Secrets of the City

Thanks. This is one of those things that I might have rolled my eyes at before I moved to the city, but now I kind of get it. Kind of.

that one Mega House that caused the dust-up (and is actually quite lovely with it’s heavily windowed Southern exposure) is on E. Lake of the Isles Parkay just W. of Euclid.

There was one in my neighborhood (Nokomis) at 724 E Minnehaha Parkway that originally listed for $829,000 but did not sell.

Most of these places require a zoning variance to accommodate their size.

I always wonder why people buy houses that are so big they have rooms they never actually enter or utilize.

I’m guessing it’s the same reason why people buy Red Corvettes.

Like maybe they came from tough upbringings, worked hard, made a success of themselves and wanted to reward themselves?

Yeah, that’s crazy…

Liberal schmuck.

Empty, useless room. Hell of reward, bud.

Yeah, that’s crazy…

I do think it’s a little nuts to buy something you have no intention of actually using. I have nothing against buying a nice big house with a Subzero fridge and a Wolff stove. Hell I wish I could afford to have a bigger house with fancy appliances. I just don’t understanding consuming for consumings sake.

That explains the big house, I guess….but the Corvette thing is usually more of a small dick issue.

I’ll say it again: everything old is new. Isn’t most of this city’s older housing stock divvied up in pretty much the same way?

And is anyone seriously suggesting my mom doesn’t need four levels and five bedrooms for herself and the cat? Of course it’s a waste of space, but try selling any house with less than 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, and 3 garage stalls. They don’t make those anymore.

but the Corvette thing is usually more of a small dick issue.

Hey. watchoo talkin’ bout willis?

I never envisioned Maz in a ‘vette…seems like more of a Lincoln Town Car type.

BTW, the SWJ print edition (this was a while ago) had a picture of an offending house. I want to say it was on 56th & Drew-ish… definitely in one of the southeast areas I didn’t immediately recognize as part of Edina proper, so it’s south of 54th, between France and Xerxes.

try selling any house with less than 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, and 3 garage stalls. They don’t make those anymore.

Sure they do…they just call them condos.

I didn’t think that house on Lake of the Isles was unusually large for the lot size or out of character for the neighborhood. Couldn’t say the same for a few houses I’ve seen in Linden Hills.

A McMansion is just like a mini-mall:

Like maybe they came from tough upbringings, worked hard, made a success of themselves and wanted to reward themselves?

Yeah. That’s how it usually happens.

And even if it does, fuck you for destroying a neighborhood with your stupid McMansion. Learn to live in a community or move to Eden Prairie, please.

House envy is a terrible afliction, eh, Jeffy?

bud’s gonna run over yer honda with his suburban.

There is one at 4640 Aldrich; it’s on the MLS. The flipper/rehabber used some strange siding material and it looks ugly. I especially love the photograph from the family room that looks out onto the neighbor’s driveway and their two older cars.

Psch, I wish I could afford a Honda.

I never envisioned Maz in a ‘vette…seems like more of a Lincoln Town Car type.

This is what I imagine maz like:

But with internet forums he trolls instead of wow.

So does anyone know are these houses receiving variances or do the neighbors just not like how they look? That’s where a farm-bred guy like myself starts to roll the eyes.

Mooo-ooom! Bathroo-oom! Bathroom!!

Well, Minneapolis has required yard setbacks, so to the degree that these homes are eating up extra yard space, I presume they must have acquired variances.

4640 Aldrich (south) is a 1917 1.5 story bungalow, hardly a “McMansion.”

Also, WTF is with those 1.5 story homes…26′ x 5′ Master Bedroom with a 6′ ceiling??? no thanks.

It looks like another house landed on that 1.5 story bungalow. It reminds me of these additions in Chicago.

Maybe I’m looking in the wrong place… but that Aldrich house looked normal to me.

Those additions are disgusting though.

That actaully happens to a lot of structures in Chicago…not just houses.

Is this what you’re looking at?

Eeeks, no, I was looking at this.

It seems to be the same house though!

Perhaps we have a before and after?

Bizarro.

Elizabeth…based on the color scheme, that isn’t a house…it’s a block of Neapolitan Ice Cream

Yeah, that paint job is gross. Paint job and bad siding aside, though, I don’t think the house is all that out of place in the neighborhood.

Jeez…I guess a million bucks doesn’t go very far these days.

Considering you like “My Humps,” I don’t know if I should trust your aesthetic judgment.

I like all humps.

You’ve hijacked my opinion…what are you stevemarsh? I hate that song, and I’ve seen Fergie up close…her humps are more like goosebumps.

That was directed to ericam.

I love humps, and hate My Humps.

I like all humps.

But what I was getting at is, are these large houses getting permission to go beyond city ordinance limits and that upsets people; or do people get upset because a new house is bigger than the old one, but still legal, and just differs from their personal tastes?

Easily the most bonker-rific one I’ve seen isn’t in Minneapolis, it’s just past France in SLP near Joppa and 39th. Some wacko bought two houses next to each other and then connected them. It pretty much looks like somebody built a really nice breezeway between two big houses. Insane.

Next time you make a run to Trader Joe’s, swing by. It has to be seen to be believed.

Considering you like “My Humps,” I don’t know if I should trust your aesthetic judgment.

Heh!

I thought about that before confessing, but I felt compelled to share. I’ve already taken a bit of a beating this week. What’s one more? Just add it to the idiocy, liberal knee-jerk outrage, and German-ness. Oh, and I like humps, too.

Would anyone like to know just what I’m going to do with all that junk inside my trunk?

I could go on.

Dare I ask about your lovely lady lumps? Check it out.

Kwatt, I don’t think we can know the answer without asking either the neighbors, the neighborhood organization, or the city.

Wanna go check on that?

Maybe. I have an odd fascination with this subject.

Dare I ask about your lovely lady lumps? Check it out.

Jason, do you take karaoke requests? Because I’ve got one.

Like maybe they came from tough upbringings, worked hard, made a success of themselves and wanted to reward themselves?

I think this is right on. I recently visited someone who lives in one of these things, and they seem really proud of a their cavernous dwelling.

I think we’ve been convinced that this is what we want, that giant houses and huge trucks are rewards. But why? What makes it special? Why is square footage happiness? People don’t take the time to think about these things, and if it crosses their mind, the TV is right there to distract them with some dead playmate. It’s sad and kind of scary.

Ooh, fygar I know that house! It’s so bug and weird you can’t take it all in at once. Good luck selling that thing!

p.s. I think maz drives an old Volvo.

I think we’ve been convinced that this is what we want, that giant houses and huge trucks are rewards. But why? What makes it special?

Because you don’t have one. Because giant houses provide space to store all the stuff you want to buy. Vast prosperity! He who dies with the most toys wins. And the rest of the yuppie credo. Me? When I cash in and move to Ely, my little one bedroom house on the lake will be about a fifth of the space I have now. And I’ll be 5 times as happy.

Is it cash in, or cash out? I’m not too up on urban slang.

my little one bedroom house on the lake will be about a fifth of the space I have now. And I’ll be 5 times as happy.

right on.

As long as that house doesn’t have internet so you’ll stop bothering us.

I realized the reason huge trucks and huge houses are so IN now is because everybody is FAT! Have you seen all the fat turds we have around here?

Good news for the suspension industry! Fatties are wearing out the suspensions in their cars two to three times as fast as regularly-sized people, and with the ever-growing number of fatties in america there’s sure to be a surge in necessary suspension work soon!

Unfortunately, the seat size in public transportation and other public facilities has not taken this into consideration. Ever sat next to a corpulent mouth-breathing business traveler on a cross-country flight…or had to sit sideways into the aisle on a Metrot Transit bus or a Lambeau Field football game because they a-hole next to you was pushing 4 Bills?? I have, and while other folks’ diets are none of my business, I say that once you fat ass starts creating a public nuisance by blocking aisleways, it’s everybody’s business.

Yes, yes, and no.

Wait, Metrot Transit? is that french?

I still think fatties need to pay for the extra seatage they use, though. If we don’t start charging lardos for extra plane seats, two things will happen:

1) all the fatties will be crowding over into one another’s seats, creating a real problem when there’s no more normal people’s space to usurp
2) the planes will be over their weight capacity and fall out of the sky

bonus!
3) the drink service will never make it past the rolls sloughing out into the aisle, thus making fatties cranky and prone to revolt

back when I was avioding hypocrisy and courting the flu by riding the bus, it was referred to as Metro Transit…has that changed?

Thankfully no one ever sits next to me on the bus!

Well a developmentally challenged guy did once.

are these large houses getting permission to go beyond city ordinance limits and that upsets people; or do people get upset because a new house is bigger than the old one, but still legal, and just differs from their personal tastes?

If it were me next door to one of them, I’d be upset over both. Something that’s out of proportion is one definition of ugliness. No guarantee that a house is attractive just because it’s the same size as neighboring houses, but at least it’s not looming-over-you in-your-face can’t-avoid-looking-at ugly.

In my neighborhood, there’s minimal space between houses, so if your south neighbor adds a story, there goes your sun. Bitches.

believe it or not, when they built those old neighbourhoods they DID know what they were doing!