Dude Weather Subscribe to Secrets Minneapolis / St. Paul

The Adventures of Melinda

I Really Did Get Wet and Wild at "Wet and Wild"

Share

Ok... I made a promise to my husband and kids that — although I am
known to get a little out of control — they would never have to worry about me pulling a Britney Spears. Well, I pulled a Britney, but it wasn't my fault! :-)

Here is what happened.

My whole life I have dreamed of swimming with Dolphins, so my husband found a place in Mexico called Wet and Wild, where, after being given THOROUGH instructions with the Dolphin trainers, you can actually jump in the pool and swim with the Dolphins.

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was!!!!!! In my mind I pictured being like one of those woman you see at Sea World posing in a pretty suit on top of two Dolphins swimming full speed ahead.

Well, it wasn't quite like that.

First of all, I was put in a group with five kids under the age of 10 who wanted to jump in without listening to the rules. Big mistake on their part. One at a time, each of these little rug rats came out of the pool disappointed by the fact that the Dolphins were not cooperating. Not only were the kids bummed, but their parents, who all had cameras ready and wallets empty, came away with nothing more than an angry kid in a wet bathing suit smelling of bad fish!


I was not giving up on my dream though! I had a plan: Get to know the
trainers and listen very carefully.

After chomping at the bit and making small talk with Edgar (the head trainer), it was my turn to fulfill my dream. I jumped in the pool without thinking about two very important details. First, I was wearing a bikini; and second, I had on more ornaments than a Christmas tree. What can I say? I don't go anywhere, even swimming, without covering myself in jewelry. Sickening? Yes. But that's me!!!!!!

Edgar guided me to where I needed to go, and after a little bit of flirting (with Edgar) and watching my husband roll his eyes, I was READY!!!!!!!

I did as Edgar instructed me to. I floated on my stomach and positioned my feet facing down, waiting for "Alex" and "Keeley Kat" to come and whisk me up in the air for the big ride across the pool.

Well, as I was swept up in the air by the two Dolphins and whisked at full speed across the pool it never occurred to me that I was being videotaped by several people, and that the bottoms of my bathing suit were... well... how should I put this?... OFF of my butt and ON the Dolphins.

After I took a deep breath and saw the horrified look on several people's faces, I did what any person who just fulfilled the fantasy of a lifetime would do. I made every person with a camera promise not to post the video of my very embarrassed 40-year-old butt on YOUTUBE!

So far, so good! My only concern is the one guy who pretended he didn't speak English and refused my plea to respectfully erase the footage.

As I told my family... If a picture of me standing half naked on top of two dolphins should ever surface... I will simply deny deny deny... unless it just so happens that some hot 20 year old also went swimming with Dolphins at "Wet and Wild" and lost her bottoms too!!!!

P.S. Much to the dismay of my husband, the navel jewelry stayed on, so I guess I will have to keep wearing it. :)

Thanks Alex and Keeley Kat!!!!!!!!!!!!

13 Reader Comments

St.pauly (not verified)11:02am
Jan 3
Absolutely hilarious. I am in love with this girl! She could be a rich brat but she is so down to earth. Pauly
Anonymous (not verified)10:00am
Mar 10
Hey dolphin lady nice story,............now expose your pooper!!!
bktz (not verified)11:28am
Jan 3
what I wouldn't give to see that picture or better yet sell that picture.
Queenie (not verified)12:05pm
Jan 3
This girl is so over the top but I laughed my tighty whitey's off.
Anonymous (not verified)01:05pm
Jan 3
Laugh out loud worthy. Who would of ever thought this (so be said stuck up) woman would be so outgoing and funny. Keep up the great work Melinda. -Richard L.
Thomasss (not verified)03:47pm
Jan 3
Melinda we want to see that navel jewelry and wouldn't mind a sneak peak at what's below it. tommy
Anonymous (not verified)05:43pm
Jan 3
OHhh this is absolutely adorable! This story was really cuute and i enjoyed reading it. I love experiencing adventures that occur on vacation because they are great stories to tell! Plus it's even more fun to say that it happened in Mexico!
PPP (not verified)08:35am
Jan 4
Hey Melinda what do you think of everyone trashing your buddy Andrew? I think there is a pattern here.
Robin Wolfram (not verified)10:25am
Jan 5
I laughed 'til I cried Mellie! Your stories never cease to amaze and entertain! Thank you for allowing us all to live vicariously through your exciting life! And how endearing that yes, perhaps some would consider "bling" in a pool a little over the top - it IS you - and oh so refreshing. I wouldn't change all that color in all the world!
ucle Stu (not verified)10:01am
Jan 10
Very cute Melinda. UNS
julie (not verified)06:18pm
Jan 13
This is just one, of a long list of far more serious reasons why us humans should not swim with dolphins in captivity.
m0rt (not verified)10:53pm
Jan 15
Mel, You get bored with this work thingee already?
gregoh (not verified)09:54am
Jan 18
What happened Melinda. I was just starting to get to know you and poof your gone. Are you on vacation?

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <i> <b> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
By entering in the words in the captcha image, you help us prevent automated spam submissions and keep the site tidy.

Blogs

Sports

Baseball:
Warning Track Power by Alex Halsted
Sports:
On the Ball by Britt Robson

Society

Weather:
Dude Weather by Jimmy Gaines

A&E

Fiction:
Write Now! by Terry Faust

Retired

Hockey:
Spazz Dad by Todd Smith
Style:
Hook & Eye
Misc:
Is This News?
Fiction:
Yo, Ivanhoe by Brad Zellar
Food:
Consider the Egg by Stephanie March
Wine:
Beyond the Cask
Food:
Food Fight!
Media:
To the Slaughter
Misc:
Outrage by Staff
Food:
Chef's Table
Guest Commentary:
Just Passing Through
Humor:
Spazz Dad by Todd Smith
Cars:
Road Rake by Chris Birt
Commentary:
Read Menace by Tom Bartel
Society:
The Adventures of Melinda by Melinda Jacobs
Politics:
Defenestrator by Rich Goldsmith
Food:
Breaking Bread by Jeremy Iggers & Ann Bauer
Books:
Cracking Spines by Max Ross
Music:
Hear, Hear by Staff
Art:
The Vicious Circle by 6 Critics
Secrets:
Secrets of the Day by Kate Iverson
Theater:
Seen in the City by Staff
Film:
Talk About Talkies by Staff