Secrets of the City

The kinkajou was going to hang out in Coon Rapids, but as a tropical relative of the raccoon, it found the name of the city offensive.

Exotic annimals on the loose in Blaine! Quick, someone call Sen. Don Betzold!

That fish thing is why I don’t swim in lakes…well, that and e. coli outbreaks…

I don’t swim in lakes because of the creepy corpse hands that brush my feet.

Mother says they’re not creepy corpse hands, but reeds that grow at the bottom of the lake. But I know better.

Nothing about how Pohlad is now trying to buy up land around the ballpark site so he can turn a giant profit on it?

It’s nice he can afford to buy office buildings across the street, but somehow can’t afford to pay for the stadium himself. Getting fat off the tax boat! Way to go, asshole!

Also, everytime I hear Pawlenty mentioned it’s always in the context of having vetoed something useful and/or having fucked the cities over yet again. What is this fucking idiot’s problem, seriously? Does he want to cripple the economic engine of the state just to prove he’s a good ol’ boy? I’m sorry, but if you fuck up the biggest cities by screwing them for funding over and over until no one wants to live there because they’re dangerous and overtaxed, what the shit do you expect is going to happen to your pool of talented labour that brings the cash in?

Max, you’ve seen too many zombie movies.

Check the sports thread, Wayne.

There is no such thing as too many zombie movies, bob. One must be adequately prepared for the inevitable zombie invasion.

Thx! I missed it. I usually ignore anything sports-related unless it’s about what a thieving cunt Pohlad is.

Oh, Wayne, if you don’t want Pohlad to buy up land around the stadium, why don’t you put in a bid?

Because I’m not a megamillionaire. The rich get richer.

But maybe someday I too can get the government to mostly fun a project for my private business, and then make other business investments with the money I’m saving by not having to pay for it myself to buy land nearby to take advantage of the benefits of that project. I pay way less and make way more! The only loser is the schmuck taxpayer.

I don’t know, maybe Max is right. Read between the headlines and you can see what’s really going on.

Industrial chemicals in the water table, driving fish mad enough to attack human beings. An exotic crittur is officially described as a kinkajou when clearly it is a Sumatran Rat-Monkey.

This city is clearly about to face the worst zombie epidemic since the last one.

At least the rich will be safe!

Maybe they’ll tax the rest of us to build their zombie shelters.

Maybe Governor Timmy should team up with 3M for his next campaign: 2 cars in every garage, 3 eyes on every fish.

I’m sure he’d love to sign something that makes it ok for them to pollute and pay no taxes too.

Any reason the links aren’t attributed anymore? I really liked that format.

No reason at all. I’ll return to attributing them with the next batch of links.

“It’s nice he can afford to buy office buildings across the street, but somehow can’t afford to pay for the stadium himself.“

Who told you he couldn’t afford to build the stadium himself? He certainly can.

He just didn’t want to.

Be accurate.

“I’m sorry, but if you fuck up the biggest cities by screwing them for funding over and over until no one wants to live there because they’re dangerous and overtaxed, what the shit do you expect is going to happen to your pool of talented labour that brings the cash in?“

And yet, Pawlenty continues, post-veto, to enjoy very high public support, far higher than that enjoyed by the bodies which read the message of the election as “raise our taxes by $5 billion, please, ‘cuz we really need more state employees.”

I’m thinking your “raise taxes so that we’re not overtaxed” campaign could use some more tinkering?

America…
when you’re poor you can’t afford lunch, but when you’re rich, everyone wants to buy you lunch…and dinner…and land…and a stadium.

I’m pretty sure TPaw’s support in the city proper isn’t doing so well, bobby. But sure, if he keeps fucking it over to keep the outstaters happy, he’ll be totally popular. How much of the urban vote did he get here? (No, not suburban, either)

Also, don’t you think Timmy’s plan to just put all the infrastructure improvements/maintinence we need on the state charge card is maybe not the best idea? Borrowing money is expensive, so sometimes raising taxes now to pay for something is actually the best option. Especially for something so critical as transportation infrastructure.

But that’s cool, my generation will pay for it. Just shrug it off on your kids. Maybe we’ll decide it’s not very important to take care of old people when we grow up and take the reigns.

What is this fucking idiot’s problem, seriously? Does he want to cripple the economic engine of the state just to prove he’s a good ol’ boy?

He’s running for McCain’s VP slot in 2008; he has national ambitions, that’s why.

Well, unlike the urban voters, at least the outstaters are from here. You immigrants should just go back where you all came from and we’d be much happier here. Seriously. If only those who were from here were allowed to vote, Pawlenty would win in a landslide. It’s all those outside agitators who are the problem.

Yeah, second-class citizens!

Maybe next we can tell the african-americans they can’t vote!

Hey, I know! Why don’t you go back to the rez and stop voting in our elections?

Idiot.

“Our” elections? Are you even old enough to vote yet? heh.

I suppose you can’t go back to Bakersfield, wayne. I heard it’s closed now. But I hear Muncie, Indiana might be a good fit for you.

“But that’s cool, my generation will pay for it.“

Well, not if you don’t get off your butt and get back to school.

I think lefties who advocate higher taxes have a moral obligation to make as much money as possible, even if they have to work several jobs, because if you’re going to advocate collectivism, they should be prepared to contribute more to the pot than most.

Problem is, that would mean actually getting, you know, a real job.

I always figured outside agitators were T-Paw’s and Rod Grams’ base. Native MNans have been voting for the happy warrior lib since Humphrey.

I’m always bothered by the $5 billion tax increase number that gets tossed around, especially when it’s in the same sentence as the $2 billion “surplus”. As I understand it, the $5b covers the out years (2008-11), whereas the $2b is only for a two year period. That seems deliberately disingenuous.

Of course, it also seems disingenuous to assume that your income will increase due to inflation, but that your expenses will not.

I’d be curious what our thoughtful conservatives (no snark) Bobby and Kevin think about this.

Oh noes the libralz r not makin enuff money!

Maz, you can be pretty interesting when you actually want to contribute to a conversation, but when you’re only here to spout off inane potshots at the opposing team, you’re just a bore. And a boor.

What outstater in their right mind would vote for Pawlenty? Having vetoed most things that would benefit northern MN, he now vetoes the Northstar funding so that the counties have to scrape together the money? I’m sure that helps….let’s see…just about nobody.

“Outstate” is vastly different from “suburban.”

here are the 2006 Gubernatorial results by county. I’m not enough of a MN political student to explain the who and where of it succintly…suffice it to say that it was very close, and that if the Dems could have come up with a better candidate than Mike Hack they would have won.

I dunno, max & maz…I walked around Linden Hills and Lake Harriet yesterday evening, and it sure seems to me that plenty of liberals are making plenty of money.

“What outstater in their right mind would vote for Pawlenty?“

Those in the “net taxpaying” side, I suppose.

fuckin pohlad. you spent your life in a corporate office and in meetings so boring I would shoot myself, and you have the audacity to succeed.

if only you would sit around drinking beer and watching reality TV like me. make the same choices I made so I can feel better about what a pathetic fuck I am.

p.s. fuck you for 1987 & 1991 you rich fucking asshole. the two greatest moments in mn sports history are clearly marred by your lust for wealth. we owe you nothing but scorn and you owe us everything!

we’d be much happier here.

You are constitutionally unfit for happiness, says an urban “from here” voter. We vote “NO” on that proposition.

…I walked around Linden Hills and Lake Harriet yesterday evening, and it sure seems to me that plenty of liberals are making plenty of money.

Yeah, but for every one of them there’s a couple hundred professional students, artists and alleged writers who expect the taxpayers to take care of them.

god you’re stupid.

So which are you, a professional student or an alleged writer?

Then you’d be in the minority.

“god you’re stupid.“

We’re all friends here. Just call him Maz.

I’d like to think I’m maz’s favorite professional student, but I think that society will be duly rewarded for educating me.

And I like artists. Even if they don’t make much money. I’ll support ‘em.

“between the ages of 40 and 80″

Eighty?!?

I’m glad I alrady ate.