

Me (while kneading bread): “I like the smell of food coming out of the oven better than out of the person.”

Roto-Rooter guy: (blank stare, then walks away)

“manure management technology”

Ooh fancy. I remember when it was called “Shit happens – deal with it.”

“MNspeak gets flushed down shitter”

Hows that for poop news?

I thought gray water was the non-toilet component of our liquid drainage spectrum.
I was reading a houseblog where the owners had set up greywater to route to their toilet tank. I thought it was a cool idea. However, to make it legit, they had to have the plumbing and the toilet fixture marked as “nonpotable water.”

Because I’m sure my guests look to the toilet tank as a drinking water source.

Ok, this is off topic, but what’s the deal with all the intentional misspellings on MNspeak today?

Who says they’re intentional? Or are you talking about the weird cat pictures?

If the latter, this might shed some light.

MNSpeak: all LOLcats, all the time.

Also, um, yay poop!

Caturdays?

It pleases me.

YAY IT’S ALMOST CATURDAY

Unfortunately I do not have access to any adorable pictures of my cat to lol for Caturday.

I must say, I LOLed at my LOLcat. Thanks, aaron!

Ok, this is off topic, but what’s the deal with all the intentional misspellings on MNspeak today?

Bee hangover?

Elizabeth, it probably has less to do with your guests drinking from the toilet tank than it has to do with future homeowners taping into the water supply pipe for a sink or outdoor spigot or something. I sure wouldn’t be happy going to a hose in the yard for a refreshing drink on a hot afternoon and getting a mouthful of dish-washer runoff!

“I must say, I LOLed at my LOLcat. Thanks, aaron!”

*sob*

So you snub my singing lungs? I (and they) will be heartbroken.

I just liked the idea of a set of lungs that sounded like Elmer Fudd singing Bette Midler songs.

I missed! Link please, unless you a pulling my chain again, you rogue!

At the end of the thread…

I think I managed to moidalize the lolcats thread with those last two. There’s no joke born that I won’t run into the ground. And not just once, but repeatedly and with malice aforethought.

Hell, I still find the “All Your Base” thing inordinately funny, even after all these years.

what kind of loser sat down and compiled that wikipedia entry on ‘lolcats’?
seriously, that person should be forced to get a life coach.

ALL YR BAYGHS ARE BELOONG TO US, DONTCHAKNO!

on poop—

What’s grosser than gross?

9 hours until Caturday!!!

ice poop?

O.M.G. I actually have to cat sit on Caturday. WTF?

“YAY IT’S ALMOST CATURDAY“

Ooo, we’re pretty hyped for it, too!

The average stray dresses out to about 1-1/2 lbs. which is about perfect for us, everyone likes the new beer batter, and, with this weather, we’re all in the mood for grilling, so this is like the purrfect weekend for it!

LOLcats make me POL (poop out loud).

ROFPMAO

Poop is a dirty job.

Phrase of the day: pig apples

All your poops are belong to us!!!

We don’t eat kitties in Minnesota.

so this is like the purrfect weekend for it!

http://tinyurl.com/yv6fpk

Judging by the anecdotal reports of a large number of unsatisfied women in the metro area, Christine may be right.

Judging by the anecdotal reports of a large number of unsatisfied women in the metro area, Christine may be right.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Funny ’cause it’s true? Hmmm…

According to Alexis, Minneapolis is the world’s epicenter of lonely women and their unlicked cats.

Actually, I’m not sure she used the word “unlicked,” but there was something about cats in there.

Actually, it was an also ran dating site that published that study. But she does mention crocheting cat wardrobes. Which I’m sure is some sort of euphemism.

The beareded guy in the insipid “Party With Picasso” Walker ad on this site? He needs to be pooped on.

These cat things are absolutely making my day.

Hey, here’s a local gray water story!

“But she does mention crocheting cat wardrobes. Which I’m sure is some sort of euphemism.“

I fear, mostly for her sake, that it’s no euphemism, which all by itself would seem to lend credence to the “lonely women” issue.

couldn’t work up a poop, but bravo for aeklund’s basement potty…luv the international curtain so much I peed thrice…also loved meeting you formerly anon 2me mnspeakers…s4xton, aeklund, nateek, taulpaul, dzoverheard…plus aeklund’s pet hippie. I think i’m coming back around to jambands…nah.

NBC Nightly News jumps on the poop honeywagon, albiet a little late.

Once again, MNSpeak “scoops” them all…

All the poop that fit to print! The NY Times discovers Benson, Minnesota’s dirty little secret.