Secrets Blog

This Is A Stick-up

No laughing matter here, folks. A group of armed gunmen have been prowling Uptown and robbing bar patrons as they walk down the street. Twelve robberies have been reported in the last 3 weeks, including one guy who was hit twice on the same night. “After the first robbery, he went home and got more cash, which the robbers promptly took a few hours later.” Yikes. I think I’ll stay up here in Northeast, where all the bartenders pack heat and I know they’ve got my back.

Heartspark Dollar-Whoops!

More reasons not to miss college. Everclear, aka “the most affordable and available alternative rock band” (ouch!) played the U of M’s Spring Jam last Saturday. One guy was so excited he ended up falling over a 20-foot high retaining wall. Perhaps it was karmic retribution for stomping this guy’s Pumas?

The World Is Flat

When NYT columnist Tom Friedman swung through town last week for a reading at the Fitzgerald (that link is the entire video via MPR), he dropped in for a couple hours at the local design firm Greer and Associates, where he spoke about his book new book, The World Is Flat. He answered questions and told a story about being the caddy for Chi Chi Rodriguez at the U.S. Open at Hazeldon in 1970. So why Greer? First, because Ken Greer is a childhood friends with Minneapolis-reared Friedman; second, because Friedman’s book contains an entire chapter about Greer and Associates. Maybe someone who reads more than Maxim‘s book reviews can fill us in on why exactly Greer is cited in the book…. in the comments.

Must See TV

Some citizens have altogether given up on local tv news, but we at MNspeak celebrate it by playing the TV News Drinking Game. Expect the drinks to flow heavily this week as the Holy Grail of bad news kicks in — yes, it’s May Sweeps! A PiPress story outlining what to look forward to couldn’t be more disappointing. Consumer news packages and a Red McCombs interview are the best they could come up with? “We’re not going to tell you where to put your eggs and where to put your cold cuts in your refrigerator,” says the FOX affiliate news director. Wait, that’s the story we want!

Pot For Pizza?

If you’ve been to Fargo, you know that pot for pizza is a completely acceptable form of exchange, so it’s a shame drops this sad victim story as “water cooler” fodder.