Secrets of the City

Here’s an “Other,” which I’ve mentioned before on here.

Minneapolis has no dense, hip neighborhood that people go for shopping, or bar-hopping, or whatever. We’re a small city in a large region, which doesn’t really lend itself to this type of dense neighborhood. Every area is geared toward livability (which we do very well) — but we got no Wicker Park. We have several “hip” neighborhoods that downtown people visit every once and a while, but we got no trendy area that out-of-towners would want to check out. Uptown is overridden with places like Blockbuster, Chipotle, McDonalds and Arbys. It’s not distinctive.

It’s easy to fix: Just move the highend Galleria stores to Uptown. Or, create an Uptown arts district. Whatever it is, it just needs some sort of theme. Put in LRT over the Greenway at Hennepin. Tear down everything East of Hennepin, South of 27th, West of Bryant and North of Lake St, including those new eyesore Uptown Apartments (especially the one w/ that creepy eye on top). Replace everything with one “look” — not that trendy pastel multicolored ‘new urbanism’ look, just brick. No more strip malls (ooh a Caribou right next to Baja Grill!) mixed with houses mixed with boutique shops. Keep the dense housing and boutique shops, give the Uptown Association total planning authority, and voila.

I’ll get to work on this right now and get back to you guys.

downtown, i wish there was a quick gourmet sandwhich shop where you could go and pick up an already made sandwich like pret a manger in London or Tout Pret Tout Pres in Brussels. the ones at au bon pain are too showy and flashy. i want simple and good.

i wish we had a fatburger or in and out burger for fast food

i wish we had a le pain quotidien for baked goods or breakfast

i wish we had pollo loco (a chicken fast food similar to Boston Market) from the west coast or pollo tropical from Florida.

i wish we had a virgin megastore

i wish we had a ordning and reda store

Steak ‘n Shake. Motto: “In sight, it must be right.” Bob’s fav: chili 3 ways. Must stop at a Steak ‘n Shake whenever I’m in Indianapolis.

I wish we supported more local establishments instead of hiding in chains.

IN N OUT BURGER, bitches…double double animal style and xtra cripsy fries with a diet coke for modesty….although if it does happen, it will because a McDonalds-like interest has bought out the In N Out and it won’t have the same qual-i-tay that it does now.

I am always looking for places that serve grits — served stiff, with butter. Catfish, soaked in buttermilk and fried in an iron skillet in cornmeal topping. Greens. Redeye gravy. Real biscuits.

Lee & Dee’s has good catfish, a few places have good biscuits, but no one puts it all together they way I’m used to.

Now I’m thinking of Zeb’s Ribs, home of the orignial mambo sauce….

sigh.

This sounds like we’re planning the not from here strip mall again. . .
where are the dunkin doughnuts devotees?

Where the hell’s the good bbq???

I’m going to second on the Shake ‘n Stake. I could sure use some chili-mac supreme right about now.

Also missing: In and Out Burger.

Where the hell’s the good bbq???

Capps on Hiawatha

Waffle House

Great Dane.
Glass Nickel.

Korean BBQ that is cooked by me at my table.

Really good Indian.

And I second the Waffle House.

I’ll third In-n-out Burger and add Hy-Vee. It has the best meat department of any chain grocer and the twice-baked potatoes are to die for.

rex.

I haven’t lived in the Twin Cities for a while, so forgive me if this exists someplace in MN:

Portland, Oregon, has figured out one of the best combos ever: 1. microbrewed beer (and/or PBR if you’re cheap), 2. great pizza, 3. second-run movies, and 4. historic theaters. I’m not talking a pint and slice next door before the movie, I’m talkin’ bringing it in with you, sitting at a table, couch, or seat with a counter and enjoying all the movies you missed 2 months ago. $2.50 for a slice of pizza, $5 for a pitcher of PBR, $3 for the movie, and you’re guaranteed a good time. The Bagdad and the Laurelhurst are two examples. I don’t know if it’s the uber-hipster-beer-film culture they’ve got out there, cloudy winters, liquor laws, or what, but I’m always surprised these kinds of places aren’t everywhere. I’d never go to a first run theater again.

Beignets!

Good clam chowder. (Yes, yes, there are logistical issues.)

More food from carts. Food from carts is fun. Dutch Dogs are the best thing in the damn world at bar close.

oh, and an American Apparel.

American Apparel is sold at a couple places around town

I second Hy-Vee.

I’d like a Kopp’s Frozen Custard, like Milwaukee has.

And an Italian Beef/Kosher Hot Dog place on every corner, like I had in Chicago.

decent new york style pizza
a fancy downtown restaurant not in a hotel
light rail — do we have that yet? oh yea, it only goes to moa,

I second Kopps, Jason. That place is awesome.

We need a record store in downtown Minneapolis!!!

Did they have Hy-Vee in Wisconsin or did JT bend your ear about it? They have ‘em in Des Moines.

minneapolis has outlawed foor from carts.

(yes, it’s true.)

actually, anything fun you can imagine is illegal in minneapolis.

welcome to suckville.

“have the upper fin.”

C’mon man. That ain’t right.

what’s missing:
a new slogan: “welcome to suckville”

Crap, we really are a cold Omaha.

In-and-Out Burger YEAH
Waffle House “hashbrowns scattered all the way” FUCK YEAH
Dean & DeLuca “for us shitheads” RIGHT ON
Papaya King “double dog with sport peppers” IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY

American Apparel is sold at a couple places around town

Please tell me where.

jeffk, i was thinking of madison. sorry man.

get that store here, now.

If someone would open up a great paper store (Paper Source, Paper Gami, Letterbox) in St. Paul I would be most appreciative.

We need a Batteries-R-Us store on block E so we don’t have to walk so far when our pdas’ batteries go dead. Yeah, that’s it. More specialty battery stores … like on every block. This site is really getting lame-o.

your mom’s on every block

oooh snap!

Interesting to compare from the missing chain thread.

I want American Apparel (in the old Gap at Henn. and Lake, please), Dunkin Donuts, real Chicago pizza, cheap Thai food, a library in my neighborhood that is actually open, sushi, and more density — just more stuff in general (though not in a sprawl formation).

I also want an ocean and some mountains.

We have lakes and eagle mountain, so stop your whining!

Ok fine I’d like a real one too.

I was missing my car from my parking lot– as it had been towed. But that’s another story. ($280 for a tow? For a lot I pay to park in? Wow!)

Anyway, I know Hy-Vee from my days at KWQC-TV in Davenport, Iowa. Lived in Moline, IL… never wanted to become an Iowan.

Tear down everything East of Hennepin, South of 27th, West of Bryant and North of Lake St, including those new eyesore Uptown Apartments (especially the one w/ that creepy eye on top). — Hey! I live there! But not in one of those fancy new places. And that eye is hella creepy. WTF?

1. microbrewed beer (and/or PBR if you’re cheap), 2. great pizza, 3. second-run movies, and 4. historic theaters — Didn’t the Suburban World used to do that? Except I think they only showed classic movies, not second-run. I know I saw a Hitchock film there a long time ago.

I’ll chime in for Dunkin’ Donuts. And if food carts weren’t illegal, a poutine stand would do some serious business on campus ’round about bar time.

Steak-n-Shake baby! Just ate in one in Chicago last weekend. Also, Baskin-Robbins, Carvel, Ben’s Deli of NYC.

Lush (soaps and stuff)
A good Jewish deli
Chicago style pizza
And, like JD said, Kopp’s

Sonic!. Mmmm….CreamSlush. And I definitely have to hop on the In-N-Out bandwagon. Also, did you know that Taco Bell is called Spicy Meat Shack in North Dakota? True story.

I second that Sonic!

My first job was at a Waffle House. They way things are going, it may be my next job, too!

Hy-Vee!

There is a Hy-Vee in New Ulm, Minnesota.

Also, this area needs a Happy Joe’s

There is also a Happy Joe’s in New Ulm. Weird.

3 words: Gay Sex Dungeon

Sonic!

El Pollo Loco

Burger Time

Jack in the Box

Quick

Carrefour

A virgin megastore where the Barnes and Noble is downtown. Aren’t they looking to sublease half of their space? Maybe they could take over the street level…

I second that we need a good Jewish deli.

Also, we need a good pool hall. Now, I know that there’s the “New City” which used to be City Billiards downtown, but I said “good” pool hall. That place feels like a corney low-budget rap video, the service sucks and the tables cost $20 an hour.

1. In-N-Out Burger
2. Pans and Company (awesome sandwich chain in Spain)
3. Like someone else said, a really good Korean joint. I like the suburban ones, but it’d be awesome to be able to eat at one like those I enjoyed in the ROK.

Free rides downtown on Transit, instead of fifty cents, like Portland.

Oh, I forgot to add Family Mart!

Pockets … from Chicago. Tasty, tasty stuff.

If we had a Kopps here, I’d need bypass surgery inside of a week. At my last job we had clients in Milwaukee and would schedule our flights to make sure we could stop at Kopps on the way to the airport. Several times we almost missed flights because of the detour.

Free rides downtown on Transit, instead of fifty cents, like Portland.

There’s no such thing as a free ride….

Somebody’s paying for it.

JACK IN THE BOX

also waffle houses

but mostly JACK IN THE BOX

We need more 50s diners. There’s a bunch of awesome ones in San Francisco we could bring here.

there’s a bunch of awesome everyting food related in SF that we could bring here…
-Tartine Bakery
-Burmese Food
-Taco Stands in the Mission
-Marijuana Clubs
-Dim Sum galore

I could go on for a week…but I’d rather just go there with my wife and spend a week in a wine and food coma.

The town I went to college in had a huge diner car culture. They even used to manufacture a model there that was shipped all over and is probably still in use in a lot of places. We had like 7 diner cars in a little city of about 180k and it was totally awesome. Some were just breakfast places, some were more traditional and some were all night. Unfortunately like two of them were closed because of ongoing legal battles over ownership while I was in school.

What I’d like to see is some *real* restaurants in the Midwest. Unfortunately due to Midwesterners’ lack of functioning taste buds, this is unlikely to ever occur.

Your sickening love of bland and boring meals and incorrect pronunciation of such favorites as Filet Mignon, Calamari and even milk has ruined any possibility of you ever understanding what a good tasting meal is like.

This thread is pointless as any opinions shared here are colored by the above.

What I’d like to see is some *real* restaurants in the Midwest. Unfortunately due to Midwesterners’ lack of functioning taste buds, this is unlikely to ever occur.

Oh god. Here we go again.

Yeah, I always had trouble pronouncing “milk.” This wicked little snark is so similar to some real comments we’ve seen on MNspeak I did a double-take.

heh.

I think we should get a Pinkberry It’s all the rave in LA and now New York and it would be a great fit for Uptown.

Pinkberry – “soft swirls of chilly bliss with a distinct pouty peak”

That’s hot.

More 24-hour diners. Waffle Houses, diner cars, whatever.

Also, uh, you know, trains. Whoever made the assertion that things are too spread out is correct, but I think that could be alleviated to a point by a better transit system. So if a person could meet their freidns for an early dinner at, say, the Modern Cafe in Northeast, then hop a train, get to meet their witless college friends in Dinkytown for a drink, then hop a train downtown, look at a parking lot where a Richardsonian Romanesque warehouse used to be, then get on the train to Uptown, so whatever it is people do in Uptown these days (maybe get their picture taken at the Williams Peanut Bar and then be featured in an ad in City Pages making moderately suggestive remarks about pulling hair when they have sex), then get back on the train and go back to Northeast, and everyone’s asleep by 2:30 AM. A beautiful dream!

Plus the train stations would have some decent public art. That wouldn’t hurt.

Your sickening love of bland and boring meals and incorrect pronunciation of such favorites as Filet Mignon, Calamari and even milk has ruined any possibility of you ever understanding what a good tasting meal is like.

Please tell me “y’all” aren’t from the south…blandest food in the world there. Seriously, grits? Chick-Fil-A? Waffle House? Pure garbage…nothing missing in MN as far as southern “cuisine” goes.

I have to agree with mike s that downtown could use a record store, now that Let It Be has succumbed to the condos that will never be built.

That is hot!

Please tell me “y’all” aren’t from the south…blandest food in the world there. Seriously, grits? Chick-Fil-A? Waffle House? Pure garbage…nothing missing in MN as far as southern “cuisine” goes.

I am not sure where in Real Food Lover’s post you got that they were from the South. If anything they seem like a New Englander or Pacific Northwesterner that obviously knows that the Midwest sucks for food.

Nothing better than a rare steak and some fresh seafood.

more places like uncle franky’s in NE. (hot dogs, beef samiches, sausages…)or maybe just if uncle franky’s stayed open past 6. what IS it with this farking city?

ps. more donuts.

That’s funny, andy! This isn’t new york!

I second the hot dog joints…in Chicago they have:
Hot Doug’s Sausage Superstore and Encased Meat Emporium for the gourmand
AndThe Weiner’s Circle for drunken 4am expletive filled rants.

a bar/laundromat place like they have in nyc. you go wash your knickers, have a martini, and flirt with the hot guy washing his rugby kit.

or maybe that was just me

minneapolis would be a lot better if it had a mitsuwa and an authentic thai restaurant.

It doesn’t matter. It’s all the same.

Hey andy. Buy a fucking car. moron.

also korean bbq that’s cooked at the table. like kc said yesterday!

is there a korean/ japanese karaoke place in mpls? the ones that have private rooms?

sweet…max is posting as tits.

I seem to remember visiting a combo beer bar-laundromat in Cincinatti ~17 years ago druing a lost college weekend road trip consisting largely of sniffing airline glue, listening to Biz-Markies “You got what I need” and drinking cramp-inducing Wiedemann’s Beer…IIRC the clever moniker was “Soap & Suds”

Not aware of any private room places…but the Karaoke @ Kings in Fridley is decidedhly un-Engrish on weekend evenings…fun for the whole family.

We DO NOT need Jack in the Box here.

That place serves absolute swill. And I eat a lot of fucking swill, so I should know.

Yeah, we need a record store downtown! Who the hell is going to buy those condos anyway? More people buy records.

andy’s funny.

How about a grocery store in dowtown St. Paul? Maybe a movie theater. You know those thing that make a city a city. More bakeries. Instead the two shops that just opened in my neighborhood – a magic shop and a cel phone accessories store! Just what the neighborhood was missing.

Del Taco, Jack In The Box, In N Out Burger, American Apparel.

I love the sonic commercials. Especially the young married couple. “This union cannot be!” That guy cracks me up every time.

In-and-Out Burger YEAH
Waffle House “hashbrowns scattered all the way” FUCK YEAH
Dean & DeLuca “for us shitheads” RIGHT ON

Bx, Overland Park, KS (pretty much the Minnetonka of Kansas City) has all of these.

Please tell me “y’all” aren’t from the south…blandest food in the world there. Seriously, grits? Chick-Fil-A? Waffle House? Pure garbage…nothing missing in MN as far as southern “cuisine” goes.

SpellsGood, you’re funny. One word: Hotdish.

Where the hell’s the good bbq???

PwrGeek, your answer is Arthur Bryant’s at 13th & Brooklyn in KC.

I was thinking… Who needs fancy BBQs when we have Ted Cook’s on E 38th Street?

can someone recommend a couple of places for tapas?

We need a little hole-in-the-wall that makes and sells pralines and marshmallow peeps. And a cool spooky voodoo magic shop with a human skull in the window and weird shit in it. And Lucky Dog carts.

A Cafe Vivace imported from Seattle. Situated next to a beautiful sunny plaza with a giant plane tree in the center, where you can sit at little tables, have an espresso, and watch Minneapolis walk by. Accessible via light rail, of course.

Apple crisp, pronto pup, and roasted nut vendors on every downtown corner.

A couple of lovely little green parks downtown with gardens and ponds.

Brothels. (hygienic, licensed ones)

huh?

Ted Cook’s on E 38th Street

Aw yeah.

Yeah? Bunch of jerks! I’m going to build a mass transit system with my bare hands, sheer force of will, and common household items. That’ll show you all. In fact, I’m making the 13th Ave NE station mosaic sign as we speak, out of Swedish Fish, plywood and Tacky Glue. And Mr. Denny H. will not be permitted to ride it to the Burmese restaurant I will build on University afterwards. Ha ha ha! Whos’ the moron now?

Overland Park … ADM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ):<

There is (or at least was the last time I checked) a bar/laundromat in Duluth (Chalet?).

I agree that St. Paul needs a lot of things downtown.

What I’d like to see is some *real* restaurants in the Midwest. Unfortunately due to Midwesterners’ lack of functioning taste buds, this is unlikely to ever occur.

Yes, I concur. You unwashed Midwestern rabble simply have no sense of culinary quality. Why, just the other day while I was dining at an Asian-Latin-Russian fusion eatery and admiring my companion’s Gucci Loafers (ah, the Italians…), I happened to share a comical scenario with him regarding your so-called “Meat Loaf”. After that, we indulged in a simply divine chocolate mouse and then spent the night laughing at people who couldn’t afford to spend $25 on desert. It was a night to be fondly remembered.

Heh.

Runza: http://www.runza.com/

I like this Andy fellow.

Korean BBQ, definitely.

Bulgogi, man. Not just “Korean BBQ.”

Ate for my first time at Uncle Frankey’s today, the new Plymouth location. Wow, great burger and a cool place, plus the girl working the counter was really hot and had a very low cut shirt….made waiting in line a pleasure!

zenrhino: are you sure OP has an in and out burger? Not according to their website . I thin k they are just in CA, NV, and AZ….

nice! the broad that works at the NE franky’s is fly too. that uncle franky knows his stuff.

Some enterprising soul should open the first U.S. location of Naboen in Bergen, or Tennstopet in Stockholm. That would be totally wacky and totally Minneapolis in a way that other types of restaurants could never be. Visitors to the city would stand outside the entrances, squinting their eyes to make sense of the Norwegian menu posted outside, as high-cheekboned, flawless specimens of Minnesotan Nordic physical perfection pass them by and boast drunkenly “Ha! Welcome to Minneapolis, squares! We eat färsk lax lenrimmas all the damn time here!”

Wonder if it was the same girl? This one had a stud in her nose and a tat right on her tit….

Rock on Uncle!

doesn’t sound like the same girl. that franky’s no fool – sex sells. and good hamburgers sell, too.

Wonder if it was the same girl? This one had a stud in her nose and a tat right on her tit….

I suspect the live web cam from Uncle Frankies will give out soon from all the extra viewers, thanks to mnSpeak.

The only way this could be creepier is if Uncle Franky were named Uncle Chester.

why does a hot dog joint need a live web cam? and why is my view of the boomballoti behind the counter obstructed?

why is my view of the boomballoti behind the counter obstructed?

Anyone work near there? Someone needs to run down there and aim that camera a couple feet higher. But wait until after the cop that’s in there now leaves.

it’s right across the street from the mpls school board offices…they never do anything, so maybe one of them can run over quick.

I’m loving this thread now…giving my work day that much needed laugh break. I wish they had a web cam at the plymouth location!

Cubbie…I think those offices are probably emptied out for the day, it’s already after 2.

There are four locations in Des Moines of a fast food joint called Tasty Tacos. Their specialty is a taco wrapped in fried bread instead of a shell, with spicy ground beef, a big gob of shredded cheddar cheese and a delicious red sauce … so delicious. The ultimate stoner food. I still crave them regularly. Would love to see one here …

I keep refreshing that webcam and there is no hot chick behind the counter

Wayne, have you ever kissed a girl? A real girl? On the lips?

you have no idea, anonymous coward.

We have a Hy-vee, a bar/laundromat (Suds & Suds), and Sonic in Sioux Falls, but I would still rather live in MN.

you have no idea

Which means he’s not only kissed her on the lips, he’s kissed her on the other lips.

“Which means he’s not only kissed her on the lips, he’s kissed her on the other lips.”

– - -

What, her cousin’s lips?

.

No, your mother’s other lips.

Dunkin’ Donuts, for the love of God, a Dunkin’ Donuts. Having my friends on the East Coast send me bags of ground coffee is not the same as a large iced coffee with cream and sugar in my hands.

Plus, In-n-Out burger. It’s one of the few things I miss about living in Los Angeles.

wayne yodels in the valley, y’all.

We totally need to do a MNspeak Dunkin Doughnuts road trip and rent a van and drive to Sioux Falls or whatever bumble fuck the closest Dunkin is… then we can gorge ourselves on doughnuts like Roman emperors!!

1. A smoothie shop in NE – a girl shouldn’t have to drive all the way to Whole Foods or St. Paul to get her Jamba on.
2. Mexx and Zara
3. A place to get mani/pedis with my dog.

Sonic! We need a Sonic drive thru so I can have my coveted cherry lime aids and jalepeno poppers!!!!!

grote beat me to The Weiner’s Circle, only restaurant I miss from Chicago…

We need some kind of temporary office space for mobile workers — quieter than Caribou or Dunn Bros …. where I can go a few times a week, meet clients, make calls. A little wireless, maybe a printer or two (but not monstrous Kinko’s babies), just the basics, in a cool, attractive atmosphere.

A good, downtown brewpub, that isn’t a chain (RB). Maybe Town Hall can open another location (how’s City Hall for a name?)

1. A smoothie shop in NE – a girl shouldn’t have to drive all the way to Whole Foods or St. Paul to get her Jamba on.

Save your gas. Go to the one at the U.

We totally need to do a MNspeak Dunkin Doughnuts road trip and rent a van and drive to Sioux Falls or whatever bumble fuck the closest Dunkin is…

I think the closest bumble fuck is Rochester. I’ve heard rumors there’s one down there.

I miss my daily DD breakfast when I used to work a couple jobs in boston. Both jobs had a DD within 100 feet and it was wonderful.

Actually, almost ANY place you go in massachusetts has a Dunkin Donuts, Fleet ATM (now BoA, I guess) or CVS Pharmacy nearby. There’s one of those three on evry street corner.

Boston + Dunkin Donuts = House of Pain Lyrics

wayne, you used to live in boston? i had no idea. i mean, you don’t mention it in every friggin post or anything. yeesh.

look, people started talking about dunkin D’s. I’m going to bring it up if it’s relevant. DD is everywhere back there, so I think it was wholly appropriate and you should shut up.

saloth sar, we live in the same neighborhood. i hear ya. we need stuff that makes our neighborhood a neighborhood. i love my buildling but we need some good bars, a target or grocery store, etc.

I’d like a http://www.sweettomatoes.com/>Sweet Tomatoes!
And a http://www.fazolis.com>Fazoli’s, too. There used to be a couple of those, out in the ‘burbs, but not anymore. The nearest one is in Rochester, now.

We need a Whataburger or a Big Kahuna Burger (one closer to the cities than their Lake Wobegon location).

http://www.whataburger.com/

http://www.bigkahunaburger.com/

I am glad others have seen the evil eye that is now watching over uptown; the whole copper/tin/brick is so 1992. Anyhoo, what Minneapolis needs is A. In-n-Out, a boutique that is actually good and not stuck in 1995 or looks like it supplies juicy sweats to Paris Hiltonites( a nod to Len Druskin direction). We also need the demolition of bros, american eagles and burrito loco(s).