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As the debate at the capitol starts to sound eerily Tyra-inspired, it's important to note that, according to The Defenestrator's highly-knowledgeable sources, had House and Senate leadership handled Pawlenty's veto of the Central Corridor differently, many of the problems the DFL caucus has with Tim Pawlenty's demands likely would have been non-issues. As things stand, (or sit, bound and gagged to a chair, really) Sen. Steve "Technicolor Dreamcoat" Murphy and Rep. Margaret Kelliher are in dire need of Mick Jagger's sage counsel, not to mention a safe word:

You see, the DFL caucus blew their proverbial wad when the veto of the Central Corridor came down. Rather than allowing the public to comment on this great disturbance in the Force, the one that felt as if millions of public transit users cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced, the DFL legislators tipped their hand, letting Gov. Pawlenty know just how desperately they craved the long sinuous track running sensuously through Frogtown's deepest and most secret crevices. And while the train is rather important, the fiscal solvency of Minnesota's cities would seem to be even more important than joining hands and riding the love train.

And what could possibly threaten our urban areas enough to risk jeopardizing quiet and comfortable public transit to our finest ethnic eateries? Simple - in a bizarre twist, our executive branch wants to play nanny. Not to any delicious babies, of course - he prefers free range - but to property owners. It's no secret that our governor has not enjoyed the nigh-daily dirty sanchez he receives from irate constituents and opponents who blame him for stratospheric hikes in property taxes. And it's true that, while he may not exert direct control over said taxes, his cuts in local government aid and other funding has forced our cities and towns to look for revenue in other places...like our homes. Now that he has the DFL caucus bound, gagged, and spread-eagled, Timmy has decided that the best way to address the situation is to place a cap on those property taxes. Of course, out of the goodness of his heart he tied it to the consumer price index to account for inflation - his version of the reach-around. Too bad he has freakishly short arms.

While Gov. Pawlenty's concern for the taxpaying public is like a warm fuzzy blanket made from the fur of 1,000 virgin kittens, the consequences to urban areas could be disastrous. Minneapolis and St. Paul were forced to drop the quality of essential services during the last downturn, shedding police and fire department employees, not to mention Minneapolis residents' unrequited desire to borrow books on Sundays. Given that no one wants to see Minneapolis cops any more surly, hamstringing one of the cities' primary sources of funds seems like a profoundly bad idea. The sort of idea that would come from the diseased mind of a crack-addled human/badger crossbreed, actually.

This is not to say the DFL's magical new formula for determining property tax refunds is sent down from the heavens, carried by rainbow riding valkyries singing show tunes. Capping property taxes at 2 percent of income for anyone earning less than $100,000 would make the tax code more progressive, but there are far simpler ways to accomplish that goal - like perhaps actually making the tax code progressive. Wacky idea, I know, but it just might work.

In any case, the legislative session continues on unabated despite the governor's hand wrapped firmly around the collective genitalia of the DFL caucus, squeezing more tightly every day. The only question remaining is just how much will the legislature sacrifice to preserve its precious precious light rail. And whether Rep. Kelliher and Gov. Pawlenty agreed on a safe word. The variable that still remains to be determined, of course, is what DFL legislature has to give up in exchange for freedom. Delicious. Tantalizing. Freedom..

3 Reader Comments

Katie (not verified)04:16pm
May 9
Bull. S***. 95% of University-based "cities' finest ethnic eateries" won't EXIST if train-based transit comes down the street they're on. Trains will pass them by, and in a state where it's cold 8-9 months of the year, no one will hike the 2-5 long blocks (depending on how many stops there are) back to them. Please reconsider your support of train-based transit taking this route if you're interested in preserving those businesses. Read http://www.mnblue.com/node/1479 for more. Thank you.
Rich Goldsmith05:30pm
May 9
Katie, I appreciate the sentiment, but thus far, I haven't seen much to convince me of that. I hear a lot of anecdotal information and no hard studies. There's no question that the construction phase will suck, but that applies anywhere you place the line. The construction on Lake Street was the same way, as were the improvements to Lake Street recently.


As for your arguments about trains passing them by, I could be wrong, but I've been under the impression that a great deal of the restaurants' business comes from people driving there. It's certainly the impression I get when I park in the lot behind Little Szechuan or try to find street parking.

Of course, I could be wrong. Has anyone done any analysis? I certainly don't want to lose out on my Cambodian eats or watch one of the area's only authentic Szechuan restaurants disappear, let alone be advocating for the mass unemployment of the region's hardest workers, but before I start launching profanity laced tirades at the train advocates, I'd like a little more info.

Alexis (not verified)09:41am
May 13
This has nothing to do with the blog post above, but Rich, can you please email me from a different email address than the one you did yesterday? I replied but it bounced back. Also, I can't open the photo attachments; can you send them as jpgs?

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