Secrets of the City

Lonely SWM misanthrope seeks F with a pulse. I drink too much, hate everything and think I am smarter than everyone else. Also, no car.

very funny. I barely drink at all, but I *am* smarter than everyone else.

Vita.mn is SUCH a lame website…

yeah, I still can’t really figure out how vitamn is supposed to be useful. I can’t believe matt linked CP and not CL personals, though.

CL personals?

Anyone who talks about “dating’ is dating themselves. Get with it, Matt. This is a site for hipsters. Dating is what their parents did.

Craigslist….Duh.

oh yeah, craigslist, duh.

Dating is different than having a date, isn’t it? What do hipsters do?

There’s friendship and there’s “friendship with privileges,” Matt.

People go out as a group. Learned it growing up in day care centers.

It’s all over the news, Matt

I think they mostly update their myspace, write comments on Pitchfork about how The Knife soldout and cry while watching Almodovar movies.

Oh how could I forget…They polish their white belts.

This hot tranny will be dining at Temple tonight.

Meanwhile, check out Chet Baker’s “My Funny Valentine”.

Dont feel bad Matt, these hipsters The Rat is referring to are either in denial about dating, or refuse to use the term because it means that they are susceptiable to rejection.

And by that I mean, if you have a ‘friend with privilages’ then their is no commitment, no possiblity of rejection and no chance of getting your heart stomped on. Whereas if you open yourself up to ‘dating’ and the possiblity of relationship, you may in fact, be dumped/rejected/hurt/heartbroken.

‘Friends with benefits’ is an unhealthy delusion that brings short term satisfaction but little more. Trust me, I speak from experience.

Hooking up. Which is like a date minus all the pesky “getting to know you” stuff.

My bad. I should have known. I’m so lame… wait, hipsters still call people lame, right?

White kid from farm country, now lives in inner city. Likes silence, tall buildings, tacos and the sun. Dislikes things that are larger than they are supposed to be and those bad at public speaking. Does his own taxes with pencil and paper. Once saw former Vikings lineman Chris Hovan in his undapants. Showers daily.

I’ll just sit back and watch the hits come rolling in. This’ll be the last Valentine’s Day I ever spend alone…

tmay – how old are you?

“‘Friends with benefits’ is an unhealthy delusion that brings short term satisfaction but little more.“

– - -

“Short term satisfaction” is nothing to sneer at.

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kwatt – how old are you?

no sneering. i said i speak from experience. just dont overlook the key words: short term. after the moment has passed, you’re still just as alone.

I was tmay, but that tmay was not me. I’m 23, though! Too young to know squat about anything, according to our resident troll!

also, I still love the knife. whatever man.

“no sneering. i said i speak from experience. just dont overlook the key words: short term. after the moment has passed, you’re still just as alone.“

– - -

True, but that presupposes that there’s no value to the short-term pleasure unless something longer-term results. For this to be healthy, though, I guess both parties have to hold the same expectations.

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26.

True about FWB, btw.

26.

True about FWB, btw.

My poor baby has to work tonight.
All of his coworkers are stuck in Chicago.

It will give me some time to pick up and chill some Champagne, cook some food (Probably seared tuna with wasabi mayo, edamame and wasabi mashed potatoes) and pick out some music.

Don’t fear everyone finds someone eventually!

Come on, what’s not to love?

True, but that presupposes that there’s no value to the short-term pleasure unless something longer-term results. For this to be healthy, though, I guess both parties have to hold the same expectations.
—

yes, sharing the same expectations is critical. i still maintain that a ‘friends with benefits’ situation is just a stand-in, band-aid fix for the real thing. but i suppose that theory preys on the pre-concieved notion that society shoves down our throat, that all people should couple up and live happily ever after.

uhhh, did i just bail on my own argument – have Jekyll & Hyde set up residency in my brain?

I think I like that photo more than their music…

23 and 26? Why so young? I have suspected for some time that all men worth marrying over the age of 30 are already married or are gay. Seems to be true of mnspeakers anyway

Kevin – would you be interested in an older woman?

‘Friends with benefits’ is an unhealthy delusion that brings short term satisfaction but little more.

I disagree. If people are responsible enough to handle it, it’s a great way to liberate yourself from the “sex is only for very very special people that I’m in love with” 1950s mode of thinking. It’s just that people are bad at it. Doesn’t make it a bad idea.

I have no idea who that is. What label do I get to wear?

“sex is only for very very special people that I’m in love with”

actually there are people out there who think sex is only for “a very special person i am in love with”

call us crazy but it’s better than diseases and heartbreak

it’s a great way to liberate yourself from the “sex is only for very very special people that I’m in love with” 1950s mode of thinking. It’s just that people are bad at it. Doesn’t make it a bad

The ghettos are populated with people who think this way.

I don’t know about kevin, but I love older women.

Thanks to the magic of contraception, I haven’t had any problems, but thanks for your concern Maz.

By “bad at it” I don’t mean “oops I made a baby”, I mean, drama ensues. If you’re so bad at it that you’re making babies by accident, then maybe friends with benefits isn’t for you.

not to mention poverty.

Sorry Wayne – 23 is really too young. I am only 31 but when I think of where I was at when I was 23…

besides, men don’t mature as quickly as women that’s why we generally have to marry older than ourselves

Maz, there’s millions upon millions of perfectly reasonable young (and old, I suppose) adults whose sexual attitudes have advanced beyond those of your generation and who are enjoying it throughly and safely. I’m not in poverty and I won’t be any time soon. Unsafe sex is correlated with poverty because we’re incapable of teaching people about it propertly. We can certainly eliminate poverty and keep recreational sex.

me: welcome to condoms. The risk is still finite, but it’s worth the reward much more than the risk of driving is worth the reward of transportation. And if hearts get broken, well, that’s part of life, but good communication and maturity can do a lot to prevent that.

then there are the people who ‘wait until marriage,’ which may be why people in minnesota are married before they graduate from college. many then realize that their spouse is not that good of a lay and join swingers groups in the suburbs.

Actually many find out that marriage is not really about the sex but the companionship.

The end up divorced because they find out that the person that was a good lay when they were 20 isn’t such a good companion at 28.

It appears Wayne and I have found more common ground: older women. I’m a little scared of all this consensus he and I have lately. I think we need more division, so I offer this:

Tax cuts are my Valentine.

I just don’t want things to get to lovey-dovey around here. Between he and I , at least.

Wayne,

You’re better off without her. Anyone with such set preconceived notions would not make a good mate.

Very good sir. Maz has been with the same chick for 39 years.

Very good sir. Maz has been with the same chick for 39 years.

This woman has to be a Saint!

There is no other explaination on this earth!

“uhhh, did i just bail on my own argument – have Jekyll & Hyde set up residency in my brain?“

– -

No, I think that you instead just acknowledged that, for you, a relationship is of very high value, and so you’re really not into sharing the accoutrements of a relationship in the absence of one, and that maybe, to you, they called it “making love” for a reason.

Just don’t expect everyone else at the bar to hold those same values . . .

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Wayne, when she gets a little older, she’ll be begging for a vigorous 23-year-old. In fact, I know plenty of older women who’d love to meet you…Demi Moore for example.

Psh, I’m going to agree with you simpleton. I don’t know where she was when she was 23, but I doubt it’s where I am. Besides, there are plenty of older women who still want to feel young! I was with someone her age when I was 20!

yeah, well I guess I am going to be single for life.

Who will have me with my preconceived notions?

My wife and I met 2 years ago through City Pages Personals.

Since then we got married and had a little girl.

Never in a million years would I have thought that “Internet Dating” would have allowed me to find such happiness.

I hope you all find what you are looking for!

I hear that math nerds are good in bed…

Yeah, we need to be mortal enemies because we have different political views, Kevin. This country needs more examples of partisan strife!

The Internet is my valentine.

Maz has been with the same woman for 39 years? I’d have bet money she would have sprung a leak by now.

I know too real nerdy people who met on the internets and got married 6 months later. No way in hell would either have found a mate otherwise.

sayin’, you are not the original sayin’ but I’m still inclined to agree with you on this one.

“Actually many find out that marriage is not really about the sex but the companionship.“

– - -

Many married guys find this out involuntarily. Networks run a lot of sports as a direct result.

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(ah, that’s “two”) heh

too?

The internet got me laid. By some pretty attractive people.

ha!

Or it could be the other way around bobby…

Beer and potato chip breath on a tubby hubby might have some impact in and of itself.

Many married guys find this out involuntarily. Networks run a lot of sports as a direct result.

Way ahead of you, man. I get the baseball package that has all the games of all the teams.

Too bad I can’t get some sort of tax benefit from that.

I know a few people who have met online and then got married. I’m pretty sure they would not have met under “normal” circumstances.

I don’t have the patience to go to all those dating sites. Though, maybe if I did I would have a valentine. It seems to work for everyone else.

Being gay is so much easier!

I don’t know how you deal with those intergender relationships.

See, Kevin, I hate sports. We’re not that similar after all!

Awww.

I don’t see why you would hate sports. It’s all about math. Two beats one, three beats two, etc. Far is good, too far is bad. Too high, too low. It’s all you man.

Awww.

I don’t see why you would hate sports. It’s all about math. Two beats one, three beats two, etc. Far is good, too far is bad. Too high, too low. It’s all you man.

Hey Ranty. I just read your blog about the split moulding. Sorry, I could’ve told you that babe. Next time ask here for some advice and I’ll bet one of us “old coots” has done it.

Way ahead of you, man. I get the baseball package that has all the games of all the teams.

My wife won’t allow that or the NFL Season Ticket or NBA Season Pass in our home…something about it cutting into our “intimacy time”…whatever.

Simpleton, it’s easy: I don’t.
Neither inter nor intra for me.

Ingrid: are you predjudiced against younger men? wink wink

Thanks Maz, but I prefer to learn things the most difficult and expensive way possible.

You don’t need to predrill if you have a nail gun.

I’m not sure if that is with regard to installing quarter round or sex.

rowr

“Beer and potato chip breath on a tubby hubby might have some impact in and of itself.“

– - -

No doubt. At the same time, though, I don’t think I’d be breaking taboos or violating common sense by saying that, generally, women are more prone than are men to losing interest in sex because of a lack of a feeling of intimacy, while men will screw greased knotholes and be grateful for not having to talk to the tree about their feelings.

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Grote –

That’s BS. Vin Scully broadcasting Dodger baseball late on a warm summer night is all the intimate mood you’ll ever need. He is so good.

“I don’t know how you deal with those intergender relationships.“

– - -

Right. Like nobody ever looked at you and said “we never talk anymore”, or, “does this ____ make me look fat?”

The roles have default assignments, sure, but they’re customizable.

.

Hahaha Bobby!

Okay MAYBE.

uh …

Have you listened to Vin lately? Still has the voice, but sadly I’m pretty sure he still thinks it’s 1955 and that he’s in the booth @ Ebbets Field. Ernie Harwell is my guy….did you hear him sub in for 2 innings during the ALDS last year??…Still has the voice and all the marbles…f he came back today he’d still be the best in the business.

My wife and I met 2 years ago through City Pages Personals. — I hope it’s not that os4fun chick.

Being gay is so much easier!
I don’t know how you deal with those intergender relationships. — I’ll drink to that.

Of course I heard Ernie Harwell! But Vin, he’s the best, hands down. He does games by himself for television and radio – AT THE SAME TIME! It’s amazing. Listening to him takes me back to when I was a kid, listening to him do playoff games on crisp fall evenings out in the cornfield waiting in my dad’s truck. He did a game last year that started with TV technology from the early years of broadcasting and worked up adding new camera and graphic technology every inning thru the whole game. It was like watching 50 years of baseball in one afternoon. Since this is a day for love and consensus, what all those old guys have in common is that they don’t yell constantly like today’s broadcasters do. They just talk, whereas John Gordon and Dan Gladden scream. Pretty much any football broadcast will feature two screamers as well.

Dan Gladden must die. Cut the mullet.

If Herb Carneal is not doing the game I listen to the TV broadcast. I can handle Dick and Bert.

stop talking about sports announcers! this is about how pathetic and single we are!

I cannot believe this turned into sports talk.

I guess it’s time to paint my toenails.

Seriously, this is one of the reasons I hate sports. You could be talking about ANY other topic, and all it takes is one mention of something about sports and BAM! You’re stuck listening to guys talk about sports for an hour.

“Wow, yeah, Napoleon really routed them in that battle … kind of like the Colts last week, amIright?”

“Oh man, yeah, and did you see that play blah blah blah blah…”

—

“yeah and I was totally givin it to her like this, and she was like ‘unh unh unh’ and then”

“dude you totaly scored!”

“I know, bro! Speaking of scoring, did you see that 3pointer at the buzzer last night?”

“Oh man, seriously! Shit was amazing! blah blah blah blah …”

—

I could make examples all day, but you all know it’s true anyway.

yeah, you guys scare away all the girls

yeah, you guys scare away all the girls

See, that’s what I’m talking about.

Aaaaactually, nevermind, go talk about sports. That just means there’s more ladies to talk to me about something other than modernized tribalism.

so Wayne, you don’t like sports?

What are you doing tonight?

I think the fact that I receive up to 50 out of market games per week and watch a good portion of them speaks volumes about how pathetic and single I am. The best days are always Saturdays when east coast games start at 11 am and west coast games end at 11 pm. That’s 12 hours of baseball. See, that’s pathetic.

So jealous. My family just keeps getting in the way of my sports viewing. One last sports comment and then back to V-Day. I’m setting the over/under on NBA Players Arrested During All-Star Weekend in Vegas at 4.

Ahhh, baseball’s almost here.

But I’m confused…is this the mnspeak hookup thread or not?

Kevin needs to meet some Young Republicans…

Want me to introduce ya?

Actually, I need to catch up on this week’s Young and the Restless. And I don’t mix work and play, but thanks anyway.

But I’m confused…is this the mnspeak hookup thread or not?

MNSpeak should have personals.

I’m going home after work and having dinner. Not much else.

Stop it! Stop! No! More! Sports! Talk!

So you prefer Dems for your romance then, K?

Yeah, me too. There’s so much more opportunity for makeup sex in a bi-partisan relationship.

I had never thought of it like that, but no. I don’t mix work and play as in I’d prefer to meet someone not involved in day to day politics. I couldn’t care less what anyone’s individual views are. The last thing I want to do outside of the office is talk about the office.

Most of my colleagues are my parents’ age. No problem with office romance there! Many of them have children my age.

well this thread petered out. Thanks, sports! ):<

I need a date. My space isn’t working out for me anymore:

Youngish woman looking for love, Battlestar Galetica viewing partner and person to attend Uptown happy hours and drinking establishments with late at night. Cross-eyed. Tall. Eats mostly cheese.

Ok, back to myspace…

Happy Valentine’s Day, MNspeak-peeps!

I love cheese. I used to eat bowls full of it in college when the dorm cafeteria didn’t make anything good. To this day I still bite into a hunk of sharp cheddar for an evening snack.

woah, hello Christine! I love battlestar galactica!

I’m glad they caught that racist doctor last episode!

I also like tall girls and live by surdyk’s, so there’s always plenty of great cheese nearby!

I’m totally going home and watching the first episode tonight in honor of Hearts Day!!

Surdyk’s cheese rules!!!!! I heart cheese!

Other than subbing STNG for BG and being cross-eyed, Christine sounds a lot like Alexis.

I also like ST:TNG. But It’s way over with, and BSG is still fresh and new and I don’t know what’s coming next!

and the miniseries is so well done! or did you mean 33? Also a fantastic episode. This season is kind of creeping along so far, but I’ve got high hopes.

OMG! Is Alexis an ITNJ by chance?

I’m an INTP.

Cupid just struck me.

awww….

cute!

you’re in love with alexis?

What the hell’s an INTP?

you’re in love with alexis?

Who isn’t?

I’m not in love with Alexis. Who is she? I prefer me some manlovin’ — where’s Steve Marsh????

What the hell’s an INTP?

What is this all about?

ZooTrouble

oooh, oooh, pick me. I’ve never been arrested.

It’s all about the L O V E Zoo…

MY Name Twice

Whoa whoa whoa…Ranty, you paint your toenails AND you’re Republican?

I just forgot all about Alexis…

I really prefer the term “fiscal conservative” these days.

rotflmao @ bud and ranty

que wha?

“fiscal conservative”

I totally read that as “fecal conservative.”

Speaking of fecal….

Oh for crying out loud.

Maybe you should stop reading Alexis’s column…

I totally read that as “fecal conservative.”…….Maybe you should stop reading Alexis’s column…

There’s nothing I love more than butt-sex humor. Nothing.

Hmm, I think I’m INFP… I can never remember…

Anyway, I kinda wish OkCupid had a bigger following. It seems to do a much nicer job of breaking down the reasons why two people might match each other. Then again, I’m not sure if it really works—I’ve never actually dated anyone from there, though I have chatted with a lot of girls on the site (unfortunately, mostly from hundreds of miles away). It’s free and comes with all the advantages/disadvantages which that entails. Sites like Match.com or even eHarmony seem outrageously overpriced for the amount of detail they use for matching people (and the depressingly low hit rate I got on them), but the requirement to pay for a service weeds out a lot of the creeps.

Match dot rip off.

ranty, I want to show you my trim nailer….

For your 1/4 round.

I’d like to share you with my success story on Millionairematch. I really can’t believe online dating is so wonderful. We’re going to marry next month.