Secrets of the City

I love mnspeak.

I’ll take it as a mark of honor that this post was tagged with ‘huh?’

I like the guac burger at Old Chicago. Bacon or no bacon.

I just eat avocados straight. Dip ‘em in a little fancy French dressing, and yum.

A trick I learned from James Bond, by the way.

What a sad state when the best guacamole I’ve had in the Twin Cities was at Chipotle…

My thoughts exactly, Noah.

Another Googling (this time for ‘minneapolis guacamole’) turned up an article in this month’s Rake where Stephanie March waxes poetic about the avocado, but doesn’t really answer my question.

Bar Abilene has some tasty table side guac.

El Burrito Mercado in West St. Paul has dee-licious guac to go. Also many other delights (barbacoa! pico de gallo! fresh tortillas!) for putting together a Mexican meal at home.

Um, no better guac than that which emerges from my very own kitchen.

It’s only avocado, garlic and lemon juice, people. (Okay, if you’re fancy you can add diced tomato, but nothing else or you’ll ruin it.)

Elementary dear Watson!

Same here, ranty only none too much garlic. And a touch of kosher salt.

Yeah, it’s easy to make your own (gotta have Tabasco and worcestershire, though), but I know people who feel faint at the thought of picking out an avocado at the grocery store, let alone cutting it open, mashing it and mixing other things with it. Sad but true. For those hungry souls, and for those of us who just want to grab a dang ol’ tub of guacamole to take to somebody’s house, I offer the Mercado.

Okay, I can concede a touch of salt, particularly if it’s kosher.

(Mostly because I love to say “kosher.” I don’t know why.)

I second the Chipotle nod. When I order chips I get guac instead of salsa. Es bueno.

Whole Foods’ deli sells super good guac, but it’s not exactly affordable. Bar Abilene makes great guac tableside. Not to go as far as I know. I kind of like onions in mine.

Make your own. Use Stephanie’s recipe. It takes about a minute. I made it on Super Bowl Sunday. Yum.

Doug, it is a mark of honor. Not many sites where you can talk about murder and guacamole in two consecutive threads. I’ve been thinking about guac for an hour now.

I’d kill for a good guac.

bravo sparbs

Max, that James Bond trick… do you cut the avocado first?

I shoot it in half.

… or as the Minnesotan’s say (and spell)… Chip-ol-TAY’s.

I say Chipolte all the time because the people who introduced me to Chipolte said it that way.

What I want to know is what made this guy just decide to Google guac?

the mexican butcher place in the midtown global market sells good fresh guac, though they don’t always have it. pick it up with a pound of carnitas and some crumbly cheese (both also from there) and a pack of tortillas (from the grocery 2 stores down) and you gots yourself the fixins for a pretty mint tacofeast.

the most important and least discussed aspect of making good guac is selecting the right avocados. make sure they’re uniformly deep green and then give ‘em a little squeeze…should have about as much give as the pad @ the base of your thumb whilst making a tight fist. if the skin breaks or they feel gooey underneath fuhgetaboutit…if they are a little too firm and you can wait a day or two, take ‘em home & let ‘em sit @ room temp.

A couple of years ago we stumbled onto the Avocado Fest in Carpinteria, CA (about 90 minutes up the coast from LA…right by Santa Barbara)….and I had about 80 kinds of guac, plus avocado brownies, avocado ice cream and a coffee & avocado milkshake that was surprisingly delicious

Max, do you use the “french whack” to remove the pit?

Cut around avacodo with a 6 inch French knife, very sharp, just to the pit.

Separate the two halfs.

Firmly hold the avacodo half that holds the pit in the palm of your hand. Strike the pit firmly with the knife, aiming the bottom edge of the knife at the center of the pit.

Lift knife carefully. The pit will be cleanly pulled out by the knife.

Warning: Do not attempt after drinking.

also bad idea to whack the pit while drinking mezcal. the dangerous part where doomases cut themselves is actually removing the knife from the pit.

Actually, Bob, I just stab the pit and pop it out with the knife. But you’re way sounds more dangerous, and, therefore, much cooler.

I just finished eating avocado, by the way.

For some reason I have the WORST luck buying avocados at Byerly’s. I kept buying them and they were always rotten inside. I actually went back with my receipt and got a refund on five rotten avocados. I’ve never bought avocados from them since.

But anyway, yeah, homemade guac is the way to go.

I like Guacamole Hut. They have 29 different kinds of Guac. Smoked chicken, Wintergreen, Mountain Mist.

They leave everyone else in the dust, ashamed of themselves, gnashing teeth and writing their resignation letters.

It’s only avocado, garlic and lemon juice, people. (Okay, if you’re fancy you can add diced tomato, but nothing else or you’ll ruin it.)

I add tabasco sauce. Not a lot but enough for a kick.

Tejas does some pretty killer tableside gwak too, with mortar and pestle and Worstershire. Fusiony goodness.

Tejas does some pretty killer tableside gwak too, with mortar and pestle and Worstershire.

Chip-ol-TAY’s — Gah!

You guys would hate my guacamole. I put a ton of crap in there: avocados, jalepeno (or hot pepper), cilantro, lime juice, salt, red onion, and diced tomato. It’s good, though.

This is great because I’ve been thinking about guacamole all week. For real. I was going to make some this weekend…I’ll try out some of your tips! I usually do garlic, lime juice, diced red onions, and diced tomatoes…

garlic, lime juice, diced red onions, and diced tomatoes

That’s exactly how I do mine.

We are brilliant!

I’ll second that!

While we’re on the topic of places with good guac…..

Does anyone know of any places around MSP that make onion loaf? the only place I’ve encountered it in MN is at the Tony Roma’s at the MOA….it’s good there, don’t get me wrong but…I’d like to find a few other places to get it.

I second (or third) Bar Abilene’s tableside guac.

Tejas = Bar Abilene, so same guacamole and salsas. They’re probably my first choice locally for guacamole. I get mine sans Worcestershire, ’cause I’m vegetarian like that. Chipotle is okay, but I strongly dislike their addition of cilantro.

At home: avocado, lime juice, garlic, kosher salt, coarse ground pepper, Tapatio.

*high five Karina and Jason*

Do we have nothing better to talk about other than where to find decent guac and what stores we wished we had in Mindi?

Avocado, lotta garlic, lime, red onion, jalepeno, worch sawce, and malodextrin packet.

Mmm malodextrin packet.

I’ve tried it without and it’s just blah. With it’s yum a dum dum.

*high five Karina and Jason*

Sweet!

are you freaking serious?
You can make the best guac in 4 minutes for a baetter price, and there are no preservatives.

Bob, having trained classically and worked as a chef I can tell you that if any of my cooks did the “French Wack” I’d have fired them on the spot. One bit of angle off, and there’s a trip to the ER. Just use a paring knife, go around the pit, then pop it out with a little squeeze. Noone gets hurt. =)

Karina, what in the blue hell is “onion loaf?” Is it a Minnesotan thing? Closest I could find on the intarwebz was something approximating a stack of baked fried onion rings.

RodG, Not without getting the Godwins involved, no.

Yeah, but who’s to say it’s not just Sysco guac?

“Giant hand-cut Spanish onions, breaded, deep fried and served with our house BBQ dipping sauce.”

I had no idea, either.

I’ve been doing the French Wack for quite some time. It’s not really that dangerous. Much safer than using a mandoline for example. If you have a sharp knife you barely have to “wack” it.

Does Ike’s still make that really nice table side guac?

The best I ever had was on a shore lunch while rafting down the El Paso. They mixed it up right there on the beach on the Mexican side of the river.

Zenrhino, the approximation you found is about right…however it’s less of a stack and more of a jumbled mess in a loaf shape. And they are super delicious. Basically, they are really skinny onion rings with a greasier, flakier batter than normal onion rings or bloomin’ onions. I’m originally from Texas and they are kind of a staple of my early childhood there…they have them at lots of bbq joints.

I learned to love guacamole at Bar Abilene, but I haven’t eaten there in several years, so I can’t be sure the guac is as good as it was “back in the day.” Chipotle is always yummy, too.

I regularly get rave reviews for my own guacamole, which is based on the way I saw them make it at Bar Abilene: Avocados, a little finely minced raw garlic, lots of lime juice (not lemon!) and some salt. If I have some on hand, I usually add some pico de gallo (often I just take some chunky salsa and drain away the liquid). Yum-may.

I also put a ton of crap in mine.

Avocado, Cilantro, Garlic, Onion, Lime Juice, Salt, Pepper, Tomato, Worchestershire, Sambal Oelek sauce (or Sriracha or both), various hot sauces (Tabasco, Cholula, Crystal), and depending on the people I’m making it for I’ll use Jalapenos or Serrano peppers or whatever to add more heat.

I like simple guac just fine too I just don’t make it like that.

*high five ldfs*

No No No on the worcestershire sauce! Blahh. That CAN’T be authentic.

Avocado. Lime zest. A little lime juice. Cilantro. Tomato. Onion. Done.

The French Whack is the way to go. You tend to waste some of that golden, creamy goodness if you squeeze it out.

Avocado, Red Onion, Garlic, Lime Juice, Cholula, Tomato (only if fresh and in season).

If you’re going the commercial route, sad to say, but Chipotle is the way to go. All the tableside I’ve had (Abilene, Tejas, Ike’s) haven’t been well mashed and it just sits in a separated pool of worcestershire and lime juice.

Zenrhino calls himself a “clasically trained chef” and doesn’t know what onion loaf is? And he won’t do the “French whack?” Hmmm.

I have to admit that I’ve seen it done @ several sushi bars, but had no idea that it was colloquially referred to as a french whack…

as a matter of fact when I read “Max, do you use the “french whack” to remove the pit?” I thought JPB was asking Max if he invited Vincent Francoul over to help him make his guac.

At sushi bars, it’s sometimes called the “Wasabi Whack.”

Cilantro, and onion are a must! For the best guacamole, add a splash of tequila. Actually for the best anything, add a splash of tequila.

El Norteno on Lake St. makes a nice guacamole.

I’ve been told by a raw foods catering friend that the best avocados are found at the mercados, and can attest to the fact that the co-ops rarely offer an acceptable one.