The daily digest of Twin Cities culture | Secrets of the City

Absolutes. I love them.

This is a recent discovery, however. Till very recently, the only way I could trounce a full-time forum--like MN Speak--with post traffic was with salacious words.

Now I find that all you have to do is issue is an absolute. You don't have to prove it but you must invite your enemies to meet you face to face so you can shove it down their throats before they reveal themselves to be little girls with asexual names like my own. This being said, let's get to an even more useful list than my previous post.

The top 10 cars to buy are as follows.

1) The hottest eco-mom-i-cal car on the horizon at present is the SAAB Sport Combi Wagon. They've made this car for a few years now so you can snap a under 30k mileage example in the low 15s or less. The "hockey puck" window treatment on the back of this bitchin' ride is reason enough for ownership. Low emissions, very decent economy and a peppy engine only add to its allure. I also like the rubbery feel of the SAAB shifter but I am not supposed to.

And then there is always the jet thing with SAABs. Its all advertising bullshit, but it's there somewhere in their DNA, if only in the stupid key between the seats.

2) Anything by Scion.  I particularly like their least expensive four door econo-box. It has a cushy ride and a high belt-line that makes it simply look different than other eco-boxes. The Nissan Versa/Renault is also a comfy ride, but the Scion is more reliable and unique looking.

3) Mazdaspeed 3. Best pocket rocket of all time. Ever. Do I need to cross-reference all the magazines that have appluaded this little beast as such or do I simply need to turn your attention the long-term test in the lastest Motor Trend? I would buy this car right now while Mazda is on the verge of a new 3 introduction.

4) Splurge Car. BMW Z4 M Series Coupe. Talk to my friends at Sears about this one. It's better looking than the Boxster and kicks the small of your back with a torque wallop than few cars, in any price range, can match. While it is unweildly at the limit,  that is what makes it fun. Unique.

5) Mazda MPV If they still make this mid-mini van you should buy it for your budding family. While no one knows about these cars, they look great, offer four-wheel drive and can be bought for peanuts. Mazda's loss is your gain.

6) Semi-Splurge Car. Cadillac CTS-V Series (first generation). This car has a few problems. It suffers from wheel hop under hard acceleration if driven incorrectly. Secondly, it has a Nurburgring-finessed suspension that is overly harsh for most corpulent backsides. It apparently does a number on its back end after 60,000 miles due to the copious amount of torque expended by the engine. 

But try and find faster, meaner (in black or siliver with window tint) four door sedan with knife-edged handling for around 20k right now (with low miles). The only competitors would be the 8th or 9th generation Mitsubishi Evos (less luxurious, but still more fun) yet something about them signals "big boy racer" and you really want to buy them new.

7) Toyota Tundra Truck with the 5.7 liter V8. While even the mighty Toyota has not fully fetted this monstrous engine, this beast trumps all comers. The fact that you can buy one brand new with this engine for about mid-20s makes this a Godzilla-sized great buy.

8) Honda S2000, Lincoln Aviator and well, I would personally buy back my 2003-04 Mustang Cobra for around 14k and start pimping it out all over again if I had the money.  I've waxed about these cars in previous posts so I won't bore you here.