Stick with us here: A detective shows up to a murder scene where the victim is naked except for a Vikings hat on the victim’s head, a Packers hat over the victim’s face, and a Bears hat over the victim’s genitals. The detective picks up the Packers hat, looks at the victim’s face, puts the hat back down. Again the detective picks up the Packers hat, looks at the victim’s face, puts the hat back down. Going to pick the hat up again, an officer on duty at the grizzly scene says “Detective, why do you keep lifting up that Packer’s hat?” The detective turns to him and says “It’s quite odd, Packer hats are almost always over (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐□-□ (⌐□_□) assholes”. Feel free to use that joke on this newest—and arguably most dangerous—underground city tour from Bill Lindke, he’ll be shepherding you through Packer Bars in St. Small during a Packer game. Sunday, 11:40 AM. Free. —Peter Armenian

Tiffany Sports Lounge, 2051 Ford Pkwy, STPL; tiffanysportslounge.com