Secrets of the City

This is an outrage. Viva and Jerry didn’t win best cable access show!

all boring.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BARMINNEAPOLIS: Cuzzie’s???
BEST IRISH PUB: O’Gara’s???

*roll*

…and Bus Tales beat Overheard in Minneapolis???

I always felt that the Dubliner had the most authentic feel, simply because it is so sparce and unadorned with the usual “Irish bar” junk.

Congrats to Spotty at The Cuckling Stool. Faith Mouse? Gotta read that one.

Best bird cage liner …

Best cheap thrill?

Nice shot at Tammy Lee, anyway. Remember her? Not really.

And with the possible exception of ‘best waste of the first Sunday in June’, I am at a loss to identify Grand Old Day as the best of anything.
1) Take a packed bus/struggle to park.
1a) Try to find your friends, anywhere near where YOU parked.
2) Drink.
3) Walk.
4) Eat fair food.
5) Get rained on.
6) Return to step 2.

My Grand Old Day process:

1) step outside
2) walk 1 block north
3) engage in revelry

Biggest no-brainer pick: Little Szechuan as “Best Chinese Restaurant”…no contest.

Let’s see what ALAMN’s take is on this one. It sure ain’t the cheap thrill of meth but it should ruffle some feathers.

Typical. As most CP articles are actually ghost written by flying monkeys who don’t need road vehicles, their anti-corn ethanol bias is not surprising.

Boondogle? How quaint!

PS- Bob, I totally used my ALA bag on the ride to work today!

From the article: Minnesota needs to grow less corn, not more.

I’ll bet this was written by the same people who said that planting trees in this part of the country was bad for the environment because trees contribute to global warming. What’s funnier is that there are people (well, robots, really) reading this who actually believe that. heh. And some chick told me here yesterday that I had wacko views.

I think it’s the facts that are biased on this one, bob.

I’m with you on the non-corn ethanol.

That’s the ultimate chick magnet, wayne!

I’ll bet this was written by the same people who said that planting trees in this part of the country was bad for the environment because trees contribute to global warming.

You’re a moron. It said that planting the wrong kind of trees contributed. Not trees in general, numnuts.

You do have wacko views, but I’m more appalled by your inability to pay attention to any detail that doesn’t quite fit your smarmy jackass opinion.

Seems to me that CP made about the clearest one-paragraph summary/argument I’ve seen. Please, maz, tell us what’s wrong with it.

I’m sure Minnesota’s farmers have been holding off on their spring planting until City Pages told them what to do…

I don’t respond to robots, sorry R2.

I’m sure Minnesota’s farmers have been holding off on their spring planting until City Pages told them what to do…

Maybe they should have.

You get weirder every day. Being old must be sweet.

It’s like being high only you never sober up.

Mmm. Spot on.

Best Chai

That’s ok. Having 20 somethings disagree with me is not new. Are you sure you’re not one of my kids using a pseudonym?

Spyhouse best place to meet single men and not the Wedge?

This must be the first in like 10 years.

Best Pizza is spot on

sounds like maz wants to discipline jeffk & wayne. first ever MNSpeak public spanking…sweet.

Bus Tales beat Overheard in Minneapolis???

That is a travesty.

Best Pizza is spot on

I have it on good authority that they have rats in their basement. But … I spose that shouldn’t matter to pizza lovers like yourself.

pizza nea is way better than punch pizza.

Best bar Chino Latino?

If your a tourist!

It’s becoming painfully obvious that whoever put this list together is not from here.

Which Pizza Nea has rats? NE or Uptown?

I have it on good authority that they have rats in their basement

says the guy whose kid works for the competition. nice. I heard that Punch has a gay sex dungeon.

Lots of city restuarants have rats. The big question is, are they doing anything to control the problem?

I know for a fact Milio’s uptown has/had rats. And Grandma’s has roaches.

Thus continues the grand MNSpeak tradition of bitching about the CP “Best of” issue.

Pizza Nea imports their rats from NYC, for the real big city pizza experience.

Hey I like this year’s list because a lot of places were ones I’ve never heard of, as opposed to Best Burger: Matt’s Bar and the usual stuff like that. Now for my bitches:

1. Diablo Cody. Enough with her already.
2. Joe Mauer. Boring. First catcher to lead the majors in hitting is great, but until he learns to read a radio spot with some emotion he gets no award from me.
3. Weather. Sven? Half-right. Give it to all the KARE weather team for not hyperventilating everytime it’s going to snow
4. Newscaster. Shelby? Sorry, but Leah McClain is the queen of the crop. She’s only 27! 27! She’s got the poise of a grizzled veteran and that kinda smirk that says “I’m so good at this, I already know what tomorrow’s news is going to be.”
5. Political blogs. Never heard of ‘em. Ever.
6. Local website. Buswhatever. MNSpeak. PERIOD.
7. There needs to be a category for best local nonpolitical blogger and Hedy De Vine needs to win it. The most unique, fun, funny, amusing, original and dripping-with-character blog in the Twin Cities deserves recognition.

On rats…I was all hyped up the other day because the menu in the Centennial cafeteria looked great. Word is: Full of rats. It’s bad enough I got mice eating food off my desk. Now rats.

That’s what I heard too.

Kwatt you’re right about a category for local nonpolitical blogger. That would be fun. Of course, the CP picks for Best Blog have been spotty. Remember Scandalous Minneapolis?

And you pick Leah McLean over me? I’m hurt.

No more talk of rats.

From NYC or otherwise!

Jason, you should get the award for best newscaster blog!

5. Political blogs. Never heard of ‘em. Ever.

Yeah, what’s up with that? I’m a card-carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC) and I’ve never heard of, nor intend to re-visit, now that I’ve seen it, Faith Mouse. More proof that whoever wrote this list is clueless with a capital C.

And you pick Leah McLean over me? I’m hurt.

Once you get on my MySpace, the City Pages Best Of list is fiddlesticks. Let’s look at some who I have honored, in no particular order:

Jason DeRusha
Jessica
Amber
Matt
Nick
Josie

I’ll take them and Emmer over the rest of the CP list any. day. of. the. week.

All the restaurants in uptown have rats. Fortunately, they’re the ones buying food.

Now I don’t want my lunch anymore.

Post a link damnit!

I have never felt more special.

How about the best of the City Pages? Maybe their hard hitting bi-annual on Deadbeat Landlords?!

Also, best 1/3 porn content? City Pages again!!

Best birdcage liner? CITY PAGES!!!!

3. Weather. Sven? Half-right.

Is this a short joke?

Nope…gay joke.

I liked their choice for best male vocalist. Mike Gunther is freaking sweet.

Isn’t everyone here an adult? What’s the point in MySpace?

Pizza Nea in Uptown doesn’t have a basement, AFAIK — and unlike Uptown, MNspeak, or the Walker, it really is dying. Rats and mice live just about anywhere that offers warmth and food. No matter how vigilant you are, they will only disappear temporarily.

What’s the point in MySpace?

No matter how vigilant you are, they will only disappear temporarily.

kinda like the trolls on this site.

Hey, I thought we were capitalizing Trolls now?

There’s been a re-brand.

It’s now simply “t R ols.” The “ols” to be portrayed in only Frutiger Bold.

( o )( o )

I win.

Pizza Nea is freakin’ awesome. So is Mike Gunther.

Best TV Station is obviously Minnesota Stories, bitches!

The “ethanol boondoggle” is fucking retarded.

Corn ethanol produces more energy than it takes to create (USDA Report).

Yes, there are more efficient possibilities on the horizon, but how do you think they’ll be distributed when they become viable? Minnesota leads the nation with E85 stations. We have statewide alternative energy distribution in place TODAY. You’d think City Pages would want that to succeed. Tomorrow’s alt-energy fuels aren’t going to magically reach the consumer if we can’t make today’s ethanol distribution work.

It was a pleasent surprize that Midori’s got it for best Japanese…that place is wonderful and pretty cheap. And I agree with whoever bitch about Chino winning for best bar…I think the writer lives in Osseo or something…christ that place is about as relevant as Figlio’s…

How do you quote from the main text with those little > carrot things?

bitch = bitched…sorry

Kwatt: my blog is better than Hedy’s…haha!

hedy’s blog is always a good read / look. she updates frequently yet always has an interesting take & great photos to match. one of the daily papers should give her a serious look.

I finally lifted my self-imposed five year Chino ban last week (they had offended my martini sensibilities)…I wasn’t missing anything all those years that I couldn’t get in Maple Grove.

Allie,
No, your blog is not cooler than Hedy’s.

Are there any further objections?

Seeing none, the motion is adopted. Hedy’s blog is the coolest.

(gavel)

On the motion to adopt ethanol as the best of boondoggle…

I would also like to concur with the Best Public Restroom one.

I can’t remember what Lock and Dam #1’s potties are like, but I grew up with Lock and Dams (go Lock and Dam #11!) and they are awesome with a capital A.

Heh.

I’m slightly confused about where you’re supposed to pee at the lock and dam. And confusion about where to do your business, often leads to a gross misdemeanor.

That’s what she said.

That’s what she said.

Oh ho… I’m so putting that as my headline on SlutSpace.

giggles.

Kwatt- that’s it, let’s fight…

I’m not fighting anybody until Hedy and ESP mud arm wrestle.

“I’m slightly confused about where you’re supposed to pee at the lock and dam. And confusion about where to do your business, often leads to a gross misdemeanor.“

Yes, peeing in public is a misdemeanor, and it is gross.

But, no, it is not a gross misdemeanor.

Bobby, you totally caught my penal code comedy!

I object!

To this hilarity!

I object to Wayne…ha…

Overruled!

I didn’t make the CP list, but I have been nominated for Worst Blog of All Time. Best Geek Blog too. Although I think that category is supposed to honor blogs for geeks, not blogs by geeks.

I have won some honors for my work as well, Jason.

“Although I think that category is supposed to honor blogs for geeks, not blogs by geeks.“

No harm no foul. Very little practical difference. One expects good Dungeons and Dragons reviews only from another D&Der.

Good point, Bobby. Aren’t all blogs by geeks for geeks?

No, just yours.

“Good point, Bobby. Aren’t all blogs by geeks for geeks?“

If not by design, certainly by application.

But we should always remember that, if you list the top fifty rich people in the world, they’re all either related to an arab prince, or they’re geeks. My son calls someone a geek, and I quickly point out that he’ll be working for that person eventually.

Forgot to add:

Remember that old biblical thingie about “the meek shall inherit the earth”?

It was simply a misspelling of one word on an old piece of papyrus. The meek have been pretty psyched ever since, so we’ve not tried to correct the mistake, but . . . well . . . bottom line is, the meek won’t be inheriting anything.

What a bunch of morons. Talking about CP so much… YOU ALL READ IT AND LOVE IT!!! If you don’t like it, why do you read it? Nothing better than CP… or are you all “The Pulse” readers? Then go read it down the drain.

I agree with the overexposure of Brook Busey-Hunt…..erm, I mean “DIABLO CODY”……..get over her already. She was interesting and cool for about 6 months. Hopefully she and her dopey husband will move somewhere where all the other people who try too hard live……so we can make room for the next overrated Midwestern white writer chick to make fun of.

She hyphenates?

Buzz kill.

She did take a meeting with Spielberg.

That ain’t bad for a pole dancer.

Heh! Just noticed the sticker Pawlenty is wearing in this MPR photo. It was taken at our rally on Friday.

Did you read this story at the MPR site? “Liberians in Minnesota tell stories of abuse, torture”

Oh, I thought it said “libertarians.” Nevermind.

And here I thought it said “librarians.” I know they want to cut their pay, but that’s hardly torture.